I’m falling for her the same way I’m falling for Maddox, he admitted silently, floored by the revelation. He’d never had feelings for anyone before. Ever. Never had a relationship, never wanted a steady girlfriend. Part of that was from having gone into the military, where it was next to impossible to start a real relationship—the only guys who had wives or girlfriends were the ones who had them before joining Uncle Sam’s forces. Nobody got into a relationship after donning the uniform unless they were lucky enough to be stationed at a base for a decent interval of time. And since Riley hadn’t found any of the girls in his tiny high school interesting enough to want a relationship while he was still in school, he’d never had the pleasures of a steady partner, then or now.
Yet here he was, desperately wishing this whole thing with Maddox and Amber would become permanent. He had no business trying to start a relationship with one person, much less two. But the more he thought about it, the more he pictured being with the two of them on a permanent basis, the more he wanted it.
And it scared him to the bone.
Riley pushed away from the counter, suddenly extremely uncomfortable with his own thoughts. He cleared his throat, grinned when Amber looked up at him with a happy smile. He couldn’t resist bending down for a sweet kiss, running his fingers through her hair as he sighed.
“I should get going. Maddox is expecting me. I’ll leave you with your new toys, and we’ll see you tonight, okay?”
She nodded. “Looking forward to it.” Her face sobered. “I promise the blinds will stay closed and the door locked, Riley. I won’t take any risks while you guys are gone, I swear.”
He nodded, throat tight. He stole another kiss, then strode from the house, before his wayward hormones could get the best of him.
Riley stopped at his townhouse, got together a couple changes of clothes, his toothbrush, and a few other goodies he thought might come in handy—like the box of condoms he’d purchased on a whim several weeks ago, hoping that if he bought them, he’d have to come up with an excuse to use them. Then he dropped everything at Maddox’s place, smiling to himself as he put his things away. As goofy as it was, he liked the idea of having his own toothbrush in Maddox’s bathroom. Made it all seem more real, somehow.
Yeah, he could definitely get used to this. As scary as it was, he really, truly, desperately wanted to make this whole triad thing work. Only problem was, he had no idea how he was supposed to do that. How the hell was he supposed to make it in a relationship with two people? What the fuck was he supposed to do? Eventually, both of them would realize Riley wasn’t worth the effort and drop his ass like a hot potato. That was inevitable. Still, there had to be a way he could postpone that day as long as possible, make the most of this unusual opportunity while it lasted. Make it count.
But how? Especially when there were things going on under the surface, problems between Maddox and Amber that neither one of them were willing to explain to him? Well, okay, fine, Amber did try to explain it earlier. But even then, he could tell she was holding back. There was something seriously fucked up between the two of them, and Riley had no idea what to do about it. What if he made some stupid comment that ruined everything, just because he didn’t know there was something he could have done differently? It wasn’t fair—certainly not to him, but also not to Amber and Maddox. If there was a problem, Riley needed to know, so he could help them work it out.
That’s what this whole relationship thing was supposed to be about, wasn’t it? Helping the people you loved get through their problems? But neither one of them wanted to share. Neither one of them were willing to let Riley help. And that was really, really, starting to piss him off.
He was scowling by the time he stalked into the townhouse they were gutting, vibrating with the need to pound something. He found Maddox hanging drywall in one of the upstairs bedrooms. Two of the inner load-bearing walls had been stripped, exposing insulation and studs. Paint cans had been stacked in the corner by the far window, ready for when the drywall finally went up. Tarps covered the bare floors, and there were a couple of small A-frame ladders in opposite corners of the room. A rolling tool chest that came up to mid-thigh sat close by where Maddox was working, flanked by a couple of smaller toolboxes and a covered bucket that held the spackle they would use the seal the drywall once it was all hung. The room smelled of fresh plaster and paint, with a hint of Maddox’s aftershave thrown in, just to make Riley’s cock twitch. Damn it.
