“Gave up?” Tenley asked disbelievingly, pulling out of his hands and taking a step back away from him. “Is that what you think I did?”
“What else am I supposed to think? Everyone was scrambling around trying to figure out how to get back on course or how we were going to contact mission control, but not you. You were just resigned to being here and didn’t care about whether we ever got away.”
“Everyone was scrambling because our ship had just smashed into the ground. People were dead. There was blood and broken glass and twisted metal everywhere. The sky was black with smoke and fires as far as we could see. Don’t you remember any of that? Don’t you remember how terrifying it was when we realized that the ship’s control was gone and that we were just hurtling toward the ground? We didn’t know if we were going to survive the next ten minutes much less the next day or week or month. When we had crashed and we made it out of the ship, all that mattered to me was that we were both breathing. I couldn’t think about the mission anymore. The mission didn’t matter. It was over. It was gone. Our pilot was dead. Our friends were dead. Our ship was destroyed. What did matter was figuring out what we were going to do next. I didn’t give up. I kept going. You were thinking about the past and going backwards. I was making sure that we would have a future.” She drew in a shaking breath. “Now you want to throw all of that away.”
“I don’t want to throw anything away,” Michael said, some of the softness coming back to his voice. “That’s not what I’m doing. I know how hard you worked to make sure that we got the settlement in place and that we all could get back into as normal a life as possible. But I always thought that you wanted to get back to Earth as much as I did.”
“There was a time when I did,” Tenley admitted. “Once we were settled into life and life seemed like life again, I started thinking about going back to Earth and being able to pursue all of those plans that we talked about, things that we never would have been able to do on Uoria. Then we got married. We found out about the Mikana and life became easier and more comfortable. A few years passed. This became home and I stopped thinking about Earth. The only time that it ever really crossed my mind was when you were talking about it. I knew it was something that you wanted so much and I couldn’t bring myself to ask you to stop talking about it. So, I listened to you. I shared your thoughts and your dreams, and I talked about what I thought it might be like if we were there. But I never thought that it would happen. We had already tried everything that we could think of to communicate with Earth or to get off of the planet. Even the Mikana couldn’t help us. We didn’t know about the Denynso. There was nothing that we could do and I didn’t see any point is us continuing to try so hard. It was just wasting the life that we had trying to think of a way to get to a life that we might have had if things had turned out differently.”
“And now?”
“It hasn’t changed. The thought of going back to Earth doesn’t excite me. It doesn’t make happy. It terrifies me. What is the planet like now? What will they think or say or do when they find out that we are who we are? We have no idea what the military or the government are like now. Maybe they won’t want the public to find out anything about us and what happened to us, and they will take steps to make sure that they never do. Here, we know what to expect. Here, we know where we are and what life is like. Here, we’re safe.”
“That’s just the thing,” Michael said. “We aren’t. We aren’t safe. We don’t know what to expect. We didn’t know what to expect when the Covra came and we didn’t know what to expect when the Denynso came. We didn’t know what to expect when Rain came back. Life here isn’t any more predictable than life on Earth, it’s just smaller. We have a chance to get out of this settlement and back to the mission that we thought we were going on in the first place. You heard what Rain had to say about the war that is on Penthos. What’s happening right now has been going on since before we ever left Earth. This is about us just as much as it is about any of the rest. Don’t you want justice? Don’t you want to make sure that everyone who is responsible for this is held accountable?”
“Us being here is what really brought us together,” Tenley said. “If we didn’t crash here, I don’t know if you ever would have wanted to settle down. You might have never figured out a time when you thought you were ready to stop traveling and create a home together. What happens if we leave? If we go right back to Penthos and to whatever is waiting there, what is going to happen to us? And Penthos—do you really want to go back there? Don’t you remember what happened when we were first there? It was horrible. I don’t ever want to see that place again. I don’t want to remember what I saw there any more clearly than I already do. How could you?”
“Because I have always carried with me the horror that we ran away. We didn’t accomplish what we went there to do. When we left Earth it was with the intention of getting to Penthos, finding out as much as we could about the prison colony, and making a show of strength so that we could then mobilize a rescue effort that would free the prisoners and bring the guilty species into custody to be dealt with by the Intergalactic Committee. Instead, we got there and we panicked and then we fled.”
“We freed some of the prisoners,” Tenley protested.
“Yes, a few. But what good did it really do? Rain has already told us that when the Earth military went back to Penthos there was no sign of anyone there. No one. Not the people running the prison colony. Not the prisoners. No one. Those prisoners obviously didn’t get away. I don’t know what happened to them, but it seems to me that us getting them out of their chains didn’t really do them much good. All we did for them was make them fight for themselves again. Then we abandoned them. We just left them.”
