Slade hadn’t seen hide nor hair of the others, except for Emily. Slade wondered what they were all doing. If they had started a cleaning project he should go help them. This could be done later since there were still three and a half hours until lunch. If they were training, they’d call Slade, right? Yeah, even though Cap was ticked, he would call him in for training.
The bumper was so much larger than Slade ever realized. Was he even a quarter of the way done with it yet? Did it matter? This was far preferable to having to talk to anyone this morning. The way rumors spread, the entire department had to know by now about the ‘fight’.
Honestly Slade didn’t regret it. Not one bit. JFK was way out of line, not to mention grossly inaccurate. Well, accurate about the poem, but not about the girl.
Why had she run off, though? It would have been so easy to jot a note on the whiteboard, or leave a note with Emily, or tell Emily to tell him something, or call, or text. But she had just left him.
And here he was again. Of course she ran off. It was going to happen sooner or later, which was the entire reason he had decided to not get attached so he should just shut up and be glad she was gone now, and not months from now after he was even more attached.
But oh, what he wouldn’t give to know her reaction to what he had written about her. Yeah, she had been crying and he thought she mouthed Thank you, but any of that could have been misconstrued. He didn’t care what she thought about the quality of the so-called poem; he wasn’t a first-grader looking for his mother’s approbation. He wanted to know how it had made her feel. She deserved to feel special, not self-conscious or self-doubting. And all the other not-enoughs she had spouted in the stairwell before they kissed.
Had that kiss really happened or was it a dream? Yes, it happened, and it had just made him want more. It was not a bad idea to kiss her; he had to stop her from saying those things at any cost, but it was a dangerous idea.
A classic firefighting slogan came to mind: Risk little to save little, risk a lot to save a lot. That kiss had been worth the risk. As much as he’d love to be able to forget he’d ever heard her talk like that, what he really wanted was to pull those harmful thoughts and self-doubts out of her heart like a doctor removing tapeworms or Dumbledore pulling memories with his wand, bottling them, and hiding them away forever.
That’s all he wanted from her. But she hadn’t even stuck around long enough for him to know how or if she’d been affected.
“Wax-on. Wax-off.”
The intercom crackled and Slade waited for the dispatch, but Cap’s voice came instead. “Slade Powers to the community room. Slade Powers, report to the community room.” Usually Cap sounded like he was talking through a smile, but now he sounded all serious.
Slade gathered his cleaning supplies and put the lid on the aluminum polish as he hurried across the bay. He deposited the things on the workbench and pulled a paper towel to wipe his hands, then jogged toward the door to the station interior. Why would he be summoned to community room? Training? A station tour? He hadn’t heard the doorbell ring.
No, Cap probably wanted him to vacuum the huge room using a straw and his lungs. O.G. had mentioned on various occasions that he had to do that as a boot, but Slade doubted it. Well, he had until the toothbrush and bumper experience.
The next month until his extended probation officially ended was going to be miserable.
As soon as Slade darted into the community room, he came up short. The tables had been folded and stored in the closet, but chairs were set up facing the front of the room. Poppy stood at one end of the room, smiling a confident, closed-mouth smile.
Near her, Cap was standing behind the podium like he was officiating in a ceremony.
Emily sat in a chair facing Poppy. Cap’s wife, Sage, was in the seat next to her. On the other side of the room sat O.G., nodding supportively at Slade. Somewhere in the middle Boston and Link sat, but not next to each other.
Whatever was going on, Slade was pretty sure he’d rather be sucking up dust bunnies through a straw than taking part in these proceedings.
That’s right, my poem. They’re going to lynch me here and now for turning the hallowed fire station into a mamsy-pamsy poetry garden.
Cap slammed a gavel onto the podium three times. “The Court of Park City Fire Department Station One is now in session. Slade the Poet Powers vs. Poppy and Her Smile of Destiny.”
