Hattie huddled in the bathroom, her blood running hot and cold in dizzying, equal measure. She had come within inches of shoving her new husband onto the bed and pouncing on him. Feeling his hands on her bare skin had been more arousing than anything she had experienced in the last ten years.
She hadn’t been celibate. But still…holy cow.
It took her three tries to button her lavender silk blouse. The cream linen trousers she stepped into were part of the outrageously expensive new wardrobe that now filled two large Louis Vuitton suitcases and a garment bag.
She looked in the mirror, wincing at her crazy tousled hair. Nothing to do but to put it up again. Ana had promised to collect the wedding finery and make sure it got back to the house. So all that was left for Hattie to do was to slip into low-heeled, gold leather sandals and wash her face.
She added fresh lip gloss, took the shine off her nose with a dash of powder, and spritzed her favorite perfume at her throat. What had Luc been thinking as he undressed her? Did he have any feelings left for her at all? Or was it only sex? What if she had turned in his arms and kissed him? Would she have been able to read his face?
He might feel the tug of attraction, but he was no green kid unable to control his body. Hell would probably freeze over before Luc would ever think about having a real relationship with Hattie, whether he saw her naked or not. He liked having her at his mercy. She had invited that with her artless marriage proposal. But Luc was thinking about sex…not a wistful reunion of lovers.
Luc had gained a heck of a lot of sexual experience since they parted. Hattie was old news.
Thinking of the women Luc had probably invited into his bed over the years was a bad thing to do on her wedding day. It only increased her misery. She’d had her chance. And being with Luc again made her rethink her youthful decision for the umpteenth time. Luc’s money gave him power. No doubt about it. But from the perspective of ten years down the road, she admitted ruefully that he wouldn’t have used the inequality in their bank accounts to control her, no matter what her mother said.
Her mother’s take on life had always been hard-edged. Early disappointments had made her suspicious of people and their motives. Hattie had tried not to follow suit. But perhaps unconsciously that inherent attitude of distrust had been largely to blame for Hattie’s breakup with Luc.
When she could procrastinate no longer, she slowly opened the bathroom door. Luc looked up and stared. Something arced across the room between them.
He cleared his throat. “I’ll go change now. Why don’t you play with the baby? I won’t be long.”
Before she could respond, he was gone.
Twenty minutes later, amidst the chaos of getting everything and everyone packed up for the return trip, she finally saw her husband again. He was wearing dark slacks and a pale blue dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up. His casual, masculine elegance took her breath away.
It shocked her to realize that she and Luc were not returning on the plane with the rest of the group. And Luc didn’t take the time to explain, leaving Hattie to build scenarios in her head, each more unlikely than the next.
Ana stood by as Hattie said one last goodbye to the baby who had become so dear. When Angela was still alive, Hattie had been extremely fond of her tiny niece…as any doting aunt would. But now…now that Hattie played the role of mother, the bond was fierce and unbreakable. She couldn’t pinpoint a single instant when it had happened. But the connection was substantial. As much as she was looking forward to spending time with Luc, it pained her to say goodbye to Deedee.
So much was still uncertain. And the baby was so helpless.
Ana patted Hattie’s shoulder. “Don’t worry…please. We’ll watch over her as if she were our own.”
Hattie handed over the sleepy child and forced a smile. “I know you will. She adores you and Sherman already. I wouldn’t trust her with anyone else.” The captain signaled Luc, and Luc began ushering everyone toward the boat.
Leo lingered to speak to Hattie. “I hope you know what you’re doing.”
She smiled wryly. “Do any of us ever really know what we’re doing? I’m trying my best, Leo. It’s all I can do.”
He hesitated. “Call me if you need anything,” he said gruffly. “And be good to my brother.”
Before she could respond, he loped toward the end of the dock and boarded the cabin cruiser.