“We didn’t just leave them. We followed protocol. We weren’t equipped to handle an assault to that magnitude. That was always the plan, and you know it. We wanted to go there and make a difference, but we knew that if things started to get too intense and dangerous that we were to get back into our ship and immediately reach out to mission control for reinforcements. We had no way of knowing that the Valdicians were going to sabotage our ship and compromise our communication and control systems. That was something that we couldn’t prepare for and that wasn’t our fault. We did what we had to do.”
“And countless people suffered because of it. You might feel differently, but I can’t stand the thought of everything that happened because we left when we did. If we had stood our ground, things might have been different. Mission control would have figured out that we hadn’t responded and would have sent exploratory teams or reached out to roaming guard ships and directed them to us for help. We could have kept the Valdicians there rather than letting them get back to Earth and start all of this.”
“You don’t know that,” Tenley said. “The Valdicians were able to convince the humans that did come to create an alliance and begin the experiments. Who’s to say that they wouldn’t have done that to any of the teams that might have arrived?”
“No one,” Michael relented. “But we don’t know. The point is that we didn’t try then and now we have the chance to make it right. We can’t just throw that chance away.”
“I don’t want to be thrown away either.”
“Tenley. I could never do that. I would never just put you aside. Marrying you wasn’t something that I did because I had to. It wasn’t something that I did because we ended up here and I had no other choice. You’re right. I was wild when we were on Earth and the thought of settling down and not traveling wasn’t something that I ever contemplated. But that doesn’t mean that I thought any less of you. Any time that I thought of the next mission or the next journey, you were always right there with me. That hasn’t changed. Me loving you isn’t reliant on us being disconnected from the rest of existence or having our lives taken from us in the way that they were. I love you.” He stepped up to her again and looked deeply into her eyes. He leaned forward and touched his lips onto each of her eyelids as she closed
them. “I love your eyes for everything that they’ve seen and the way that when they look at me I know exactly what you are thinking and feeling.” He kissed either cheek. “I love your face for being the most comforting thing that I saw the entire time that we were on the StarCity and every single day after, and for being what I want to see every morning and every night for the rest of my life.” He kissed her lips and she pressed hers against his, seeking the familiarity of his taste. “I love your lips for the sound of your laugh, for every time that you tell me that you love me, and for always being the one to tell me the things that I need to hear.” He brushed his lips across each of her earlobes. “I love your ears for listening to me when I need so much just to let everything that is inside me out and for never making me feel as though I should be embarrassed for it.”
“Michael…” Tenley breathed, but she felt his fingertip touch her lips.
“Shh,” he said. “I’m not done.” He touched a kiss to the spot just above her heart and she felt herself shiver with the feeling. “I love your heart for the incredible beauty that is there, and the strength. The courage. The determination. The love.” He ran his hands down her arms from her shoulders and intertwined their fingers to lift both hands in front of him so he could kiss the back of each. “I love your arms and your hands for always being there to hold me when I need it, and all of the times that you have been able to manage the work of three people when others around you were giving up.” Michael lowered himself to his knees in front of her and gently moved her shirt up and out of the way so that he could access the skin of her stomach. He ran a trail of kissed from her chest bone down the center of her stomach to her navel, where he let the tip of his tongue dip briefly before looking up at her. “I love your body for everything that it has been able to accomplish and everything else that it will do. I love you not because we’re hidden away from everything or because of all of the danger and challenges that we’ve faced, but in spite of it. I will go on loving you no matter what we do. As long as we are together, that’s all we need.”
Chapter Three
Rain rose up in her seat and glanced back over her shoulder to check on the progress of the other vehicles. She had only arrived back at the Mikana kingdom a few hours before and had taken just enough time to eat and take a short rest before gathering up people who were willing to help pilot the other vehicles back to the settlement to collect the rest of those who had committed to coming with her back to Penthos. The other vehicles were at a slight distance from her but still close as they moved swiftly across the planet. It was reassuring to see that Athan hadn’t fallen out of their formation. Though they hadn’t given her enough details to tell her what was really happening, Creia, Ellora, and Kyven had told her enough that she knew that they were in serious danger. Knowing this, she had hesitated to accept Athan’s offer to help her bring the rest from the settlement. She didn’t want to put him at any higher risk than he already was, but he had convinced her that it was that risk that made him the ideal person to go along with her. The people who were coming after him were the same people who had kept those vehicles hidden before he stole them. They already knew that he was the one who had stolen them. Going with her wouldn’t put him at any further risk except putting him out in the open, which he didn’t feel was much more of a risk with the other vehicles close to him. Anyone else who was piloting one of the vehicles, however, was also in danger. She had accepted that danger when she first took the vehicle to go to the settlement. He didn’t want to pass along the risk to anyone else if he didn’t have to.
