by Rula Sinara
“I didn’t come here knowing this would happen. We can’t always control what we’re feeling or where our thoughts wander, but we can control our actions, and we’ve been fighting this.”
“So this is it.”
“Yeah. Let’s not throw away our friendship, though. Promise me that,” she said.
“I’ll treasure it forever.”
They both looked at the path ahead. Life was about moving forward. There would be no turning back.
“Haki. Would you keep holding my hand until we’re almost there? Just this once.”
He pressed his lips together and squeezed her hand.
This time she couldn’t keep the tears from escaping. This was life. God knew she’d seen death many times. She was only now realizing how many faces it had.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
MADDIE GOT A second wind as they approached Camp Jamba Walker. It hadn’t changed much since she last saw it. It still had its rustic charm and central fire pit encircled by lava rocks. Breezy wood-framed tents lined each side of the camp like clean-lined art pieces leading the way to a riverbank, where guests could sit under a thatched-roof gazebo and watch, photograph or paint the scenery. Two cottages sat on the property, as well—the original one, where Mugi and Kesi Jamba lived, and one built about fifteen years ago, after Mac Walker and Tessa Henning had married and, along with their then thirteen-year-old orphaned nephew, Nick, moved to the camp.
Haki drove past Mac’s helicopter, which sat in a clearing a safe distance beyond the main camp quarters, and pulled up to an area near the cottages that had been cleared for a couple of family-sized safari vehicles. They were typically used for taking guests on day trips designed to teach them about the area’s geology, plant life and animals, and to show them ways they could be more eco conscious and do their part to save the environment.
She’d kept quiet during their approach and let Haki update her on the changes since she’d last been here, such as the sort of survivor training class Mugi loved to teach, especially to kids. Maddie understood that Haki was just trying to use conversation to regain some normalcy between them. If only he could hear the admiration and longing in his voice as he spoke about the camp. Didn’t he realize that Mugi, a lawyer, and his wife Kesi, an architect, had left those careers behind to pursue their dream? Obviously Haki knew that, but apparently he hadn’t registered it as a lesson or example for himself. They weren’t doing what had been expected of them. They were doing what fulfilled them.
She took a deep breath. His future was up to him and Pippa. She needed to stop thinking about it.
“I always loved the atmosphere here. I can’t wait to see everyone,” Maddie said, jumping out of the jeep. Between her numb bottom and cramped legs, she nearly lost her footing. She stretched the muscles in her stiff back and slung her backpack over one shoulder.
The place was clearly busy with several guest families. It was getting late in the day and it looked like they’d all just returned from outings and were getting ready to have dinner. A buffet on fold-out tables covered in white linen was already set up. Kesi, dressed in a white shirt, geometrically patterned wrap skirt and sandals, came out of her cottage carrying a large dish of something steamy and no doubt delicious. Maddie was starving and she didn’t usually have a big appetite. She couldn’t imagine how ravenous Haki must be.
“Auntie Kesi!” Maddie trotted over to give her a hug.
“Maddie, dear! Oh, my goodness, you look so lovely. It’s so good to see you.” Kesi left the plate on the table and caught Maddie in her arms. She was getting older and had a warm, grandmotherly air about her. Her hair matched her shirt and made her warm skin tone and the vivid green of her malachite necklace stand out beautifully. The artist and architect in her had an eye for aesthetics, down to the array of culinary treats she’d laid on the table.
“And I’m not ignoring you, Haki. Come here and give me a hug, big boy. You both must be hungry.”
Haki gave her a tender hug and a kiss on the cheek.
“Hungry isn’t a strong enough word. Besides, with your food, I’d be hungry even if I’d already eaten. Which we haven’t. But feel free to put us to work to earn it.”