A mournful toot of the horn heralded departure. Luc rejoined Hattie, and they both watched and waved as the vessel moved away from the pilings, picked up speed and slowly skimmed out of sight.
Hattie shifted her feet restlessly. The sun was lower in the sky now, and a breeze had picked up, alleviating some of the heat. “Why didn’t we go with them?”
Luc took her arm, leading her back toward the house. “It’s been a long, stressful day. I thought it might be nice to relax here for the night. I’ve ordered a helicopter to pick us up at ten in the morning. He’ll take us to the Atlanta airport, and we’ll catch our flight to Key West from there.”
“Oh.”
He must have misread her quiet syllable as lack of enthusiasm, because he frowned. “I’m sorry I’m not taking you somewhere more exotic…like Paris, or St. Moritz. But with Eddie still a loose cannon, I thought it would be wiser to stay where we could get home quickly if need be.”
“I think you’re right.”
Conversation evaporated as they neared the house. Hattie’s heart was pounding in her breast. Two people alone on the proverbial deserted island. What happened next?
The truth was anticlimactic. Luc paused on the porch, running a hand through his hair, and for the first time that day, looking uncertain. “Are you hungry at all? We have leftovers.”
Hattie had been too nervous earlier to eat much at their wedding meal. “Well, I…”
“It might be nice to sit out on the beach and watch the water while we eat.”
Was that a note of coaxing in his voice? She indicated her clothes. “I dressed to travel. Do you mind if I change?”
“Roll up your pants legs. We’ll go barefoot and pretend we’re teenagers again.”
This time there was definitely self-mockery in his words, but she was easily persuaded. They raided the kitchen, and in short order cobbled together a light meal. Luc found a large-handled tote, and they loaded it. Leaving Hattie to carry nothing but two bottles of water, Luc scooped up an old, faded tarp and swung the bag over his shoulder.
She laughed when he kicked off his shoes and rolled his trousers to his knees before they left the house. Following suit, she joined him outside, smiling when she felt the still warm boards beneath her feet.
It was her wedding day. Perhaps an unorthodox one at best, but still deserving of at least a jot of ceremony.
What had happened earlier lingered between them…unspoken, unacknowledged. But it was there, filling her veins with heady anticipation.
Luc managed to spread the ground cloth with her help, though the stiff wind made it necessary to quickly secure the corners with food containers. They sat down side by side. With no baby to act as a shield between them, either literally or figuratively, the mood was much different than it had been during the evening at the park.
Here, on an island far from land, removed from any other humans, it was more difficult to ignore the past.
Luc leaned back on his elbows, his expression pensive. “I wondered about you over the years…what you were doing…if you were happy.” He turned his head suddenly and looked straight at her. “Were you?”
“Happy, you mean?”
He nodded.
“It’s hard to pin down happiness, isn’t it? I had a job that I liked. Friends. Family. So yes, I guess I was happy.”
He frowned slightly. “I was an idiot back then. When we were in college. Confusing lust with love. I’m not sure love exists.”
Her chest hurt. “How can you not believe in love?”
His gaze returned to the sea. “I understand loving a child,
a parent. Those emotions are real. But between men and women?” His lips twisted. “Mostly hormones, I think. Makes the world go round.”
The deliberate cynicism scraped at her guilt. Was that his intention? She curled her legs beneath her, poking at a small crab scurrying in the nearby sand. “You’ve never come close to marrying before now?”
He smiled faintly. “You mean after the debacle with you? No. Once was enough.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. It was a lesson well learned.”
She hated his current mood. He was spoiling whatever pleasure she had managed to squeeze from today’s events.
Her temper sizzled. Abruptly, she stood up. “I can only apologize so many times. You hate me. I get it. But I can’t change the past.”
Nine
Luc cursed beneath his breath as Hattie ran from him. Had that been his subconscious intent? To make her angry? So there would be no question of appeasing the ache in his groin?
