WE WAS ALREADY GONE BOUT FIVE MILES down the road, Papa said, fore o’Calley could even talk bout it. They ain’t one thing in the Whole World more Saddern to Love some body and them not to Love you back is they, he said. No Sir I don’t reckon they is, Papa said. Well they ain’t, Calley said, No Sir they just ain’t. I’m sorry I said, Papa said. You’re sorry, Calley said, What you got to be sorry bout at your age. Well Mister Pearsall, Papa said, I reckon I’m just sorry Pela Rosa don’t Love you no more is all. Don’t Love me no more. Who told you Pela Rosa don’t Love me no more, Calley said. Who told you that. Why you did here just a minute ago, Papa said. You said they wadn’t nothing more Saddern in the World’n to go a’Loving some body that don’t Love you back. Oh Why Hell’s Bells Boy, Calley said, I wadn’t talking bout me if that’s what you was a’thinking. Oh No Sir I was talking bout how o’Pelo’s gonna feel when Pela goes a’riding off with me on o’Firefoot and you and that little Dog there just a’follering long behind on o’Edward. Oh, Papa said. I didn’t know that. I worry bout you some time, Calley said, don’t pay nough attention to what’s being said. Here lemme give you a xample, Calley said. That Man back yonder said o’Pelo’s going round the Country telling People that same Story you told him bout you a’going down there to Hell in you Dream to see what become a’you mean o’Daddy and you didn’t even Whoop bout him a’stealing that Story off you. I told him that Story same as I did you, Papa said, I don’t see how he stole it off me. He ain’t only a Murderer goes round Hanging People didn’t never do nothing, Calley said, Now he’s a god dam Story Thief to Boot ain’t he. Well I don’t know, Papa said, I didn’t never tell him he couldn’t go round telling that Story if he wanted to. You don’t have to be Nice to that o’Red Face Son of a Bitch, Calley said. I don’t remember him being Nice to you when he was a’reaching to put that Noose round your Neck and drop you off a Cliff or some thing. No Sir that wadn’t Nice was it, Papa said. O’Pelo wants to talk bout Hell, Calley said, by god I’ll give him all the Hell he’s ever gonna wanna talk bout in his Life. And then some more just like it on top a’that, he said.
FIRST THING O’CALLEY SAID when we come a’riding into San Antoneya, Papa said, was First Thing we gotta do is get you a Bath and a new Hat. I don’t need no Bath, Papa said, but I reckon I could use me a new Hat all right cause I ain’t got none at all right now. No Sir you need em both, Calley said. You wanna look nice when Pela Rosa sees you. You the one needs to look nice when she sees some body, Papa said, She don’t care nothing bout seeing me. I already had my Bath here just the other day, Calley said, Don’t you remember Little Missey give me one then went over there and warshed my Pants out for me too. I still don’t want no Bath, Papa said. Listen to me now, Calley said, they got what they call a Bath House in San Antoneya where they’s People give you your Bath for you. Ain’t no body gonna give me my Bath, Papa said, No Sir. They scrub you with a Brush and Soap then dry you off with these big Towels they got and Why then you come out a’looking Bran Spanking New. I don’t wanna come out a’looking Bran Spanking New, Papa said, They ain’t no body gonna scrub me with no Brush. How bout we just chunk you in the River then, Calley said. Why you could give you your own Bath then and wouldn’t have no body a’rubbing round on you with a Brush or nothing else if that’s what got you so Worried. How bout I just warsh my Face off, Papa said, how bout that. That’s all Pela or any body else ever gonna see a’me any how ain’t it, Papa said. But o’Calley wadn’t bout to let it go. I know just where the River runs through Town, he said, Grab a’good holt on o’Fritz there I don’t reckon he’s gonna want him a Bath no moren you do when we get there.