Everyone seemed relaxed. Poppy’s smile had turned slightly … what was the word? Competitive? Slade had been summoned but he did not want to be there, especially knowing that he was at the center of attention. He’d gone into the reading the night before knowing full well that his public display of poetry would open him up to endless humiliation, but he hadn’t expected it so soon and so drastic.
“Judge and Jury in this case will be Probationary Firefighter Powers. On trial is love.” Cap glanced at his wife and got that sickening grin on his face he always did when she was around. Looking back at Slade he went on. “Your honor, this morning you will judge the merits of love versus loneliness. Cases will be made for and against love and the rehabilitation of a broken heart.” Cap motioned him forward.
For a few seconds, then a few more, Slade hesitated. When Cap waved again, he had no choice.
From the shelf of the podium, Cap withdrew a wig like an English judge would wear and placed it on Slade’s head. Then he held out the gavel. Slade looked at it, but didn’t accept it.
“Just a sec, Cap.” Slade walked over to Poppy and whispered, “I don’t know what this is, but I don’t want to do it.”
There was pity and concern in her smile when Poppy replied, “I know it might hurt, and I know you don’t want to have to do it in front of the guys. But you want to know what else I know? I will fight for you, Slade. I refuse to let you bury your heart in a dark hole. I am strong enough to convince you to open your heart and let someone in. I hope it’s me.”
She was strong enough? Had she said yesterday she wasn’t strong enough? Maybe she had truly heard and internalized what he’d said in his poem. Maybe it had been the antidote to her poisonous thought. But that still didn’t answer the questions about why they had to do this here and now.
“This is not a game,” said Slade, eyeballing side-by-side as best he could without turning his head. “I already gave these guys enough ammunition to use for my entire career. If we need to talk then let’s go talk.”
“That’s not enough. I’m … hm, I’m not sorry, I’m sad that you have to go through this, but you are worth fighting a total war for, and until you tell me that you aren’t in like with me any more, I’m going to bring everything I have against you.”
She wasn’t joking, he knew it, and he didn’t know how to react. He was so tempted to turn and run from the room. Or at least walk away with what little pride he had left.
“One sec.” He went back to Cap and again spoke quietly enough to prevent anyone else from hearing. “Do I have a choice in this, sir?”
“Consider this your penance for the incident last night. Do this and it will be forgotten as far as I’m concerned.”
“No more toothbrush discipline?”
“Huh? Toothbrush?”
“You didn’t tell Emily to give me that job?” Slade looked over his shoulder at Emily, who sat there with a guilty grin on her face.
“Let me guess, toothbrushes and the truck? Waxing or degreasing?”
“Polishing the tailboard.”
“That’s a good one,” said Cap giving Emily a nod of respect. “She told me she would keep you busy while this was set up. Listen, Slade, a few months ago, I was right there with you. The risk of loving anyone was way too big to take. I almost missed out on the best thing in my life because I was scared to trust myself.”
Cap was hopeless whenever Sage came up, unbearably ga-ga over her. Still, Slade had never seen Cap proselytize the merits of love like this. “You sound like my fairy godmother.”
“Do this and you are one of the crew. No more late n
ight studying; kick back and watch a movie with us. Ride forward in the rig instead of backward. I won’t let anyone call you boot or booter. And we’ll all pitch in on chores, so you aren’t stuck doing so much by yourself. Full member of the crew.”
That wasn’t worth it. Slade would rather spend his whole career as a boot than subject himself to this humiliating court. But could he really walk away and leave them all sitting here? Then again, what could they do, fire him?
Maybe.
“It’s not worth it,” said Slade quietly.
“Then how about this,” said Cap, leaning closer. “Walk over to that girl over there smiling that scared smile. Tell her that all the work she went through to set this up was a waste of time and effort. Tell her that she isn’t worth it. Just tell her she isn’t important enough to you for you to submit to this little kangaroo court. Go ahead, Slade. Step on her feelings; take her offered heart and throw it in the mud. Do that and I guarantee you’ll lose a lot more in the eyes of these guys than you would by going through a time-honored Station One tradition. What you did last night was one of the biggest displays of bravery I’ve seen in my entire career. Was I wrong about you?”
