by Linda Huber
Derek led them along the corridor to a two-bedded room with blue and green duvet covers and a lovely view over the garden. Identical ducks were swimming around the pond looking lively. Would her father watch them? Probably not. Jenny was out there too, playing a hopping game on the path beside the rose bed.
‘Frank Carter said religion was important to your Dad, so we put him in this room because you can see the church tower from here,’ said Derek, leading her father to a chair by the vacant bed.
Christ. What a lovely gesture for a poisonous old man who...
‘Aaah! Aaah! Ha ha!’
Her father’s eyes were wide open, fixed on her face. He struggled to his feet, his good hand grabbing her wrist in a crushing grip, and Alicia fought to release herself. He had obviously twigged that he was here to stay. Thank God Jenny was outside. Doug came to her rescue and stood there almost cuddling her father while Derek produced a sedative. For a few minutes the old man struck out at anyone close enough to hit, then sank back into the chair, his expression softening and his breathing returning to normal. Alicia closed her eyes in relief.
‘What exactly can he understand?’ said Derek, leading her to one side.
Alicia bit her lip. ‘It’s difficult to say. I don’t think he understands speech, maybe just the odd word. He doesn’t cooperate when you try to communicate with signs, either. But he sometimes has a sort of flash when he seems to understand situations, so I guess he might understand that he’s here to stay.’
But of course he understood what was happening to him. He had understood that she was staying in his house again, and he had understood enough to mock her, too. All she wanted to do now was get away from him, get back to the house. Doug put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed.
Derek left then, and Alicia sat watching a nurse called Katy arrange her father’s things, appreciating the fact that Doug stayed with her, chatting about some of the activities the patients were involved in until he was called away to deal with some upset in Ward Three.
‘He’s marvellous with people,’ said Katy. ‘The patients love him.’
‘I can imagine. He makes you feel as if everyone here’s part of the family,’ said Alicia.
Katy nodded. ‘He’s really big on helping families. He lost his wife in an accident a few years ago, maybe that’s why.’
A little shock ran through Alicia. Poor Doug. She would never have guessed. What tragedies people carry around with them sometimes, and no-one is any the wiser, she thought sadly. Jenny appeared below the window, and Alicia beckoned her in. The little girl seemed more relaxed now, and explored her grandfather’s new home while Alicia helped Katy lay him down for a rest. He closed his eyes and slept as soon as he was horizontal, and Alicia stood watching him for a moment.
That was that, then. There was nothing to keep her here now.
Ten minutes later she was walking out of St. Joe’s, leaving her father behind. A strange mixture of feelings was churning around in her gut as she drove back to Lower Banford, but if she was honest, the sense of freedom was the greatest.
How strangely silent the house was without her father’s throaty breathing in the background. Jenny took Conker and Moritz up to the woods for half an hour, and Alicia walked from room to room, looking at her childhood home with new eyes. It almost felt as if her father had died. What on earth would she do with all this stuff? The grandfather clock? Mum’s collection of china birds? They were family things, heirlooms, but she certainly didn’t want them.
In the living room she sank down on the sofa and buried her face in her hands. The relief that someone else was responsible for her father now was almost paralysing.
And it was only now, when she didn’t have to look after him anymore, that she could allow herself to dwell on the extent of the abuse. Was that what the flashbacks were about? Had he been sexually abusive? Had he touched her? Had he used that to punish her? But wouldn’t she remember? Maybe not, her nurse’s training told her. But they would survive. They would get through this, her and Jen.
If only they were part of a real, big, loving family, she thought. Something like The Waltons, where everyone helped everyone else and they all called out goodnight. How wonderful it would be to have someone to care for her like that. Maybe, if she got to know Doug better... that was a very attractive thought, and it might well come to pass, but up until now it had actually been Frank doling out the support. She thought of the two men and her two coffee invites, and smiled faintly before frowning. How strange, both Frank and Doug had lost their wives in accidents. But then, strange and tragic things happened every day. It was a cruel world.
The phone rang, and she jumped to her feet. Kenneth Taylor’s high voice greeted her.
