by Ryan Michele
Tears welled in my eyes, and I tried with super human strength to push them back.
I leaned over and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him to me, my face burrowing in his neck. I wanted to believe it. I did. However, I was scared. Terrified.
His words wouldn’t normally cut me, but those … Those cut me to the quick, and I latched on to every single one of them as I held him tight.
We stayed in that position for long moments before lifting our heads. When we did, he kissed me, sexy and sultry and with as much passion as ever, but it was also slow and sweet. He cupped my cheeks as he surprised me with the type of kiss and then pulled away.
“You get me now, Trixie?”
I nodded because I did, even if everything was a mess right now.
“Good.” He kissed my forehead. “What about me killing my father?”
The air left my sails. Even after having time to process it, it still seemed so surreal, but it was now my reality. I understood why Cade had done what he did. While murder was a horrible thing, I didn’t feel outrage or even fear from him. If anything, it made me realize the lengths Cade would go to for me.
I looked into his captivating eyes. “Cade, I’m not saying that I’m alright with you killing people, but I get why you had to take out your father.”
“Does it scare you?” he asked hesitantly.
I bent over and touched my lips to his. “No.” I stared into his eyes. I couldn’t give him exactly what he needed at the moment, but I hoped my eyes told him what he needed to know.
“Good, Trixie, good.” He kissed me hard then rose. “Your dad should be here in an hour.”
I looked at the clock, and a boulder fell in my gut. One hour. Shit.
Cade moved back to the couch and sat down, pulling out his phone and getting back to work. I turned back to my desk, mentally preparing myself for the meeting with my father.
I wasn’t going to lie. I was happy Cade was here. My father had always made me nervous growing up. I’d always felt more like an obligation to him than a daughter. I learned quickly how to take care of myself, because my father hadn’t cared if I had eaten or bathed, and the nannies always did the bare minimum. He always told me that I “needed to grow up,” which I did faster than any child should. Regardless, I survived and grew out of it, becoming tougher than most women.
The boulder in my stomach flipped and flopped, making me queasy. It felt like forever before there was a knock on the door, and Jett popped her head inside, her face pale as a ghost. I knew the Colonel was here.
Jett had never liked him, told me he freaked her way the hell out. She had a right to be seriously scared.
“The Colonel’s here,” she said softly, her eyes moving to Cade.
“Let him in,” I said and mouthed, “It’s okay,” and she nodded, shutting the door.
Cade pulled a chair around from the front of the desk and sat next to me, cool and calm. I wish I had that, but no, my heart was pumping so fast I was surprised my body didn’t spasm. Hopefully, it didn’t show on the outside.
The door opened, and in stepped my father, the Colonel. The air seemed to get sucked out of the room as his eyes came to mine. He looked as good as always in black slacks with a pressed crease down the middle and a white shirt unbuttoned at the collar. His shoes were the expensive Italian kind.
His face was worn yet firm. He had lines by his eyes, which I knew didn’t come from laughing. I’d had yet to ever hear him laugh. They had to be from all the scowls. My same green eyes locked on me then swung to Cade.
“Well, this is interesting,” he said in a low tone as he shut the door behind him and walked into the space like he owned it.
I wouldn’t show weakness, not ever. As much as I wanted to either pace or move my leg up and down, I did neither. I was stoic, even clasping my hands together so I didn’t start scratching the desk. If I did that, then he’d know I was nervous.
“Hi, Colonel. Please, have a seat.” I gestured to the chair in front of me.
“You packing?” Cade asked from beside me.
“Always. You?” he countered.
Cade nodded. I had mine, too, under the desk, but it was nice to know everyone was at play here. Anything was possible with the Colonel.
My father sat, crossing one ankle over his knee and sitting back in the chair, relaxed as can be.
“You summoned me,” he quipped.
My heart rate sped up, and I tried to slow it, but it was on a warpath. I wanted to ask the question yet stumbled on it, my normal bravado taking a back seat when I needed it the most.