Maddox was hanging drywall beside the door they’d just installed in the interior wall, a door that now connected two of the townhouses. When they’d installed it, Riley had shaken his head, wondering what the hell was going on. But now, after hearing Allen’s explanation for the reasons behind the bizarre renovations they were doing, it made perfect sense.
But his mind wasn’t on construction right now. Checking to make sure none of the other guys were nearby, he closed the door and punched the lock, making Maddox jump.
“Hey, man,” he said, wiping sweat from his forehead. He was shirtless, exposing all those delicious muscles and those incredibly manly tattoos, and at any other time, Riley would have been seriously distracted. But right now, he was revving for a fight, and Maddox was the perfect target.
“You need to tell me what’s going on between you and Amber,” he said flatly, making Maddox jerk back with a pained look on his face. Riley stalked across the room, stopping with less than a foot between them, fuming. “She told me a little. Now you need to tell me the rest. I can’t stand being in the dark like this, Maddox. I need to know what the fuck is going on between the two of you. Otherwise, I’m going to do or say something stupid and ruin everything, and all because I don’t know what the fuck is going on.”
Maddox sighed, wiping his hands on a towel he had threaded through a belt loop. He sat on his toolbox, gesturing for Riley to do the same on a nearby bucket. “I told you I’d tell you later, Riley,” he said softly. “We just haven’t had a chance, yet. I was already planning on filling you in. Calm down, please. It wasn’t malicious, I promise you that.”
Riley sat, crossing his arms over his chest. “Fine, then. Talk.”
Maddox wrapped one hand around the back of his neck, looked up at the ceiling while he gathered his thoughts. “First, I need to ask you some questions.”
Riley frowned. “Why? About what?”
Maddox held up a hand in a “be patient” gesture. “There are some things you need to understand in order to really comprehend what’s going on with me and her. I need to know what you already know, so I can fill in the blanks, before we get into what’s going on with her. Okay? Trust me, please.”
Riley chewed the inside of his cheek. “Okay. Fine. What do you want to know?”
Maddox’s silver eyes pinned him in place, suddenly deadly serious. “Are you familiar with the concepts of Dominance and submission?”
Riley’s jaw dropped open, so completely caught off-guard it wasn’t even funny. “What the fuck, man? What does that have to do with anything?”
“Just answer the question. Do you know what they are?”
Riley scowled. “I guess. I don’t claim to understand the appeal, honestly. Women are always hot wearing skin-tight leather, don’t get me wrong, but the whole Dominatrix thing has never appealed to me. Chains and whips aren’t exactly my thing, dude.”
Maddox snorted. “Well, thankfully for both of us, I’ve never dressed up in skin-tight leather, or wielded chains. So, we’re good there.”
He blinked. Blinked again. “Say…say what?”
Maddox looked him in the face, hiding nothing. “Though the term you just used is old, from a time when the concept of D/s was misunderstood, there are still female Dommes. And where you find females, you also find males.” He paused and made sure he had Riley’s complete attention. “I’m a Dom, Riley.”
Okay, this was turning into the most bizarre conversation he’d ever had, bar none. “What the fuck are you talking about? What the hell does that
even mean?”
Maddox sighed. “It can be hard to understand, especially if you’ve never been exposed to the concepts beyond what is shown on TV and in movies, the crap they use for shock value. Leather, chains, bull whips, men and women being treated like objects, controlled because the Dom wants to demean them, make themselves feel important. They show those things because they want something physical that will translate well on camera. But, that’s all it is, surface imagery. Those shock images have nothing to do with the reality when it comes to D/s. If they put a real Dom or Domme in a movie, you wouldn’t be able to tell them from anybody else. We’re normal people, Riley. We just have particular needs when it comes to sex.”
Riley shot to his feet, completely confused and starting to get pissed off about it. “So, what are you saying to me, man? You like to demean women? Hurt them?”
Maddox rose more slowly, his eyes suddenly flat and cold, making a shiver of fear wash down Riley’s spine. “No, I most certainly am not saying I like to demean or hurt anyone. And if you’d get your head out of your ass and listen to me, you’d realize that’s what I just said.”
