AJ Mirag - Clippings

by Clippings (lit)

  He used the toilet, washed his hands, and stepped out of the bathroom.

  Feeling accomplished, he passed through the Harmony Park gates and walked toward downtown. He had lunch at one of his favorite restaurants, a Japanese sushi bar. He had missed sushi and sashimi in prison. He wondered if Mephisto liked Japanese food.

  They had seldom talked about things they couldn't get in prison;

  neither he nor Mephisto liked to talk about inaccessible things. He knew Mephisto liked lasagna and feijoada because those were dishes they could make in prison, buying products in the small market run by the prisoners or “clipping” the beans included in the meals they were given. He also knew Mephisto's favorite fruit and cookies.

  After lunch, Daniel went shopping things for Mephisto: a jar of peanut butter, a box of chocolates, a new bath towel, wool slippers to keep his feet warm... (He loved Mephisto's feet, his slender toes, and the high curve of his arch.) He wouldn't have to buy Mephisto a coat:

  Daniel had left him one of his own. He had also left his sheets and blankets.

  On Wednesday, Daniel went downtown again and called the Professor from a public phone. The Professor told him that Mephisto was fine, and that Daniel had to go to the Ministry of Justice to get the visitation permit. Daniel was lucky, for the Ministry was just a few blocks away.

  On Thursday, Daniel couldn't hold himself back anymore. He missed Mephisto so much that it hurt. He called the Professor in the morning and asked to talk to Mephisto. The Professor told him to call again in five minutes. When Daniel did that, Mephisto answered the phone.

  “Hello?”

  “Hi, Vlado. How are you?”

  “I'm fine. Are you okay?”

  “Yes... Except that... I miss you. A lot.” There was silence for a while, and then Daniel spoke again, “Vlado?”

  “I miss you too, brat.”

  Daniel let out his breath, relieved. “I'm coming to see you on Saturday. I've got the visitation permit. Do you need anything?”

  “No. Just you,” answered Mephisto, his voice hoarse and uneven.

  “I'll bring chow, okay?”

  “As long as you’re the dessert,” said Mephisto. It was a private joke between them, since Daniel had disclosed to Mephisto what Josiah had told him on Daniel’s first day in the Detention House.

  “Vlado, I'm in the middle of Independence Square, surrounded by a crowd. If you keep talking to me like that, with that sexy voice of yours, I'll disgrace myself,” warned Daniel.

  “Take care, brat. Don't worry about me.”

  “See you on Saturday, then.”

  _________

  On the weekend, with the visitation permit and a giant jumbo in his hands, Daniel returned to the Detention House. He knew how long the wait in line could be, so he arrived a few minutes before 7

  AM, when the guards would start letting the visitors in (visiting hours were from 7 AM to 4 PM). The line was already long. There were dozens of poor women carrying babies in their arms and surrounded by toddlers. Some of them had brought folding chairs and were comfortably seated. Others were talking cheerfully while their children played together. Daniel put the jumbo on the ground and braced himself for a long wait.

  Two hours later he was allowed in. He had to submit to a search, like everybody else. The official who searched him was Sarará. The blond official joked about Daniel being Mephisto's chicken and made a point of touching and groping every inch of Daniel's body. He even probed Daniel's “suitcase,” bragging that he “wouldn't let any safe12

  get in.” Daniel endured the humiliation with a stoicism he wouldn't have been capable of a few months ago.

  The Professor received him in the Garden of Eden. “Welcome, Daniel! I knew you’d be able to fulfill the mission I entrusted you, and that you’d come to visit us.”

  “Fulfilling the 'mission' you entrusted me was easier than being searched at the entrance here,” complained Daniel.

  “I know. You must have arrived early. My son is still in the line, I believe.”

  Daniel wondered if all the visitors suffered the same treatment he had been subjected to. He shivered when he thought that his parents might have had to go through that. He didn't want to discuss the details with the Professor, so he just said, “It's not a pleasant experience.”

