by L. U. Ann
Whoa...
Mom turns to watch a cargo ship moving slowly under the Chesapeake Bay Bridge. The discussion is over I assume. I'm alarmed by her ups and downs. It almost seems like they're getting worse.
Lunch is strained, Mom refuses to look at me. I don't know what's going on anymore. I'm going to call Lane as soon as I get back to the apartment. I think Mom's medications are off again. I remember, after a couple of her surgeries, the doctors neglected to realize how her prescriptions might interfere with one another. If her doctor didn't know, shouldn't the pharmacist?
"Lacey, I think we tuckered the little man out," Becca says quietly from the back seat. "He's out like a light in Snoozeville." Aw. "A full belly and he's good to go."
"Wait!" I exclaim, shocked at a ball of fluff in the middle of the road.
"What?" Mom and Becca reply in unison.
"There's an animal in the street, and I think its head just moved. I need to drive around and make sure it's dead, because if it’s not, it's in the middle of the road." My statement is met with eyes rolls from Becca and my mom. Thank Heavens for the side roads on the Eastern Shore. They make it easy to get off Route 50 and drive back to the previous exit. I drive past the fluff again, unable to get a good look.
"Not again, Lacey! You cannot save the world. It's not moving. It’s dead!" Becca yells from the back seat when she realizes I'm getting off the highway again.
"I need to look one more time."
On this third U-turn, I see it.
"Its head moved! Oh no, please don't get hit...," I cry.
"Lacey, you're going to get yourself killed one of these days saving animals," Mom gripes.
Quickly moving to the shoulder, I get out and gauge the traffic to see if I can get to the animal, and then back to the car again safely. It's in such a position that if cars are slow enough, it won't get hit as long as it stays on the lane marker. I observe a few cars drive past. As soon as there's a break in traffic, I quickly run out to grab the poor large bird.
As I get closer, he flaps his wings and in fear, moves further away from me and into traffic.
"Lacey, get back. You’re going to get hit by another car!" Becca yells.
I move back onto the shoulder, looking for my next opportunity to nab it. A semi at the top of the Kent Narrows Bridge must have seen what happened. He slows traffic, allowing me to run out to attempt another rescue. Successful, I run back to the car.
"Shit! Becca, hand me Evan's blanket."
"I'm not giving you Evan's blanket. That’s disgusting."
"Becca, I don't want to get blood all over my car. Give me his damn blanket. I'll buy him a new one!"
"No way. That thing has diseases." She shivers in the back seat.
You've got to be kidding me.
"Becca, I'm on the fucking road, holding a dying bird with cars flying past me driving sixty or more miles an hour. Give me the damn blanket! Sorry, Mom!"
"Sweetie, Becca is right. You are putting your life in jeopardy for an animal. One of these days, you won't be so lucky. You've been hit by a car once. How many times is it going to take for you think before you act?" Mom says, trying to knock some sense into me.
Sorry to disappoint.
"Mom, I know what you mean, but how can I live with myself knowing I left an injured animal dying on the side of the road? Leaving it to suffer when I could have done something to help would kill my conscience." I try to explain my behavior, but fail miserably.
"You know what, Lacey? You'd be eaten by the lion." Becca pipes up. "I think you're a lost cause, Love."
I roll my eyes at her. Finally, she gives up and hands me Evan's blanket while I somehow situate myself so that blood isn't oozing all over my car. Locating my cell phone, I throw it at Becca and tell her to call four-one-one to get the phone number to the Annapolis Emergency Veterinary Hospital. Huffing and puffing, she makes the phone call.
When I walk into the animal hospital holding this helpless creature, a tech escorts me to the back, and allows me to place it on one of their examining tables. The bird, entirely white except for the blood, is heavy as hell but beautiful. Its head is tucked behind its wing as if it's going to sleep. Several techs and a doctor rush over to assess the bird's injuries while the tech who brought me into the back has me follow her to another room. She gives me paperwork to fill out, and says they'll call.
