by Sharon Green
The delighted tone of her voice matched her ingenuous smile perfectly, showing she had no idea that she’d completely ruined my appetite. I wasn’t sure if the others felt the same shock I had, since they seemed to be controlling their expressions in the same way I was attempting to do. Glances flickered around very briefly, and then Jovvi smiled faintly.
“It’s lovely of you to say that, dear, but it’s possible you may end up temporarily disappointed,” she told Warla. “I understand that some groups don’t Blend the first time they try, and maybe not even the second time. I’m sure we’ll manage it eventually, but I won’t be a bit surprised if it doesn’t work the first time no matter what anyone tries.”
“Oh, that is disappointing,” Warla agreed sadly while the rest of us exchanged flickering glances again. Warla clearly thought that Jovvi was simply making an observation, but the rest of us were taking it as a very strong suggestion. No matter what anyone tried, it would be a good idea if we didn’t manage to Blend on our first attempt. I agreed that it was a good idea, but it gave me something else to worry about: if we did Blend on the first try, would I be able to hide it? None of us had any idea what Blending would be like…
Warla made some soothing and encouraging comments before she left, but what the exact words were I simply can’t remember. The thudding of my heart and the frantic flying of the butterflies in my stomach combined to make too much noise for me to hear much of anything. It even distracted me from the food being served, which meant I suddenly found myself eating from a plate I couldn’t remember filling. But I was eating from it, which was an even bigger surprise. My appetite should have been long gone…
I sighed before applying myself to the food again. Things were becoming so strange that another strangeness or two really made very little difference. I noticed that the others were eating their food with a distraction matching mine, so I didn’t look at them again. Servants were walking in and out of the room, either bringing things or checking to see if anything was needed, and at least one of them had to be a spy for the testing authority. If that spy caught me looking for support from the others, he or she would know immediately that our disagreements weren’t real.
So I finished my meal and drank an extra cup of tea without looking at anything but the pattern on the wallpaper. I had always hated that wallpaper, and had just about decided to have it replaced with something less expensive but in better taste when a servant entered to announce that we had a caller.
“A gentleman from the testing authority,” the servant added, which should have eased our minds. It could have been one of the horde of people bedeviling us, like my father and his next choice of a husband for me. When I found myself trying to decide whether or not I would have preferred the caller to be my father, I knew exactly how frightened I was of what was coming.
“I’ll greet the gentleman myself,” I announced as I stood, forcing myself to ignore the fear. “And we’ll all be in the library, so have someone bring us tea.”
The servant bowed an acknowledgment and stood aside to let me walk out first, which I did. Behind me I was aware of the others rising and following, which helped quite a lot. If I’d had to face our caller all alone, I’m not sure I could have done it. Simply leading the way was hard enough, especially when I saw the man standing in the front hall. Tall and lean and dressed in the latest, most expensive fashion, his supercilious attitude proclaimed him to be a member of the nobility.
“Good afternoon, sir,” I said in a voice that insisted on quivering, at the same time walking toward him at a slower pace than I usually used. “I’m Tamrissa Domon, the owner of this house. I take it you’re here to … to…”
“I’m here to teach you people about Blendings,” he said crisply when I groped for the proper words, impatience sharp in his tone and expression. “The first lesson will obviously have to be about casting all doubt and uncertainty aside, which means my work is cut out for me. I’m Lord Carmad Lestrin, and now you will show me to the room I’ll be doing my work in.”
“Of course, sir, it’s this way,” I said, gesturing toward the library before beginning to lead the way to it. My voice was still a trifle unsteady, but now it was annoyance rather than fear causing the reaction. The man was as objectionable as the rest of the nobility seemed to be, but I had to swallow the annoyance at least until he showed us what we needed to know. After that … well, that remained to be seen.
Lord Carmad followed me into the library, and the others came in right behind him. He nodded when Lorand closed the door, then sat himself in a chair as if he were royalty rather than simply another member of the nobility.
“Yes, privacy is exactly what we want,” he announced as he made himself comfortable in the chair. “From now on you will go to any lengths necessary to ensure your privacy, and moreover will discuss nothing of what you’re about to be told if there’s any chance of your being overheard. The law considers it a crime against the empire to speak of these matters to anyone not authorized to hear them, and even people like you will be arrested and put on trial if you fail to be properly discreet.”
He paused to see what effect his announcement had had on us, but didn’t have to search very hard. The others weren’t as wide-eyed as I certainly was, but they were also far from being unaffected.
“I see you all appreciate the gravity of the situation,” Lord Carmad said with a faint smile of approval as he crossed his legs. “That means we can begin immediately, which delights me no end. ‘Soon begun, sooner done,’ as they say, you know. Now, for these lessons and for your practice times, you will need to stand in the proper formation. You will also use the formation during the competition, but once a group performs together for a year or two, the formation is no longer necessary. We will begin by having your Fire magic user come forward.”