Oh they was people all up and down in the River, Papa said, some of em a’warshing they little neckid Babies and Childrens and others a’warshing they own neckid self and they clothes and whatnot and they wadn’t no body I could see worried bout doing it in front a’ever body else like that neither, he said, Even one Old Man a’warshing his big o’fat Hiney with a rag over there by the Bank. The main thing I didn’t like bout it, Papa said, was it made me think a’that Happy Time when me and my Momma and my Brother Herman was out there in the Creek with the Little Bay Mare that my mean o’Daddy went and shot Dead that night and then my Momma run off from Home the next morning after that and I never did see her again cep in my Dreams. It was just bout then, he said, when o’Fritz come a’swimming up His feets just a’going and I grabbed him up in my arms and give him a Hug cause right then, Papa said, I needed to be a’thinking bout the Good Things in my Life and o’Fritz was sure nough one a’em.
OH AND THEN THE NEXT THING, Papa said, was here come two Men a’carrying a Sign with a Big Red Face on it and ever body went to jumping out the River to go see, even that Old Man a’warshing his big fat Hiney but his Wife hollered at him to get on back in the River and stay there til she said so. Why that’s a pitchur a’o’Pelo Blanco ain’t it I said, Papa said, after he got his Face all burned off in the Fire. Yes Sir it is, Calley said, cep now the o’Thief wants ever body to believe it was the Devil his self Who burned it off for him when he was down there in Hell and he come all this way back up here so he could warn ever body else in the World bout it as a Favor. That’s what the sign says huh, Papa said. Says that, Calley said, and says he’s gonna tell us how to save our own Soul from the Red Hot Fiery Burning Flames down there in Hell fore its too late. They ain’t no Flames down there that I seen when I was there, Papa said, just ever body a’setting round on a Flat Rock and a’Crying bout it. Yes Sir, Calley said, but getting a Red Butt a’setting round on a Flat Rock all day long ain’t near so exciting to People as getting it burned off in the Fires by the o’Devil his self is it. No Sir, Papa said, it ain’t. So which way you reckon he’s gonna tell the Story, Calley said. Yes Sir he’s gonna Whoop it up bout the o’Devil ain’t he, Papa said. Yes Sir, Calley said, And we gonna be there when he does.
Then when we got our Horse out the River and went to saddling em up to go, Papa said, Why we looked over there and seen one a’the Men a’carrying that Sign reach over with his Boot and give o’Fritz a kick when he passed. You ever do that again Mister, Calley said, and you gonna lose you that Boot and Foot both. The Man just laughed, Papa said, and said I ain’t a’scared a’no Little Toot of a Dog like this one here. No Sir, Calley said, But I ain’t a’talking bout no Little Toot of a Dog like that one there and you better god dam well know it while you still can. Oh and then the Man seen the Look in Calley’s Eye and said Yes Sir Well I know it now. Well then, Calley said, maybe you oughta just tell that Little Toot of a Dog there you Sorry for that Kick you give him. Yes Sir I am Sorry the Man said, Papa said, but Calley said No don’t tell me you Sorry I ain’t the Dog you kicked. So, Papa said, the Man turned to Fritz and said I’m Sorry I kicked you Dog but Fritz was a’licking on his self and wadn’t paying no attention. He ain’t a’listening, the Man said. Tell him again, Calley said, You ain’t a’going off no wheres til he knows you Sorry for kicking him. I’m sorry Dog, the Man said, I’m Sorry I’m Sorry I’m Sorry but, Papa said, o’Fritz didn’t even look up at him from his a’licking on his self. That little Dog ain’t a’listening, the Man said. Well maybe you better tell him again then, Calley said. Hey Dog I’m a’talking to you the Man said then reached out with his Foot and give o’Fritz another kick to get him off his Hiney and pay attention and Oh when he did, Papa said, Why of a sudden o’Fritz come a’Live and reached his Teeth out in a big Surprise and took him a Bite on that Man’s Foot and Oh the Man hollered and run off fast as he could go and, he said, we ain’t seen him since. Fritz you Little Toot of a Dog, Calley said, you was just a’playing Possum on that Man wadn’t you. I don’t know he was or not, Papa said, but when Calley said that Why o’Fritz just grinned and went Heh Heh Heh like he always does some time.