Riley took a step back, unease twisting his guts into knots. “Then you better help me understand. Otherwise, I’m getting me and Amber the fuck out of here, right now. I’m not joking.”
Maddox bared his teeth. “Listen to me, asshole. I’m trying to explain this in a way that will make sense, not trying to piss you off. Either shut up and let me speak, or go ahead and leave.”
Riley bit back a curse and balled his fists, staring at his friend for a long, silent moment. Then he huffed out a sigh and sat back down. “Fine. I’m listening.”
Maddox just looked at him, assessing his sincerity, then finally reseated himself. “I’m a sexual Dominant,” he said quietly. “All that really means, at the very basic foundation of the concept, is I need to be in control of the motion during sex in order to come. Most men assume they are Dominant, because they usually prefer to be on top. The difference is, for someone like me, I actually need to be on top in order to find satisfaction.”
“Dude, that doesn’t mean anything,” Riley protested. “I like being on top, too. Who doesn’t?”
“And have you ever come because a woman was on top of you?” Maddox asked in that deep, sexy voice of his. “Have you ever come because you had a woman riding your cock, her tits bouncing all around while she used your body to get herself off?”
Riley snorted. “Of course.” In fact, he preferred it that way.
Maddox raised an eyebrow, gave him a pointed look. “I haven’t. I can’t. Not because I don’t want to. Because it’s the way I’m built. Without being in control of the physical motion, I can’t reach orgasm. So while I would love to watch Amber ride me all night long, it wouldn’t do either one of us any good.”
Despite his best efforts to remain angry, Riley found himself picturing Amber bouncing on Maddox’s huge cock, her head thrown back, face contorted with ecstasy. He cleared his throat. “Okay, I get that. I think.”
Maddox gave him an ironic smile, obviously aware of where Riley’s thoughts had just gone. “So, that’s what it means to be a Dom. I can’t come unless I’m on top. It’s not a preference, not something I can choose to ignore for the sake of the moment. I have to be in control for the story to have a happy ending. Then there’s the reverse. Being a submissive. That’s what Amber is.”
“So what does it mean for her?”
“It means she can’t be in control—can’t be on top—if she’s going to reach orgasm.”
Despite himself, Riley found lust pooling in his lower belly, talking about Amber getting off. He cleared his throat. “Okay.”
Maddox shot him a half smile. Then he sobered again. “A sub also prefers to have someone else in control. What that entails depends on the person, what each one wants and needs. ‘Control’ can be as simple as being on top all the time—or it can extend further, to controlling the entire encounter. Giving commands, arranging scenarios that push the sub’s boundaries, etc. The Dom takes control because that’s his nature, and the sub chooses to give up control, because that’s her nature.
“And yes, there are Doms out there who like to wear leather, who like to hold a whip and exert physical control over a sub in their power. But I’m not one of them, Riley. I don’t use restraints, and I certainly don’t use pain to bring pleasure. It’s not part of my nature. Never has been. Being a Dom doesn’t mean I automatically like those kinds of things, okay?”
Riley nodded shortly. “Okay. What does it mean for you, then?”
Maddox cocked his head. “Do you remember last night, when I had Amber lift her arms over her head, grab onto my arm so she wouldn’t interfere with your explorations of her gorgeous body?”
Riley shuddered, licking his lips as a wave of lust washed through him. “Yes,” he answered tightly.
Maddox raised an eyebrow. “That’s it.”
Riley’s mouth popped open. “That’s it?” he repeated incredulously. “That’s all?”
Maddox shrugged one shoulder. “That’s the basic expression of it, yeah. Directing the action, commanding Amber to be still, to let you explore her without interference. Commanding her to get herself off while she listened to us fuck last night.” His silver eyes gleamed with sudden fire, making Riley shiver.
“Commanding you to go to my room, strip, and get on my bed. Pinning your wrists to the bed, holding you down while I sucked your cock. That’s all it is, Riley,” he said silkily, his voice going deep and husky. “That’s my form of Dominance.”
