“We’ll be down in a minute dad.” Lane says as he sits up.
“No worries. Take your time.” Then he winks. Ewww!
Lane must feel my reaction to his father. He sits up a little further. He is now blocking his father’s view of me. Just for comfort,I slide a little closer to Lane. When the door closes, Lane says “Let’s get out of here. I’m ready to get this over and done so I can have you to myself.” He grabs my hand and drags me into a big bear hug. God, I love it when he does that. I moan. I just love him. I may be stupid but I do.
Lane
“Lane, your home?” Mom asks. “This is a surprise. Aren’t finals soon?” She looks from
me to Keira and back to Keira with a frown. I know she’s wondering what we were doing in my bedroom. I know what she’s hoping we weren’t doing. Just to piss her off, I want to take Keira upstairs and make her come so hard she screams loud enough for my mom to hear- for the whole neighborhood to hear. But, I would never put Keira in an uncomfortable space. Clearly, she’s already uncomfortable. Meeting my parents to announce we’re married is enough. I’ll hold off on telling them about Peanut for a while.
I’m proud of Peanut and my wife but my folks won’t be happy. I will tell them without Keira being around. She doesn’t have to be front and center to the fall out and stress this will cause.
No doubt they’ll be pissed. When my folks are pissed they become venomous. I won’t subject my wife and Peanut to it. Ignoring my mother’s snobby tone, I pull Keira closer, “ I was in town to see Keira and wanted to get a few things before heading back to school.”
“Oh. I can only guess what you made a stop,” She’s raising her eyebrows as if to suggest she knows what we have been doing, “to visit Keira?” She runs her eyes up and then down Keira, “It is Keira, right?”
My mother has issues. I can see it more now than ever. This whole situation is going to blow up. Everything in me wants to tell her Keira is my wife and the mother of my Peanut, but I’ll wait like I promised Keira until after finals.
Before Keira can respond to mother’s foolish question-she knows who Keira is- I jump in, “You know Keira mother. And for the record, I stopped to get more clothes.” I hold up the duffle bag in my hand.
My father laughs. “That’s not what I saw when I walked in.” He winks at me. Keira burrows in to my side slightly.
“What you saw was kissing. And nothing else. “
“If I hadn’t walked in it would be more.” He gave a pointed look at me and then my mother.
“I have what I need. See you guys in week or so. Let’s go Keira.” I grab her hand and before I can get out the door, my mother calls my name,.
“Lane? Before you go, can I talk with you for a moment?” She is standing there with her arms crossed and her foot tapping.
I pass Keira the keys and wait for her to walk out the door, “Yes, what can I do for you mother?”
“Umm, I know you and father have talked, but I hope you’re being careful. This young lady is not like us. She’s …different. So, make sure you’re protecting yourself.”
“That’s funny. I know she is different. I love that about her. Keira is the best thing that’s ever happen to me. If you don’t hear anything else I say mother, hear this and take it to heart. I love her. Not some infatuation either. I really love Keira. You need to accept that now and make peace with it.”
I walk out the door before she can speak.
Keira
The week is finally over .Lane and Sloan have driven to my dorms and have packed me up. I don’t really have that much.I could have caught a bus but Lane insisted. Sloan was just along for the ride.
Sloan is the first person Lane told about the baby and our marriage. Sloan was more than happy to help. He keeps refusing to let me do anything. I can’t even carry my backpack.
This journey is so bittersweet. I love Lane and I want a life with him but I want a future for myself. I have been having this debate in my head for days now. I wish that Peanut would have waited a little longer. Lane keeps telling me, as if he knows my doubts, that it will get better. Sometimes I think he’s talking about the nausea and at other times I think he’s talking about the life we have.
Today we’ll move my stuff into the pool house and then we’re off to see the parents and deliver the news. Lane is excited but I’m terrified. My aunt Debb is going to have a fit. My mother? Who knows. She probably won’t care. Lane’s parents are going to have a bitch fit. I know it. He knows it too. He asked me if he could go alone. But I refuse to let him walk this journey alone. We are in it together.
I finally got enrolled in all my summer classes. They are online. Taking online classes is great because I seem to sleep all day and then I’m nauseous the rest of the day. Lane has his internship paperwork filled out. He’s ready to turn in once he talks to his parents tonight. I am a little sad for him. He seems to be giving up so much for me. But Lane keeps saying this is a compromise. We are both giving up something for each other and for Peanut.
I can’t believe I am calling my baby Peanut. Lane for the last week has been talking to my belly through Skype. He even threatened to drive to get me early if I didn’t eat more this week. It’s so scary to know that I am going to be a parent. But I am going to be someone’s mother. I better get used to it.
Lane
She looks both beautiful and sick. I can tell Keira’s not eating well. Earlier this week when we Skyped, she told me she was too nauseous to keep anything down. I had to threaten to drive to her college to get her to try to eat a few crackers for me. I was serious. Now, looking at her, she looks beautiful because I know she has my Peanut in her belly. But she looks tired, like she could use a nap. A really long nap. Sloan is going to sit up front and let Keira sleep in the back while I drive. He keeps looking at me as we load the last of her suitcases in the Rover, “What?” I have to ask.
