by L. U. Ann
I hear Grandma Pain gasp and she is pissed.
"What on earth are you doing here so early, Boy? I don't have her ready. She's slacking, stinky, and fixin' to go pick out her own switch."
I hear him chuckle at Grandma Pain's forwardness. Oh, I love that woman.
"No worries. I'll get her moving just like you asked," Devon responds. Oddly, the last part is more like a whisper.
I look over at Evan who is taking a late morning nap and smile. Safe, warm, and happy. I couldn't want more at this moment. A slight knock follows him opening my door, and then I realize I may want more. Shit, no, no, no. I can't think like that.
"I hear I stink," I jet out, trying to dispel my thoughts of wanting him. No faster way than to say stink, right?
But he chuckles and continues into my room towards Evan’s crib. He is checking on him. Holy shit, he has a look of pride. What I would give to know what he's thinking. No, Lacey. Oh, hell no, not going there.
"Come on," he says, offering his hand. I humor him and he guides me slowly into the bathroom. "You need to shower, Lacey. We have an appointment in a couple of hours.” He turns to look me in the eye. “I really am sorry I couldn’t make it yesterday. You don’t know how hard it was not to sneak in here just to say goodnight, but I knew it was too late.”
“It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not.” He places a finger under my chin. “Lacey, if I tell you I’m going to do something, I’m going to do it. If I don’t, then I’m just like any other guy. I’m not him. I will do my best to never break a promise again. Okay?”
Nodding, my heart flutters from his words.
“Did you get my flowers?”
Continuing to nod, I smile.
“They’re gorgeous. You didn't have to do that, but thank you.” I breathe heavily, overcome with emotion.
"Come on. You need help. And since I'm practically a doctor, let me help you shower so we aren't late for the appointment."
His hot minty breath is intoxicating my senses. I close my eyes and allow myself to feel the overwhelming sensations he elicits just from his breath. A moan escapes my lips when he kisses my ear, sending warmth straight to the pit of my stomach where I ache.
Needing to gather my composure, I say, "That's okay, Devon. I can get it." I know if he helps me, we might be late.
"Oh no you don't, Lacey. I promised Grandma Pain I wouldn't let you out of my sight. It's doctor’s orders, well in this case, Grandma Pain's orders." He chuckles, grinning devilishly. "I must help you."
"What do you mean Grandma Pain?"
He raises an eyebrow giving me a knowing look, and it's in that moment, I comprehend what that woman is up to.
"Fine, but there is no peeking, Mister," I reply and roll my eyes.
Devon gently swats my rear and follows me. He lowers the toilet seat for me to sit and turns on the shower, allowing it to warm. I begin taking my socks off and he returns to help. Watching him, I find myself mesmerized by his gentleness. He holds out his hand to help me stand, and when Devon slowly lifts my shirt, he sucks in a breath.
His eyes search mine before suddenly moving closer to place a soft chaste kiss on the corner of my mouth. He waits, gauging my reaction. I close my eyes, caught up in the emotions caused by this amazing man. Why, God? Why? I open my eyes to find he's pulled back and searching for answers that I don't have. He lowers his mouth again and I lose the fight.
The innocent kiss from before has become urgent, full of passion, and need. As his tongue takes over my mouth, my body, my thoughts, I feel moisture escape my eyes. I could have had this. This could have been my forever, but now it can't. He doesn't deserve me, this, or any of my destructive ways. But as much as I know he doesn't deserve this, I can't stop. I want this so much that I just might do anything to get it. No, I can't do this to him. I pull back, my eyes blurry with tears, to find him looking inside me, to my very soul.
Closing my eyes, I whisper, "Devon, I- I- I- can't." My eyes remain closed. I can't handle the powerful emotions overtaking my mind. The self-assured, kind-hearted man standing before me doesn't know how my heart hurts at just the thought that I could damage him with my destructive pattern of behavior.
"Well, I can, Lacey, so how about I decide for both of us? I want you. I've wanted you for almost an entire fucking year. You will not want, hurt, or need as long as I'm around. And that goes for your little man, too. Please, let me take care of you. I've been beating myself up for so long looking for you. I want to be with you and I will wait if that's what you need. But I'm going nowhere. Do you understand?" His grip tightens in my hair, making me focus entirely on him. The power of the words he just spoke renders me speechless, like the clichés ‘cat got your tongue’ or ‘tongue tied’. The look in his eyes is hungry and he’s ready to devour every inch of me. And just like that, his mouth takes mine once more.
