by JA Low
My heart sinks in my chest. Realization smacking me in the face as hard as the car did—Elliot Jones has only ever seen me as a sister figure. He’s never seen me as anything else.
Wow. That hit me hard.
Harder than I thought it possibly could.
I’ve been an idiot all these years pining after him, hoping and wishing he would see me as something more than his employee or friend. I’ve been zoned way beyond a friend. I’ve been put into the dreaded family zone, which means he’s never once been attracted to me or seen me any other way. Once you are in that zone, there’s no coming back.
Ariana looks over at me, and she can see that EJ’s statement stung.
“Wow, that’s the worst tasting coffee ever.” Dan walks back in, sipping on his coffee. “It’s like tar.” He’s oblivious to what’s been going on in the room as he walks over and places a kiss on my cheek, then sits beside me. He looks up, the weird tension in the room swirling around like a tornado. “So, what’s going on?” he asks.
“EJ has asked me to move in with him,” I explain.
Dan’s eyes widen as he looks around the room.
“She needs round-the-clock care, and I can provide that for her,” EJ interjects.
Dan is quiet for a couple of beats, then says, “Well, that’s better than being stuck in Vegas, hey, babe?” His answer surprises me.
“Yeah, I guess.”
“Thanks so much, EJ, for helping my girl. I would if I could, but I don’t live alone,” Dan tells EJ.
“I have space, plus we work together, so it makes sense,” EJ explains.
My head moves back and forth between the two of them like I’m watching a tennis match. Even Ariana looks surprised by Dan’s reaction.
“We might leave you guys to it.” Ariana motions for EJ to follow her, and they walk out of my hospital room with me watching every step.
“That was so nice of EJ to offer to look after you. Not many bosses would be so kind,” Dan tells me.
“And you’re okay with it? Me moving in with another man?” I’m a little surprised he is okay with the idea.
“Of course. He’s your boss, and you guys are all friends. I see the way he’s with you… there’s no flirtation at all. I mean, he treats you like his kid sister most of the time.” Dan chuckles.
Wow. Okay. I’ve been utterly delusional when it comes to EJ. Has everyone in the world seen the signs that he’s not interested in me? And I was the only loser who didn’t?
“Okay, well, if you are fine with it, then I am, too.”
Dan leans over and kisses my cheek. “I trust you. Plus, you have a broken leg. Don’t think you would be getting up to any mischief with that.” He grins. Not that I would anyway. “I have to go, babe. I’m catching up with some friends tonight for dinner,” he tells me.
Is he fucking serious?
“Oh, I thought you would be staying a little longer?” Pouting, I look over at him.
“I’ve been here most of the day,” he states the fact as if it explains everything. “You need your rest.” He stands and kisses my forehead before leaving. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Can you pack everything in my hotel room for me, please?” I ask.
“Of course.” Dan grins, then he’s gone.
I feel alone and upset. Stuck in this bed while he’s out having the time of his life in Vegas. Dammit!
I must close my eyes for a little bit because EJ is back in my room, sitting by my bed when I wake.
“Hey,” I greet him groggily.
He’s there instantly with a bottle of water and a straw, helping me take a sip. The cold liquid feels excellent on my parched throat.
“What are you still doing here? It’s getting late.” Looking over at the clock beside the bed, it tells me it’s after eight in the evening.
“Visiting time is nearly over, so I thought I would wait till the last moment before I left.” That’s nice. I wish Dan felt the same. “Where’s Dan?”
“He left a while ago. He’s catching up with friends.” Saying it out loud feels like acid against my tongue. Dan should be here beside me, not EJ.
“He’s gone out?” I can hear the accusation in his voice, and the look on his face tells me EJ’s anything but happy about it.
“Visiting hours are almost over like you said,” I try to defend him.
“And yet, here I am, the last man standing,” he adds sarcastically.
“I know you disapprove of him, EJ, but he’s my boyfriend. If we are going to be sharing a space, you’re going to have to get used to him visiting me.” I can see EJ’s lip curl at that thought.