"Please call. I'll drive it to a wildlife rehabilitation sanctuary if needed. Just please, do everything you can to save it," I beg, and quickly notice how itchy I've suddenly become. "Oh no, can I use your restroom?" Pointing me down the hall, I rush in, turn on the water, soap up my arms, and scrub the little white things off.
Ready to throw up at what that animal might have given me, I proceed to the exit. I need a fucking shower.
"Ma'am, would you like this back?" The tech holds up Evan's blanket, erupting a convulsion out of me.
I shake my head no. As attached as Evan is to it, he'll be getting a new one, thank you very much!
Buckling my seatbelt, I cannot help but continue to itch. I feel like they're crawling all over me.
"Um, guys...," I pause. "Um... I think it had lice."
"WHAT?!!" Becca and Mom shout in unison.
"I swear, if you gave me those little varmints, I'm kicking your ass!" Becca yells, causing Mom to gasp at her foul language. "Sorry, Mom! You gave me 'lice-head'? Oh my God, Oh my God, no... This cannot be happening. No!"
"Calm down, Becca, and please watch your language," I snicker. "We'll go get that stuff to kill them and we'll be fine." I cringe internally at the thought and feel a little queasy. I can't freak out. Becca's already doing that.
Evan's not going to be asleep much longer, and Becca is in the back seat rubbing her hands all over her body as if to scrub the bugs away. Now her hands are in her hair, shaking and scratching her scalp.
"They're all over me!" she shudders. "I'm dirty. I have things crawling all over me. And I AM DIRTY!" she shouts, waking Evan.
Oh crap, he doesn't have his blanket. He's going to want his blanket.
"Becca, where's my phone?" I ask, looking to Mom for some help.
"I'm not touching it!" Becca yells, while Mom sits passively.
What on earth is going on with Mom? How can she be quiet at a time like this?
"I need to call Devon!"
She finally picks the phone up as if it has lice all over it, and I quickly make the call.
"Hey Dev, can you do me a huge favor on your way home? I need you to go to Babies R Us and pick up another... You know..." Crap, I can't say anything about the blanket out loud, because it will upset Evan. I should have texted him. "Oh, nothing’s wrong except... I kind of rescued a bird that may or may not have had lice."
"IT HAD LICE!" Becca yells.
I turn to Mom who is in her own little gross bubble, not wanting to be part of this conversation.
"It may have had lice and I threw something VERY valuable away." I say, trying to get him to understand what could possibly be so valuable to Evan. "Yes! ... Well, gross. I can't give it to him after washing it in hot water or the special soap. Yuck, Honey! ... Okay, thanks Love." I end the call.
"Okay, Devon is taking care of that. I think we need to stop by Walgreens and pick up some of that stuff to kill lice."
"You could transmit them to anyone in the store," Mom says.
"Okay, we'll go through the drive thru," I say. Luckily, no one is in line.
"May I help you?" The pharmacy tech asks.
"Um... yeah. I kind of, sort of can't come in because I think I have lice all over me. I rescued an injured wild bird and it was covered in bugs."
"Lacey, shut up. Tell her to get the shampoo, and let's leave!" Becca stresses, still rubbing her arms and legs, and scratching her scalp.
"You realize it's psychological, Becca." Turning back to the pharmacy tech, I ask, "Anyway, could I please have four boxes of the shampoo that kills lice?"
"Four? We need more than four. What if the first ones don't
work?!" she says, freaking out.
This reminds me of our little trip to locate a 'working' pregnancy test. It's nice being on this end of the freak-out zone for once.
"Ma'am," the tech says, regaining my attention. "There are two in each box. Would you like two boxes instead? That's four treatments."
"NO! We'll take them all," freak-out girl yells to the poor, undeserving tech.
I agree to take the four boxes, each containing two treatments. I pay quickly so that we can get home.
"You better not 'drive like you're gray' or 'double nickel' it. Take me home and step on it!" Becca cries.
"I'm not going to get a ticket or put us at risk because your mind is playing tricks on you."
"Tricks? You think my brain is playing tricks? No, my bestie does the stupidest thing, trying to get herself killed, walking out in the middle of the highway to save an animal that's probably going to die anyway. Then said 'animal' gives us cooties, and in the process, you discard something very precious to Evan over here. My brain is NOT playing tricks. My bestie is playing 'lice capades'!"
