Mac poured out two large mugs of coffee. Put milk and sugar on the table and sat across from Jess.
“Black is fine.”
“I remember you as a healthy girl.”
“Fat.”
“Strapping. It didn’t slow you down. I remember you and Lillo racing down the beach, looking for things swept in by the tide, climbing over the jetty rocks. I could hear you laughing all the way up on the lighthouse widow’s walk. I’m not hearing so much laughter now. What have they done to you, girl?”
Jess breathed a cheerless, almost silent laugh. “Girl … It’s been a long time since I felt like a girl. These days I feel ancient. Ancient and tired and … ugh, listen to me. I’m in a gorgeous place with wonderful people, and I just can’t seem to relax and enjoy myself.”
“Could be because you left a fiancé at the altar, pissed off Mom and Dad, and are on the lam.”
This time Jess’s laugh almost rang true.
“Well, from where I’m looking, all four of you are in the bloom of youth and you oughta be enjoying it, ’cause all too soon you’ll be too damn old to be good for anything.”
Jess looked up and wagged her finger at Mac. It made Mac smile; she was usually the one who did the finger-wagging. “You’ll never be that old. Everybody depends on you.”
“Used to.” Mac carried the cake tin over to the table and took off the top. “Made raspberry strudel.”
“Oh, Mac, I can’t.”
“Sure you can. Nobody’s making you eat the whole damn thing.”
“I’m so hungry all the time, I feel like eating everything in sight. No, actually that isn’t true. These days food hardly even tempts me.”
“’Cause you’ve messed up your stomach with all that binge dieting.”
“And my metabolism with diet pills and fad diets. And I know that I’ve done it to myself.”
“Well, you did have help.”
“I’m a classic case, aren’t I? My parents gave or withheld food as reward or punishment. When I figured it out, I ate to piss them off. By the time I went off to college, I was totally whacked out.
“But a therapist on campus really helped me. Diana and Allie were great, supportive friends. I thought I was really normal, then the wedding, and it all started over again. I knew the role so well, I just slipped right back into it. And now I’m back to where I started.”
“Nobody is ever back where they started. Use those tools from college to get your life together once and for all. And damn it to hell, stop listening to those parents of yours.”
Jess eyed the strudel. Pulled over a plate and cut herself a slice. “That’s why I begged Lillo to come to the wedding. I think I knew I had to make a final move and I knew I could never do it alone. That’s selfish of me, isn’t it?”
“Self-preservation. We’re all selfish when it comes to survival.”
Though how Jess had lasted this long was astounding. She wasn’t out of the woods yet. The way she was deliberately eating that piece of strudel, Mac could almost see the willpower that kept her from shoving the whole thing in her mouth. And if Mac could see it, then so could everyone else.
Poor Jess. Even her name, Jessica, had “Bully me” written on it. And boy, did the kids make fun of her. To one group she was a fatty, to another not fat enough, her parents flaunted their wealth, and she had that prissy name.
The first thing she did after meeting Lillo was to shorten her name to Jess. But it had taken two weeks before she and Lillo finally settled on something that she could answer to for her whole life. Only to her own family did she remain Jessica Braithwaite Parker.
The real Jess was buried under their expectations, and even when she briefly emerged she was like a supporting character in her own young life. Mac had watched it all unfold. Summer after summer. Watched her blossom as the summer went on, watched it all unravel as she drove away in the back seat of some fancy limo.
And Lillo? She had everything going for her: brains, heart, parents who loved her so much that they were willing to let her fly solo. And one mistake had driven her back here. Her parents had moved away, her reason for being here gone. And yet here she was.
“What if I can’t stick it out? I’ve embroiled my dearest friends in what could become a real bloodbath, figuratively speaking. But it could turn nasty; for them, too.”
“In case you’ve forgotten, that’s what friends are for.”
Jess slumped back and pushed her cup around in a circle. “Why am I just now getting it?”
“Getting what?”