I could feel everyone’s eyes on me as I stood rooted to the spot, back to being frightened rather than annoyed. I hadn’t expected us to get into it quite that quickly, not without an hour of lecturing first. It took an incredible effort to finally move to a place directly in front of the seated man, and his faint smile changed subtly to a sneer.
“Why am I not surprised?” he said as he looked up at me, a comment I didn’t understand at all. “Possibly because it was only to be expected. Well, they do like to do these things, so let’s ignore it and continue. The next one we need is your Spirit magic user, standing precisely two feet behind Fire.”
I heard Jovvi move to the place she was supposed to be, and at the same time felt a wave of support and understanding coming from her. That made me feel a small bit better, but I still would have liked to know what Lord Carmad had been talking about.
“Next in line we need Earth magic, behind Spirit and at the same distance from her as Spirit is from Fire,” the noble went on. “That’s right, stop right there. Now we need Water to Spirit’s right and Air to her left, again, at the same distance that the others have already established. Yes, that’s the way.”
Lord Carmad examined the spacing from where he sat, not even bothering to stand. He’d made it sound as though the spacing were important, but apparently it wasn’t important enough for him to bestir himself. He looked back and forth to either side of me for a moment, then nodded again.
“Yes, that’s acceptable,” he said, then paused at a knock at the door, bringing his gaze to me. “Do you know who that is?”
“It’s probably the servant with the tea,” I responded, remembering just in time to keep from saying I didn’t know. “Do you want me to tell them to go away?”
“Not at all,” he disagreed, showing that smile again. “You will all first step apart, and then you may tell them to come in. I already feel the need for a cup of tea, and will probably need one even more before we’re done. Go on, now.”
The gesture he used was suited for use with small children and servants who weren’t very bright, but none of us commented as we stepped out of the formation. Once that was done I told the servant to come in,
and happily it really was the tea being brought. Lord Carmad finally got up, but only to go to the service where it was put on the large table. While he poured himself a cup I told the servant to pass the word that we weren’t to be disturbed for any reason, which would hopefully take care of any further interruptions. Now that we’d actually begun, I very much wanted to get on with it.
Lord Carmad took his time getting the tea, and when he turned back to us we were still standing in the places we’d scattered to. I’d started to go back to my formation place, but a short, surreptitious shake of Jovvi’s head had kept me from doing it. We weren’t supposed to be all that eager, I suddenly remembered, so being back in our formation places would have looked suspicious.
“All right, try to remember where your places are and get into them again,” Lord Carmad said with annoyance as he returned to his chair. “They told me you people would probably be difficult, but it hadn’t occurred to me that your difficulty would be deliberate. Do try to bear the strain of standing near one another, people. If you don’t, you’ll never Blend.”
We exchanged cold and distant glances to give his theory of animosity support, then moved back into the formation. The noble was settled into his chair again by then, and he sipped his tea while checking our spacing. This time he seemed to be looking for something to complain about, but apparently he didn’t find it.
“At least you seem to remember what you’re told,” he muttered, crossing his legs before raising his voice back to normal. “And now to continue. You will each of you open yourselves to the power, and grasp it firmly but lightly. Do I need to explain what I mean by that?”
No one responded aloud, which answered his question anyway. For myself I knew exactly what he meant, since it was what I’d taken to doing during the times I felt I needed to be more alert and whole. I was opened wide to the power, but touched only the surface of it. It was like kneeling beside a vast lake, one hand only just touching the surface of the water. Plunging that hand and arm deep was immediately possible, requiring only a tiny shift of position, which would make the touch firm rather than tenuous. I had no trouble following his instructions, but out of the blue I wondered what his aspect was.
“Do be certain that you’re following my instructions about the lightness of your touch,” Lord Carmad said after a moment. “Later on it won’t matter in the least, but the first time of Blending is something of a shock to the system. A light touch will minimize that shock, a heavy touch increase it. Are you all properly prepared?”
I nodded in answer, at the same time silently reminding myself that I wasn’t to show any reaction if we did manage to Blend. Remembering things and reacting properly was easier when I touched the power, and now most of my fear was gone as well. I was as ready as I ever would be, and had the distant but definite sense that the others were the same.
“Now, the next part of my instruction may sound too general, but it happens to be a necessity,” Lord Carmad continued. “Others can only suggest the method of your Blending; you five alone can find the proper way to apply that method. Form a picture in your minds of a sphere rather than a flat circle, with Spirit in the center of the sphere. Spirit is the heart and balancing force of a Blending, sending out gossamer arms to the other four members. Those arms are as fragile as a spiderweb but as strong as woven steel, a contradiction that isn’t a contradiction at all. Please try it now, Spirit.”
For an instant nothing happened, and then I felt the oddest sense of being touched. It wasn’t a physical touch, and wasn’t even like being sent comfort or compassion. It was an insubstantial questing, a search for some sort of completion.
“And now the rest of you,” Lord Carmad went on. “Spirit has sent out guiding supports, to lead you to her central balance point. You each occupy your own quadrant of the sphere, but must be linked to the center and to each other. First spread your insubstantial arms to Spirit, and once you’ve achieved connection, you’ll then reach out to the first of the remaining three members. Do it now.”