“I was kind of hoping he wouldn’t,” he mumbles under his breath.
“Then maybe I shouldn’t stay.”
“Stells.” EJ gives me an exhausted look, his eyes close, and he breathes out heavily.
“What do you want from me, EJ? I’m stuck in this frickin’ bed. I didn’t ask for any of this to happen to me. I’m exhausted. I’m in pain.” Tears begin to well and fall down my cheeks. “I just want to go home,” I state the obvious as I break down for the first time since the accident.
“Shit, Stell.” EJ pulls me against his hard body, and he lets me cry. I let it out everything that I have been keeping in. “It’s going to be okay,” he tells me as his hand strokes my hair. “I’ve got you.”
My body relaxes against his as my face buries itself into his neck. We stay like this for a while. EJ is soothing me until I can finally pull myself together. Eventually, I’m well and truly exhausted, and I pull away from his embrace, but he stops me, wrapping his large palm around my neck as his thumb rubs the salty tears from my cheeks. His green eyes sparkle under the hospital lights. He has a five o’clock shadow forming across his jaw, which tickles me as I clung against him.
A strange look falls across his face as EJ stares down at me.
Time stops.
Tensions swirls all around us.
It feels intimate.
His green eyes look down at my lips.
Is he going to kiss me? No. Internally I shake my head.
He wouldn’t be so stupid, would he? The next thing I know, EJ is moving toward me. Nope, he’s going for it. He’s actually going to try to kiss me.
Pulling myself out of his grasp and away from his wayward, flying lusciously plump lips, my voice rises, and it sounds high-pitched.
“What the hell, EJ.”
His face turns bright red with embarrassment. “Shit, Stell. I thought there was a moment between us…” He runs his hand through his hair nervously. “I obviously read the moment wrong. Shit.”
“You think?” Looking none too pleased, I remind him, “I have a boyfriend, EJ.”
“I know.” He gives me a sheepish grin.
“I know you don’t believe in monogamy or the sanctity of a relationship, but I do,” I reprimand him.
“What the hell does that mean?” He glares at me.
“Means you like your harem of women. One for each day of the week as I remember. Then, when you’ve had your fun, you swap one out for another.” Anger bubbles within my words. “It’s all on a surface level with you.”
“You think that’s who I am?” He’s stunned by my comments.
“I don’t think it… I know it. I see it. Remember, I’m the one who has to deal with the trail of broken hearts. The one that sends them the ‘thanks, but no thanks’ parting gifts when you’ve tossed them away.”
“You what?” EJ looks at me strangely.
“I send them flowers and a nice note from you to smooth things over, so they don’t hate you,” I tell him.
“Why the hell would you do that?”
“Because it’s the decent thing to do. Because those women deserve something more than ‘thanks, but my dick is sick of your vagina message’ you always give them.” The monitor beside my bed is going crazy, the angrier I get.
“I’m honest with them from the start. The women aren’t under any illusion that whateve
r we have is anything more than fun or helping to increase their social profile. It goes both ways. The women use me, too,” he tries to argue with me.
“Poor EJ…” my mouth pulls into a sarcastic pout, “… the beautiful supermodels use me for my fame,” I tell him sarcastically as I roll my eyes at his lame excuse.
“You seriously see me as this monster.” His face falls as hurt flashes behind his green eyes. Shit. I’ve gone too far.
“Not always.”
“Fuck, Stell…” He rakes his hand through his hair, “… I had no idea I disgusted you this much.” He stands abruptly. His chair makes a loud scraping sound across the hospital floor.
“EJ.” Seeing that my words have hurt him, I try to placate him.
“Visiting time is over, Stell. I’ll let you have some rest. It’s been a huge day.” There is no emotion in his voice as he says the words to me. “I have to organize things at home for your stay.”
“EJ, please. I’m sorry. I…”
He shakes his head as I trail off.