Dropping my cane, my hands find his biceps. I want to pull his perfectly fit body into mine where we can finally seek something we've both questioned for almost a year. But I can't. If I do this... I mean, since I'm doing this, I want it to be just right. I don't want to mess this up like I did with Caine. Ugh, why do I have to think about him right now and ruin this perfect moment? I pull back slightly, attempting to rid my unpleasant thoughts.
"Lacey," Devon whispers, cupping my face in his hands. "I am serious. I'm madly in love with you and I will not apologize, nor will I allow you to downplay this attraction between us. Fate brought us back together. When I recognized your hair draped over your shaking body in the hospital bed, and then read your chart, I wanted to fucking kill someone. I didn't know how you wound up there, but I was determined to beat the shit out of whoever put you there, Lacey. But the selfish bastard I am, I couldn't help but want to thank the person, too. How fucked up is that?" he says, searching my eyes.
"My heart stopped when I recognized the hair, and then it sprang forward, elated at the opportunity to talk to you one more time. As painful as it was to see you injured, I was not going to let you slip through my fingers again. Do you understand what I'm saying to you, Lacey? I love everything about you!" His husky voice is loud but honest, determined, and enchanting.
I can't take my eyes off the man I could have known for almost a year. His thumb wipes the tears running down my cheek and I am dazed by his words. I'm humbled and sad, and scared of what my heart is doing right now. I try to take a deep breath but it hurts too much. I'm not sure what hurts more, my ribs or my heart.
His mouth covers mine in an unhurried kiss that awakens my body. The tenderness of his tongue sends chills down my spine, causing me to melt into his body as if I'm a snowman melting from the first thaw. Every sweep relaxes me more, giving me permission to feel this.
When he pulls his breathless mouth away, resting our foreheads together, I think about the amount of time we might have lost.
With his hands still cupping each side of my face, he says, "Lacey, I know how badly you want to protect your baby, so let's get you showered before I do something I might regret."
I close my eyes, taking in the deep sound. The strength in his voice embraces the scared little girl inside of me. The little girl who is scared of a broken heart, scared of the innocent little boy, scared of the man I'm trying to escape, and scared of all the unknowns that lie ahead of her.
"Fuck, Lacey."
I immediately become self-conscious, not sure if he's repulsed by the surgical marks or bruises.
"Don't cover yourself. You are gorgeous. Stop blushing."
I feel my cheeks warm and I'm pretty sure my body is breaking out in splotches from the embarrassment.
"Seriously Lacey, this...," he runs his fingers from my ear, down my neck and around my shoulder, "this is beautiful. Undeniable beauty, Lacey. And this?" He runs his fingers from my shoulders slowly around, taunting my chest.
My breath has quickened. I'm having a hard time breathing. It feels like he's discovering a long lost treasure.
Running his thumbs acros
s my nipples, he continues, "This is so sexy Lacey. And...," his fingers continue, but this time I can only faintly feel his touch as he's careful not to hurt me. His fingers find the waistband of my pants, slowly lowering himself with them bracing me while I step out. Gentle fingers run up my legs, sending chills to every inch of my flesh.
I close my eyes at the heady combination, wanting to savor the long awaited breaking down of our boundaries.
Devon rises and says in a throaty voice, "This Lacey is so beautiful. And..." His fingertips make a painfully slow trail up my bottom, then my back, neck, and finally grasping my hair as his mouth descends on mine. His kiss is heavy and thick, permanently marking me.
I'm weak and unable to move, overcome with emotion. The love pouring from his fingertips, his words, and his mouth is so powerful, I can't think of anything else.
I pull at his shirt and he helps me remove it. Tears are streaming down my cheeks. They aren't tears of pain or sadness, but tears of joy and absolute bliss. This man has completely taken over my heart and is showing me what it's like to be loved and cherished. Words cannot do this feeling justice. Nothing can express the sensations taking over my body, thoughts, and mind, creating within me an incredible hypnotic mental state.
