Adrenaline up, she didn’t know what to think. “Alec, what’s wrong?”
He didn’t answer until the door closed behind them and he was sure they were alone.
“What’s wrong?” he repeated. “What’s wrong is that I hate conducting interviews.”
Her mouth dropped open. What was he, crazy? “You dragged me out of class to tell me that?” she demanded incredulously.
Marissa didn’t know whether to punch him or just ignore him and walk away. She struggled to keep hold of her temper. She’d never known she even had one, until he had entered her life. Of all the selfish, self-centered jerks, he took the prize.
She blew out a breath, curbing the desire to tell him exactly what she thought of him. “I’ll help you, all right?”
Marissa turned to reenter the class, only to have Alec take hold of her arm and swing her back around to face him again. “No, it’s not all right.”
What did he want from her? Blood? “Then I’ll do them for you.” She clenched her teeth together. “Now, can I get back to class?”
Shifting, he barred her way back into the room. “You really want to help? Then don’t go.”
He really was an egotist, wasn’t he? How could she have been so blind as to fall in love with this man? He didn’t care about her feelings, only convenience.
She fisted her hands at her waist. “You want me to continue being Andrea’s nanny? Is that what you want?”
It was a trite saying, but she really was magnificent when she was angry. He’d never realized just how magnificent.
“No.”
He had completely lost her now. “Then what do you want? Help me out here, Alec.” Sarcasm and confusion mingled in her voice. “What do you want?”
His eyes touched her face, her hair. God, but he had missed seeing her. Missed her so much that it hurt. He hadn’t fully realized it until this very minute.
“You.”
“Me,” she repeated, dumbfounded.
For a second she wavered, wanting more than anything else in the world to believe him. Knowing it was a mistake if she did. He didn’t mean what she wanted him to. He was just talking about her presence in his home. She’d made things too easy for him and now he didn’t want them to change.
She gave it to him with both barrels. “It’s a little late for that, Alec. If you haven’t noticed—and why should you, you’re never around—I’ve been hardening my heart. It’s not easy—” now there was an understatement “—but I’m getting there. I have a life to think of. Two. Mine and Christopher’s. I owe him the best future I can come up with so that he can have one, too.”
Because he couldn’t stand here another moment and not touch her, he ran his hands along her arms. When she shrugged them off, he placed them on her shoulders. There was no way he was going to let her shrug him out of her life.
“I know. But I’m not asking you not to have a career, Marissa. I was just hoping you could combine the two.”
He was deliberately being obscure to confuse her. Well, she was through being confused. Through wanting what she couldn’t have. From now on, she was going to be a realist.
“What, being a child psychologist and a nanny?” Marissa shook her head. That wasn’t possible, not anymore. “I don’t—”
“No,” he corrected her quietly. “A child psychologist and a wife.”
He could say what he wanted, it wasn’t going to change anything. “Look, I know that these interviews are—a wife?” She looked at him. She couldn’t have heard right. “Whose wife?”
For the first time, he allowed himself to smile. “Mine.”
What was he talking about? He’d made such a production out of telling her that it just wasn’t meant to be between them. “How can I be your wife?”
“Well, first there are blood tests, then—”
She wasn’t going to get waylaid with double talk, not this time. “You didn’t ask me.”
He searched her eyes, looking for her answer. The right answer. “I’m asking now.”
To say she was surprised wouldn’t have begun to cover it. “Just like that?”
“No, not just like that.” He slowly combed his fingers through her hair. He’d almost lost her. The thought chilled his heart. “After a lot of anguish and soul searching.”
Had it been that hard for him to find a place for her? “Boy, you’ll do anything not to conduct those interviews, won’t you?”
This wasn’t about interviews, or nannies, or anything else but him and her. And what they had together. “No, I’ll do anything not to lose you. The way I almost did.” He was risking everything, putting himself on the line. But to win everything, you have to risk losing it. He knew that now.. “Marissa, you have every right to say no, but I’m hoping that you won’t.”
“And you’re not afraid anymore?” She tried to read his eyes. “Of what’s down the road?”
He wouldn’t lie to her, even if it meant losing her. “Yeah, I am. But I’m more afraid of walking down that road without you. You were right, you know.”
Yes, she knew. But she needed to hear him say it. “About?”
He thought for a moment, wanting to get the words straight. “About having a little bit of something wonderful being better than having a whole lot of nothing. I started thinking about what it would be like without you. Really without you, not just because I was holed up at the office, but because when I came home, you wouldn’t be there.”
She was trying to hold it at bay, but golden rays of sunshine were beginning to prod their way forward, seeking to capture her heart. “And?”
He pulled her into his arms. Where she belonged. “And I didn’t like it.”
“You’d get used to it.” She had no intentions of letting him, but she wanted to hear his response.
“I don’t want to get used to it.” He kissed her forehead softly, then each eye. He felt his pulse rate accelerating. “I’m already used to you. I don’t take to change very well. I want you in my life, Marissa. And in Andrea’s. I love you and I want you to marry me. I want both you and Christopher to marry Andrea and me.”
A family of her own. A real family. Complete in every way. It didn’t get any better than this.
“When?” she breathed.
“How does graduation day sound? That way, we’ll both have something to celebrate. You’ll have your degree. And I’ll have you.” He pressed a kiss to her throat.
He made it hard to think when he did that. It took her a second to answer. “It sounds like you’re ready to make a commitment.”
“I already have.” He looked into her eyes, pledging her his heart. “To love you for as long as you let me.”
Her smile was wide, drawing him inside. “Then I guess you’re in it for the long haul.”
Alec brought his mouth down to hers. “I certainly hope so.
* * * * *
eISBN 978-14592-7282-8
YOUR BABY OR MINE?
Copyright © 1997 by Marie Rydzynski-Ferrarella
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All characters in this book have no existence outside the imagination of the author and have no relation whatsoever to anyone bearing the same. name or names. They are not even distantly inspired by any individual known or unknown to the author, and all incidents are pure invention.
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Your Baby Or Mine? Page 17