Lord Carmad’s voice had grown to sound very small and distant, as though I were floating away from it without moving from where I stood. What took all my attention was the sense of being reached out to, part of which was an urging to reach out myself. The urging had grown in strength during the last minute or so, quickly becoming a joyous demand for joining, and happily I complied. One segment of my talent reached for Jovvi, knowing exactly where she was, and found her easily. There was a … soft jolt of sorts when I touched her, and then—
If I could have gasped, I would have. The joining to Jovvi was a double one, me to her along one arm, her to me along the other. Then the joining changed, making it me-her-her-me along both arms. A merging rather than a joining, no seams or differences, and that’s when it happened, making me want to gasp. Without effort or thought another three sets of double arms sprang into existence, linking me to the men as well. Their individual scents and tastes were in my mouth, merged and yet distinctive: the cool, slightly aloof taste of Rion, the gentle and humorous taste of Lorand, the strong and vital taste of Vallant…
I felt as though I floated in the clouds somewhere, buoyed up on mighty wings of power. I still retained my individual sense of being, but I also felt myself to be an integral part of a WE. WE floated among the clouds in a beautiful blue sky, floating only because WE wished to. OUR strength was such that WE could have flown off in any direction, but WE didn’t want to. Floating suited US at the moment, bringing a joy so great it was beyond description.
*Don’t say anything aloud,* a part of the WE sent, the Jovvi part. Rion was the strongest taste in my mouth, but Jovvi was easy to recognize. *I think we’ve done it, but we don’t want them to know.* The sending wasn’t words, but something much clearer than words.
*If we don’t want them to know about it, we’d better break this connection,* the Vallant segment of US sent with regret. *This is the best thing I’ve ever experienced, and we’ll have to do it again once that noble leaves.*
The rest of US agreed with a joint sigh, and I did my part by pulling back from the merging. Suddenly I stood in the library again, Lord Carmad in the chair just a few feet in front of me, a sense of loss filling my mind. I’d only been part of the WE for a moment or two, and already being without it made me feel crippled.
“… and now that you’ve all reached the heart of your Blending, you must reach out to the other segments of it,” Lord Carmad was saying, his voice almost a droning. “Stretch first to the member on your right, then to the one beyond that, and lastly to the one on your left. If you can’t maintain contact with all three remaining members at once, reach to them one at a time. Becoming familiar with each other is most important in this first instance, since that’s the primary road to Blending.”
I smiled to myself as I pretended to try doing as he said, knowing now that he hadn’t noticed what we’d achieved a moment ago. If what I’d been part of wasn’t Blending then nothing was, but the man continued to give us directions. If he knew, then he was wasting his breath, a pastime I doubted he indulged in often if ever.
“Just what exactly are we supposed to feel when this is done right?” Jovvi asked after another moment, her voice filled with vague annoyance. “I’m reaching out, but all I’m getting back is the impression of someone else reaching to me. More than one someone else, but how many and who I can’t quite tell.”
“But that’s what you’re supposed to feel,” Lord Carmad said happily, brightening out of his droning doldrums. “It takes more than one effort to achieve a complete Blending, and the first step is always the same. Try to become more aware of who it is reaching for you, at the same time making an effort to strengthen the connection. You others make the same effort, and then we’ll call it a day.”
So we stood there pretending to reach to one another, in reality—for me, at least—fighting the urge to Blend a second time. I really wanted that sensation again, in the same way that I’d wanted a second taste of chocolate after t
he first. The desire seemed to have the capacity for obsession, which had to be considered a lucky thing under the circumstances. If we were going to win the ultimate competition, we’d need every bit of luck we could find.
Lord Carmad waited a full five minutes, then put aside his cup and stood.
“Time’s up,” he announced jovially, brushing at his coat sleeve. “Did the attempt bring you any progress?”
“Some,” Jovvi answered with a frown I could see once I turned to her. “Right at the end there I could tell that four people were reaching toward me, and it was almost possible to distinguish one from the other. But I also had the impression that they were just reaching for me, not for each other.”
“Once they connect to you, reaching out to each other will become much easier,” the noble assured her, his tone the least bit distracted. “The important part is that they are reaching out to you, which means that a Blending is ultimately possible. If you were aware of only two or three of them, we’d all be wasting our time. Now, I want you people to practice reaching out as often as you have the strength to do it, and I’ll be back tomorrow for another directed session.”
I expected him to nod to us at the very least, but instead he dismissed us completely from his awareness. He strode to the door and left the way someone else would leave an empty room, but at least he did go. Lorand drifted to the door after him, opened it a crack, and peeked out. A brief moment later he closed the door again, then turned to us with a grin.
“He’s gone,” Lorand announced softly, sounding as relieved as I felt. “He’s gone and he never noticed. Now let’s try that again, but this time keep it going a lot longer.”
I joined Rion and Vallant in offering immediate agreement, relief turning to exhilaration. We’d done it, we’d Blended, and even more, the testing authority didn’t know!