by Joanna Neil
Back at the cottage, everything seemed strangely quiet. She had become used to having her sister around, but now there was only stillness and a hollow echo that followed her as she moved about the place.
The phone rang, and Katie gave a startled jump. Could that be Alex, wanting to talk to her? Her pulse quickened.
It wasn’t him. Instead, a woman’s voice came over the line, and she introduced herself as someone who ran the rehabilitation centre where Alex’s mother was staying.
‘I know this is an unusual request,’ Dr Barstow said, ‘but I wonder if you would have the time to speak to Mrs Brooklyn? She’s been staying with us for a while. I realise that the two of you have never met before, but she heard that you were a colleague of her son, and it would help her enormously if you would talk to her for a while. It’s one of the strands of our rehabilitation process that we suggest our clients have contacts with people who might be able to help with certain aspects of their care. It would only be a question of chatting to her. There needn’t be any other involvement.’
Katie frowned. Alex’s mother wanted to talk to her? Why would she want to do that?
‘Yes, I think that would be all right,’ Katie murmured. ‘Actually, though, it would probably be better if I were to come and see you. Alex has told me briefly about your centre, and I would be quite interested to see how you work.’
‘That would be excellent,’ the woman answered, giving her the address and directions. ‘I’ll look forward to seeing you. I’ll let Mrs Brooklyn know that you’ll be by tomorrow.’
Katie stared down at the phone when she replaced the receiver. Why wasn’t Alex calling her? Where was he? Would he mind if she were to go and speak to his mother?
The residential centre was just a few miles away from where Katie lived, nestled in a wooded valley overlooking a small lake. It was an old building, set back among trees, with a wide sweep of lawn to the front and shrub gardens to each side.
Dr Barstow met her in the wide hallway at the front of the building and showed her into a spacious room, where glass doors led out onto a large patio. ‘It’s really good of you to come out here to see us,’ she said. ‘Mrs Brooklyn…Hannah…is making really good progress. I think being able to talk to you will help her along tremendously.’
Katie glanced around the room. A couple of people were in there, talking to one another, while a nurse stood over by a window, preparing hot drinks.
‘Hannah is out on the terrace,’ Dr Barstow said. ‘I’ll take you to her and I’ll arrange for some tea to be brought out to you.’
‘Thank you.’
Alex’s mother was sitting by an ornate white table, taking in the fresh air. She was arranging flowers in a bowl, carefully clipping the stems and inserting each delicate bloom into plastic foam.
Having made the introductions, Dr Barstow left them alone together.
‘That looks beautiful,’ Katie said, admiring the design Hannah was working on. ‘You clearly have talent, to be able to do something like that.’
‘It’s something that I’ve learned since I’ve been staying here,’ Hannah said. ‘They have such lovely gardens, and they allow me to go and pick whatever flowers I want.’
‘That sounds like a dream come true. I’m still struggling to get most of my shrubs tamed into shape, let alone produce flowers.’ Katie’s mouth curved. ‘Would it be all right if I sit with you?’
‘Please, do.’ Hannah smiled, a sweet, gentle smile that softened her features and brought a glimmer of light into her grey-blue eyes. She had dark, almost black hair that had been trimmed in neat layers to softly frame her face. ‘I’m so glad that you came to see me. Alex has told me so much about you.’
‘Has he?’ Katie was surprised at that.
Hannah nodded. ‘He said that you and he met years ago, when you were both staying at the children’s home. He was so pleased to have met up with you again.’ Her gaze moved over Katie. ‘He told me that you were working together, but when he came to see me a few days ago he said that you were in trouble, and that his managers wanted him to suspend you. You must be feeling very unhappy about that.’
Katie wasn’t sure how much of the detail Alex had told his mother. She said cautiously, ‘It came as a shock. I had hoped that things would work out all right in the end, but they didn’t. I know that Alex was hoping to be given the job of taking charge of the new unit, and he wanted everything to run smoothly so that the hospital chiefs would see that he was doing a good job. I’m not sure how much any of this would have set him back.’