‘Mrs Bryson, I’m so glad I caught you. I wanted to ask after your father, and apologise too for frightening your little girl the other day when you were collecting the cat and she almost touched my bloody hand. I’ve been meaning to say sorry for a while now.’
Alicia choked back a laugh. ‘Oh, my father’s in St. Joe’s now, he’s fine,’ she said. ‘And please don’t worry about Jenny, she quite understood.’
‘Super. And I can assure you that your father will be well taken care of at St. Joe’s. My old neighbour’s there, I pop by to see her quite often and she’s very happy. But that’s not why I phoned. Thing is, Mrs Bryson, I’ve got a new little cat family here, Mum and four kittens just three weeks old, and I wondered if Jenny would like to come and see them sometime?’
‘She’d love that,’ said Alicia immediately. ‘We’re on our way out now, and I’m not sure that we’ll have time this evening what with visiting my father... how about tomorrow morning?’
Kenneth Taylor agreed gushingly, and they rang off. Alicia shook herself. It had been a kind thought, and although he wasn’t Mr Universe he seemed to be a caring person, even visiting a neighbour he couldn’t have known long. Of course maybe it was someone he’d known when he was a boy, he’d mentioned once he’d grown up nearby, hadn’t he? Yet in spite of the sensitivity he’d shown a couple of times it was difficult to warm to the man. There was something about him she couldn’t put her finger on, something odd. And Jenny would probably want to visit him and his wretched cats every single day from now on, and she’d want to go by herself, too. Was she happy with that? No, she thought resignedly. Oh, well, they could fight that battle another day. Right now it was time for lunch and her daughter was running up the garden right on cue. Hamburgers here we come.
The Stranger
So it was going to be Plan B. Plan B was more complicated, but the beautiful thing about it was the control. This time he’d have almost complete control over who was where, when and with whom. He’d be able to fix things so that big Helen – and her aunt if necessary – were called to see the old man, leaving him plenty of time to meet little Helen in the woods... He would put it all into writing that evening, just to make sure he had covered all the bases.
When he was sure the plan was foolproof, he would have to choose what day to put the whole thing into action, and there were two things to think about there. One was the weather, of course, trips to the woods required sunshine, or at the very least no rain. The other thing to consider was timing. Whether the weekend would be better, when more visitors would be milling around at St. Joe’s, making it easier for him to do his own thing under cover of all the weekend activity, or during the week, when fewer prying eyes were around. He would have to think about that.
The forecast for the next two days was poor, so he would have to wait anyway. While the waiting was frustrating, in a funny way he was learning to enjoy it, the delicious suspense and anticipation. And the biggest advantage of all about Plan B was the fact that he’d have so much longer to enjoy little Helen before he sent her to Paradise. He could anticipate a lovely long time with her right here at home. And there was something very important he hadn’t bought yet, too... a golden, sacrificial robe for his little Queen of Fairies...
His day was
still well within grasp. His perfect day.
Alicia
It was nearly three o’clock when they arrived home from Merton, the car full of groceries and Jenny happy with her hamburger lunch and balloon on a stick. She ran through to the living room and stuck it into a copper lustre vase which Alicia knew for a fact was valuable, but what the hell. The vase would be joining the grandfather clock, the china bird collection and a whole lot of other stuff in some kind of second-hand shop. Antique, junk or charity, who knew? Alicia didn’t, and she didn’t care, either.
‘Can we go for a picnic in the woods now?’ said Jenny, eyeing a packet of almond slices.
Alicia grinned. At last Jen was having a really good day. Which was only right, she’d been so cooperative about playing by herself in the garden or the woods ever since they’d arrived in Lower Banford. It was lovely to be able to indulge her child at last.
‘Of course we can. Then we’ll just have fruit and yogurt for tea before we pop back to check Grandpa’s okay. And afterwards we’ll make pancakes.’
Jenny was fizzing with excitement, and Alicia watched her rootling round the kitchen, packing a selection of treats into Margaret’s wicker basket. Had Jen taken in the part about visiting Grandpa? It would just be a quick check so that she could put Margaret’s mind at rest, and Jen could stay in the hospital garden again if she wanted to.