"Come on. Let’s get you clean before we run out of hot water." He pauses. "First..." He slowly lifts my tank top, separating us but keeping his eyes on mine. The fact that he won't look at my naked breasts is scrupulous. He doesn't want to take away from the moment. His fingers slip under my panties, pushing them down where they fall to my ankles. Eyes remaining on mine, he says, "Step out, Lacey."
Oh my God, I'm going to die. He still hasn't peeked. Feeling very exposed, I pull the button and zipper on his jeans, allowing them to fall.
"Lacey, I'm not the patient." He smiles a crooked grin.
"I know, but we need to level the playing field here."
"Nothing we are doing here is playing, Lacey. I am completely and utterly smitten by your beauty. Hand?" he asks, bringing his up to help me step into the tub, but his eyes remain focused on mine. We move under the spray of water, sending more goose bumps to rise. But not from being cold. No, this is all from Devon's touch.
He lathers the washcloth and asks, "May I?" He’s asking permission to not only wash me but also to look.
I nod.
His eyes slowly move from mine to my lips seconds before he kisses me. Moving the washcloth slowly, he gently washes my body, taking in the contours as he explores. My body sinks into his, and he runs the cloth up and down my back. My body aches for his touch. We continue to kiss as if we don't have a tomorrow. Moving back slightly, he allows me to clean my private areas. With him in his boxers, I feel a little less exposed. It would've been different with the nurse’s help I got in the hospital. One would think that having just recently crossed over from the friend zone, this might be too much. But it's not. This feels very sensual, as if he's worshipping my body.
His eyes painstakingly scan my frame while I take in the perfectly taut muscles covering his chest. I run my fingers over the slight bulge of muscles, and he contracts them with a quick breath, defining their edges. Tracing the muscles down his stomach, I can tell this is having as powerful an effect on him as it is on me. My eyes return to his, and we exchange looks of love and lust, and all of the emotions we feel.
He moves a little so the spray of water is directly on me, and helps wash my hair from behind. It's very soothing. I love how he is pampering me. Once he's finished lathering my hair, he wraps his arms around me, kissing my neck down to my shoulder. The feeling is both exquisite and heavenly.
He helps dry me off, stealing more kisses as often as he can. I must admit I enjoy stealing them, too.
When I turn around to watch him walk towards the door, I gasp. I had no idea that he has a tattoo, a freaking sexy dragon tattoo at that, running from the top of his shoulders down the right of his ribcage.
He glances back, knowing what I'm seeing for the first time.
"Did it hurt?" I ask, slowly wobbling over to inspect it better. The head of the fire-breathing dragon starts on his left shoulder blade. I trace it past his mid-section over to the right side. My fingers discover a skull partially covered by one of the dragon’s limbs surrounded by red roses. Continuing down the body of the dragon, I find a compass with more red roses just before its hind legs. The tail wraps around his hip with the remaining art hidden by his boxers.
My fingers hover over the elastic band wanting to see the rest. Devon shivers and I smile. The intimate act is causing us both to breathe heavily. Running my fingers back up the spine of the beast and over the goose bumps, I place a kiss on the head.
"Devon, you didn't answer my question. Did it hurt?"
He shrugs his shoulders.
"What does it mean?"
Shaking his head, he shies away from the question. "I'll tell you later. You need to get dressed." He kisses me, shivers erupting over my flesh, and I slink into him as he wraps his arms around me so carefully.
Dressed with some added Evan love, I'm as ready as I'll ever be to take a step in the right direction with Caine, and that is a separation. Who would have thought that Grandma Pain had so many tricks up her sleeve? Like, having a certain swoon-worthy man help me shower, or demand she watch Evan so that Devon can take me to my appointment and then to a quick dinner after. I am hesitant at first. I almost beg for her to come along with Evan. My nerves are on edge, worrying Caine will show up and take my little man from me. After all, didn't I spend enough time away from him?