  “What you did will be very important for me and Mephisto when we get out of here,” said the Professor, in a low voice. “I'm not planning to carry on with my old business. Let's say that I sold my...project...for a considerable sum.”

  “Oh, that's great. Do you think you two can live on it for the rest of your lives?”

  “I believe so. I have already opened a few companies that are being run by people I trust. When we get out of prison, I’ll hire Mephisto and pay him a good salary.”

  “I see... I hope everything turns out well. Speaking of Mephisto...”

  “Oh, of course. You must be as eager to see him as he is to see you. He's so tense that he didn't even have lunch.”

  “Nah, you're exaggerating. He didn't have lunch because I told him I was going to bring something.”

  The Professor narrowed his eyes at him. “All right, but I know my friend, and I know when he's tense. Come with me. Let's go inside and upstairs.”

  “Is that allowed?”

  “I have already talked to the Cleaners. Officially, you’re my guest, but in reality you’ll spend the day in Mephisto's shack.”

  “Can't we get in trouble for that?”

  “I don't think we will, but yes, we can. We’ll only be safe when Congress recognizes the right to same sex unions. Then you’ll be able to request intimate visits. In some Argentinian and Mexican prisons, homosexual prisoners are already entitled to intimate visits. Three months ago, the lesbian convicts of a female prison of São José do Rio Preto, in São Paulo State, were given permission to receive intimate visits. But here in the Detention House the old, stupid rules are still in place. Until the law changes, we have to do things our way...”

  _________

  As Daniel entered the block, the foul smell of the Detention House surrounded him. He found it odd that in just nine days he could have become unused to that smell. The idea that he was already changing and that soon he would have adapted to the life outside made him feel even worse.

  The Professor left him in front of Mephisto's shack, and Daniel went through the door with his heart pounding in his chest.

  Mephisto's somber expression brightened the moment his eyes fell upon Daniel. They made their way to each other into the narrow shack and embraced. Daniel melted into his arms. That was where he belonged. He would never get unused to that.

  They undressed each other on their way to bed, between kisses and caresses. Nine days of abstinence made them more passionate than ever, but Mephisto surprised him, enfolding him in his tenderness. Mephisto kissed his eyelids, traced his lips with his forefinger, and brushed his knuckles on Daniel’s face. He made Daniel moan by nibbling his earlobe the way Daniel most liked. His pointy, wet tongue circled Daniel's nipples, as if avoiding them, and trailed a wet line down his chest to his navel, which Mephisto lapped and licked thoroughly.

  Daniel marvelled when Mephisto caught his hand in his own and sucked his fingers one by one. Then Mephisto knelt at his feet on the bed and did the same to his toes. Daniel was hard as a rock, and Mephisto hadn't even touched any of Daniel’s strictly erotic parts.

  Mephisto rolled him onto his stomach and massaged his shoulders, then his back and, finally, his buttocks. When skillful fingers slithered between his cheeks, Daniel stopped breathing for a while. Mephisto lay on top of him, and Daniel could hear his heart and his lover’s beating wildly together. Daniel turned over beneath him, and the shock of their naked bodies meeting face to face was so strong that they both groaned at the same time.

  Mephisto played with his nipples for a long while, biting, licking, sucking, and pinching them mercilessly. Daniel took his time, too, letting lips and tongue explore the texture
of Mephisto's chest. He tugged at a few hairs with his teeth, and heard a sharp gasp. While he was busy up there, his hand was exploring Mephisto's stomach, the fine line of hairs leading downwards.

  Mephisto shifted just slightly, trying to urge Daniel's hand lower, and started preparing Daniel with his long, lube-covered fingers.

  Daniel obligingly let his fingers curl around the hard cock, and gently pulled back the foreskin.

  Mephisto hissed. “I want you now.”

  “I'm ready, Vlado.”

  Mephisto spread a layer of lube on his erect cock and, not wasting time, put Daniel's legs on his shoulders and entered him smoothly. Daniel was so excited that he almost came immediately.

  Mephisto stayed motionless for some time.