“I told her about the girls,” Cade said, shocking me. One, for bailing me out. Two, because I wanted to kiss him for having the balls to flat out say it. I wanted some of those balls when it came to the man sitting before me.
The Colonel remained stoic. “And what girls would this be?”
Cade stiffened beside me while I kept my eyes trained on my father.
“I told her about my father’s side business that you took over.”
The Colonel’s eyes sliced to Cade as some unknown to me conversation went through them. I wanted to be in one of their heads.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he claimed, and my heart dropped.
While I hadn’t really expected him to tell me, part of me had hoped. That little girl inside who had always wanted her father’s approval wanted to think he’d tell me the truth. I knew better, yet I wished he would have turned over a new leaf. I let the hope die along with everything I had always wanted for in a father.
“The business you took over for Spook’s father,” I finally spoke. “Why would you do this?”
Nothing on his face gave him away. He wasn’t going to tell us anything.
“Cade’s putting some serious ideas in your head. Lies, lies, lies. You trying to get in my daughter’s pants again?” he accused.
“Just finish this, Colonel. She knows. Deal with it,” Cade retorted in a clipped tone.
My father looked me straight in the eye, the intensity coming off him in waves. “You’re going to believe him? Come on, Trix; you’re smarter than that,” he scoffed like it was all the same to him. He really didn’t give a shit if I believed him or not.
“Why would Spook lie?”
My father shrugged. “Who the fuck knows?”
“I’m not fucking lying,” Cade growled.
My father stared at Cade, and I could feel the anger billowing off the man beside me.
“First, why would anyone admit to anything of the sort? That would be a fool’s move, and I am no fool. Second, if someone were to know such damaging information, they would have to be dealt with.” The last words were snapped tight.
Coldness took over my body. It was a threat to me.
My throat clogged, and I couldn’t speak. It shouldn’t be a surprise, considering everything I’d learned, but not once in my life had he ever threatened to deal with me. Never once laid a hand on me. He’d gone and done it now. I was officially petrified of the man.
“You come fucking near her, and I’ll kill you,” Cade fumed, his body still relaxed, but not his temper.
Cade was right; this was a bad idea. I was smarter than this and should have played the outcome in my head better, not letting all the new information clog me up. That was on me.
When I reached over and put my hand on Cade’s knee, his hand came to the top of mine and squeezed. I needed it, needed the reassurance, his comfort.
“I won’t say anything.” My words came out so much smaller than I wanted, allowing the bit of hurt to come through, which was a mistake. The Colonel would use it. I kicked myself for not having the control.
“I know you won’t say a word because you have no proof of anything. I, on the other hand, do.” He paused, his eyes going to Cade. “Proof that your boy here killed his father in cold blood. I’d hate for that information to get into the wrong hands.” His face was so still. Nothing, not a tick or an eye movement, to te
ll me he was lying.
Cade was wrong. Someone else knew. Shit.
“You asshole,” Cade ground out.
This time, my father gave a devilish smirk. “Never play all your cards. You never know when you’ll need one in reserve,” he said to both of us.
Shit, his teachings came back to me. He’d always told me that, if there were a way to hold a card back to use at a later time, do it.
His eyes were cold, so cold the frost filled my veins. “I’m done.” He stood and went to the door. I went to say something, but he turned back to me. “Watch yourself,” he said, slamming the door behind him.
Holy shit. I allowed my body to shake because it so desperately needed it. I’d held it all in, and if I didn’t let it out, I was going to implode.
Cade must have seen it, because he pulled me out of the chair and plopped me in his lap. He rubbed my arms and kissed the top of my head, not saying anything. I clung to his warmth, allowing him to chip off the ice I felt to my bones. I needed the quiet to process everything that happened. I felt like my life was in a blender that was turned on high. A chill ran up my back.