“Nonsense. We were expecting you. I thought we’d all eat outside today. Mac is fetching some more wood for the pit, Mugi is washing up since he just got back with a group, Tessa is helping me prep and Pippa...” Kesi craned her neck and searched the area. “Pippa is around somewhere. She took five of the kids with her to find different rocks and formations to see if they were listening to the talk she gave them. I think it takes someone with her energy to handle a bunch of kids like that, and she knows it takes hands-on teaching to keep their attention because she was just like them once.”
“She’s definitely all about experience and exploring. I hope she didn’t take them too far,” Haki said, glancing down the path Kesi had pointed to. This camp’s surroundings were more dense with trees and shrubs than Busara was.
“Oh, no. She’s good about that. Not when she’s alone, but with the kids, she’s careful.”
“She probably remembers the stunts she pulled at that age, so she’s fully aware of the trouble they can get into. If they don’t show up, their parents will find them dangling from trees and squealing like monkeys, like in The Sound of Music. Maybe we should nickname her Fräulein Maria,” Maddie said.
Kesi laughed and put an arm around her.
“Ah, Maddie, that is so Pippa. I won’t be able to get that image out of my head now. Come, let’s finish setting up.”
“Haki and Maddie?” Tessa came out from behind the cottage with a platter of hot chapati. She set it on the table and embraced each of them. “I was hoping that you’d arrived when I heard laughing.”
“We are here and that bread smells so good.” Maddie said.
“I was just in the back making them over an open flame with Kesi’s iron pan, the way she taught me. It’s my go-to for a carb craving.”
“Let me help you set up,” Maddie said.
“I’m going to make sure that Pip—”
“Hey, guys!” Pippa came up the path with a kick in her step and a group of kids ranging from what looked like nine to fourteen. She said something to them that put grins on their faces; then they scattered to find their parents. She hurried up the rest of the path. “That was so much fun. Great kids. Now all experts on lava rock, volcanic soil and, as always, we had a few budding paleontologists in the group, so naturally I told them about the big Kenya dig and the fossil of an ancient croc that was over twenty-seven feet long. They had fun trying to say its name—Crocodylus thorbjarnarsoni. That, my dears, is how I keep kids a safe distance from the riverbank. It works every time.” She patted Haki on the back and grinned. “You were worried about us, weren’t you?” She turned to the rest of them. “He was about to come hunt me down, wasn’t he?”
Kesi, Tessa and Maddie chuckled and nudged each other along. Kesi held her palms up.
“I don’t know a thing. We were on our way to feed the guests. Take it easy on him, Pippa. He’s had Maddie on his hands for two days.”
* * *
FOR A MOMENT, Haki felt the blood rush from his head. Kesi was ultra observant when it came to people, but, although the feel of Maddie’s hand still lingered against his skin, no way could Kesi have picked up on anything between them—they’d barely spoken to each other in front of her. And if she had, she wouldn’t have said it out loud. He’s had Maddie on his hands. He gave his head a quick shake. His blood sugars had probably plummeted and the drive had been long. Kesi thought he was sick of driving Maddie around and dealing with her determination to block the proposal he supported to protect elephants. That’s what Kesi meant.
“Come on, I’m not that much trouble,” Maddie said. She was going out of her way not to look at him. She went off to help out with dinner.<
br />
Pippa wrapped him in a hug.
“So how’d the trip go? Did you convince her to drop the case?” Pippa asked.
“No. I don’t think so.”
Haki put one arm around her and walked back toward his jeep. He really did love and care for her. There was a certain comfort in their routine and in knowing what was ahead of them each day. There was sentimentality in knowing each other’s pasts since birth. But then why didn’t he feel anything beyond tenderness and protectiveness whenever they touched? That had been the case even before Maddie’s return. Why didn’t the touch and scent of her hair when she rested her head against his chest make him burn for more? Why did his chest feel like it was splintering into a thousand jagged pieces?
He and Maddie had agreed that nothing could happen between them. He needed to get over her and make things work with Pippa. Being caught between them like this made him feel like a pile of dung.