‘That wasn’t exactly what I was concerned about,’ Hannah said. ‘Alex pretty much takes charge of his own life, and doesn’t rely on what other people do or don’t do. I feel he does that because I let him down so much over the years.’ Hannah grimaced. ‘I know he has the idea that you might decide that it’s all too much for you to handle and that you’ll give in and go back home to where you used to live.’
‘I must admit that thought did cross my mind.’
‘You shouldn’t do that.’ Hannah looked into Katie’s eyes. ‘I know it’s not my place to say, but it’s the sort of thing I used to do before I came here. My coping strategy was to pretend that bad things weren’t happening and that I could hide myself under the covers, so to speak. Since I’ve been here, I’ve learned that it’s far better to face up to problems. You hide because you think that they’re going to overwhelm you but, in fact, hiding makes them worse. It’s the fear of the unknown that brings you down. I’m beginning to learn that it’s easier to deal with troubles straight on.’
Katie nodded. ‘I know what you mean. When I was working at the other hospital and everything started to go wrong, I just ran away. I was still doing that when Alex found me.’
Hannah nodded. ‘He said that your sister was going through a bad time, and that you helped her just by being there for her.’ She gave a wistful smile. ‘That’s how it was with my sister, Jane. She went away for quite a long time and I felt lost and alone, but then she came back to me and put me back on my feet. She was brilliant with Alex, too. She made up for all the troubles I’d put him through.’
‘He must love you a great deal to have brought you here.’ Katie watched as Hannah added sprigs of flowers to fill out the design she was working on. ‘This seems to be a wonderful place.’
‘It is. They’ve taught me so much about how to cope with stress. It was hard for me at first because they put so many challenges in front of me, but I didn’t have any option but to get through them. It seemed tough to begin with. It was worth it, though. I feel so much stronger for learning how to deal with things, and I can see now where I was going wrong. They’ve made it clear that I’ll always have someone to counsel me if need be when I leave here.’ She smiled. ‘I’m not going to let Alex down. Things are going to be different from now on.’
Somehow, Katie believed her. ‘I’m glad about that.’
‘So how will you handle this threat of suspension? Have you worked out what you might do? Do you think you’ll go back to where you used to live?’
Katie shook her head. ‘No. I like it here in the Lake District. My cottage is small, but it’s home for the time being, and I’m going to make the best of it. I’m not running away again. In my heart, I don’t believe I did anything wrong, and I’m going to say that to whoever will listen. No matter what happens, I’m going to stand my ground.’
‘Good for you.’
They talked for a little while longer, and Katie realised that she could grow fond of Alex’s mother. She seemed to have been through a lot, but now she was at a turning point in her life.
‘Would it be all right if I come to see you again?’ Katie asked when she was getting ready to leave.
‘I’d like that,’ Hannah said. ‘I’d like it very much.’
Katie made her way back to the cottage and tried to work out what it was that had prompted Alex’s mother to call her. She hadn’t asked for anything for herself or told her much of Alex’s th
oughts, and yet somehow Katie felt that Hannah had acted purely out of a desire to ensure her son’s well-being. How could Katie do anything to help him get what he wanted, except to accept the suspension that management wanted him to impose?
The cottage was silent when she let herself in through the front door, and she wandered into the living room and opened up the French doors into the garden to let the fresh air flow through.
She checked her answering machine to see if there had been any messages, and to her surprise there was one from Alex.
‘I’ve been trying to ring you over the last few days.’ His deep voice came from the speaker, and for a moment it was as though he was in the room with her. Her breath caught in her throat until she looked around and realised he was not there. Then her spirits sank. ‘Where have you been?’ he said. ‘I should have asked you for your new mobile number, shouldn’t I? Call me?’
No wonder he hadn’t rung. She’d forgotten that she had bought herself a new phone and donated the old one to charity. Had he been trying to get in touch all the time she had been at her parents?
