by Mercy Levy
“You just finished telling me how happy this place makes you. How about you do your thing, and I can come back for you, or I can help out.”
“I can give you a ride home.” Jonathan offered with a shrug. “If it doesn’t weird you out that I know where you live.”
“Well, you can always show Meredith where you live first, so she isn’t at a disadvantage…” Candy’s voice trailed off at the eye roll she got from her sister.
“No, it wouldn’t be a problem for you to know where I live, and I’d love to help out tonight. Candy and I already dropped off all the toys and clothes we extorted from our friends and neighbors, and this will give her extra time before her plans tonight.”
“Then it’s settled. You two kids have fun. I’ll see you at mom’s next week.” Meredith and Jonathan walked Candy to her car and Meredith hugged her goodbye.
“If you play your cards right, tall dark and hunky might just stick around for a nightcap. Don’t blow it.” Candy whispered in her ear. Meredith snorted and shook her head.
“If you ever wonder why mom says I’m the good child, remember that.” Candy laughed at her sister and winked at Jonathan before speeding off in her Cadillac.
Jonathan offered his arm while they walked over the uneven, slippery ice, and slid his arm around her when Meredith slipped off the curb. He held her tight, and she gripped his arms as she righted herself.
“Thank you,” she panted. “I swear, I was fine all day. That’s what you get for being a gentleman.”
“I can’t say I’m unhappy with the way it turned out. Not every day I get to hold a beautiful woman this close.”
“Jonathan, I have no doubt that any woman you encounter, would love to be in my position, right now.” She laughed unsteadily and stepped back a pace, brushing imaginary snow off her parka. She picked up her pace and put a few more feet of cold snow between them, and almost made it to the already loaded truck when her heel hit another hidden patch of ice. Her arms flew up and her legs followed as she sped towards the ground. Hands grabbed at hers, stopping her fall a split second before her head connected with the frozen concrete.
“Damnit, Meredith. Am I really so bad that braining yourself is your only recourse?” His words were as shaky as his hands as he pulled her to his chest. Meredith sank against his chest for a moment to get her bearings and his arms went around her. He smelled of musky cologne and clean, fresh soap under it. She sighed and his hold on her tightened, one hand moving behind her neck, the other stroking down to the small of her back. He tipped her face up to meet his eyes.
“No, Jonathan, you aren’t so bad as that.” Meredith’s voice was husky with desire. Her pulse raced, and she prayed that he couldn’t feel it through her thick winter attire. He smiled down at her and stroked her cheek with his gloved thumb.
“Well, thank God for that,” he mused, almost to himself. “What would I do without my favorite driving buddy? Mrs. Francis would never forgive me if I’d put you in the hospital.” He chuckled and leaned forward. Meredith held her breath, as his lips gently brushed her forehead. “Let’s get you into the truck before you hurt yourself.” He put his hands around her waist and lifted her up to the cab.
“My hero.” She scoffed as he slid in from the other side. He snorted derisively and rolled his eyes at her before throwing it in gear and slowly backing out of the parking lot onto the quiet street.
“I sure like this place better when everyone is inside, out of the cold.” Meredith remarked as they made a left past the building. Through the windows, she could see people crammed into every possible seat at every table, eating the food she and Candy had helped prepare. “I wish Candy could see what all her hard work today accomplished.”
“For people who seem to be so well-off, you and your family are pretty decent human beings.” Jonathan replied. “I happened by the kitchen a couple of times while you were in there. It was fun to watch you and your sister light the place up. Even Jake was blushing and smiling.”
“Well, my sister is just tht pretty, and nice. She’s everyone’s favorite.”
“Not everyone’s.” He slid his hand over hers. “And I wouldn’t say she’s the pretty one, either. It’s hard to beat a beautiful redhead with eyes like yours.” He took his hand away. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to put you on the spot while I have you captive.”
