Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Will lay the file to the side and rise from the couch. A second later he stood behind her.
Nicole longed to lean back against his chest and feel his strong arms around her. She wanted to love and to be loved.
“What’s wrong?” He asked softly.
“Nothing, and everything.” While shaking her head she bit her lip, trapping in the resentment that had reared up inside her and snatched away her joy.
“What happened to you was no one’s fault but the men who kidnapped you, Nicole. Not yours, and not your family’s.”
How could he understand the way she felt?
Keeping her back to him, she said, “I know that. It’s just, I see what they’ve become and I’m what? Nothing.”
Will hands landed on her shoulders and suddenly she found herself facing him. Through her thin shirt her skin warmed under his touch.
Will’s brow lined with furrows while he studied her.
“You’re not nothing. You’re a strong, brave woman who has put her life on the line not only to save herself, but her son and Susie and hundreds of others. If your parents were here, they’d tell you how proud they are of you.”
Her laughter sounded evil to her own ears. “Proud that I was made to be a whore.”
Will’s skin flushed with crimson anger and his fingers bit into her skin as he shook her. “You’re not a whore. You never were. I don’t want to hear you call yourself that again. Do you understand, Nicole?”
Staring into the depths of his rage, she swallowed. Will truly understood her torment. She looked down, blinked back the hot tears welling up inside her, and nodded.
Will’s grip relaxed and his hands slid over her shoulders to her back. He held her in place and stepped closer. The feel of his body meeting hers, chest to chest, thigh to thigh, sent Nicole’s pulse racing.
He was just comforting her she thought. Will didn’t love her. She’d be a fool to think he ever could.
With her head against his chest, she closed her eyes and listened to the rhythm of his heart. She recorded the feel of his hard muscles and the way his breath felt against her hair. She inhaled the mixed floral scent of the fabric softener he used and his spicy cologne. A smile tucked at her lips.
Oh, how she wished there could be something more between them. A wild thought popped to mind. A night together? One she could remember and cherish in the years to come while she slept alone.
No. That had to be the worst idea she’d ever had. While her body would thank her a hundred times over, her heart couldn’t take the rejection that unquestionably would happen in the moments after. Somewhere over the last two months, she had fallen for Will and loving him was a mistake.
She leaned into him. One more minute of bliss and then she’d let him go.
Will’s massage replaced the tension in her back muscles with tender comfort and sent hopeful tingles up her spine, acknowledging that a bond had formed between them.
He sighed against her head. “You know, this isn’t the best idea.”
Nicole braced herself against the ache surrounding her heart. Either Will knew how she felt about him and didn’t feel the same way or he also knew there was no future between them.
“You’re probably right.” Sighing, she pulled back and was captured by the storm in his eyes.
Will’s gaze dropped to her lips and just like hers, his heartbeat went wild under her palm. Afraid she’d miss the moment, she didn’t blink.
“Oh, hell.” Will lowered his head and his tender lips brushed across hers.
A feverish wave cascaded through Nicole, and she melted against Will, soaking in every tiny detail of their joining; his hand wrapped in her hair, holding her head in place. The way his breath grew hotter against her cheek. The sweet taste of his tongue darting inside her mouth, promising her the passion she longed to share.
Seconds turned into minutes and just as she was about to resign to being totally lost, Will pulled back.
Nicole didn’t care for cool air separating them and with her eyes still closed, moaned her objection. Her skin burned for his touch. Her hands slid up over the hard muscles of Will’s chest, shoulders and around his neck and she pulled him down.
Under feverish kisses, Nicole’s ability to reason slipped away and the sweet bliss of insanity took over. She never thought she’d ever need a man much less want one. But she both needed and wanted Will.
Will’s warm lips moved along her jaw, to her ear and Nicole’s eyes rolled back as she allowed herself to feel the sensations this man caused in her. For so long, she had put herself somewhere else during moments like this.
What was she thinking? She’d never experienced moments like this.
She laced her fingers through his soft hair, wanting Will to move and suckle her skin lower, but instead he pulled back again and rested his forehead against hers. Blazing passion stared back at her.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.” Will’s tone was rough and breathless.
He smoothed her hair back and her scalp prickled. Then gently he massaged her shoulders and her heart beat decelerated from its feverish pace. “Please don’t tell me you were just comforting me.”
“What? Hell no.” He straightened. “I’ve wanted to kiss you. For a while. Just now, seeing you upset put me over the edge.”
“How long? Since the day you first saw me?” She refused to look away. His answer was important.
Will studied her a moment before responding.
“I wondered a lot about you then, for obvious reasons, but I don’t think I actually wanted to kiss you until the amusement park, when you dropped your cotton candy and we both bent over to pick the bag up. Remember?”
Will’s cheeks flushed and she thought how cute the reaction made him. She would never forget that moment. She had thought he might kiss her then and was disappointed when he hadn’t. “Yes, I remember.”
“Watching you that day with Luka, the way you laughed, I felt like I was watching you being happy for the very first time. I didn’t know…” He rested his hand on his stomach. “Something just clinked inside me.”