“I just can’t believe you’re gonna be a dad.” I shrug. The word dad doesn’t sting like it should for a nineteen year old. “And you’re married?”
“Dude. We’ve already gone over this. Like a few days ago. I love Keira. I love Peanut.”
Sloan bursts into laughter. “You call your kid Peanut? Dude. Who are you and where is my best friend?”
“I’m here. But I’m serious. I’d do anything for Keira and this baby. “
“I know. You’re facing your parents and giving up football all on the same day. That’s pretty bold. Pretty serious. But I respect you. Keira is great. Hell, I still love her on some level.”
My eyes flash at the last comment.
“Whoa, Bro. I love her like a sister now. I know she’s always loved you. She always will. But if you screw this up, I’ll bust you up and won’t think twice about it.” Sloan says as he steps forward to let me know he is serious. His eyes meet mine. His jaw bone looks like it may snap. He is deadly serious.
“I get it. I won’t mess up. If I do I want you to bust me up.”
“Remember you said that.” He laughs as walks to the passenger side of the car.
After a three hour ride and packing, I don’t know if seeing our parents tonight is a good idea. But, I can’t put it off any longer. My dad knows something is up. He’s been calling to see when I am coming home. I gotta do this. I don’t want Keira to go. She is exhausted and she hasn’t eaten much today. Her Aunt Debb is expecting us to be at her apartment later. Time to man up.
Keira
“Not too bad, huh?” Lane says as we pull away from Aunt Debb’s apartment.
I shake my head. I can’t speak over the lump in my throat. I feel like I have disappointed her so much. She expected so much from me. We worked hard to get me this far and I ruined it. Lane has no idea how much work and sacrifice have gone into getting me to college. Aunt Debb didn’t say it but I could see through the smile on her face. She was sad for me. Disappointed. Just like my mother.
“One parent down and two to go. Keira, I can do this by myself.”
“No La
ne.We talked about this.” I don’t want him to do this alone.
“I know but it’s been a really long day. I don’t want to throw you in the lion’s den tonight. Let me go by myself.”
“Why? Why don’t you really want me to go?”
“ I just told you why. You’re tired and you have not really had a full meal today.”
“Whatever Lane! Fine, don’t take me. I can go cook and clean while you go conquer your parents and the rest of the world while you’re at it.”
He narrows his eyes at me. “Exactly my point! You’re tired. I am dropping you off. You don’t have to like it Keira but you need to rest and back off this superwoman routine. Sloan and I had to fight you to pack you up and drive you back. I have to fight you to eat. I will not let my parents hurt you. If I take you tonight they will. Just trust me.”
Before I can argue, Lane is on the interstate headed to the pool house ready to deliver me home. To be alone. I know I am tired but I don’t want them to hurt him. I don’t know what to do so I let him drop me off at the pool house and watch him drive away to his parent’s house.
When Lane comes back a few hours later, he looks as exhausted as I feel. I asked him about his parent’s reaction and he refuses to tell me what they said. Which means it was pretty bad. He was right. I had a cup of soup and slept the whole time he was gone. I was tired. Even if I didn’t admit it, I was glad I didn’t go with Lane.
It feels great to have him slide into bed with me after worrying about him for the last few hours. I wonder if it will always be like this.It makes me sad that he can’t talk to me about his parents. I know he is protecting me but I want him to be able to open up to me about anything.
Instead of pushing, I turn over and kiss his beautiful lips. He’s my husband. I love him so much. He kisses me back and runs his hands down my hips. “I love Keira Callahan.” He whispers.
“I love you Lane Callahan.” I whisper back and he unbuttons my shirt and makes love to me over and over again.
Lane
Meeting with my dad was a mistake. All he wants to do is cause trouble. He has the audacity to judge Keira and her family. He claims that Keira is like her mother. He thinks she trapped me. My dad thinks that Keira, my sweet wife, stalked me and seduced me. I just let him talk. But then when he claims that she is screwing around on me I’ve had enough. It’s worse than the night I told them about our marriage and Peanut. For weeks, they have been silent and now this? I am about to lose my cool in this fancy bistro.
“If you say another word about Keira I will leave and never speak to you again.” He knows I am serious.
“Does the truth hurt or scare you Lane?” He has the audacity to ask. He’s so smug and arrogant. I can imagine that’s the same face he gives to all the women he’s screwed around with. I’m sure they fall for his faux confidence. But all I see is man scared to get old.
“ Are you joking? You have no idea what you are talking about.I begged her to marry me when she found out she was pregnant with your grandchild.” I have to take a breath. I can feel my anger rising. “Listen and listen good. Dad, if you or mom ever want to see my son or daughter and your grandchild you better drop this crap. I’ve had enough.”
My dad grabs my hand as I try to leave. “Lane. Wait. Just listen. Look at her family for God’s sake. Her mother barely raised her. She has you fooled by thinking it was all your idea. But she knew you’d offer to marry her. I know women like her and her mother…”
“That’s it. I’m done. Stay away from me and my wife.” I can’t take it so I walk out.