"Love, you need to calm your lice anxiety or I'm going to ask for some valium to go along with your treatment."
She rolls her eyes while my mom sits quietly, trying not to laugh at Becca's freak out. It's a rare sight and one you don't want to miss. It can be very entertaining.
Everyone's treated, clothes are washed, and things are back to normal except in my car. I don't think I'll be getting back in there for a while. I’m using Clorox wipes to disinfect the knobs that I touched while walking into the apartment. When my phone rings, I answer without looking to see who is calling. Huge mistake. Automatically thinking it was Devon and answering with 'Hey, Babe' is not one of my smartest moments.
"Hey, Babe, to you, too."
I gasp, and my eyes widen as I glance down at the phone. Shit!
"I didn't know who was calling. What do you want, Caine?"
"Lacey, I'm sorry I yelled at you yesterday. I pay you money every month and feel like that money should be used for me to see my son."
"Caine, if you're so worried about paying child support, why don't you just let Devon adopt him, and then you'll never have to pay another dime?" I ask. It irritates me that money is more important than the life he helped create. How can someone be so callous? Okay, Lacey, you need to quit. You want that monster out of Evan's life before he taints it. The line remains quiet. I wish I knew what was going through his mind.
"Lacey, we were young. I'm not ready to be a father." Caine says. I hear his annoyed tone as if he thinks I'm supposed to understand where he’s coming from.
"Are you kidding me?" I spit the words into the phone. "You think I was? I wasn't ready, but it happened, and I'm taking responsibility. I cannot believe you."
My teeth clench as I struggle to keep myself in check. Devon peeks around the corner, his eyes heavy with sadness. I can't look at him right now. It hurts too much. I didn't even realize he was home. "You know what, Caine? Give him up. It will be for the best. You don't know how to be a father."
The line is silent for a minute or two.
"I don't know. I need to go. I'll call you later," Caine says in an exasperated voice just before hanging up.
What the hell was that?
Two days later, while lying in bed with Devon, my phone lights up with a number that makes me cringe. Even though I can't stand it, I still know I need to answer.
"Lacey, I've been thinking about what you said about Evan." Caine is quiet. "As much as I hate doing this, I'm never around to be the father Evan should have."
I sit up in bed, with a quickened heart rate. I pray he's going to do what I think he's going to do.
"Lacey?" he asks, sounding a little choked up.
"Yeah, Caine, what exactly are you telling me?" I ask, trying to hide my excitement at the possibility. Devon sits up, too, but turns so that he's watching me, intent on learning the answer when I do. His piercing eyes are full of hope.
"What I'm saying, Lacey, is I'll go through with the adoption on one condition."
Half of me wants to roll my eyes because there are always conditions with him, but the other half of me is eagerly awaiting Evan and my freedom.
"What's the condition?"
"I stop paying child support immediately," he greedily says.
Cue eye roll.
"Um, I'll need to talk to Devon," I say, but he’s looking at me, shaking his head and mouthing 'Say okay, we will do it'. I smile at the happiness covering his face. If he could jump up and down on the bed, I bet he would. "Caine? Devon says okay. I'll talk to my lawyer and begin the process."
"You don't know how hard this is for me, Lacey.” A sniffle travels through the phone line. “I don't want you to think I'm being callous or greedy. I just think it's what's best for Evan."
Callous and greedy, yes. Best for Evan, also yes. Thank you, sweet Jesus, for allowing Caine to find his heart.
When I end the phone call, Devon and I tackle one another in utter bliss.
"You're going to be a daddy," I say.
Devon diverts his eyes in thought.
"Lacey, I'm already a daddy." He smiles. "It's just going to be on paper now."
I cry, moved by the awe-inspiring love the man I've chosen has for Evan and me.
"I love you so much, Devon."
"I'll call the attorney's office tomorrow and see when we can get in," he says with hope. He bounces to the edge of the bed to stand up, but turns around to my side of the bed. "I love you, too, with all that I am. I need to go officially give my son a kiss. I'll be right back."