‘Come on, Mummy! Let’s go!’
Amused, Alicia followed on down the garden and up the path into the woods, Jenny pausing only to pick some raspberries for the basket. Conker ran on ahead, closely followed by Jenny. Alicia was hard pushed to keep up.
‘We’re nearly there, Mummy! The palace is just up here. Oh, Doctor Frank! Look Mummy, it’s Doctor Frank!’
Alicia entered the clearing to see Frank sitting on a fallen tree trunk, a black and white collie dog jumping about beside him. He rose to greet them, his face alive with pleasure. The collie bounded over to Conker, and in no time the two animals were barking excitedly and tearing round the trees, Jenny chasing after them.
‘Well! Who’s your friend, then?’ said Alicia, and Frank grimaced.
‘You won’t believe it but I don’t even know the creature’s name. He belongs to the woman along the road, I helped them this morning when her two-year-old fell and broke his arm. They’ve gone to the hospital in Merton and I’ve been left holding the um, baby, so to speak.’
Alicia settled down beside him on the fallen tree, watching as Jenny tried to keep up with the two dogs. After a couple of rounds of the clearing she darted over to Alicia and Frank.
‘Is he your dog? What’s his name?’ she said, panting, and Alicia laughed aloud at the expression on Frank’s face.
‘His name’s Dog,’ he said firmly. ‘And no, he’s my neighbour’s.’
Jenny stared. ‘Dog!’ Her mouth was as round as her eyes, and Alicia wiped tears from her eyes, aware that she hadn’t laughed like this in Lower Banford since she and Cathal O’Brian had played in this very clearing.
‘When I was little, I had a friend and his uncle had a cat called ‘Cat’,’ Jenny said, opening the picnic basket. ‘But the vet said they couldn’t call it that so they always called it ‘Herbie’ at the vet’s... Would you like some fizzy orange, Doctor Frank?’
‘Sounds good, if there’s enough,’ he said, leaning forward eagerly, and Alicia was suddenly touched by how pleased he was to be with them.
‘There’s lots. I packed the basket,’ said Jenny. ‘We’re having brilliant food today. We had hamburgers for lunch, you know.’
‘Yum, lucky you,’ said Frank. ‘Did Grandpa settle into St. Joe’s alright, then?’
Alicia looked at him and frowned. She didn’t want Jenny to hear how her father had grabbed her arm and shouted.
‘They, um, gave him a pill and he was fine after that,’ she said, and he glanced at her. Jenny ran off with the dogs again, and Alicia continued in a low voice.
‘He was quite agitated at first. But it’s such a relief, Frank, not having the responsibility. Doug and the staff were marvellous. I’m going in this evening, Margaret will want the latest news when we phone tonight. But I know he’ll be fine.’
‘I’ll see him tomorrow,’ said Frank, accepting a plastic cup of fizzy orange. ‘But you’re right, he’ll be really well looked after.’
‘Have some apricots,’ said Alicia, offering the bag to Frank as Jenny flopped down on the grass at their feet again. ‘There’s rasps from the garden as well but they were an in-passing decision so they’re not washed. And chocolate biscuits and cheesy sticks and almond slices. And I don’t want to hear a single word about balanced meals, please.’
He laughed. They sat talking about holiday food and favourite restaurants, even Jenny joining in the conversation, and Alicia felt more carefree than she had since... well, for a very long time. Jenny was feeding both dogs with the snacks she’d brought for Conker, and Alicia noticed Frank smiling as he watched.
‘It’s kind of part of everyone’s life dream, isn’t it?’ he said as the chasing game continued round the clearing. ‘Cats, dogs, kids, partner. Not in that order of importance, of course.’
Alicia pulled a face. ‘Well, we’re doing okay with the animals. I’ve got a cat and we both have borrowed dogs. But we only have one kid between us, my marriage was a disaster, and I know you lost your wife. I’m so sorry, Frank, it must have been awful.’
‘Nell’s been gone a long time,’ he said briefly. ‘But it’s scary how your life can change in just a second like that. I was glad to take the job here but now I keep wondering if I’ll be stuck in Lower Banford forever, watching summer after summer go by and turning from ‘Doctor Carter’ into ‘Old Doctor Carter’. It’s not what I’d thought would happen.’