I am cranky as crap. I haven’t really talked to Keira today. I’m exhausted. The work assignments are heavy and the thought of school makes me grumpy. Going home to a grumpy wife who is tired is not what I feel like doing. But, I love Keira and I know she needs me. So I head home after work.
Keira is asleep. Dinner is on the stovetop. I can eat and study then head to bed.
Part II
Keira
Oh no. There’s blood.
“Lane.” I can barely speak. This can’t be happening. Not now. “Lane, wake up!” I scream.
He can’t hear me. “Okay I can do this.” The dull ache in my back tightens slightly as I get up. I can’t do it. Oh God not my baby. Please God, no.
I slowly crawl to the bathroom door and open it.
“Lane!” I close my eyes in pain and scream his name.
He bolts upright to a sitting position immediately,“What’s wrong?”
Before I know it he’s at my side. “Keira, baby, what the matter?”
“It hurts.” I cry out in pain. “It shouldn’t hurt.”
He looks at the trail of blood from where I’ve been crawling on the floor. “Holy crap, Keira, your bleeding. I’m calling an ambulance.”
I nod.
Lane
I am so tired .Between school and work I am exhausted. I know Keira wants to talk. We haven’t seen much of each other in the last few weeks. She’s been home alone most days. At sixteen weeks, the nausea is gone but she still sleeps a lot. Fall classes just started. I registered full time and I work as a full time intern. I need to study more, but I need to work on the projects I’ve been assigned to at the firm. This has been a hard few months. I work all day and study in my downtime at night. I fall in the bed exhausted.
Keira has tried adjust. She cooks every day and cleans. Her grades are great. Peanut is growing strong. But she’s lonely. I know she is. She could go to campus but she wants to be able to rest during the day since we only have my car. My parents made sure to let me know the night I told them about Peanut that all I could keep was my car. They would no longer be helping me in anyway.
Gramps says they are in shock. They’ll get over it once the baby comes. But who knows. My dad says I’ve ruined his political career but I doubt it was me. It was probably one of the many assistants he’s banged over the years. The campaign wasn’t going well before Keira and I were married so I refuse to take the fall for that.
All of that means nothing as I watch my wife whimpering in pain on the bathroom floor. I don’t think I can take much more. I want to run out of here. I called Gramps as the ambulance pulled up. I’ll send Sloan a text once we get to the hospital.
“Keira, baby, it’s gonna be okay.” I say it even though I know it’s not. I didn’t miss the look on the face of the paramedic as they put her in the ambulance. I don’t think she’s really coherent. She’s not really talking just moaning in pain.
I am so scared. This can’t be happening. It just can’t. She’s only sixteen weeks pregnant. The doctor said everything was fine at the last visit. But there is so much blood.
“We’re here Mr.Callahan.” The lady EMT says as we pull up to the hospital emergency room. “You’ll need to do a little paperwork. Just stop at the desk while we get your wife settled.”
I shake my head. “I’m not leaving her.”
“I know you want to help your wife. We have to get her settled so you have time to talk with the admissions counselor.” The male paramedic says gently. Before I can’t speak, Gramps walks in behind me.
“You go ahead Lane, I have the insurance information. Go take care of your wife.”
Keira is laying quietly as they transfer her from the stretcher to the bed. The room is cold and pale with blaring lights shining on her. The paramedics gather their materials and leave quietly.
“The nurse should be here shortly.” The paramedic says quietly.
“I’m already here” The nurse says as she enters.
Keira
I have searched my mind over and over. I did everything right. So why am I having a miscarriage? The doctor confirmed what I already knew. My baby is dying inside me.
My husband is silent. The doctor explains that the fetus is still inside my body and will have to be removed. “The fetus in no longer viable. I’m so sorry,” he says. The tears create a curtain of blurriness as they slide down my cheeks. Lane is at my side holding my hand. His br
eathing catches. He flinches at the words. “We will have to perform a small procedure to clean the uterus. The nurse will prep you soon.” And just like that the doctor leaves.
My resolve breaks. My baby is dead. My baby is dead. “I know baby. I know. Let it out.” Lane says as he holds me to his chest. I clutch my belly. I don’t want this to be happening to me - to us.
They move my bed to another area of the hospital. It’s cold. “Please slide up.” The nurse asks. She’s speaking but I can’t hear any words. I can feel Lane’s presence but I can’t look him in the eye. He rubs the hair from my eyes and kisses my forehead. His voice is a low hum. He’s trying to comfort me. But I can hear his sniffles. Don’t cry baby. His tears are running from his face into my hair.
“I’m sorry.” I whisper.
“Shh.” Is all he says.
Another nurse enters the room to escort Lane to the waiting area. He kisses me on the lips. “I love you. I’ll be here when you wake up.”
Lane
Its like de ja vu. I am waiting again for Keira as they take my baby from her body. Gramps is waiting for me. Sloan is here, too, I walk into my Gramps strong embrace.
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