“Trixie, we’re leaving here and going to your place. I want you to pack everything you need for a while. You’re coming to stay with me. If you’re here and I’m not, I’m gonna have a man on you. I don’t know what the fuck he’s thinking, but I’m not taking any chances.”
I burrowed farther into him. Cade wanted to take care of me, protect me. I’d been protecting myself for so damn long it felt nice to have someone help with the burden. I felt a small part of me crack.
Thoughts of all my options played in my head: Go back home alone? No thank you. Stay with Ike or Jett? Nope, not bringing the Colonel down on them.
I had to start somewhere with Cade, and he’d already started building the blocks of trust by protecting and trusting me. If I stayed with him, then I’d let the cards fall where they may.
“Okay.”
“You’re not gonna fight me on this?” he questioned.
“No.” My voice lowered to a whisper. “I’m scared, and you make me feel safe.”
He kissed my head again and chuckled. “And here I thought you were gonna be a challenge.”
“I’ll always be a challenge.” I would be, but when it came to him protecting me, the trust was building.
CADE WAS ON the phone while I finished up my work. After, we went home to pack my clothes. He was sweet, checking out the house before letting me in and then carrying my bags out to my car for me. I drove it while he followed on his bike right behind me.
We finally arrived at the compound around eleven. It was still early for me, but I was wiped. These last few days had been a whirlwind of activity with information, and I was still reeling.
Cade directed me to one of the cement-block buildings off to the side of the main clubhouse. It was fairly big, but the outside was stark. It didn’t have the plants that some of the others had, and when he opened the door, I could see why. The place was a pit. There were clothes every which way, empty pizza boxes. It was nothing like Cade’s office or his room at the club that were both organized and put together.
The wide space had two couches, a recliner, and a large coffee table in the center with a mammoth seventy-three-inch television hanging on the wall. All of it was covered in clothes, empty containers. Basically, it was a complete disaster.
“Welcome,” he said as if I didn’t need a hazmat suit.
“Really, Cade?”
He shrugged. “It’s home. Only people who come in here are me and sometimes my mom.”
“And let me guess, your mother cleans it up for ya.”
He smiled huge. “It’s been a while.”
“Momma’s boy,” I teased, kicking some clothes out of my path.
He laughed, dropping my bags on the floor. He immediately started picking up the clothes, throwing them in a huge pile in the corner of the room. Just doing that, I could now see the beige carpet. At least the place didn’t stink.
“Want something to drink?” he offered, walking into his surprisingly modern kitchen. It had stainless steel appliances and a dark granite-type countertop that was littered in shit. He grabbed a large, black garbage bag; did an arm swipe and pushed everything into it.
“Interesting way to clean,” I commented, moving farther into the space.
“Gotta do what I gotta do,” he quipped, picking up my bags then moving down a hallway. I followed.
When we got to his bedroom, I was shocked. It was nothing like the rest of the house. No, this room was pretty clean except the messy bed, but who made their beds anymore?
My mind reeled to Stacy the night I was here for the party.
“Do I need to fumigate the sheets?” I asked, not liking this. I thought about the clubhouse bed. Shit, I should have fumigated those.
“Told you, no one’s been in here but me.”
“And the clubhouse?” Why did I ask that? Why, why, why? I didn’t want to know the answer, yet I opened my big damned mouth.
“You really wanna know? Because I’ll tell ya flat-out, Trixie. I’m not gonna keep shit from you, but you’ve gotta really want the answers to the questions you ask.”
I thought for a bit and chewed on my bottom lip. I already knew the answer, and I didn’t need to hear it.
“I’m not sleeping in the clubhouse.”
He chuckled. “Babe, I’ll buy a new fucking bed. New everything.” He flipped on the lights to the en suite bathroom, which was also fairly decent. “Gotta say, I love your fire, babe.”
He dropped my bags and pulled me flush with his body. I was so damn tired from the day, but his touch sparked the flame inside me.