As usual, Grandma Pain gets what Grandma Pain wants. She argues I will only miss a couple of hours with him until his bedtime. I tell her that she's losing her mind, and ask if she forgot how to tell time? Without Devon's help, she wins the fight. I don't know how such a wonderful lady can produce such evil spawn as Julie and then Caine. It blows my mind how much they take her for granted. I'm so happy that she decided to stay a little while longer so Mom and Lane could have the chance to know and love her, too.
Devon helps me to the car.
"What?" I am confused at the expression on his face.
He nods his head towards the front seat.
Oh.
"Good afternoon, Mr. Holmes, Lacey," Frank greets us as we enter the car, focusing his gaze on the rearview mirror. He's still got those smiling dark eyes.
Looking around the interior, I take in the black leather, polished chrome, and a multitude of buttons I guess control the stereo. The back seat is large, uncharacteristic of just any car. I was preoccupied the other day coming home from the hospital. All of this could have been in here, for all I know. This must be what money can get you.
"Good afternoon, Frank. Thank you for waiting for us."
"No problem, Sir. Your father just called. He's in town and asked me to relay a message to you." Frank pauses as he looks up in the rearview mirror again. "He is intrigued with the amount of time you are spending with someone and would like to meet her."
Huh. I need him to tell me more about his life, his family. This can't be a one-sided relationship and it seems like it has been thus far. He makes me want to know everything about him. OH. MY. What the hell is going to happen? Our relationship has changed. What are we? Shit! What did I do? I don't have time to date. Dammit, I told myself I wouldn't do this to him. Those blue eyes freaking hypnotize me.
Shaking his head, Devon responds, "Frank, I'm sorry. That's not possible right now. Please tell my father he can meet Lacey some other time."
What? Is he ashamed of me? Maybe it's because I have a child and they'll think badly of me. Hearing the underlying firmness in his answer, I try to read his expression to see if I can understand his motives. When he turns to me, his face softens into a kindhearted gaze. He reaches over, grabs my hand, and brings it to his lips. My hand remains on his lips and my body is once again set on fire. How can he be doing this to me when I'm so focused on keeping Evan in my arms? He drops our hands still united, leans his head back
on the headrest, and stares at me. I do the same.
"Frank, do you have the address where we are going?" he asks.
"Yes, Sir. We should be arriving in about thirty-five minutes."
"Thank you, Frank. I need to speak with Lacey. Buzz me if you need anything." Devon pushes a button and a window I didn't even know about closes us off from the front row.
"Devon?" I question, looking around nervously.
"Lacey, I finally told you how I feel. I'm sorry if I'm a prick, but I can't stop wanting to attack your mouth."
"Oh." I smile, not expecting that. Moving closer, Devon wraps an arm under my knees and the other around my shoulders.
"Take a breath and hold it," he tells me.
I do as he says and shit! Thank God, he told me to hold my breath. He gently lifts me onto his lap, finding my mouth just after I surrender my breath. His hands wander into my hair, feverishly searching out my mouth. I'm so lost with want.
"Damn Lacey." He kisses me again. "You don't know how many times I've wanted to do this and more."
"Devon?"
"Don't! I'm not going to push us any further than this. I just need you to know how bad I want you, Babe. I'm so in love with you."
"Devon?" I’m breathless.
"Please, Lacey. I don't want you to respond. I just have to tell you how I feel. I want to tell the whole damn world how much I feel for you. Please, just let it go. You don't need to say anything."
I nod and give my worries to Devon, who seems to want to take them all away from me. Is it too soon? Do I love him? I can't make the same mistake loving someone too soon. How will I know? I feel this attraction. If I'm honest with myself, I've had it since the night I met him. But it's the little things he's done since meeting him again that turn me into a silly teenager. Um, hello Lacey, you are a teenager. Damn it! I do like him. I might like him, more than like him, but I don't know if it's love.
His tongue memorizes my mouth as it dances with mine and we explore safe areas of each other’s body with our hands. He's very careful to steer away from my ribs. Little acts like that swell my heart. I try to twist my body to learn more of the muscles making up this magnificent man, but it hurts. Instead, my hand falls to the bottom of his shirt where it explores what's underneath. He breaks the kiss and his breaths are short and crisp, relishing in the touch of my hand. His arm continues to cradle me in a loving embrace careful not to hurt me more. His other hand rests on my hip, his fingers kneading the flesh underneath.