I watch him walk out of the room and my heart swells at the image of us as a family. Finally.
Devon and I walk hand in hand into the office I've visited twice now. I cannot believe we're here! Devon has made sure we were thirty minutes early, just in case we can be seen earlier. As we wait for our appointment, Devon sits, his leg bouncing. I lean over, resting a hand on my anxious boyfriend’s leg. He turns to look at me and smiles, then leans over quickly and locks lips with me.
Pulling away, I laugh at the playful smile on his face. He is as excited as I am. With my divorce final last week, the feeling is exhilarating. I finally feel free of Caine. Well, all but the hold he has on Evan, and we are here to dissolve that, as well.
I'm so thankful that bastard is as greedy as he is. The door opens and I help the over-enthusiastic boyfriend to my left into the lawyer's office. Mr. and Mrs. Holmes had wanted to be here, but Devon refused to pick a time that was convenient to their schedules. He wanted the earliest appointment possible. My eager man can't wait to legally be Evan's daddy. I blush at the thought that everything is finally going right in my world.
"So, Mr. Holmes, you are looking to adopt Mrs. Rog-, sorry, I mean, Ms. Edwards son?"
Devon nods anxiously.
"Okay. Well, there are a number of things we must begin working on. Physicals for both of you, both of your birth certificates, Evan's birth certificate. Lacey, I have your divorce decree, so we're fine there. A copy of your social security cards, oh, and most importantly, few judges in Maryland will process an adoption for an unmarried couple."
What? My face falls. I just got a divorce, and now, marriage again?
"Lacey? Earth to Lacey?" Devon calls me from my thoughts.
I turn slowly, wondering what could possibly be going through his mind.
"Lacey, you know I love you and want us to be a family forever, right?"
I nod.
"Will you please do me the honor of marrying me?"
Huh? Speechless, I practically whisper my 'yes'.
"Good, now how soon can we get this taken care of?" Devon asks the lawyer as I sit in stunned silence.
This is exactly what I want. We've been together for over a year now. We're living together. He's never hurt Evan or me. For goodness sakes, I am all for him adopting Evan, but when the word marriage came out of the lawyer's mouth, I froze. It will be fine. I want this. Yes
, Devon is my knight in shining armor. He is everything I could ever ask in a partner. Yes, we're doing this.
I glance over at Devon, and his smile helps reassure me that everything is going to be okay.
As we walk out of the lawyer’s office, he pushes me up against the building, and cups my face.
"Lacey, that was not the right proposal. I'm sorry I did it on the spot. I promise I will make it up to you," he says close to my ear, causing me to shiver. "As long as you promise to give me the same answer." He raises his eyebrows up and down in amusement.
I don't answer him yet. Let him sweat it out.
Tonight, our parents come over for dinner so we can tell them the news. Both my parents and Devon's couldn't be happier. Mrs. Holmes wants to go dress shopping next week. I can tell that makes my mom a little uneasy. I decline, telling them we will be doing this quickly with the local justice of peace, and we'll plan a big wedding for next year. It takes Devon's persistence and patience to calm both sides down over that detail. I guess I forgot to tell our parents earlier about waiting for a big wedding. Oops.
"Mom, it's Evan's bedtime," I say, walking from his bedroom to dry the dinner dishes.
"Oh, one more story won't hurt," Mom returns.
"One more and that's it. It's past his bedtime and you know how he is when his routine is off," I yell from the kitchen.
Dishes are dried and put away, counters are wiped, and lights turned down. It’s well past one more story time. When I walk into Evans room, I see a number of books on the bed, and Mom continues to read to him. Reading is great and all, but so is sleep.
"Mrs. Edwards," Devon says kindly. "It's time."
Mom all but huffs and puffs. With a quick kiss to Evan’s cheek, she tells him how much she loves him, storms out past me, and heads straight for the front door.
“Mom, wait, please. I just ask that you listen when I say only one more story, one lollipop, or even one TV show. I'm his mom."
"I simply wanted to read to my grandson. That was all I was doing. What is the harm in that? I love him so much and miss him. I wanted to spend extra time with him." Mom rattles on.