To say he was conflicted was an understatement. He wanted Hattie with a raw intensity that only increased day by day. But he wasn’t willing to give up his position of power. He wouldn’t let her see him as a supplicant. It was up to her to come to him. God help him.
He reached into the food bag and found a block of aged cheddar. Not bothering with a knife, he ripped off a hunk and bit into it. The cheese tasted bitter in his mouth. And since he knew all the food at the wedding was top-notch, the problem must be him.
He tossed the uneaten portion back in the bag and went to stand at the water’s edge.
Until now, he hadn’t allowed himself to think about the men who had shared her life in the intervening years. His fists curled, and he wished violently that he was at the gym so he could beat the crap out of a punching bag.
A swim in the rough surf might appease the beast inside him, but he couldn’t take the chance. He wasn’t worried about his own safety, but leaving Hattie alone if something happened to him would be the ultimate mark of irresponsibility.
And he was nothing if not responsible.
Damn it. He took off in his bare feet, running full-out, dragging air into his lungs, ignoring the shell fragments that pierced his skin. He kept up the brutal pace, rounding the point and covering mile after mile until he came full circle to where the uneaten picnic lay.
With his chest burning, his feet aching and his skin wind-burned, he stopped suddenly, bent at the waist and rested his hands on his knees. He was used up, worn-out, ready to stop.
But still he wanted Hattie.
Inquisitive gulls had found the bag of food. Much of it would have to be tossed. He waved them away and packed up what he and Hattie had brought to the beach.
The house was quiet and dark when he slipped through the door. He dumped everything in the kitchen and went to his own bedroom, acutely aware that Hattie’s was only a few yards away. It was only nine o’clock, but he couldn’t see any light from beneath her door.
He stripped off his clothes and took a blisteringly hot shower. The water felt good on his tight, salty skin, but if he had been hoping for a soothing experience, he was out of luck.
His recalcitrant imagination brought Hattie into the glass stall with him. Her generous breasts glistened with soapy water as he washed her from head to toe. His erection was painful. As he stroked himself, he imagined lifting her and filling her, wrapping her long legs around his hips.
Ah…. He came with a muffled groan, slumping at last to sit on the narrow seat and catch his breath. He ran his hands through his wet hair, massaging the pain in his temples.
He was ninety-nine percent sure that Hattie was still sexually attracted to him. And he wanted her in his bed again. But on his terms. She had nearly destroyed him once upon a time. He’d be a fool to let it happen twice. So he’d be on his guard.
Sleep was elusive. Though he’d been up before dawn, he tossed and turned until he finally gave up the pretense of reading and turned out the light. He left the window open, relishing the humid night air. It suited his mood.
The nocturnal sounds were vastly different from back home. Birds and other wildlife filled the night with muted chirps and rustles and clicks. The sea created a hushed backdrop.
At 2:00 a.m. he tossed the tangled covers aside and padded to the kitchen in his boxers to get a drink. The house was dark and silent. He might as well have been the only person on the planet.
He drained the tumbler of water and stepped outside, tempted to run on the beach again. As he moved forward on the boardwalk, his heart stopped. A slender figure in white stood silhouetted against the dark horizon. Hattie. As he closed the distance between them, unconsciously treading as silently as possible, he saw that her back was to him. Her head was lifted to the stars. Her hair danced in the breeze. That same wind plastered her satin nightgown to her shapely body, leaving little to the imagination.
He should have turned back. It was the wise choice. But retreat had never been an option for him. Jump in the deep end, full steam ahead, onward and upward. Pick your cliché—that was how he lived his life. Perhaps if he had handled things differently a decade ago, he might never have lost her.
Something in her posture screamed sadness. And loneliness. An artist would have painted her and titled the canvas Melancholy. Seeing Hattie like this cracked something inside him. It hurt.
She didn’t flinch when he joined her. Was she as attuned to him as he was to her?