Riley swallowed past a dry throat. His cock was suddenly rock-hard, remembering last night, remembering how he’d felt when Maddox gave him those commands.
“It doesn’t have to be about chains and whips,” Maddox growled. “It doesn’t have to be about pain, or having ultimate control. It can be as simple as daring your sub to do something uninhibited, the way I dared Amber to listen to us fuck, dared her to make herself come while I was buried in your hot ass. It’s about tearing down external barriers, concentrating on the needs of your body and mind at the same time.
“D/s is ninety percent psychological. It can’t be shown, can’t be felt by anyone else. That’s why the movies concentrate on the disturbing images, the extremes that those of us who practice D/s find just as repulsive as the vanilla world does. A real D/s relationship looks like any other—except for the fact that, usually, the people involved are a lot more sexually satisfied, because it’s easier to throw inhibitions out the window and admit what you truly need.”
Riley had to clear his throat—twice—to get his voice past the lust clogging his throat. “If that’s all it is, why is Amber afraid of you?”
To his utter surprise, Maddox surged to his feet, suddenly agitated. The guy started pacing furiously, rubbing his hands up and down his biceps while a scowl darkened his brow.
“Because she was abused,” Maddox hissed dangerously. “Because she got caught up with a man who claimed he was a Dom, an asshole who twisted everything D/s means to serve his own perverted needs. And because Amber didn’t know any better, she thought she was getting what she asked for.”
Riley stood slowly, carefully, feeling like he was facing a predator about to strike. He held both hands out from his sides, his expression as calm as he could make it. “Do you mean Wes?” he asked quietly. “The asshole her father wants her to marry?”
Maddox shook his head, his face squinching up with so much pain, it made Riley hurt for him. “No,” he spat through gritted teeth. “I’m talking about her first boyfriend. Brandon.”
“Okay,” Riley said. He took a step closer, hating the wildness in his lover’s eyes. “Calm down, Ox. I get you being upset, okay? I was pissed, too, when Amber told me her ex mistreated her, but…”
“Mistreated her?” Maddox asked, stopping mid-stride to stare at Riley with wide, incredulous eyes. He laughed, but it was a sound filled with jagged thunder and lightning storms, not joy. “I
s that how she described it to you? That he mistreated her? God damn it…”
Maddox whirled away from him, started pacing again. He looked like a panther prowling his territory, searching for an intruder to rip into tiny, bloody pieces.
Riley stopped where he was, tried to keep his voice level. “So…is that why she’s afraid of you? Because her first guy was a Dom, and so are you?”
Maddox snarled viciously, reared back—and slammed his fist right through the drywall he’d just hung. The room filled with little white dust particles as he stood with his fist buried six inches inside the wall, breathing like a bellows.
“I’m nothing like that bastard!” Maddox cried harshly. His whole body was trembling. “Nothing, Riley. He wasn’t even a Dom. Do you get that?”
Riley approached and slowly, carefully, reached out and pulled Maddox’s fist out of the wall. He turned the other man, had him lean against the damaged surface, and looked up at him while rubbing his abused knuckles. “Help me understand,” he said quietly.
Maddox closed his eyes, not pulling away but obviously vibrating with the need to put distance between them. But Riley wouldn’t let him, just kept up the gentle caress as he waited. He’d never seen Maddox go ballistic like this. Never seen the guy lose control. He desperately needed to understand what was going on with him, and right the fuck now. Obviously, there was something major he wasn’t getting. And his ignorance was driving Maddox insane.
“Please,” Riley whispered. “I want to understand. So I can help.”
Maddox was breathing hard, his shoulders heaving up and down with every breath. After a moment, he pulled away from Riley, dropped his arms, and balled his fists at his sides. His silver eyes were wild with a deep inner rage Riley couldn’t even begin to emulate.
“She thought he was a Dom,” Maddox grated. “She thought he was teaching her to be a sub. And because she didn’t know the difference between giving up control and having it taken from you by force, she got in over her head without knowing how to get out of it.”
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