by Patrick Gray
Kenoyer clan, you all have been a remarkable extended family. Doug, Megan, Heidi, and Ellen, thank you for watching our kids so Donna could join me in Spain.
Cambria, Joshua, and Olivia Gray, you are the most amazing children. You have influenced my words in these pages more than you will ever know. Thank you for the trust you have placed in me as your dad. The world will be a better place because of who you will each become. I love each of you and am a better man because of you.
Donna, thank you for your undying love and support and for believing in me even when I give you reason not to. You have been a rock in so many ways. I can never adequately thank you for all you are, but thank you for being an incredible mother, an amazing wife, and my partner in life. I fall more in love with you every day. You make me better in every way, and because of you, I get to see how much God loves me.
— FROM JUSTIN —
As a person living with a progressive neuromuscular disease, I’ve had to relearn a lot of things, learn a lot about myself, and let other people into my journey. The following individuals have been in my court for many years, serving, loving, and sharing life with me.
Chad and Jennifer Lansford: Though our paths don’t cross anymore, you will always have a special place in my heart. I love you and miss you.
Jeff and Danielle Bolster: Thank you for always being there for us in San Diego, for laughter, and lots of fond memories.
Jim Johnson, my mentor: Since college, you have been my champion and prayer warrior. I am filled with joy every time we talk, and your heavenly insight has been invaluable in my life. Thank you.
My old college friends (now Idaho transplants) Ben and Joelle Powers, Mark and Melissa Michelson, Joe and Kelly Bankard, and new Idaho friends Leon and Carly Letson: Thank you for the laughs, love, and support. You made our transition to Idaho easier. Love you guys a ton.
My extended family, the Karlson crew: Gary and Maureen, Erik and Leticia, Marissa and Paris, and to all my nieces and nephews, your love and support for me and my marriage to Kirstin has meant the world. I love you and miss you.
My parents, Floyd “Jim” and Mavis Skeesuck: You have been amazing parents, and your unending love and support of all of my crazy ideas never ceases to amaze me. Thank you for continually praying for me and putting up with me as a kid. Remember, it was always Josie’s fault.
Ryan, Tara, Jillian, and Zach Skeesuck: Thank you for your love and support throughout all of this. Ryan, thanks for your guidance, mentorship, and for being such an amazing big brother.
Josie and Timel Ragland: I can’t thank you both enough for being behind me since day one of this whole crazy adventure. Josie, thanks for being the best little sister ever.
Jaden, Noah, and Lauren Skeesuck: You three are my light in this dark world. Thank you for being the kids God intended you to be and for loving me despite my disability. I hope this book can be something you can lean on when you feel you can’t go forward in life. I love you all very much!
To Kirstin: I love living every day by your side. I thank God every day that I get the privilege of sharing life with you and exploring this world together. You have made me a better man, husband, and father to our three very independent children. I am blessed to have you in my life, loving me despite my faults and putting up with all of my crazy ideas, no matter how ridiculous they sound. I love you from head to toe, inside and out, and look forward to our next adventure together.
DISCUSSION GUIDE
Patrick and Justin have been friends their entire lives, witnessing each other’s many trials and triumphs. Do you have a lifelong friend like this? How does this friendship differ from others in your life?
When Justin finally received his MAMA diagnosis, Patrick was quick to say, “Skeez, whatever you need, I’m here.” In your trying times, how do your friends show up for you? What can you do to come alongside a needy friend this week?
Patrick’s boss surprised him by allowing him to take time off for the Camino, even though it was much more time than someone in Patrick’s position could usually take. And when Justin needed a specialized wheelchair, their friends’ company funded the entire cost. Have you ever been the recipient of this kind of radical generosity? How did you receive it?
Do you have an “impossible dream”? What are some steps you can take to make that dream a reality, to make the impossible possible?
Throughout the Camino, Justin and Patrick met travelers who, in their own way, were on the trail to push past whatever adversity they felt was holding them back. If you were to go on the Camino, what transformation would you seek?
On the first day of the Camino, it seemed as if everything went wrong—Patrick forgot his glasses, the terrain was steep and muddy, and Justin’s wheelchair didn’t survive the rough trail (which led to a host of other problems). Imagine yourself in their shoes: Would you give up on the trip, or keep going? Why?
In chapter 9, Patrick, Justin, and Ted decide to take a shortcut to avoid a particularly difficult part of the trail; yet, after hours of walking, they end up not far from where they started. Have you ever failed to “measure twice, cut once”? What happened?