“Every summer I would come here a total mess, and while I was here I’d start to think I was … you know, okay, then I’d go back home and fall into all my old habits and … and it wasn’t me; I was me here.”
“Well, like the sign says, once you visit Lighthouse Beach, life will never be the same.”
“But it was the same. Summer after summer, I thought I had changed, had gotten stronger. When I was away at school. When I was working in Manhattan. But I couldn’t maintain it; in real life, I just couldn’t stay me.”
“Real life? Honey, this is real life. Where a community only has two itinerant doctors who show up every month or so. Half the populace is out of work, and the ones who do work are squeezed for taxes and inflation and the price of bread. They believed promises made to them that no politician ever intended to keep. The kids, when they go to school at all, have to ride a school bus an hour each way, so most of them just stay home until the truant officer comes around. And leave home as soon as the law says they’re old enough. And the kids with special needs? They’re serviced by a visiting teacher three times a week. During the school year. Shall I go on?”
“You sound bitter.”
“Me? Nah. Just pointing out that your idea of real life … well, it ain’t real.”
“Entitled.”
“That’s a nice way to put it.”
“I’m not sure how to exist in this real life.”
“Well, then you’d better go back to your anorexic life with a cheating husband and greedy, manipulative parents. No one’s stopping you.”
“Mac …”
“Well, what do you want me to say? You have choices.”
“I wish I could stay here. I’m not sure I can make it out there.”
“Lighthouse Beach is a sanctuary, not the end of the line.”
“But you stayed here. Lillo stayed here. All the people who live here stayed.”
“For some people it becomes a home. For some an excuse. But get over thinking you stage-managed the four of you ending up in Lighthouse Beach.”
“Then who did?”
“Just in the stars, I guess.”
“Mac. When did you start believing in astrology?”
“I don’t. I believe in celestial navigation.”
“We have GPS.”
Mac barked out a laugh. The girl still had a spark of life in her. Now, if they could just keep it burning … She got up to pour them more coffee.
“Okay, so why did Diana and Allie come? Besides to help me. I mean … Allie, after losing her husband, just can’t seem to get interested in making a new life. I get that.”
“It’s hard to lose someone you thought you were going to spend your life with. It takes time.”
“Will being in Lighthouse Beach help her?”
“It will.”
“How?”
“I haven’t got a clue, but it will. It always does.”
Jess pushed her hair out of her face. It was looking a lot less coiffed today, and it softened her thin, harsh features. “Okay, how about Diana? Diana is in control of her life. Her company is totally rocking it.”
Mac chuckled and pulled the strudel plate closer. Cut them both another slice. “All that means is she’s headed for a big fat unexpected detour.”
Jess dropped her fork and gave Mac a worried look.
“That doesn’t mean it’s something bad, but it always happens. Life doesn’t like slow and steady. No matter
how much you want it to. How much you plan, prepare, persevere. It just has a way of knocking you on your ass. Sometimes for the worse, like Allie’s husband dying, and sometimes for the good, like getting you to eat a second piece of strudel …
“Even keeping a lighthouse, day after day, year after year, where things were most unlikely to change, I’ve had my share of bumps in the road, ships in the night, storms, and …” She shook her head.
“But you stayed here.”
“I found what I needed to find here and it was Lighthouse Beach. Most people need to find something that isn’t a place; they find sanctuary here, it provides the safety to look at things in new ways, and then they move on. Some don’t even know what’s happened to them while they were here.
“But those who do know have a power they didn’t have before.” Which was a bunch of malarkey, but Mac figured Jess needed all the help she could get.
“And what about Lillo? She doesn’t talk about herself. Doesn’t really reminisce. She left, but she’s back. Is it because what she needs to find is in Lighthouse Beach?”
“That remains to be seen. Now finish up your coffee, I gotta take the van to get a new tire before Doc has a fit.”