She dialled his number. Would he still be at work, or away at the coast? He didn’t answer, and she left a voicemail message, telling him that she was at the cottage. She left her mobile number, too, just in case.
He didn’t return her call, and after a while she went out into the garden to gather some flowers. There weren’t many to choose from, but the roses were in bloom and their scent was enchanting and would cheer her up.
She set them out in a crystal rose bowl, and then went to flick the switch on the coffee-machine. Why didn’t Alex ring?
There was a knock at the door, and she guessed it was Nathan, coming to ask for an update on the malpractice suit.
‘At last.’ Alex was standing there in her porch and he gave her a wry smile. ‘Does nothing work around here? It looks as though your doorbell is on the blink, as well as your phone being out of action. Remind me to check the battery for you.’
‘Alex?’ Katie’s eyes widened. ‘You’re here. You’re not at the coast?’
‘I was never at the coast. Whatever gave you that idea? Do I get to come in?’
She stared at him, trying to get her head together. ‘Of course.’ She stood to one side and waited for her heart to stop fluttering.
He shut the door behind him and began to walk along the hallway. ‘I had to go to a conference in Yorkshire,’ he said. ‘I could hardly get out of it because I was one of the speakers.’
‘Oh, I see.’
‘Hmm.’ He looked at her. ‘I’m not sure that you do. Shall we go into the kitchen or the living room?’
‘The living room,’ she said. ‘It smells better in there.’
He sent her an odd look. ‘I beg your pardon?’
‘It’s the flowers,’ she explained. ‘I just brought some in from the garden.’
‘Does that make a difference?’
‘Well, of course it does. They make the room a much more pleasant place, so that we can sit and talk.’
He shook his head briefly, as though he was trying to clear an irritating fog from it. ‘Obviously it must be a woman thing—though I don’t think you’re quite yourself, are you?’ he asked softly.
‘Possibly not. It’s been a trying time lately.’
‘Yes, I know. That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. Are you going to come and sit down?’ He indicated the sofa, and she went to join him there.
‘I found the nurse, Helen,’ he said. ‘The one who was in Theatre with you.’
‘You did?’
‘That’s right. She married the doctor from the renal unit, and now she’s working in the paediatric department at a hospital some ten miles away from your original one. She said she remembered what happened, but better than that she had the presence of mind to save the film of the angiograph and made sure that it would be available if it was ever needed. She said you were too concerned with taking care of the patient to think about doing that.’
‘That’s probably going to be useful if it should go to court. It will show the rupture quite clearly, won’t it?’ Her mouth made a downward turn. ‘But I guess you’re still going to have to suspend me anyway, till it’s all sorted one way or the other. When will that begin—right away?’
He frowned. ‘Who said anything about suspending you?’
‘You did.’ Her lips made a straight line. ‘You said management told you to suspend me.’
He lifted dark brows. ‘I was never going to suspend you.’
She frowned. ‘But your promotion—you want to head up the new unit. Has that gone to someone else?’
‘I could always have gone for promotion somewhere else. I was never going to follow what management said…not without just cause, and this wouldn’t have been just, would it? We can’t have people ousted on rumour and conjecture, can we? What we need is an open policy, where people feel free to admit that they’re only human and that they can only do their best under difficult circumstances.’
‘But the patient complained…’
‘Katie, you didn’t do anything wrong. Your former registrar gave me permission to view the films from the angiography and they show quite clearly that there was an aneurysm that must have formed independently of what you were doing. It had most likely been there for some time, and it ruptured without any intervention from you, because the artery wall had ballooned and was too thin to sustain the patient’s high blood pressure. You didn’t cause it to happen. You didn’t make any mistakes.’
‘I didn’t?’ She let out a long, slow breath. After all this time, she finally knew the truth.
‘Anyway, even if you had, the patient had signed a form agreeing to the procedure, and that kind of operation is never without risk.’