“You’ve only spent one night and a couple of days with her. That’s not much time,” Pippa said, watching his face carefully. Too carefully.
He swiped a finger under her chin and tugged playfully at one of her curls. She seemed satisfied that everything was okay.
It had been only one night, but a very long one. He still had their earlier scare on his mind, too. Pippa had no idea how much “convincing” had happened since they’d left Busara. But if Maddie managed to kill the proposal, it’d be enough to kill any attraction between them. Right? What if she didn’t? Pippa elbowed him.
“Don’t look so worried. I’m sure if you get the chance to take her to a few more villages and she sees that not all farms get raided and not all farmers hate elephants, she’ll come around. I’ll make sure she spends time with the babies when we get back home. That might be another way to sway her.”
“Sure. Maybe.”
They reached the jeep and he proceeded to double-check that all firearms were locked up and secure from guests. With kids running around the camp, even a tranquilizer dart could be dangerous. He needed to clean out the cooler, too, so leftovers wouldn’t spoil in it. And check the engine oil. And tire pressure. And—
“Is everything okay?” Pippa began collecting the canteens for him.
“Sure. Why?” He checked the glove compartment.
“You seem more bothered than you should be. You’re brooding and not really talking to me. I’ve known you long enough. You have that look you get when you know someone’s close to beating you in a game of chess, but you refuse to accept it. What’s the word? Tortured.” She lowered her chin and peered at him from under her lashes. “Did Maddie torture you?”
Sweat began trickling down his back. He reached around and scratched his spine. Maddie was torturing him in every way possible. It was the worst kind of torture: to feel comfortable with someone in a way that you weren’t with anyone else, not even family. To feel that the timing of your heartbeats was in perfect sync. To be able to open yourself up, mind and soul, and not hold back. To long for more hours in a day because you spent twenty-four with that someone and it wasn’t enough. And to close your eyes and see her face, when you were supposed to be seeing someone else’s. It was enough torture—and guilt—to kill a man. He held on to the jeep, let his chin fall to his chest and took a deep breath. Too much had gone on in just a few days. He’d let it all get the better of him. He straightened his back and did his best to relax his face.
“How could Maddie possibly torture me? Are we talking about the same person?”
“I’m thinking maybe she already checkmated you on the proposal.”
“She has her lists and names, but I don’t think it’s enough. I’m not worried,” he lied.
“Well, you don’t look good. I mean you always look good, but if this is just you being tired because of all the driving and not having a bed last night, we could stay here tonight. Have a campfire like old times. Then drive to Busara in the morning.”
Haki studied the sun’s angle over the river on the west side of camp. If they rushed, they’d make it, but by the time they ate and visited, it might be too late to head out. His back really was aching.
“Are you sure you’re okay staying here another night?”
“Yes, I’m sure. You need a break and I know if you go home you’ll be in the clinic or field within minutes.”
“Okay. You might want to let Maddie know.”
“Great. She and I can share the tent I stayed in last night. Let’s get this stuff of yours inside so we can go eat.”
She ran on ahead of him as he continued to gather his stuff from the jeep. Mugi stepped out onto his front porch and waved.
“Hey, old man,” Haki called out. He took the few steps up to the porch in one long stride. Mugi greeted him with a wide smile and handshake.
“Who are you calling old? Those aren’t gray hairs. They were bleached by the sun. What’s left of them, at least. Are you up for a game of chess after dinner? You wouldn’t deny an old man, would you?”
“Challenge accepted, if you don’t mind another guest or two tonight.”
“Mind? You’re never a guest here. This way, if I lose, we can play again.”