Jess took their plates and cups to the sink. “Thinking about getting away had become such an obsession; this road trip seemed like an answer to my prayers. I’d like to think it would be good for the others, too. But I’m afraid it’s going to turn into something scarier. Not just for me, but for everybody.”
“Nothing is too scary if you’re with people you can trust. Now skedaddle. I have work to do.”
Chapter 9
Diana carried three mugs of coffee out to the deck. “Dee-luxe accommodations.” She set the mugs on a wooden table next to a plate of wannabe bagels, cream cheese, and fruit, and looked out at the view. The sun was already warming the air, there was just a tiny breeze, the gulls were wheeling overhead, and the waves created a gentle, rhythmic ripple as the tide withdrew. “Have either of you seen Jess this morning?”
“I heard her get up a couple of hours ago,” Lillo said from the chaise she was sitting in. She took a mug and handed it to Allie. Took another for herself. “She probably went over to Mac’s for coffee.”
“I hope she’s okay,” Allie said.
“Mac is good for what ails you,” Lillo said.
“It is rather relaxing,” Diana agreed as she perched one hip on the deck railing. She fiddled with her phone. “It would be even more relaxing if I could get a decent signal and get my updates over with. You know you have lousy cell reception here?”
“Yeah, it seems to change with the wind, though everyone says it doesn’t work like that. It does here. You can usually get through by the back door, or if you stand away from the stove in the kitchen; the other rooms suck. Sometimes you can get it out here. Not happening?”
“Not. I got through once, but the call was dropped. Nada since then.”
“There’s pretty decent reception at the gift shop. It doesn’t open until after lunch but Mac would let you in. A couple other places in town have random hot spots if you want to try one of those.”
“Dressed like this?” Diana stood long enough to reveal her bikini and gooseflesh.
Lillo shrugged. “It is kind of tiny. Do people wear bikinis to spas? I thought it was all big towels and cucumber slices.”
“It is, but there’s a pool at the hotel. Not that it looks like I’ll be getting there. And don’t tell me I’m free to go.”
“I wasn’t going to. Try down on the beach over by the lighthouse jetty. You’ll at least be able to hear the caller; they may get waves in the background, but it usually works.”
“Needs must …” Diana snagged a sprig of grapes and walked down the steps to the sand. She’d been surprised this morning that it actually felt like summer—at least in the sun. She’d never thought of Maine as a place to sunbathe, but it was pretty delightful, not hot and sweaty, but pleasant.
She trekked out to the jetty, munching on grapes and trying to balance in the shifting sand, which was more like rocks than sand. Definitely not the Caribbean honeymoon that Jess had been planning. She popped the last grape in her mouth and made the call while she finished chewing.
The call connected. “Hallelujah!”
“Where the heck are you? Some third-world country?” Her assistant, Maya, was urban through and through.
“I seem to be in the boonies. You have to chase the cell reception. They say it’s the wind. Then they tell me not to believe them.”
“But where?”
“Someplace in Maine. But as far as you know, I’m still in Kennebunkport.”
“That explains it. Did you tell anyone where you were going?”
“Only you. Shit. Why?”
“Because of the continuous calls from the Parkers and from James Beckman all day yesterday … they have suddenly stopped. So you can expect incoming any minute now.”
“Damn. They probably found Jess’s phone. She threw it out of the car so she wouldn’t cave. Can you believe it?”
“Good on her. Maybe you can get her to come work for you.”
“Working on it. They’ve already badgered the woman who lives here. It’s only a matter of time until they figure out the rest. I’ll have to go rogue. I’ll call you from the new number. Anything else?”
“No. Go. Enjoy. And if you do see Jimmy boy, kick him where it counts for me.”
Diana grinned. She loved her staff. She’d stolen half of them from the company she’d left to start her own app development company. Actually, she hadn’t even asked them to bail with her. They’d come of their own accord after she was already gone. No lawsuits for Diana.