“Why couldn’t you? I mean, I wasn’t exactly trying to get away... at any point today.” She reached out for his hand. “What really would stop you?” He was quiet long enough that eventually they reached their first stop without either of them speaking. She didn’t push, and the next few deliveries were quiet and tense.
Finally, just when she thought she couldn’t handle it any longer, and the knots in her stomach threatened to turn into nausea, he pulled the truck into an empty church parking lot and put it in park. He turned to her and looked at her for a long time, searching her face as though it was the last time he would ever see it.
“What do you think I do when I’m not driving this truck?”
“I thought you said you were in construction.” The knots tightened a little more in her gut.
“In construction. I don’t own a construction company. I don’t run the jobs, I’m just a grunt. I found out when I was a kid that I was good with my hands, and I’ve been using them to feed myself ever since.”
“Why does this matter? I don’t understand what you’re trying to say.”
“I drive a beat-up Ford truck with a cracked windshield. I live in a tiny house on the wrong side of the tracks, and there are days where I eat Ramen because I have to, not because I want to.” He stared out the front window, his jaw clenched.
“I met you delivering food in this piece of crap,” she snapped at him. “I flirted with you not knowing that you had a job at all, and not caring, because what you chose to do with your time made me trust you. You have a lot of nerve, attacking me for the sin of having opportunities others don’t always get. Would you feel better about me if I’d thrown away the chance I had to be educated? Would I be more attractive if I was a waitress? Because that’s how I put myself through school. What my scholarship didn’t cover, my night shift did.” Meredith turned away from him. “The deliveries are done. Please take me back to the Road Home so I can call for a ride.”
“I told you I’d take you home.”
“And listen to you judge me for living in a nice home? I don’t think so. Just take me back and I’ll Uber a ride.” Jonathan put the truck in drive and pulled slowly out of the parking lot. As he rounded the corner of the building, the stained-glass windows at the base of the spire came into view. He stepped on the brake and stared out at the softly lit, colored glass that drew the eye upward toward the simple, white spire, and then up to the moonlit sky.
“Let me take you home, Meredith. What I said was stupid, and I don’t want you to have to get a ride with a stranger because of me.” She sighed, but nodded her head.
“I can’t believe you thought I would stop wanting to spend time with you because of your job, when clearly all that has mattered up ‘til now, is that you’re hotter than sin, and a good driver.” Meredith quipped. A shocked laugh exploded from Jonathan and he slammed the brakes on again. He stared across the cab at her and she held his gaze.
“Well, if that’s all I needed, then maybe I should come in for a bit tonight. I mean, if we’re being shallow, then I can readily admit I can’t stop thinking about what you’d look like without all those damnable clothes on.” Meredith gasped and crimson stained her cheeks.
“Just head toward Park City. When I find out where my brain slipped off to, I’ll give you the street address.” Jonathan chuckled, a deeply masculine sound that did nothing for Meredith’s suddenly bottomed-out IQ.
He navigated the truck carefully around the icy hairpin turn that got them on the freeway and turned up the radio as they headed up the canyon. The on-again, off-again snowstorm that had teased the state throughout the week was starting again, s
ending thick, detailed, crystalline snowflakes dancing through the headlights as they slowly made their way up the mountain. As the curves grew more treacherous, Jonathan slowed his pace, until they were climbing at a crawl.
Meredith clung to the door handle so tight her knuckles were white and her fingers began to lose feeling. When Jonathan finally reached their exit, both he and Meredith exhaled in deep sighs of relief.
“I’m very grateful that you’re a good driver, and not just any old hot guy.” She laughed shakily. He smiled and reached out to her as they sat waiting for the light to change to green.
“I am too. I can’t make up for being a jerk if I don’t get you home safe.” She smiled softly and ran her fingers over the back of his hand.
“I think you’ve made a good start. What was it about that church that suddenly had you acting all chivalrous again?”
“It was beautiful, and I knew I’d be welcome there. Why would it be so strange that you could be my friend, when that’s pretty much how you are too?” He shrugged and turned his attention back to the road, as the cross-traffic began to slow.
