by Price, Sarah
It was an hour later when the men descended from the barn frame, beginning to head toward the house. They unbuckled their tool belts and left them on a picnic table and on the benches by the door. One by one, the men began to file into the room, some pausing to wash their hands while others just continued straight into the fellowship room. The women greeted them with smiles, waiting for the men to be seated before standing behind them, and bowing their heads for the silent pre-meal prayer to begin.
Some of the church benches had been used to create tables by sliding the legs into the taller wooden stands. The women had the tables ready with each section filled with food: bread, applesauce, chow-chow, pickled beets, cup cheese, pretzels, sliced meats, coleslaw, mashed potatoes, and plates of room-temperature fried chicken. Once the prayer was over, the men eagerly started to pass the plates, a hard morning of work rewarded with good food and good cheer to replenish their energy and their spirit for the afternoon.
The women moved around the tables, replenishing empty bowls of food and refilling glasses of water. They would wait to enjoy their own meal until the men finished and returned to work on the barn. It was their job to ensure that the men were properly fed and satisfied before they would have a chance to sit again. The women didn’t mind, for the atmosphere in the room was one of joy and happiness.
Menno smiled at Mary Ruth when she made her way around the table, exchanging refilled dishes of meat for the empty ones. “Gut progress, ja?” he asserted happily, indicating the barn by gesturing with his head toward the windows.
She nodded, smiling at his enthusiasm. “Oh ja!”
Indeed, it had been amazing to watch how quickly the frame of the barn seemed to rise from the ashes. During the afternoon, the men’s focus would be on securing the flooring for the first and second floor as well as putting on the roof to shelter the herd and equipment from the elements. Menno and some of the neighbor men would finish the inside of the barn over the next few days. Then, by mid-week and before the holy days, the cows could be herded back across the field and returned to the farm.
“We have the tie stalls being installed on Monday next,” Menno said to the man seated beside him. “And the milk storage unit will be hooked up by Tuesday. Looking forward to bringing the herd back. Been tough with the milking being done next door.”
“Oh I reckon so,” the man said as he reached for some more cold cuts to put on his bread, already slathered with fresh butter. “Best to have this done before January and February, ja?”
Several men nodded their heads in agreement as they were too busy eating to voice their response.
Mary Ruth moved down through the middle of the two long tables, quickly assessing that the food was replenished and the men were happily enjoying their time together. She could hear the scraping of the forks against the plates as every last bit of food was eaten with a right gut appetite.
Back in the kitchen, she noticed that Melvin and Katie were sitting near Elijah, their plates of food, barely touched, on their laps. Their heads were bent together and she could barely hear what they were saying. However, she noticed an improved look on Melvin’s face. Gone was his long face and hallowed eyes. In their place was a glow that spoke of tremendous pride in being asked to help the men, as well as gratitude for time spent with his friend, Katie.
Friends indeed, Mary Ruth thought as she rejoined the women. She smiled to herself, finding a touch of irony in the fact that Melvin and Katie sat together like friends while she knew perfectly well that he had more on his mind than just friendship with her niece.
“I have to tell you,” Katie whispered, so that no one else could hear. “I received something in the mail a few weeks ago.”
Melvin pretended to stare at his food. All day, they had worked side by side, laughing as they carried boards to the men and picked up bent nails so that the smaller Yoder children would not step on them in the springtime. It had been a wunderbaar gut day so far, mostly because of two things: the men included him as a fellow worker and Katie was there to keep him company. He had not expected that she would bring up the verses.
“Did you send those verses to me?”
The question lingered between them for a long, drawn out moment. He could not lie and deny that he sent them. Yet, he had never anticipated that she would ask him straight out about them. “Verses?” he managed to say without giving away any emotion.
Katie rolled her eyes. “The Bible verses!”
“Oh,” he replied, still avoiding tearing his eyes from his plate. “Ja, I reckon I did,” he finally admitted.
She smiled. “I knew it!”
An awkward silence fell between the two friends. Katie played with the food on her plate, pushing the mashed potatoes into her chow-chow. Melvin watched her, amused with how she mixed her food together before eating it. He wasn’t certain whether she preferred the taste of the two foods combined or if she was focusing on something else and not realizing what she was doing.
“That wasn’t your handwriting,” she finally said, lifting her eyes to look at him.
The words hit him with an unforeseen strength. For a moment, he thought he might drop his plate on the floor. He stared at her, his mouth hanging open at the four simple words that she had spoken: That wasn’t your handwriting. He was at a loss at how to respond to her statement. It was wrong to lie, that was for sure and certain. Yet, he wasn’t strong enough to admit the truth. The longer she looked at him, the more confused he became and, along with that, found himself unable to respond at all.
“I know my aendi’s handwriting,” Katie finally continued, her voice low so that others could not overhear. “She used to help me with my own letters and spelling. It’s a right pretty handwriting, too.”
Melvin remained silent, wishing that the ground would open up and swallow him whole. Had she known the entire time? She never mentioned anything to him. In fact, they spent the day laughing and talking like everything was the same…just like the summer months. Since they hadn’t really been able to spend time together, especially since Steve had married Mimi, Melvin had really enjoyed the day with her. Now, he feared that it was all ruined.