“You have nothing to be sorry for.” And with that, he turns on his heel and leaves me alone in my hospital room, feeling like the biggest bitch in the world.
6
EJ
I’m the biggest idiot in the world.
Why the hell did I think it was a good idea to try and kiss Stella?
Am I insane?
Am I that delusional that I thought she might want me to or perhaps felt the same way?
She has a boyfriend. Did I seriously believe that Stella would be unloyal to Dan? No.
Then what was I thinking? You were thinking with your dick.
Then to know she looks at me with such disgust over my dating habits has thrown me big time. I know I’m bad. I know I’m a serial dater, but I thought being honest with the women regarding my intentions made me a good guy, and no one would get hurt if I were honest with them, but that doesn’t seem to be the case.
“You okay?” Chloe asks as she and Noah catch me stumbling back from the breakfast buffet, lost in my thoughts.
“Do I mistreat women?”
“Wow. Okay. That is a lot to unfold so early in the morning.” Chloe grins. I give her a look. “Oh, you’re serious.”
“It was something that Stella said after I tried to kiss her, and—”
“You what?” Chloe and Noah raise their voices, interrupting me.
“Please tell me you didn’t?” Chloe questions.
“I thought we were having a moment, and I just, you know, went for it. It felt right until I knew it wasn’t.”
Noah shakes his head, disappointed at me.
“Why the hell would you do that?” Chloe punches me in the arm. “What were you thinking? Poor Stella.”
“Poor Stella?” I’m confused by my sister’s reaction.
“Yes. Poor Stella. She’s had a traumatic car accident, has a boyfriend, and then her boss tries to kiss her.”
When she puts it so bluntly like that, it makes me seem like a dick.
“Stella broke down, and I was comforting her, and I just thought—”
“Elliot,” Chloe says my full name, and I know I’m in trouble.
“I know, okay, you don’t need to say anymore.” Running my hand through my hair, I continue, “I know I have messed up.”
“What did Stella say?” Noah asks.
“She said that I have a harem of women on call and that she sends them breakup flowers from me to smooth over their broken hearts.” Noah and Chloe look at each other then back to me. “I don’t think that’s fair.”
“You do have a number of women on standby, though,” Chloe states.
“Maybe, but there are many who use me to strengthen their profiles, so it’s a win-win,” I try and explain.
“Why are you so upset that Stella sees you as a playboy?” Noah asks.
“I don’t like it. I’m not a douche.”
“We know you’re not a douche, EJ, but—” Chloe starts.
“But what?”
“You have always known Stella has had a crush on you.”
Yes, this is true, and I thought it was cute. I knew we would never cross the line no matter how beautiful or unique I think of Stella. I need her more in my life than a one-night stand. “So, seeing someone you like night after night hook up with every woman in New York would make you look at that person differently,” Chloe explains.
“We have always teased you over your dating life, and you have always taken it with a laugh. Why is it now affecting you?” Noah asks.
His question makes me frown.
“Is it because you see Stella differently now?” he asks.
Dude, that was bro code. I told him my confused feelings in confidence. What the hell was I thinking? Of course, he would tell my sister everything.
“You like Stella?” Chloe’s voice raises.
“What, no. Um. I just…” I can’t help but stumble over my words.
“Then why the hell kiss her if you don’t?” Chloe questions.
“I’m confused,” I confess. “I don’t know what’s happening. Finding out about Stella almost dying seems to have triggered something inside me. Maybe it’s PTSD from Mom and Dad. I don’t know.”
Chloe’s face softens. “You think Stella’s accident is bringing up feelings about Mom and Dad’s accident?” I can hear the compassion in my sister’s voice, and I know it’s said out of love.
“I don’t know. It seems the only logical explanation for having feelings for Stella.”
“Or maybe you’ve simply realized that Stella means more to you than you have let yourself believe,” Noah adds.
“Yes, that,” Chloe agrees.