WE STILL GOTTA BUY YOU A NEW HAT Mister Pearsall said. So, Papa said, we rode on into Town and when we got over there to the Plaza Why they was Pigs a’rooting round all over the Place in front a’this o’Building they had w
ith a pretty Winder in it and the Street in front was made a’Mesquites Blocks. You know What that is I reckon don’t you, Calley said, then took his hat off and put it on his Heart. It’s Some Body’s Church I reckon, Papa said. I ain’t never been here fore to know. Well, Calley said, you’re more Right than Not. It’s kind a’ever Texan’s Church now I reckon, he said, cause it’s where one Texas died that Mexico usted to own but at the same time it died Another Texas was borned in its place that didn’t Mexico or no body else in the World own cep itself. Course o’Sammy Houston had to whup o’Sanny Anny over at San Hacinto to do it. Yes Sir, Papa said, my Grandaddy Andrew and his Daddy John was along on that trip. Yes Sir I know it, Calley said, I remember you a’telling me that Story one time. After we get you a new Hat here in a few minutes, he said, you always remember to take it off and hold it to your Heart when you come a’riding by here cause the Alamo is a Holy Place and you want It to know you know It is. Yes Sir I will, Papa said, but how you know It’s gonna know I know It’s a Holy Place when I do. Well that’s what a Holy Place is, Calley said. It’s a Place knows ever thing they is to know in the World and it’ll help you tell you self things you wadn’t able to tell you self just on your own. But to get the Right Answer, he said, you got to have your Question just Right in your mine first. Is that why we come a’riding this way, Papa said, so you can ask the Alamo here a question you can’t answer just on your own. No Sir, Calley said, we come a’riding this way cause just down the street right over yonder is the Joske Brothers Store and that’s where we gonna get you a new Hat and me a new pair a’Pants that ain’t got a Bullet Hole in the Leg. And maybe if she’s lucky, he said, we just might find a little Treat for Pela Rosa too while we at it.
I NEVER SEEN SO MANY PEOPLE a’going In and Out a’store in all my Life as I seen a’going In and Out the Joske Store that day, Papa said. But I reckon what surprised me most, he said, was they was selling Saddles and Spurs and whatnot right there when you first come in the Front Door and back behind that they had em a Wall didn’t have nothing on it but Hats Hats Hats. I ain’t never had a Store Bought Hat in my Life, Papa said. Well you gonna have you one today, Calley said, even if we got to go down to the Creek and shave some o’Beaver’s Butt to make it. Bout that time the Store Man come out from back behind the Counter, Papa said, and said What can I do for you Gentlemens here today. First thing, Calley said, is this Young Man here needs him a good Hat and not one a’them silly things some stores sell to the Greenhorns off the Train neither. Why certainly not, the Store Man said, then reached up and took a Hat off the Hat Wall had a round top and a big wide flat brim on it and just set it right down on top my Head and Why it was so light, Papa said, I wadn’t even sure it was up there or not til I looked in the mirra and seen Yes it was. And Oh Yes Sir, he said, I did like what I looked like in that Hat. John B Stetson Hat like that gonna last you a Life Time, the Store Man said, then you can pass it on down to your own Son just fore you go in the Box. Oh Calley and me give each other a Smile at him a’thinking we was Daddy and Son, Papa said, but I reckon by now we come to Think pretty much the same way our self. I reckon I’m gonna need me one a’them John Bs too, Calley said, One just like that One there if you got it but my size. Boss of the Plains Old Man Stetson calls it, the Store Man said. I wouldn’t have no other my self and I ain’t surprised you wouldn’t neither Mister. If I was you, he said, I’d go upstairs and get my Pitchur made in them John Bs soons you Settle Up for em here.
And that’s xactly what we done, Papa said, and Oh the Pitchur come out on a piece a’tin just Pretty as you please with Calley a’setting in this big Chair they had made out a’Texas Long Horns and Rawhide and me a’standing back behind him with my hand on his shoulder the way Daddys and Sons do in Pitchurs I reckon. And if that wadn’t enough, he said, Why then o’Calley went over there and got em to put it in a Silver Locket with a chain to hang round Pela’s neck. Hard to tell if this is a Pitchur a’us or a Pitchur a’our John Bs they so much prettiern we are ain’t they, Calley said. Then, Papa said, we went in that other Room where they was selling Pants and Calley told the Man he needed him a new pair didn’t have no Bullet Hole in the Leg and One More Thing, he said, They got to be loose nough round the middle sos I can stick my big o’Pistola down there in the pocket for when I might need it. Yes Sir the Man said, Papa said, and fixed him right up.