They were nearing the settlement and Rain felt the bubbling of nerves in her belly. It was all getting so close. Once they had everyone who was willing to go along with them, they would go back to the kingdom and train for their return to Penthos. There had been no turning back for some time now, but there was a tremendous sense of finality in this step of the process. As they approached the settlement and she saw the people milling around in the center street, corralled close to the front of the village by the massive stone wall that bisected the street, she missed Lynx more than ever before. She wished that he could be there with her, helping her through this, but she knew that he was where he needed to be just as much as she made the right decision in coming back to Uoria. She was the only one who would be able to pilot the ship properly and the lives of those who were aboard relied on her to get them to the safety and the medical treatment that they needed, while those on Penthos needed her to gather the supplies and the reinforcements that would strengthen them in their fight.
Their vehicles swept through the gate and came to a stop several yards away from the crowd. They climbed out and headed toward the people closest to them.
“Is everyone ready?” Rain asked.
“There are still some who say that they want to go but who haven’t come down yet,” Gideon said. “They shouldn’t be long.”
“Do you know how many people are coming?” Rain asked. “Will we be able to transfer everyone in these vehicles?”
“Excuse me.”
Rain turned around and saw Sara stalking toward her with long, determined strides. She carried a basket on her hip and inside Rain saw a mound of fruit freshly picked from the orchard at the far side of the settlement. Her face was tense and angry, and she seemed to be keeping her focus away from Rain, choosing to look into the distance instead.
“Thank you, Sara,” Rain said. “All of the supplies that we can bring with us will be a help.”
Sara pulled the basket back toward herself and turned her eyes toward Rain.
“This isn’t for you,” Sara said, her voice almost sinister in its slow, controlled tone. “This is for my family. I can’t imagine that you need much more help than you already have.”
Without another word, Sara turned and Rain watched the other woman stomp away from her, heading back to the village.
“Don’t let her bother you,” Gideon said.
“What’s wrong with her?” Rain asked.
“She isn’t responding well to those of us who have decided to leave. She isn’t the only one.”
“Why?” Rain asked. “All of us would have left in a second if we had had the opportunity when we first crashed. It might have been a long time ago, but we have the chance now. What’s wrong with taking that chance?”
“Like you said, it’s been a long time since we crashed here. Families have formed here that didn’t exist before. Children have been born. A lot of those people are comfortable here and can’t imagine their lives if they tried to go back.”
“I can understand that,” Rain said. “I can get that there are some people who would rather stay here because they’ve gotten used to it, or they have children that they want to raise where they were born and not confuse them by trying to integrate them into Earth society, but what about the rest of us? What’s wrong with us taking advantage of the opportunity that’s been given to us? With trying to finish what we started?”
“They feel betrayed,” Gideon said. “They feel that we built this all together and that leaving it behind is dishonoring everything that we worked hard to accomplish and that we built, discovered, and experienced here. We’ve been on this planet far longer than we were on Earth and to them that means that we belong here.”
Rain took a step back, wanting to be able to see everyone gathered in front of her better. She scanned the crowd, taking in the faces of the people who had come to her, who were willing to face the danger and uncertainty of Penthos again. Most were etched with the years that they had been there, changed from what she had seen in the halls of the University and in the StarCity as they traveled, but still holding a glimmer of that hope and determination, the drive that they had all felt when they were preparing for this journey. There were a few, though, their numbers small but pronounced in the group, that looked almost impossibly young to her. These were the faces of the first children to be born on Uoria. One was Jason, a boy born to a mother who didn’t yet know she was pregnant when s
he went in for her final examination before the journey to Penthos. Rain could remember the angry, heated argument that his mother had had with the head of the team on Earth. They wanted to rescind her permission to be a part of the Nyx 23 program and not allow her to go on the mission because they felt that it was too risky in that condition. Lauria had refused to accept that. She fought hard against them, insisting that she had been able to pass all of the rigorous tests and exams that had been required just to be a part of the department itself, and then the further ones that enabled you to secure a place on the Nyx 23 team. Even pregnant she had been healthier and stronger than many of the other people, and had proven herself capable of handling what they anticipated would be waiting for them on the journey ahead. They had no way of knowing that rather than being gone only the few weeks that they had planned, she would never have the opportunity to experience her pregnancy on Earth and would bring the first baby into their number months after they built their settlement.
Now Jason was standing in front of her, growing quickly into a man. After the century of being locked by the Covra, he was still only just over 16 years old, a year older than the other three who were dispersed throughout the crowd. She was proud of them for standing up, ready to give of themselves for the cause that brought their parents to the only home that they ever knew, and face the uncertainty of visiting the planet that they had heard about their entire lives but had likely never even hoped that they would be able to see. Despite this, she knew that they were far too young to make that decision for themselves. They didn’t understand what they were really facing and the gravity of the choice that they were making by leaving the settlement behind. She knew that she couldn’t bring them to Penthos with her and put them in such incredible danger. For now, she would bring them to the kingdom and give them an opportunity to experience something more than just the small village where they were born and raised. She would introduce them to Creia, the warriors, and the rest, and let the Creia and Rey decide what they would do from there. In her heart she hoped that they would stay in the Kingdom while they were on Penthos and then they could return to Uoria and make plans to go to Earth.
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