“Of course, I have feelings for Stella. She’s amazing. I’m also not blind... she is stunning.” No point beating around the bush with these two anymore, so I lay it on the line.
“There is more to someone than their looks, Elliot,” Chloe says.
“I know that. See, even you think I’m this shallow douchebag.”
“No, I don’t,” Chloe adds quickly. “But I do think you’re distracted by shiny, new beautiful things.”
“What would have happened if Stella had kissed you back?” Noah asks.
“I don’t know,” I reply. “Guess that’s never going to happen, so it doesn’t matter.”
“So…” Chloe’s eyes widen as she asks the question, “You want to try and kiss her again?”
“No,” I answer too quickly, and Chloe raises a brow. “Fine. Yes. I want to kiss her. I want to know if there’s anything there between us. Are you happy now?” I ask the two of them after they tag-team me into submission.
“Not really. Stella is my friend, and she is happily dating someone else,” Chloe tells me. “She doesn’t need you coming in and complicating things, does she?”
“I’m a selfish prick. I get it.” Frustration runs up my spine while I rub the back of my neck.
“Would you stop that? You’re not a monster, Elliot,” my sister chastises me. “You are grappling with your newfound feelings, and I think you’re putting your needs ahead of Stella’s at the moment. I want nothing more than the two of you to be together,” she confesses, which surprises me. “But I don’t think now is the right time.” Chloe gives me a sad smile. “Stella needs a friend… her recovery is the most important thing right now.”
Chloe’s right. Just because I’ve discovered these feelings doesn’t mean Stella has. It’s selfish of me to want to see where they lead for my sanity when, in fact, it’s not the kind of drama Stella needs at the moment. She is helpless, and she doesn’t want me being a creep in her time of need.
“Are you going to be able to live with her and these newfound feelings?” Noah asks.
“Of course, I can. You guys are right. It’s all about Stella’s recovery. Plus, as much as I hate him, she seems to like Dan, and it’s not my place to mess that up.”
Noah slaps me on the back. “Dan is eventually going to mess up. You’re just go
ing to have to be patient,” Noah reassures me.
He’s right. I have no doubt Dan is going to fuck things up, but Stella is going to have to find out the hard way that he isn’t suitable for her.
“Thanks, guys. I appreciate the talk.”
“If you want to win Stella’s heart, EJ, when you take her home, show her another side to you.” Chloe tries to help with her words. “Stella knows you as well as we do. But because of the feelings she’s had for you, that might be clouding the image we see of you. Do you get what I mean?” I nod my head in understanding. I know what my sister means.
Hang up my playboy boots.
7
Stella
It’s time to leave the hospital. The doctor has cut my cast so I can fly, and EJ has organized for a nurse to be at his apartment to glue it back together again when we arrive there.
“I’ve never been on a private jet before,” Dan states excitedly as we travel from the hospital to the airport. At least he was here on time today and not hungover.
“You think you might be able to stay with me tonight?” I ask while resting my head against his hard shoulder.
“I think you are going to need your rest. Plus, I don’t want to kick you in the middle of the night.” He gives me a megawatt grin to smooth out his rejection.
“You’re right.”
“I promise I’ll come over tomorrow and see you.” Dan places a kiss on my hand, reassuring me.
It’s not the end of the world, Stella. You’re just being needy.
It’s not long until we arrive at the airport. Dan helps me out and into a wheelchair to push me to the stairs of the jet, and that’s where I see the others for the first time. Elise is in a wheelchair too, being pushed toward another plane. We give each other a wave across the tarmac. Then I see Emma, and the sparkle has disappeared from her eyes. She looks lost, a shadow of the person she was. There’s a large white bandage across her face. She looks up and sees me in my chair and gives me a small smile. Then she grimaces as her hand reaches for the bandage. The smile must have pulled at her stitches, which I know would have hurt. She turns her back on me and heads up the stairs into the jet, leaving a sad-looking dejected Anderson trailing behind her.