“Wow. Good answer.” She leaned forward to see the light change to green and then the cars in front of them began to move through the intersection. Jonathan gently pressed the gas pedal and the truck lurched, then the ancient transmission caught and they slowly rolled forward.
Suddenly, Jonathan cursed and slammed his arm across Meredith’s chest. She cried out in pain, and it turned into a scream as the Suburban that ran the red light, slammed into the driver’s side of the truck and sent them skidding across the road and into the light pole on the far side of the road. The last thing she saw before she passed out, was bright headlights that lit the shattered windshield, and Jonathan’s still form, hunched over the steering wheel.
4.
The hospital room was bright and sterile, and she hated every second of her time there. It was Christmas Eve, and no one would tell her anything about what had happened to Jonathan, and apart from her sister, no one in her family had bothered to visit in the three days she’d been there after the surgery to repair the wounds to her leg and watch her for internal bleeding. She looked at the clock. The doctor hadn’t made his rounds yet, but she was hopeful that she’d be given a release date soon.
She picked up the book Candy had brought her and tried to read to pass the time, but all she could think of was Jonathan. Because they weren’t related, no one would tell her anything, only that he had survived the accident. The on-duty nurse came in to check Meredith’s vitals and IV fluid.
“Shelly, please tell me how Jonathan Ramirez is doing. I can’t stand not knowing if he’s okay.” The nurse looked at her sympathetically. Every four hours on the half hour one of the nurses came in to check on Meredith, and every nurse had reported back the same thing. No one had released permission to share the information she wanted with her, and the nurses agreed they were sick of having to put her through it.
“I looked into it for you, but I’m not supposed to talk to you about other patients.”
“Just tell me if he’s okay, if he went home…” Meredith’s voice trailed off. “The last thing I heard was him yelling, me screaming, then he was screaming too. My phone was destroyed. I don’t know how to get hold of him. Please?”
“Meredith, I will see what I can find out, as soon as I’m done with my patients, okay? I can’t promise give you any confidential information, but I will let you know if he’s still here.” Nurse Shelly left, and the next hour was the longest of Meredith’s life. Every footstep outside the door made her jump, and she was on the verge of tears by the time Shelly returned.
The nurse sat on the edge of the bed and handed Meredith a soda. She opened the file in her hands and glanced over it, and cleared her throat.
“Your young man is indeed still at the University Hospital.” She paused and looked at Meredith, who sipped the Diet Coke slowly and never took her eyes off the nurse’s face. “He took a lot of damage when the other driver struck you. He has been in intensive care since you both were brought in.” Meredith’s hands shook, but she said nothing. “You need to understand, he hasn’t regained consciousness, and if he doesn’t soon, it may never happen.”
Tears blinded Meredith. She nodded dumbly and bowed her head to cry. Nurse Shelly stroked her back while the tears turned into body-wracking sobs and Meredith cried until she was too weak to even make a sound.
“He was driving me home.” She finally managed a grating whisper. “We were only there because I needed a ride home. If I’d just called a cab, or my sister…” Shelly made a tsk sound.
“You certainly didn’t make that woman drive like a maniac in the snow, or ignore the red light… and what’s more, you know that.” She sighed and patted her patient on the knee before continuing. “Don’t give up hope. That’s not why I told you. But you rest up, and I’ll put you down as Mr. Ramirez’s fiancé. You’re well enough to go home, and I’ll make sure Dr. Hood sees you first. I even have your discharge papers ready to go. Okay?” Meredith nodded and sniffled, and the nurse left her alone with her thoughts.
She called Candy from the room phone and cried again, trying to tell her what she’d learned. Candy promised to come see her again and even give her a ride home if necessary. Candy reassured Meredith that Jonathan would be okay, and that she’d be there soon.
Meredith hung up the phone and hugged herself. Her leg itched in its cast, and her ribcage and abdomen still hurt from the damage she’d taken in the accident. She reached up and touched her scalp gingerly. There was still glass embedded in her skin, and the doctors had told her she’d be pulling the splinters out for a while. She knew without looking that her face was still badly bruised and swollen where the inside of her mouth had been shredded against her teeth.