“But you tore into me that day. You were upset and we left the park in a hurry.”
He shrugged. “Misguided self-defense mechanism. I was angry at the parents of a group of unsupervised teens. They were too young to run around not chaperoned. I took my frustration out on you.”
“Because I was Gorgon’s woman.”
Will stopped tracing her lobe with his finger. “Yes, and I liked you, and I didn’t want to.” He sighed. “A name doesn’t change who you are, Nicole. I’ve told you before you’re one of the bravest women I’ve ever known. You’re a great mom, and—” He tugged her closer. “I find you interesting, attractive and you make me smile.”
Nicole closed her eyes. Her heart beat echoed in her ears. Did he realize what he was doing to her?
Will squeezed her. “What’s wrong?”
She shook her head, relishing the happiness filling her soul. A tear slipped from her eye and she swiped the droplet away. “Nothing is wrong. I’ve never been this happy.”
With his finger under her chin, he lifted her gaze to meet his. “Then why are you crying?”
“Because I know it’s going to end.”
She pulled away from him and he let her go, knowing she needed to feel free— to do whatever she wanted whenever she wanted.
“What will end?”
“This.” She pointed between them.
“Us? I’m not sure I know what you mean.”
“Where can a relationship between us go?” She stared at him accusingly. “Are you ever going to forget who I was? Who I was with? Who Luka’s father is?”
“I know who you are.”
“That’s not the question. Can you forget who I was?” she asked again, accenting each syllable, one at a time.
In a room warmed by the late sun, Will saw Nicole shiver.
He wanted to gather her back int
o his arms and make her happy, but she was right. He wouldn’t forget. Sharing a kiss or two wasn’t a concerned, but her past would matter if a whole hell of a lot more happened between them. He couldn’t answer her question right now.
Maybe the best decision would be to stop this thing between them right now and he walked away. “Remember earlier when I said I wanted to see you and make sure you and Luka were happy. That was true, but what I really wanted was to see you. I’m attracted to you.”
The tiny spark in Nicole’s eyes encouraged him to continue. “I didn’t have to tell you that. You know. I can see in your eyes that you know. And I can see you feel the same way.” He might be making a mess laying his guts out like this, but he didn’t know any other way but to be honest with her. “You’re asking me about a future for us. I don’t know if that will happen and it’s not because of me not forgetting your past. I’m the first guy you’ve met and kissed after escaping from Gorgon.”
She dropped her arms to her sides and opened her mouth to say something, but he cut her off. “Hear me out before you say anything.” He combed his hand through his hair, wondering if he was doing the right thing. He was for her, but for himself—he wasn’t too sure. “I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but... I think best thing for both of us is for you see other men.”
The instant he said the words, he felt like a fucking heel. Nicole did deserve better than him.
The sound of gravel crushing turned both their heads towards the window. Max’s barking told him the dog raced from the back yard to the front of the house.
“Luka is home,” Nicole said. She leveled her shoulders and slipped on her strong façade, distancing herself from the situation.
“Nicole?” He touched her arm, hoping she’d respond to his statement before Luka entered the house. He needed some indication of what was running through her mind.
“Don’t.” She snapped her arm back as if his touch had burnt her skin. “Just don’t.” Her hand trembled before him.
There he had his answer. He’d hurt her. Damn. He didn’t want to cause her more pain than he already had.
Footsteps pounded the steps and a second later Luka shot through the door, leaving the screen door to bang behind him.
“Uncle Will, when did you get here?”
The kid’s sparkling eyes lifted Will’s spirits, somewhat. He liked the kid a lot. But just like his mother, Will didn’t want to hurt him further. A clean break was best.
“Just a few minutes ago.” He ruffled the boy’s hair. “What have you been up to? How’s school going?”
“It’s great. I was over at my new friend’s house. His name is Johnny. He’s two months younger than me, but he’s still pretty cool. We’re in the same class. Guess what, Uncle Will?”
Staring down at the kid, Will pasted a shit ass grin on his face even though his mind was focused on Nicole and their conversation which still hung in the air. “What, kid?”
“My birthday is coming up. I’ll be five.”
“Really? When?”
“Next month. October 14th and mom is going to throw a birthday party for me. All my friends from school are coming. I never had a birthday party before. Only ones with my mom and dad. One time, Uncle Donnie and Aunt Gali came for cake. I don’t remember them, but mom says they did. You’re going to come too, right?”
He didn’t want to break the kid’s bubble but after what just happened between him and Nicole, he’d doubt she wanted him around. “I don’t know—”
Luka circled him and grasped his mother’s hand. “Tell Uncle Will he has to come, mom.”
Looking down at the desperation on her son’s face, Nicole bit her lip while her fingers combed through the kid’s brown hair, straightening the mess he had made of the thick strands. Will knew she was stuck in a hard place and wasn’t sure how to respond to her son’s plea.
“I’ll tell you what, kid, if I’m in town I’ll be here. And if I’m not, I’ll make sure my present is here for you to open. Okay?”
“Yeah!” Luka jumped up and down, already excited that he would have presents at his party.