“Why’d you take it from her?”
“I…” He paused, avoiding her eyes.
What was there to say? How could he explain his actions? Clearly, the knowledge that he stole the verses disappointed her. He heard that much in her voice. A voice deep inside spoke to him and whispered three words: Tell the truth. The truth? He took a deep breath and shut his eyes, saying a quick prayer.
“I thought you would like them, Katie. It’s how I feel, but I didn’t know it until I saw those verses on the note. Daed and my new mamm don’t need no courtship things like that! They’re already married.”
Katie chewed on her lower lip, still playing with her food. The silence was too long for Melvin’s state of mind and he began fidgeting. “Vell then, two things you ought to know about this, Melvin,” she started. “I don’t have those verses anymore.”
He felt his heart drop. “What do you mean you don’t have them?”
She shrugged. “Someone took them from my room. I had them under the Bible, ja? One day after school, they were gone.”
“Gone?”
“Gone,” she affirmed. “Which means my mamm has them, I reckon. Can’t imagine my daed taking them. That leads me to the second thing.”
Melvin couldn’t imagine anything being worse than the first thing. “What’s that, then?”
“You best be coming clean with Mary Ruth and your daed about having taken those Bible verses in the first place,” she stated, her voice flat and clear. “We can be friends and all, Melvin. And we might be cousins now. But there can’t be anything more in the future if you don’t fess up and tell them what you did.”
He stared at her in disbelief.
“It’s true, Melvin,” she continued, her tone serious and firm. “Stealing is a sin and you need to make this right. The guilt will weigh heavy on you until you do.”<
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The fact that she was right made it even worse. The guilt, indeed, weighed very heavily on him. More than she realized, that was for sure and certain. The Bible verses were only the beginning of it. If he confessed to that, he’d have to confess to the fire. He had no idea how his daed would react, or Mary Ruth, for that matter. All he knew was that Katie was finished with the conversation, her fork now picking up food and lifting it to her mouth. She seemed back to her old self, happy and onto another subject. When she saw that the pies were beginning to be passed around, she looked at Melvin and motioned that he needed to hurry up to get a piece before it was time to work in the afternoon.
Reluctantly, he followed her, amazed at how she had just flipped a switch and returned to enjoying the day. He realized that his fear that she would hold his sin against him was wrong. She had forgiven him long before he even knew that she was aware of his action. As he followed her into the main fellowship room to collect a piece of pie, he wondered if his daed would be as quick to forgive if he confessed what he had done.
“What kind of pie, Melvin?”
He looked up in surprise at Mimi who stood behind the table with the extra pies to bring to the men. He knew her from church and from the wedding. Technically, he guessed she was his aendi now, since she was married to Mary Ruth’s brother. And, while she looked friendly enough, he felt shy in her presence.
“He likes pumpkin pie, ain’t so?” Katie answered for him. “Maybe with some ice cream, if we have it.”
Mimi frowned. “Ice cream? It’s December!”
Katie shrugged her shoulders and looked over at Melvin. “Was worth a try, ja?”
The two friends stood side by side as Mimi dished two slices of pumpkin pie onto their plates and watched as they wandered away. Melvin felt her eyes lingering on them as they slipped through the kitchen and went outside to sit on the porch.
The men had finished their dinner and, without a warning, the room fell silent. No noise could be heard as all heads bowed down for the after-prayer. It remained silent for a few long minutes before Menno cleared his throat and, as if in unison, most of the men stood up and began to make their way outside. They still had a full four hours of work to complete in order to call it a day.
Steve walked by Mimi and paused, leaning over to whisper in her ear. “We have to leave in a spell,” he said. “Milking needs to be done soon.”
The word milking caused a shiver to run through her spine. She tried to hide her irritation that, yet again, this ten-hour milking schedule was ruining the time that she should be spending with Mary Ruth and her new family. Certainly the women would enjoy their meal then, after cleaning up the dishes and cups, they would sit in the sunroom, keeping Elijah company while they crocheted and knitted for the rest of the afternoon. However, once again, milking the cows took precedence over her ability to spend time with her friends and family.
Just the knowledge that they would have to leave soon cast a pallor on her face and a shadow on her afternoon. She ate her meal quietly, barely talking to the women seated next to her and found that everything seemed to taste like sawdust. With no appetite, she quickly excused herself before the after prayer and hurried to the downstairs bathroom where she shut the door and, leaning against it, closed her eyes as she tried to stop the swelling tears.
She had hoped that her mamm would show up at the barn raising. However, her daed had donated a lot of hardware to the Yoders and they simply could not shut down for the entire day. Yet, Mimi had kept saying a selfish silent prayer that her mamm would be there among the women. She needed to see her, needed to tell her about her conflicting feelings. In her entire life, she had never felt such emotional turmoil, an upheaval of sorts, and she needed to confide in someone whom she trusted.