She felt like a different person than before the accident, and Jonathan was even worse off, having borne the brunt of the crash. She felt more tears welling in her eyes. She didn’t care if she was ugly forever. It didn’t matter if her leg never worked right, or if she never got past the liquid diet her injuries had forced her on to while her insides healed. All that mattered was that Jonathan woke up. That he could drive meals to the people who loved and depended on him. Cecily depended on him. Jake trusted him more than almost anyone. He had to get better.
She sniffled and sat up straighter in the hospital bed. Outside her window, snowflakes fell, sticking to the window frame and turning the view into a Christmas wonderland of frosted trees and colored lights. She looked out through the frosted glass and wished that Jonathan could see it.
“God, I know we’ve been here before, with me asking for things and making promises I don’t really intend to keep,” she murmured to the empty room. “I’m not going to do that now. You need to make this right. Not for me, but because he’s one of the rarest things you have on this earth, a truly good man. Please. Do whatever you must, to me. Just, just let him wake up and be okay.”
Outside the door, Candy wiped the tears from her eyes. She’d been praying too, for her sister to finally have what she deserved in love. This seemed too unfair for her generous-hearted little sister. She waited another half-beat before knocking on the door, and entered to see Meredith wiping the tears from her face and pasting a fake smile to it.
“Merry Christmas, little sis,” Candy gushed. She handed her sister a bag with clothes and hygiene items in it. “When I checked in, the nurse at the station said she’d be to see you in a couple of minutes and take you down to the I.C.U. to see Jonathan. The doctors finally got around to saying that it would probably be good for him if you went down.” She helped Meredith into a wheelchair and into the bathroom, and when her sister came out clean and dressed, the nurse was already there waiting to escort them down.
Jonathan was dwarfed by the machines that monitored his heart, his brain waves, and fed him oxygen. He laid so still in the hospital bed that Meredith kept looking at the machines just to make sure he was truly alive and breathing. Th
e nurse wheeled Meredith closer to his bedside and locked the wheels in position. She patted the distraught woman on the shoulder, before backing out the door. Candy kissed Meredith on the cheek.
“I’ll step outside so you can have some privacy,” she whispered to her sister before stepping out and closing the door behind her.
Meredith sat watching Jonathan breathe each gentle rise and fall of his chest a reminder to her that he wasn’t gone yet. She wrung her hands in her lap and let the tears that fell from her eyes land where they may, unnoticed, while she wished with every fiber of her being for Jonathan to open his eyes.
“You shouldn’t be here, you know,” she spoke softly, but against the gentle hum of the machines, her voice seemed unnaturally loud. “You have deliveries to make. People who are counting on you. I don’t know who you think you are, just lying here…” her voice cracked and trailed off as the tears increased and her weeping became sobs. “Damn you for being here. Damn you for not waking up.” She hid her face in her hands and sobbed, for the sacrifice he’d made that put him in that bed, for being everything she’d always wanted and being taken away from her.
She didn’t stop crying even when she felt a hand on her shoulder. Candy didn’t say anything, just held her sister and waited. When Meredith stopped, and sighed out a heavy breath, Candy stuffed a wad of tissues into her hand. Meredith wiped her face and her eyes, and blew her nose, then wiped her eyes some more. She lowered the now soggy wad of Kleenex to her lap and thanked Candy in a husky voice.
“I’m ready to go now, Candy. I can’t be here anymore. I’m nothing to him, and we broke the rules enough so I could see him. I don’t want… I don’t want anyone in trouble because of me.” When Candy didn’t move to unlock the wheels of the chair, Meredith looked up over her shoulder. “It’s time to go, Candy. I don’t have the right to be here. He doesn’t belong to me.” She sniffled and batted her nose with the mess of tissue in her shaking hand, but her sister only stared past her at the figure on the bed.