It’s kind a’ever Texan’s Church now I reckon . . .
FRITZ WAS A’SETTING UP ON O’EDWARD in front a’the Joske Store a’grinning at all the People a’passing by when we come out, Papa said, and it give em so much Pleasure to see him I wish I’d a’had bout a hunderd more of him. Fritz you been a’behaving you self I said, Papa said, then looked over there where Calley was admiring the Locket with us a’wearing our John Bs in it. You reckon she’s gonna like it, he said. I don’t see why not, Papa said, pretty as we are in our John Bs. Well look a’here, Calley said, I got him to make one for you too when you wadn’t looking and then, Papa said, Why o’Calley come out his pocket with a’nother Pitchur a’us just like that other one and give it to me to keep and Oh I was glad to have it. The only other Pitchur I ever had took a’me was with o’Arlon over yonder in Kendalia, Papa said, just fore he Murdered that Man with Mister Armke’s little Cook Knife and got his self sent off to Gatesville Boy Prison for it. Thank you for the Pitchur I said, Papa said. I’d a’put it in a Locket for you, Calley said, cep I was scared it’d make you look so pretty some body might try to give you a Kiss. I’m glad to have it any way you wanna give it to me, Papa said. Well, Calley said, I reckon it’s some thing you can look at in your Old Age when you a’setting out there on your Front Porch with bout sixty-seven Granchildrens a’squirming round in your lap. Pela’s gonna like it too ain’t she, Papa said, but I seen they was some thing bout it bothering him cause he couldn’t look me in the Eye when I said it. You ain’t scared she ain’t gonna like it are you I said, Papa said. I ain’t a’scared a’nothing in this World, Calley said, cep maybe starving to Death.
So, Papa said, we went on down the Street and had us a Bowl a’Chili at Senyora Garza’s Place but fore we got there, he said, we come a’walking pass this Poor o’Beggar a’setting out there on the Board Walk had him these Fins with little short Fingers on em where his arms oughta been and he didn’t have no Toes neither then Calley reached over and give him some coins cause a’what he looked like and told him he admired him moren just bout any body he ever seen in his Life cep maybe just One or Two cause it takes a’lot a’Courage to Beg. And when Calley said that, Papa said, Why I looked at that poor o’Loonie to see if he was gonna say any thing back but No he just set there with his o’twisted up Face and give a little Smile like he was thinking bout some thing Funny didn’t no body else in the World know.
BY THE TIME WE GOT DOWN THERE to the opre house, Papa said, Why they was hunderds a’People a’crowding in to hear what o’Pelo got to say bout the Devil burning his Face off for him and we had to find us a place to set way back in the Back. You ain’t gonna shoot him from way back here are you, Papa said. Oh No, Calley said, I wanna hear what he got to say first. Oh and then here come Pela Rosa out on the Stage, Papa said, and She went to singing Amazing Grace How Sweet is the Sound and me and Calley and ever body else in there just went to singing right long with her cause that was ever body’s Favorite and still is, he said, and o’Calley was so took by the Sight a’her after all this time Why he had to wipe his Eyes dry with his Bandana to get over it and after that, Papa said, he wrapped that Silver Locket up in it good and tight and give a Boy a nickle to run down there and put it on the Floor to where Pela could see it was a Present for her from Some body or other and then some Man a’setting behind us hollered Hey Lady I thought you was gonna Dance I thought you was gonna Dance and Calley give the Man a Look back over his Back and said You the one gonna be Dancing here in a minute Mister you don’t Hush and be Quiet. I don’t know what makes you think you the Big Boss round here the Man said, Papa said, and when he said that Why o�
��Calley just reached round back there and pinched the Man’s Nose so hard he Tooted and both his Feets come up off the Floor. Think you can behave you self now Mister, Calley said, and the Man nodded so he let the Man’s Nose go and turned back round just in Time to see Pela Rosa pick up her Present from off the Floor and go set down in a chair with it. Oh and then here come o’Red Face out on the Stage, Papa said, and all the People O-ed and Ah-ed then drawed back in they Seats and covered they Eyes up cause they ain’t never seen Nobody look this Ugly in all they Life and wadn’t likely to ever again neither. Get ready, Calley said, that Ugly o’Red Face Son of a Bitch is bout to tell these People that Story he stole off a’you. But, Papa said, what o’Pelo tole em in sted was I wanna tell yall a Story I got off a Boy who went down to Hell one Night in his Dream to see what become a’his mean o’Daddy and it changed my Life to hear what he said and I believe it’s a’gonna change Your Life too when I tell it to you here in just a minute.