‘Yes, but I was a senior house officer. I wasn’t experienced enough to do it without supervision…isn’t that what he’s saying?’
‘True, but how would that stand up in court when your consultant had turned off his pager and your registrar was sick? Would he have been happy if you’d simply stood back and let him bleed to death while you waited for a supervisor? Hardly. Once we lay the facts out for the patient and his lawyer, I’m certain that he’ll drop the complaint.’
His mouth twisted. ‘Your consultant must have been worried that he would be criticised for not being available. It’s no wonder he quietly let you go when your contract ended. By seeming to put you in the wrong, it saved him from being embarrassed.’
Katie looked at him in bemusement. ‘I thought you blamed me for all this. You were angry with me, and you sent me home. I felt terrible because I thought I had ruined everything for you.’
He reached for her, cupping her shoulders with his palms. ‘I was taken aback because you hadn’t told me any of it. I thought you didn’t trust me enough to confide in me, and that disturbed me more than anything. Of course I didn’t blame you, and there’s no way you ruined anything for me. I stand by the decisions I make.’ His hands were warm on her, gliding over the silk of her bare arms and thrilling her with his touch.
‘I was so unhappy,’ she said huskily, ‘not just about the complaint, but because I thought I’d lost you. You seemed so distant. I didn’t know how I was going to be able to go on.’
He looked into her eyes. ‘Does that mean you care about me…just a little?’
She gave a choked laugh. ‘More than just a little,’ she said softly. ‘I love you, Alex. I think I’ve always loved you.’
He wrapped his arms around her and held her as though he wouldn’t ever let her go. He bent his head and rested his cheek against hers, his fingers tangling in the softness of her curls. ‘I thought you were in love with that lawyer,’ he said in a roughened tone. ‘I like him well enough, but it knotted me up inside whenever I saw you with him.’
‘Me and Nathan?’ Did he actually care about her enough to be jealous? A warm glow started inside her. ‘You really thought that we were a couple?’
‘Something l
ike that.’ He scowled, his eyes darkening.
Katie laughed. ‘He’s just a very good friend and neighbour. He’s been wonderful, giving me advice about the complaint and helping out with Jessica from time to time.’
‘I wondered about that, too. I know how important Jessica is to you and she seemed to get on much better with Nathan than with me.’ He frowned, running his hand along her spine and sending ripples of pleasure cascading through her body. ‘Then you weren’t here when I called and I guessed that you must have gone back home. Is that what you’re planning to do? I know how much you care about Jessica, but I was hoping that you would stay on here.’
She looked up at him. ‘She thought I wouldn’t want her around if you were with me.’
He nodded. ‘I thought she was feeling a bit awkward whenever we were together. You know, Katie, I love you, and if that means that your family comes along with you, that’s fine by me. Jessica is your flesh and blood, and I would be more than happy to have her in my life.’
‘You love me?’ A smile broke out on her mouth. ‘Do you really love me?’
‘I really, really love you,’ he said with a chuckle. ‘Let me kiss you and show you just how much I love you.’
His mouth swooped down to capture hers, and for a long, long while she savoured that kiss. It made her toes curl in blissful excitement and sent quivers of exquisite delight to tease every nerve ending in her body. She ran her hands over his chest, along his shoulders and arms, loving the feel of him.
‘That is a whole lot of love,’ she said on a ragged sigh.
‘Buckets full.’ He looked down into her eyes, his mouth curving with amusement. ‘Will you marry me, Katie? Please, say that you will.’
‘I will.’ She kissed him tenderly on the mouth. ‘I definitely will.’
He rained kisses down on her, covering her cheeks, her forehead, her throat and then her mouth, before he eased back a little and contented himself with trailing a finger over the line of her jaw.
‘What will you do about being with your family?’ he asked. ‘Do you want us to move back to Humberside? I’d prefer to stay here, now that I’ve been offered the post of head of the unit, but if you really want to be close to them, I’ll understand. It would mean coming back on a regular basis to see my mother and my aunt.’