Mimi couldn’t deny it anymore. She had first noticed the change during the weeks before she had moved onto Steve’s farm. It began as feelings of anxiety and irritation when plans had gone awry. She had thought it was her disappointment of not feeling like a married woman right away. However, once she had moved into the grossdaadihaus, the feelings had not gotten better. Indeed, they had gotten worse.
When Steve was around, she managed to put on a happy face. But as soon as she was alone, she felt the feelings press down upon her, almost as though there was a heavy weight on her chest. It began to feel oppressive and harmful, causing her heart to palpitate and her blood to race through her veins.
During her first week at the farm, she had wondered if she was spending too much time alone, so she had sought out Anna, who lived across the street. However pleasant were those visits, they didn’t actually change her mood. She returned to Steve’s farm, dragging her feet the closer she got to the smaller dwelling in the back of the main house. By the time she would get to the door, she’d be close to tears. Still, she had tried to hold it together.
Now, the disappointment of not seeing her mamm, combined with having to return to the farm once again to milk those cows was too much. Downright so. The tears began to fill her eyes and she wiped at them, angry with herself that she was crying at all.
What is wrong with me? She couldn’t help asking why she was crying. She had known right well from the onset that Steve was a dairy farmer when she married him. She had even known about his strange ten-hour milking schedule. But she had never imagined that life would be like this: Dictated by the confines of an animal!
Someone knocked at the door and Mimi quickly turned on the water faucet. She splashed cold water on her face and reached for the hand towel to dab at her eyes and cheeks. The last thing that she wanted was for anyone to know that she had been hiding in the bathroom crying over cows. That particular thought made her laugh for just a moment, a laugh that made her feel even more out of control than she had, moments earlier.
“Everything all right?”
Mimi smiled at the older woman standing outside the door, her hands tucked into the sleeves of her dark blue dress as she waited. “Oh ja, just a bit queasy is all,” she managed to answer. Ignoring the lifted eyebrow from the older woman, Mimi lowered her eyes and hurried into the kitchen to help the other women with cleaning up from the meal.
There were almost twenty women hustling about the kitchen and fellowship room, complete organized chaos as the worn wooden benches were folded and stacked by the side of the room while plates were washed and dried. Women began to collect their plates, dishes, utensils and cups, stacking them into baskets to return to their homes when it would be time to leave.
One of the women began to hum a song and, within minutes, others had joined in, singing the words to a Christmas song. The atmosphere of the room immediately changed from a working environment to one of faith and camaraderie as the words slipped from their lips and filled the air with joy:
When Christmas morn is dawning
In faith I would repair
Unto the lowly manger;
My Savior lieth there,
Unto the lowly manger,
My Savior lieth there.
How kind, O loving Savior,
To come from heaven above;
From sin and evil save us,
And keep us in thy love,
From sin and evil save us,
And keep us in thy love.
We need thee, blessed Jesus,
Our dearest friend thou art,
Forbid that we by sinning
Should grieve thy loving heart,
Forbid that we by sinning
Should grieve thy loving heart.
Mimi tried to sing along with the other women, but she found herself becoming emotional again. She wondered how much her sinning grieved Jesus? It was not proper to complain or to harbor ill thoughts. She knew that. Yet, she was unable to remain happy, or even just content, with her current situation. When she had Steve to herself, no interruptions or cows or chores, that was one thing. But she needed stability and routine in her life. This schedule was not helping her achieve that and, as a result, was taxing on her nerves.
> Even worse was the fact that it did not seem to bother Steve at all. He could handle the inconsistent late nights and early mornings. Lack of sleep did not seem to affect him in the slightest. In fact, he had boundless energy for working the farm, milking the cows, attending auctions, and even visiting friends for short periods of times. He never complained and seemed genuinely happy.
It was almost two when Steve came to fetch her. The buggy was already hitched to the horse and he greeted her with a smile. “Ready, then?” he asked, tying the horse to the hitching post with a slipknot in the black lead rope.
She wanted to respond “Nee!” but knew better than to make a scene. If only she could quell the rising panic that was in her chest! Instead, she nodded her head and said her quick good-byes to everyone before collecting her pie pans that had been washed and stored in her basket by the door.
“Danke, schwester,” Mary Ruth said, shaking Mimi’s hand. “Your help yesterday and today was a true blessing.”
Mimi nodded and forced a smile before she nodded to the other women and followed Steve outside the side door. He took the basket from her and put it in the back of the buggy while she waited, patiently, by the buggy door. Her eyes lifted to the new barn that was rising on the old foundation. Almost half of it was already sided with fresh, unpainted boards. It was smaller than the original barn and had less room on the second floor. However, it was well made and would suit the needs of the Yoder family, that was for sure and certain.
As the men continued to work on it, Mimi wished that she, too, could feel the joy of the moment.
“Mimi?”
She glanced over her shoulder and saw that Steve was waiting by the buggy door. He held out his hand to help her climb onto the foot-step and she ducked her head before situating herself on the far side of the front seat. Then, with a quick jump, he was beside her. He shut the front window, making certain that the reins were properly threaded through the two notches beneath the glass pane, enabling him to control the horse without the cold air coming through the opening.