WELL WHAT YOU THINK BOUT THAT Mister Pearsall, Papa said, I bet you didn’t never xpect him to own up like that did you. No Sir I didn’t, Calley said, but let’s just set tight and see where he goes with it from here fore we go to making him a Angel or some thing. Next thing, Papa said, was o’Pelo said Of all the Things that Boy tole me bout Hell that night the Thing scared Me most was Oncet you down there don’t matter a Lick how much you want to Right a Wrong you done when you was up here Why you just wadn’t able to come back and do it. No Sir you just down there til Kingdom Come a’setting on that Flat Rock and even if now you Sorry Sorry Sorry for ever one a’the Bad Things you ever done in your Life you just can’t come back up here and make em Right again like some other People can who wadn’t near Bad as you was and that’s Hell ain’t it Mister, he said. Yes Sir, o’Pelo said, That’s Hell with the Lid off ain’t it. And Oh, Papa said, when he said that Why this big o’Wave a’Fear come a’washing up over ever body in there like a Flood cause ever body went to counting up all the Bad Things they done in they Life and now they was fraid they wadn’t never gonna have nough Time left in they Life to make em Right again fore they up and Died. Then, Papa said, o’Pelo told em bout all the Bad Things he done in his own Life ever since my Daddy and them other Cow Boys Hanged his Daddy off a limb that night and how he went round Hanging People after that to get Even for it but now here lately he just been a’going round trying to do Good while he was still here in this World cause oncet you down there in Hell Mister, he said, you just ain’t got another Chance do you. And then, Papa said, he said Another reason he was a’going round trying to do Good now was cause he figgured if he done enough Good Why then maybe they might knock off enough a’the Bad Things he done in his Life to where he wouldn’t have to stay down there in Hell no moren just a year or two at the most and then they just might give him another Chance to come on back up here and do Better next Time. And then o’Pelo told em they might wanna consider going round doing Good they self fore it was Too Late Too Late Too Late but he wadn’t gonna make no Promises even if they did. And bout the time o’Pelo said that, Papa said, I seen Pela open up Calley’s Bandana and come out with that Silver Locket had the Pitchur a’me and o’Calley a’wearing our new John B Stetson Hats in it. Oh and when she seen who it was in the Pitchur, Papa said, Why her Face become the Saddest Face you ever did see in your Life and she went to looking for us everwheres out there with the People but No Sir we was too far back in the Back to see and she couldn’t do it but she smiled a Tear and blowed out two Kisses any how, he said, One for o’Calley and the other One for me I reckon. And then ever body Whooped and come up on they Feets when o’Pelo finished what he had to say and when they set back down again to where you could see, Papa said, Why Pela Rosa just wadn’t there no wheres to be Seen but Calley said he bet she was gonna come find us in the Crowd now and we oughta just set tight here a few minutes. So we just set tight there til they wadn’t nobody left in the Place cep Me and o’Calley and bout ten Helpers a’sweeping the Cigars and whatnot up off the Floor, Papa said, but Pela didn’t never come round at all. I recall you a’saying you was feeling Sorry for me here a’while ago, Calley said, You rememeber a’saying that. Yes Sir I do remember a’saying that I said, Papa said. Well o’Calley said, I reckon you can Feel Sorry for me now if you still want to.
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