“Sounds like a plan on both counts. Talk to you soon.” She closed the call. Damn the Parkers and their network of scumbags. She turned back to the deck, stopped, blinked, forgot all about the impending disaster of discovery.
“Hold on, Cinderella,” she said. That can’t be. Oh, but it is, a prince on a white horse. Galloping along the shoreline. Okay, maybe the horse was more gray than white, and the prince was just a man, but pretty buff—at a distance at least.
And for a change she found herself watching the horse. A flood of memories rushed in, stopping her in her trek across the sand. When was the last time she’d been riding? Work, designing and building her company, several disastrous love—she wouldn’t call them affairs … flings? And two equally disastrous marriages—hadn’t left much time for fun.
She still owned two horses. She’d been boarding them at a stable on Long Island and paid her niece to exercise them. Actually, the little darling thought they belonged to her now.
She watched the rider as he slowed the horse to a walk then turned away from the shore and followed a path into the woods and finally disappeared from view.
Diana was jerked back to the present. She trotted back to the deck just as Jess walked through the sliding glass door.
“Update from New York. Your parents have stopped calling the office.”
“I’m sorry. What did Maya tell them?”
“That I was in Kennebunkport at a wedding.” Diana laughed. She couldn’t help it. “But they may be closing in.”
“Did I screw up? I didn’t call them. I promise.”
“Jess, stop blaming yourself. You know how these things work, that’s why you unloaded your phone.” Diana looked squarely at Jess and lied. “Maya’s afraid someone leaked my cell number to James. It was probably my latest whatever, the no-good, two-timing, former whatever he was, Johnnie-Come-Lately Ashton Crawford. I knew I should never have gone out with him, that he’d screw me in more ways than one. And bingo. I’d forgotten that he’s friends with the fornicating fiancé. Girls, never go out with a man named Ashton.”
“Or James, for that matter,” Jess added.
“Or James,” Diana agreed. “Or Randall.”
“Who is Randall?” asked Lillo. She couldn’t help herself.
“Her ex,” Jess answer
ed.
“One of my exes, for my sins.”
“You were married twice?”
“Yep. But Randall was one of those rebound what-happens-in-Vegas kind of things. Didn’t last six months.”
“Think you’ll try again?” Allie asked.
“Not me. You know what they say. Third time’s a charm. And that, my dears, has kept me single.”
“Well,” Jess said. “If you’d stop dating yourself, you might find someone compatible.”
“Thanks but no. The upside of dating someone just as driven, busy, and ‘married’ to their career as I am is that they don’t have time to get in your way.”
“That’s pitiful,” Jess said.
“Says pot to kettle.” Diana leaned back against the railing. “If we’ve finished dissecting my less-than-successful love life, I suggest we—”
“Figure out what we’re going to do?” Allie asked. “Jess’s parents are probably worried sick.”
All three women turned to look at her.
“About their hotel bill and how this will affect their standing at the country club. They’re not nice people. Sorry, Jess, but it’s the truth.”
Jess nodded. “They aren’t. Not even to their other children, who turned out more like them.”
“Sad but true,” Diana said. “It’s just a matter of time. Once they’ve wined and dined the last guests’ ruffled feathers, after they fill your voice mail without you calling back, they’ll get smart and make sure you’re back in Boston. And when that fails they’ll start getting suspicious and look for us. They may even find your phone by the side of the road.”
“Can they do that?” asked Lillo.
“Sure. ‘Find My Phone’? And if that’s turned off, they can get someone to find it for them. Like I said, it’s just a matter of time, but we can make it more difficult for them, just out of spite. I don’t mind a little spite toward the Parkers, do any of you?
“No? Good. But just to save myself the aggravation, and just in case I’ve been outed, I’m about to jettison this number and set up one of my many dummies. And don’t look aghast, Allie. It’s nothing illegal; when you work in a highly competitive tech field, you gotta play Whac-A-Mole with some of the best minds in the business.” She hesitated. “Or in China and the Soviet Union …
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