  “Oh, please,” said Daniel.

  Then Mephisto started moving again, very slowly, and cupped Daniel's cock as he thrust in. He pulled out almost completely and angled his next thrust slightly; Daniel felt a shock of pleasure run through him, and pushed back again. Another thrust, even deeper.

  “You feel so good, Dan.”

  Mephisto withdrew and shoved back in fully. It felt incredible, Mephisto’s cock filling him over and over and his smooth hand pumping him, thumb rubbing over the tip of Daniel’s cock. Daniel felt himself tensing, sensations building up in him until he was gasping with need. The hand on his cock sped up a fraction; the thrusts shifted angle yet again, sending ecstasy spinning through him.

  He abandoned himself to the amazing sensation of their bodies joining as one. Mephisto kept his slow pace, making love to him until both came together.

  Daniel wanted to say something to Mephisto, but words failed him. Then he noticed Mephisto was staring at him with a concerned look.

  “Did I hurt you?” asked Mephisto.

  Daniel snuggled up to him. “On the contrary. This time it was like... I don't know how to explain. It felt like we were as one.”

  Mephisto smiled and embraced him as if he would never let him go. “You have no idea how I missed you. Before you arrived in prison, I lived here alone. I slept alone, and I liked it. But I've grown so accustomed to your presence that, when you left, this place became unbearable. The only way I could stand it was pretending you were here with me. I spent the last nine days talking to an imaginary Daniel. The sheets you left... I didn’t have them washed until yesterday. Your smell in the sheets comforted me at night.”

  “Oh...” Daniel was left speechless for a while. No one had ever told him anything so sensually and physically romantic. “I, too, imagined you were in my bed at night. I missed you a lot, but I didn't lose hope. I knew I'd come back.”

  “You told your parents?”

  “About us? Not yet. I'll try to tell them slowly, gradually. I have already convinced them that it was important for me to come visit my prison friends.”

  “What if the Ministry hadn’t given you permission to come?”

  “Ah, I'd kill a policeman for real, so I’d get arrested again!”

  Mephisto shook his head, then laughed, and Daniel laughed too.

  Then Mephisto peeked inside the jumbo Daniel had left beside the bunk. “Have you gone insane? Who paid for all that? If you keep spending your father's money on me like that, what will they think of me?”

  Mephisto's reaction frightened Daniel. He realized Mephisto was right, to a certain point, but he hadn’t expected that reaction. Daniel had only wanted to make Mephisto's life more comfortable.

  Mephisto put the jumbo down and took Daniel's face between his hands. “I'm sorry. I'm such a jerk. I didn't want to make you sad. I liked everything you brought. Especially the slippers.”

  Daniel felt relieved, but also a bit embarrassed. “Do you think that giving you wool slippers is too gay?”

  Mephisto laughed. “Extremely gay.”

  “But they’re black, your favorite color. They’re discreet and elegant,” objected Daniel.

  “Oh, but the mere fact that you thought of giving me slippers is gay.”

  Daniel shrugged and cuddled up against Mephisto again. “I'm going to find some kind of job next semester, and earn my own money.”

  “Don't do that. If you can live off your parents, do it until you finish your studies.”

  “As I couldn't attend classes this semester, I won't be able to enlist in most second semester subjects. The first semester subjects are prerequisites to almost all the second semester ones,” explained Daniel. “I can work as a freelancer, proofreading, revising and editing books and articles for publishers and newspapers. It will be good for me.”

  “It seems like a good idea. But don't spend too much money on me. You may not believe me, but this is not a happy ending for you,”

  said Mephisto gravely.

  “Why? You're going to be released in eight or nine months. Of course I can be convicted, and that would be bad, but I learned a lot while I was here, I think I can survive. If you come to visit me every weekend.”

  “I'll never leave you alone here. If you're imprisoned again, I'll manage to come back. But that's not what I meant. What I meant was that even if I’m released, if you stay with me you'll see that I'll never be a free man, in spite of what Lucifer might tell you. Lucifer is an optimist. He believes he has guaranteed our future. But everything he has was built with illicit money. So, even when I'm out of prison, my past will never leave me.”