Alicia touched his arm quickly. ‘I know. None of this here is what I wanted either. I guess you just have to find the good in whatever life throws at you. I’m so glad to be in contact with you and Sonja again, and maybe one day I’ll get my past sorted out.’
He smiled at her and she thought what sad eyes he had. The picnic in the woods had turned bittersweet. But maybe that was how life was.
The church clock striking five brought the afternoon to an end.
‘Time to go. I want to get the house looking less like a war-zone before we go to St. Joe’s,’ said Alicia, looking at her watch. To her surprise, Frank patted her on the shoulder furthest away from him. It wasn’t quite a hug, but the unexpectedness of it almost made her jump and he stepped back, looking confused.
‘Um... maybe... maybe we could, um... go for another walk with the dogs again sometime? They seem to be bosom buddies now.’
Jenny clapped enthusiastically. ‘Oh yes! We’ll phone you next time we’re going, shall we?’
Frank’s eyes met Alicia’s, and she saw his nervousness. ‘It’s a great idea, Jen, but let Frank phone us. Doctors are busy people.’
She packed up the remains of the picnic, listening as Jenny chattered away to Frank about all the things they were going to do now that Grandpa was safe in St. Joe’s. It was difficult to persuade Conker that Dog lived in the opposite direction, but at last they were off. Alicia turned at the edge of the clearing and looked back. What a forlorn figure Frank looked, standing there talking to a dog whose name he didn’t know. He obviously had as much baggage as she did. Poor Frank.
Chapter Twelve
Alicia
The phone rang while Alicia was upstairs putting the washing away, and she waited a moment for Jenny to answer it. But a bark and a glance outside told her that Jenny and Conker were playing football on the front driveway, so she ran downstairs, hoping it wasn’t Margaret wanting details of a hospital visit that hadn’t yet taken place.
‘Hello?’
‘Alicia, sorry. It’s Doug. Am I interrupting anything?’
‘Not at all,’ she said warmly. ‘I was upstairs putting the house to rights. We’ve been out all day, Jen and I, hamburgers and shopping in Merton and then a picnic in t
he woods.’
Doug laughed. ‘Sounds like a fun day. I bet Jenny enjoyed having you all to herself.’
‘She did, and so did I,’ said Alicia. ‘My father’s alright, I suppose?’
‘He’s fine. I looked in on him ten minutes ago. There’s been no more agitation, in fact he was outside for a bit this afternoon with Katy and some of the other residents, and now they’re all in the dayroom watching TV. I wondered if you were coming in this evening?’
‘Yes, about sevenish,’ she said. ‘I’m expecting Margaret to phone tonight, and I want to be able to give her the latest about how he’s doing.’
‘Great, and how about having that coffee afterwards? I’ve got a super machine right here in my office, and we could have a chat about anything you want to know about St. Joe’s.’
‘That would be lovely. I do have some questions, actually. Shall we just come down after visiting?’
‘I’ll be waiting,’ he said, and she thought how warm his voice sounded. Dark brown, like his eyes.
‘Bye, then,’ she said, breaking the connection. Well. That would make a very pleasant end to the day. It wasn’t quite going out for a coffee, but it would still be... interesting. Even with Jen tagging along. And now she’d better go and sort out something to wear, because a pink t-shirt and picnic-in-the-woods jeans weren’t quite what she wanted to wear for an almost-date with Doug.
A grey and white V-neck top and her new black jeans fitted the bill rather well, and Alicia walked into the ward aware that she was looking forward to seeing Doug again. Derek Thorpe was sitting at the nurses’ station, and he waved her over.
‘Your Dad’s been fine all day,’ he said, closing the file in front of him.
‘Good,’ said Alicia. ‘It’s such a relief to have him here, I really feel like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Thank you all so much.’
‘Just doing our job,’ said Derek. ‘Doug asked if young Jenny here would like to help the nurses while you and he have a talk after visiting. Give you more scope for a proper discussion.’ He winked at Jenny.