We see Patrick struggle to accept help from others throughout the Camino. Can you relate? What can you do to receive help from others more graciously?
What has Justin and Patrick’s story taught you about the value of vulnerability? Of relationship? Of community?
In chapter 13, Patrick muses, “The Camino is filled with people who are dealing with something—searching for a safe place to face their demons. How different would the world be if every church offered that safe place?” What can you do today—even if it’s a small step—to create a safe place in your church?
One of the most powerful moments on the Camino happens at the Cruz de Ferro, where Patrick leaves behind the burden of doing everything on his own. What burden do you need to leave behind today? How can you support others on their journeys?
THE EARLY YEARS
Justin and Patrick at high school graduation (1993)
Childhood friends: (L to R) Patrick, friend, Justin (1979)
Reunited! Home from college at Patrick’s house (1994)
GROWING IN LIFE TOGETHER
Justin giving his best man’s toast at Patrick and Donna’s wedding (1997). He had the whole room laughing and may have told an embarrassing story or two.
Patrick’s turn as the best man, in Justin and Kirstin’s wedding (2000)
Our friendship has always been defined by adventure. In 2001, we traveled with our wives to Europe (L to R: Donna, Patrick, Kirstin, Justin).
At the Skeesuck family cabin in Donnelly, Idaho, the weekend of the infamous “bat incident”
Patrick carrying Justin out of the warm Caribbean water in Ocho Rios, Jamaica (2007)
ON THE CAMINO
Our first day on the Camino, we faced the challenge of the Pyrenees Mountains.
Enjoying a brief moment of rest in the middle of the Pyrenees
As if the steepness weren’t challenging enough, we also encountered plenty of thick mud.
In Pamplona, discussing options with a local welder for repairing Justin’s wheelchair
Resting in Estella with Team Ted
At the top of Alto de Perdón (Hill of Forgiveness), outside of Pamplona, a monument dedicated to pilgrims
THE JOURNEY CONTINUES . . .
A long, hot day in the Meseta!
Cruz de Ferro, a beautiful place to leave burdens behind
The steep climb up O Cebreiro with Joe out front
We will never forget those we met on the Camino. Without the help of people like these, we would never have made it to Santiago!
Patrick playing the guitar outside an albergue in Sarria
Almost there! Looking at the city of Santiago de Compostela from the monument of Monte do Gozo
Brotherhood: Pursuing life with one another leads to amazing adventures. Justin and Patrick embracing a quiet moment together at the Samos Monastery.
> NOTES
[1] 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
[2] See Matthew 22:37-39.
[3] Matthew 25:35-40
ABOUT THE AUTHORS
BORN IN THE SAME small town just a couple of days apart, Justin Skeesuck and Patrick Gray are blessed with a unique relationship. Their childhood adventures and shared interests have made for many moments of laughter, joy, and treasured memories.
When they were fifteen years old, a car accident triggered a dormant disease in Justin’s body, resulting in a life lived in a wheelchair.
Though life led Justin and Patrick down different paths and to colleges a thousand miles apart, their childhood friendship has not only survived, but has thrived in their adult years. Though their relationship has been put to the test by distance, time apart, and Justin’s progressive neuromuscular disease, the two grow closer with each passing year and each new adventure.
In 2014, these lifelong friends did the impossible—together they tackled a five-hundred-mile pilgrimage through Spain known as the Camino de Santiago, or Way of St. James. While most people attempt this epic journey on foot, Justin traveled the entire distance in his wheelchair, pushed by Patrick (and others). As Patrick physically pushed Justin over mountains, through deserts, and across fields, Justin pushed Patrick, mentally and emotionally, beyond fear and insecurity, into a whole new world of faith and freedom.
Their journey is a brilliant metaphor for the lives they have been blessed to live. Just as neither could have accomplished the rigorous trek on his own, their successes in life are largely attributed to the way they have pushed each other and the way they have allowed others to push them.
Now they work together, sharing unapologetic words of hope and faith through their writing and speaking, as they share the message that we can achieve more together.
Both men love music, road trips, and driving their wives crazy.
Justin lives in Eagle, Idaho, with his wife, Kirstin, and their three children: Jaden, Noah, and Lauren.
Patrick lives in nearby Meridian, Idaho, with his wife, Donna, and their three children: Cambria, Joshua, and Olivia.
LEARN MORE AT PUSHINC.US.