“With all due respect, sir …” Usually that phrase was followed up by laughing and taunting since it was well-known in the fire service and Army that you were about to say something that showed a complete lack of respect. But neither Slade nor Cap was even close to smiling. “I don’t care about your opinion in that regard. Or theirs.”
The only opinion he did care about in matters of the heart was Poppy’s. It was the only opinion he’d cared about in years. Reluctantly, Slade peeked over his shoulder. Poppy’s mouth was closed in a smile that was scared, as Cap had said. It was also pleading. The wrong response right now from him would hurt her, there was no doubt. And it just might be the final straw in their relationship, if you could even call it that.
But he hadn’t asked for this. Why did being near her demand that he be in love with her? It wasn’t fair, and it was going to hurt, but she had forced him into a position where one of them had to be hurt and there was no way he was going to let her be the one to suffer.
So much for all his tough talk about never being hurt again.
Feeling the weight of all of the eyes in the room, he walked back to Poppy. Speaking only loud enough for her to hear, he said, “I’ll go through the court on one condition—don’t take it personally. My heart was ruined long before I met you. I’ll listen to the arguments, but I’m a biased judge. When you and your team lose this case, you have to promise me that you won’t let it hurt you. You can’t know the pain I’ve gone through. No one can, it’s personal.”
… no one else can feel my pain …
… there is nothing more personal than pain …
He finished by saying, “I’ll go through your court. And I’ll prove a heart is a disposable organ. Love will lose, Poppy. Not you. Deal?”
She looked up at him and the smile transformed slightly as she considered what he said. Whether she could separate the outcome of the court from what she perceived as his opinion of her, he had no idea, and apparently she didn’t know either. With every twitch and twist of her smile he could see her considering the implications.
Man, he could look at her all day.
“Deal,” said Poppy, holding out a hand.
Hiding their hands with his body, Slade took her pinky instead of her whole hand, shook it quickly, then released.
Poppy chuckled as she pulled her pinky out of the shake.
He turned to the courtroom and announced, “The trial will begin in fifteen minutes.” He needed to win this and put the argument to rest. Pulling out his phone, then digging into a drawer for some paper, he started building his argument.
15
Step one down. Poppy tried to contain her excitement, but she was thrilled and excited that he had agreed. The whole court idea had been Emily’s. Apparently they used courts to decide everything from what to cook on holidays, to what new television series they would watch as a crew. It was so different than what she imagined as fast-paced, authoritarian decision making that they would need at fires and on serious medical calls. As she had considered it overnight, she realized that the mock-seriousness of everyday decisions was probably a brilliant way to escape the kind of pressure this job would bring.
Poppy had her argument ready. She’d spent the night before priming her witnesses and preparing. It was Cap’s idea to call in his Barbie doll wife to make the battle even more one-sided. If Slade gave this a fighting chance, he would see the faults in his argument for sure. For maybe, anyway.
If only she knew what she could do to show him how stupid he was being, just like he had done for her last night. Not only had she never considered that such a paradigm shift was possible in regards to her self-esteem, never in a million years would she ever expect it to happen over a two-minute span in a fire station. Love and fate and God all worked in mysterious ways.
If she did win there was no guarantee at all that he would immediately fall in love with her. He had made it very clear that he thought she was good enough, but that didn’t mean Poppy felt worthy of him.
One step at a time. Poppy said a prayer in her heart that she could get through to Slade today. After that, who knew what would happen, but the thought of him going through life thinking he was ruined for love made her sick. He was a gem among men, with such a rare balance of manliness and tenderness. He looked up from his notes and she gave him the most demure smile she could manage. In matters as important as this she was not above playing dirty.
“Stop that,” said Slade, turning to face the wall. “Keep trying to distract me like that and I will hold you in contempt.”
Poppy didn’t stop smiling. She couldn’t have even if she wanted to.