* * *
MUGI ENDED UP LOSING, but rather than a second game, he entertained everyone, especially the guests, with stories around the lava-stone fire pit that Mac had made many years ago. Listening to Mugi tell a story was the next best thing to reading a book. He had a gift and Haki still remembered the times Mugi would gather him, Pippa, Maddie, their brothers and Nick around the fire and keep them mesmerized for hours. Tonight was reminiscent of those times, except that Maddie—no doubt trying to keep her distance—sat on the far side of the fire, while Pippa nestled next to him, resting her head against his arm. A part of him felt like one of the logs in the pit getting burned to ash. Tortured. He could smell Pippa’s mango-scented shampoo and feel the caress of her fingertips up and down his forearm as his hand rested on her knee, but for all her effort to keep her distance, Maddie was right in front of him. Directly in his line of sight. Even when he looked at the wondrous expressions of everyone else in the circle sucked in by Mugi’s story, he could still see her in the periphery. He could see her with his eyes closed.
“I believe that’s it for tonight,” Mugi said, after the unexpected ending that had everyone laughing. Haki must have heard that one a million times, but it never got old. The guests gave their thank-yous and headed to their accommodations. Haki stood, forcing Pippa to lose contact with him. He needed sleep and time alone.
“Do you mind if I leave you to put out the fire, Mac?”
He hated admitting to being tired, but he didn’t have to explain. Mac was one of those guys who understood the drive to be strong all the time and the blow to the ego when a limit was reached.
“I’ve got this covered.”
Haki removed himself from the circle and called out good-night to everyone, including Pippa, who kept a straight face, but had a confused, faraway look in her eyes. He cursed himself silently. She’d known him too long to be fooled. He was giving off mixed signals. He rubbed the back of his neck as he retreated to his tent and settled down on the cot.
Twenty minutes passed and he still couldn’t sleep. He’d come so close to dozing off...then Maddie and Pippa had entered the tent right next to his. Even with the canvas rolled down for privacy, the tents were far from soundproof and he was beginning to think that the heads of their beds backed up to his. He closed his eyes and tried not to listen, but Pippa’s whispers carried.
“Did he give you a bad time? He’s always so serious.”
“He was fine. I spoke to the people I needed to meet.” He could barely hear Maddie.
“He seems out of sorts. I’ve known him all my life and understand him better than anyone else ever could. I can tell he’s stressed out.”
“I’m sorry if my
job here is causing that, but I have to do what I was sent here for. It’s not easy. I’m exhausted myself. I’m sure we’ll all feel better in the morning.”
“If you’re sleepy, I won’t keep you up,” Pippa said.
“You can talk. But if I don’t answer, you’ll know I fell asleep.”
There was a brief silence before their hushed voices came through the canvas again.
“Do you have a boyfriend?” Pippa asked.
Pause.
“No. Why?”
“I’m just wondering how other women feel when they’re in love. How they know.”
No one spoke after that.
CHAPTER TWELVE
MADDIE SAT AT the dining table in the Busara house, as everyone called it, and sipped mint tea while she uploaded her video testimonies to a file. She’d woken up much later than everyone else, and Niara had explained that Haki and his father were both out in the field. Pippa was helping Anna with Etana, the baby elephant they were hoping to save.
She took another sip of the sweet tea and began typing up a report to send to the firm in Nairobi. She hoped it would be enough and that she wouldn’t have to visit any more villages. Especially not alone with Haki. She copied Mr. Levy on the email, as well, in case Patrick had him believing she wasn’t working as hard as he was—on a case she’d already done all the work for, no less. It certainly didn’t feel like a regular work schedule, but Patrick would have never lasted that many hours in a dusty jeep with old shock absorbers, surrounded by danger. Haki would have never put up with him. He never could stand anyone he sensed was being underhanded or had no integrity. Haki had always played by the book. He was a firm believer in setting rules because they kept people safe.
Maddie dropped her head in her hands and rubbed her temples. God help her, that sounded just like her father. She lifted her face and blinked at her screen. Honestly, was it really shocking that Haki was coming down so hard on any tribesmen who were involved in killing or setting traps? He was so caught up in details and rules, though, that he was missing the big picture. She loaded the files to the email and hit Send...and waited. The internet connection here was super slow and went out often. She took another sip.