Nicole glanced at him before snagging Luka’s chin between her fingers and forcing the boy to focus on her. “Why don’t you go upstairs and get your book bag. You have some homework to finish before your bath.”
“Ah, mom. I haven’t seen Uncle Will in a long time.”
He had nowhere to be, but he checked his watch anyway. “Do as your mom says. I’ve got to run anyway.” He winked.
Will moved to the side and Nicole led Luka to the stairs and directed him up. Once Luka was out of hearing range, he said, “I guess I better get going.”
Nicole’s sad expression twisted his gut. Not saying a word, she nodded an affirmation.
He opened the door and stepped onto the porch. With the door still in his hand, he turned. “Nicole, I just—”
“Don’t.” Tears glistened in her brown eyes. She pushed him back away from the door. “Don’t be in town.”
Then she closed the inside door and Will heard the lock click into place. A sinking feeling that he’d just royalty screwed up his life gripped his heart.
~~
Chapter Twenty-three
Gorgon stooped and picked up the section of newspaper he dropped, and winced. The fire in his belly had burned out but a prickling stab shot through his middle every time he bent over too fast or stretched.
He folded the paper back into its tri-fold delivery shape and tossed it aside on the table. Cupping his hands together, with his elbows placed on either side of his plate, he watched the sunshine shimmering through the large window pane before him and danced across the brocade carpet in heated waves. The sheer curtain edging the window billowed and fell as if the wail of the siren below had disturbed its rest. Twenty five stories down, the hordes continued on with their lives and here he sat, waiting for his strength to return. But would ever get stronger? Everything he loved was gone and without love, how could he continue on?
How had he not seen Katrina’s unhappiness?
Gorgon’s knuckles turned white while anger stirred in his gut. How had he not seen her strength? He thought he had controlled her.
Where had they disappeared to and how would he find them?
“What’s wrong, my brother? Do you not feel well?”
While wallowing in his misery, Gorgon hadn’t heard Donnie enter the sitting room of their suite.
With his chin nestled against his hands, Gorgon inhaled through his nostrils and looked up from studying the spiral shape the dollop of cream made in his now cold morning coffee.
A fluffy, white towel hugged his younger brother’s athletic hips while another hung around Donnie’s neck, covering a portion of his hairy chest. Comb marks etched through Donnie’s jet black waves still wet from his shower. He shouldn’t be jealous of his brother, but he was. Donnie had the perks of being a Novokoff without shouldering the weight of responsibility for the family and its business.
“I feel like a caged animal,” Gorgon said before stabbing his spoon into the mug and pushing it away.
“Bozhe moi. You’re in a five star hotel in the capital city of the world. You have everything you need at your fingertips.” Donnie pointed to the table laden with huge plates of sausages and pancakes. Bowls of whipped cream and strawberries sat alongside.
Gorgon glanced at the man guarding the door and between clenched teeth said, “Everything but what a man holds most dear to his heart.” He tapped a finger against his chest. Fighting the ache of loneliness welling up inside him, he clamped his jaw closed and looked out the window. Gorgon curled his fists tighter until his fingernails bit into his palms. He would not let his weakness show.
Donnie poured coffee from the silver carafe and took a sip before responding to his pain. “And what is it you long for?”
“My family.”
“Your wife waits for you in Brazil.”
Gorgon rolled his eyes. His brother knew how he felt about the old
woman he’d been saddled with fifteen years ago when he was just a young man of twenty-two. He’d wed the then thirty year old Eva for one purpose—to make peace with his family’s enemy. Theirs had never been a Shakespearian love story. Eva’s barren body had not given him the heir he’d hoped for. “Do not act the fool. You know who truly holds my heart, as my wife. Katrina.”
Both he and Donnie caught the eye of the guard.
Donnie nodded to the man to leave them, which he did without uttering a word. Once the door clicked closed and they were alone, Donnie pulled a chair out from the table and dropped onto the seat. Leaning towards Gorgon, he said, “Who is acting like a fool, brother? Katrina betrayed you. She tried to kill you and if not for our men finding you as quickly as they had, we… All of us would be mourning you.”
Gorgon had relived the nightmare over and over, giving Katrina’s actions much thought. He came up with one answer. “Katrina was threatened.”
“What the hell are you talking about? No one would threaten her. Why would they?”
“I brought the girl home.”
“So? She was to be transported to her new owner in a few days. She was worth a half-million dollars. You took her home to protect her from any mishaps.”
“Katrina had to think I was replacing her with the girl. That is the only explanation.” Gorgon chuckled. “The one who had to worry about being replaced was Eva.”
“Eva’s a good woman.”
“Eva acts like my mother not my wife, and I don’t say that because she has not given me a son. I do not blame her as she thinks I do. We never were one.”
Gorgon played with the fork lying on the table, lining the hotel utensil up with the knife. He stretched his back, wishing the fire inside his gut would go away. He missed Katrina’s soft hands massaging his muscles. “You know what I mean, brother. I see the love between you and Gali.”
“Katrina will never be Gali.”
“Not as long as I’m married to Eva.”
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