While Slade worked on his case, everyone else either left the room or mingled. Emily and Sage saved Poppy from feeling out of place by coming over to her. Both of them were gorgeous, but for once, Poppy didn’t feel inferior. Maybe she should stop thinking of them as Miss Action Hero and Miss America.
“I can’t believe everyone just dropped what they were doing to come in and help with this,” said Poppy. Most of the guys were on-duty, but Cap had let her totally hijack their schedule for the morning. Not to mention whatever he had said to Slade that helped convince him to go forward.
“You’re practically family by now,” said Emily, “and not just because of the pigs. As long as Slade is hot on you, you’re one of us. Even if the big dummy inexplicably decides he’s not into you, we’ll dump him and keep you.”
Sage put a hand on Poppy’s upper arm. “If Cam can get past his issues, anyone can.”
“Okay,” said Slade, standing suddenly and turning to face the room. “Let’s get this started.”
Cap went to the intercom and called the court back in session and everyone took the same seats they had been in before.
Slade stood behind the podium and tapped the gavel. “On trial is love, and the usefulness or uselessness of a used heart. I am a reluctant participant of this trial. If any of you become jaded, or feel as if you have wasted your time, the blame is on you. Again, the value of a second-hand heart is on trial, not the value of any individual. Let the trial begin.”
He banged the gavel again and walked around the podium tenting his fingers, looking every bit like an attorney. In a real courtroom, Poppy would not want to face him; she would lose all hope of concentrating when he settled those gorgeous blue eyes on her. Six of the eight people in the room were wearing PCFD t-shirts and matching dark blue pants. Despite the uniformity, there was a definite feel of a battle of wills and wits coming up.
“A new ice cream shop opens in town,” started Slade in a clear, slow voice. “Make it Häagen-Dazs, or Aggie Ice Cream, or if you believe the hype instead of your taste buds, make it BYU Creamery. And it’s a huge hit because they offer all the ice cream you want, and it’s free! Whatever flavor, whatever toppings, waffle con
es, it is perfect.” He paused, then said, “I think I’ll start with Häagen-Dazs vanilla. Then go with a double scoop of Baskin Robbins mint chocolate chip and Aggie Blue Mint. Oh, man, can’t you just taste it?”
Ben and Jerry’s chocolate chip cookie dough, thought Poppy, wishing she had a pint in her hand.
“Yeah, enjoy it,” said Slade. “Eat up. As much as you want. There’s just one catch—on the way out the door when you are super contented and quite possibly the happiest you have ever been, they get to punch you in the gut. As hard as they want, over and over again, until you puke.” Slade clapped once and smiled. “Who’s coming back tomorrow?”
“Objection,” said Cap. “Love is not free. Part of what makes it so worthwhile is what you put into it.”
“So if I charge you for the ice cream, then you’ll come back every day? And if I overcharge you, you’ll come back twice a day? Let’s make it more realistic, more painful. Instead of a punch in the gut, it’s a hammer to the head, or a kick right where it counts. Sorry, ladies, you’ll have to imagine that one.” In the sensitive tone of a lawyer working a jury he said, “How can any joy in the world justify that kind of pain?”
Oh, Slade. How can you hurt so badly? Poppy had to resist the urge to go to the podium and take him in her arms to comfort him.
“Cross examine,” said Emily, standing and looking down at a notepad.
Poppy didn’t realize Emily had been taking notes. The ins and outs of the firehouse court proceedings were so foreign to her. She was thankful for allies with courtroom experience.
“Every time you pull ice cream out of the freezer and a scooper out of the drawer, you take a risk. Ice cream is made with eggs; you could get salmonella poisoning. It’s cold, you could bite your numb tongue and have an owie. You could eat too much then get a fire and end up puking in your facemask. I won’t belabor the point for the sake of the court. Yet, despite all of those risks, you are going to sit on that recliner and savor that ice cream. One thousand times you will eat the ice cream, and once you might have a negative outcome.”
Two Hearts Rescue: Park City Firefighter Romance Page 13