  “Why did the Professor become an acid dealer?”

  Mephisto shrugged. “He said he got tired of working for people who ignored or underestimated his work. He’s a genius. The university’s bureaucracy and low salaries weighed in his decision, but I believe that, deep inside, he enjoys the game, the challenge of doing forbidden things. He likes being in control and manipulating people.

  He’s different from me in that respect. He enjoys the risk, while I’d live a square life, if I could.”

  “But you run more risks than he,” objected Daniel.

  “Yes, but I don’t do that for pleasure. I do that because once you join, there’s no way out. That’s why I’ve always told you not to get involved.”

  “Do you repent for what you did? As a drug dealer, I mean.”

  “No, Father Daniel, I do not repent. I had to survive somehow. I didn’t have many chances. And people have always used drugs, since time immemorial. It's natural for us humans to try to reach other dimensions. We want to open doors to worlds we can't access with our usual five senses. It's true that it's dangerous, and not everyone has the maturity or the mental stability to deal with the drug effects.

  That's why I'd never sell crack or heroin. Pot is a light drug, less dangerous than many legal drugs. I myself like to smoke a joint now and then. As for acid, I only took it three times. You know I'm a control freak. I don't like drugs that take my control away.” Mephisto looked at Daniel fixedly. “All right, Father Daniel, I confess.

  Sometimes I questioned myself about that, about selling a drug that I myself couldn't deal with. That's one of the reasons why I encouraged Lucifer when he started researching Serendipity.”

  “Serendipity?”

  “That's what we called the hallucinogen that Lucifer created. It was still a secret... We weren't exactly advertising it, because, although he had tested its effects on mice, on himself and on some of the people who worked for him, there was still a chance that the drug had a different effect in other people.”

  “Why did you encourage him to create Serendipity?”

  “Because it was a lighter drug than LSD, and because I personally liked its effects. Serendipity enhances your capacity to establish relationships between different things, or facts. It makes you more lucid, more open to new ideas,” explained Mephisto. “At least that was how I felt every time I took it, and from what Lucifer told me, the same happened to him.”

  “How interesting! I almost regret the fact that he has sold the formula.”

  Mephisto frowned. “Lucifer sold the formula, but I'm sure he didn't forget it. If he manages to get out of
here, he'll be able to make it for home consumption. I'm not sure I like the idea of you trying Serendipity, but we may talk about it, one day, if the possibility arises.”

  “It will be great, the three of us out there, and you and I together.” Daniel became thoughtful. “There's something I don't understand. If you don't repent for your past sins,” said he, with a sarcastic edge, “why do you hate so much the idea of using illicit money?”

  “I'm getting old. I don't want to be arrested again, and I wouldn't like to see you involved in anything illegal.”

  “Can't you start over again by yourself, without getting involved in Lucifer's business?”

  Mephisto shook his head. “An ex-convict? An ex-dealer? You're delusional.”

  “Maybe there's a way. Maybe I can help you. Anyway, I don't care. I accept you as you are, with your past and all the problems it may bring to us. Life is never perfect. I can be half your age, but I figured that out already.” Daniel stroked Mephisto's hair. “What there is between us is more important than a perfect life.”

  “This is the most beautiful thing anyone ever said to me, brat.”

  _________

  They had fun taking bath together, and Mephisto dried Daniel with his new towel. Then Mephisto reheated the lasagna Daniel had brought, opened a bottle of wine the Professor had given them to celebrate Daniel's first visit, and they had lunch.

  Afterwards, Daniel tried to find his other friends in the block, but most of them were with their relatives or out of their usual places — on visiting days, everything was different in prison.

  He found Julinho with his mother and sisters in the Garden of Eden. Julinho bounced happily when he saw Daniel and embraced him warmly, but had to divide his attention between Daniel and his relatives. Daniel felt sad when he realized it would be difficult to keep in touch with his former friends in the Detention House.