He stood beside her, their shoulders almost touching. Her freshly washed hair was a tangle of damp waves, the light scent of shampoo mingling with the faint fragrance of her perfume.
“Are you okay, Hattie?”
Her chin lowered a bit, her gaze now on the water. She shrugged, not answering in words.
“I was being an ass earlier. I’m sorry.”
Her lips twisted. “I should be the one apologizing. I was painfully young and immature back then. I know I hurt you, and I regret it more than you realize. I should have done things differently.”
He winced inwardly. She wasn’t apologizing for the breakup…only for the way she did it. The distinction was telling.
“I think we’re going to have to agree to leave the past where it belongs. We’re different people now.”
“Leo remembers.”
“Leo?”
“He threatened to tear me limb from limb if I hurt his baby brother again. He’s very loyal.”
Luc snorted. “Leo’s a pain in the butt when he wants to be. Forget anything he said to you. I don’t need his protection. And he’s hardly in a position to be giving relationship advice.”
“Maybe not, but he loves you very much.”
They fell silent. Luc tried to steady his breathing, but the longer he stood beside her, so close that her warmth radiated to him, the more he became aroused.
“You’re sad,” he accused softly. “Tell me why.”
She shifted restlessly from one foot to the other. “It’s not exactly the wedding night I dreamed of.”
Dangerous territory. “I’m sorry, Hattie. But, hey.” He forced a dry chuckle from his throat. “At least there’s moonlight, a romantic beach, a million stars. Could be worse.”
“Could be raining.” She shot back with the famous line from Young Frankenstein, and they both burst into laughter.
He couldn’t help himself. He touched her. It was a matter of utmost urgency to find out which was softer—the satin, or her skin. At first, all he did was take her chin in his hand. He turned her so that they were face-to-face, their pose and position mimicking that of the wedding ceremony.
Hattie moved restlessly and he dropped his hand. He sighed. “I take it you couldn’t sleep?”
“No.”
“Me, either. I’ve never had a wedding night before. Turns out this stuff is pretty stressful.”
That coaxed a small smile from her. “At least you didn’t have to contend with a receiving line and five hundred guests.”
“Why do people do that? Sounds exhausti
ng.”
“I imagine they want to share their happiness with as many people as possible, and they want to express their appreciation to those who made the effort to show up.”
“You apparently have given this some thought.”
“It’s a typical teenage girl fantasy.”
“I wish you could have had your dream wedding.”
“Can we talk about something else?” The hint of fatigued petulance made him smile. It was so unlike her.
“I could tell you that when I first looked out here, I thought I was seeing a ghost.”
She touched his cheek, making him tremble. “I suppose this must seem like a bad dream to you, your whole world turned upside down. And no end in sight. I owe you, Luc.”
He put his hand on hers, keeping the connection. “Perhaps I could collect an installment right now.” He’d be kidding himself if he didn’t admit that this had been his intent all along. Otherwise, he’d have stayed in the house. But he wouldn’t force her. “I’m not the groom you would have chosen, and this sure as hell isn’t what you expected from a wedding day. But at least we deserve a kiss…don’t we?”
His free hand settled at her waist, caressing the satin-covered curve that led to her hip. As far as he could tell, she was bare beneath the seductive piece of lingerie.
Her eyes searched his, and she moved her hand away. Now both of his palms cupped her hips, inexorably pulling her closer. Her breasts brushed his bare chest. Someone moaned. Was it him?
He leaned his forehead on hers. “Do you want me to stop?”
Small white teeth mutilated her bottom lip. “What I want and what is wise are two different things.”
He pushed his hips against hers, letting her feel the evidence of his arousal. He was going to pay like hell for this, but he couldn’t stop. “I don’t really give a damn about what’s wise right at this moment.”
They were pressed together now, and they might as well have been naked for all the modesty their thin garments afforded. Every hill and plane of her body fit with his like the most exquisite puzzle. Yin to yang. Positive to negative. Male to female.
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