He kissed me, hard and deep. I needed this, needed to feel alive. I needed him to wash all of the shit from the day away. I needed my head on something else besides the mess that my life had turned into. I had Nanette owing me a chunk of change, my father was a lying piece of shit, and I was mixed up with Cade and didn’t know if I could trust it.
He wrapped his hand in my hair, turning my head to go deeper into my mouth. I loved when he took control. The taste of Cade burst across my tongue, and wetness coated me.
He wasted no time, somehow unbuttoning my jeans and getting them and my thong off without breaking the kiss. I had to release and break the kiss when he ripped my shirt over my head then did the same to himself. This wasn’t sweet and slow. No, this was fast and demanding.
“Need to fuck you hard,” he growled, his words burning me.
“God, yes.”
He gave me another brutal kiss then turned me around and pushed me on the bed. My chest hit the cold sheets. I heard the thump of his buckle hitting the floor and the rustle of clothes. The bed dipped, and without words, he positioned my knees under me then slammed inside. I put my face in the sheets and screamed, the burn and pleasure mingled together in a rainbow of colors.
His thrusts shook the bed, and I clawed at the sheets as he drove me higher and higher. A slap came to my ass, and I turned to him.
“That’s for not believing me.”
He gave me more slaps to my ass, so many I lost count, but he was fucking me so damn good that the fire it caused only made me hotter.
“You know I’ll always protect you?”
When I didn’t answer, he slapped my mound, and heat cascaded all the way up to my core.
“Answer me,” he demanded.
“Yes …” I said shakily.
He smiled predatorily and began pumping into me harder.
I gasped, feeling like this orgasm was going to be bigger than ever. Stars sparked in my eyes as the pleasure hit. However, he didn’t lessen his pace, just continued to make me climb higher and higher. I didn’t know if I had several orgasms in a row or if it was only a long one that never stopped.
He groaned, and then his weight fell on top of me, his face going to my neck. He nuzzled me, inhaling me. Every single time he did this, my heart tripped over itself. His weight fel
t nice, safe, comforting.
He rolled off, cleaning up while I did the same. When we climbed into bed, he pulled my back to his front, and I snuggled into him willingly. He wrapped his arms around me tight, and I passed out within seconds.
IN THE MIDDLE of the night, I was rolled onto my back, and I opened my eyes groggily. Cade brushed his hands up and down my legs as he sat between them.
“What’s going on?” I asked, seeing his eyes full of lust, making my clit wake up.
He continued to rub up and down my legs, my naked body on full display to him.
“I wanna show you something.”
With my brow raised, I asked, “In the middle of the night?”
He reached over to the side of the bed, pulling out a belt. To say I was shocked was an understatement.
“What do you need a belt for?”
A sexy grin came across his lips, and I had the urge to sit up and lick them.
“You’re starting to trust me?”
I nodded because it was true.
“I wanna show you pleasure, Trixie.”
“With what?” Surely, he wasn’t going to slap me with it. That wasn’t happening.
“Tying you to my bed.”
“No,” was my knee-jerk response. I couldn’t be trapped with no way of getting out.
I moved to get up, but Cade’s body came down on mine, pinning me to the bed. His thighs on mine didn’t allow any of my skin to be without him. I felt caged in, trapped, and my flight response hit me hard.
“Trixie.” His voice was soft, which caught me off guard.
I looked up into his eyes. Sparks were in them, but not angry ones … lustful ones.
“Off!” I could hear the panic in my tone, but he didn’t move.
“Would I ever hurt you?”
My mind reeled. Physically, no. Emotionally, he’d done it once, so why wouldn’t he do it again?
“No,” I told him, fully believing he would do anything in his power to make sure nothing hurt me …physically. I even believed he’d lay his life down for me if he had to.
“Right.” He brushed his lips against mine in the softest, featherlike kiss, dousing some of the flames of my anger. “I wanna make you feel good. I wanna show you that even with your arms tied above your head, you’re safe with me. That you can fully trust me.”