Evie tramped down frustration at his quick exit and took the opportunity to weave her hair into a single thick braid. As she tied it off, a brisk knock heralded the arrival of hotel staff. With quiet efficiency, they completed their job and left. The door had shut for only a minute when a soft meeting of knuckles against wood sounded.
His hat in hand and hair rumpled as if fingers had mussed it, Ben entered the room. Strands of wet hair against his neck drew her attention. Awareness tingled. So close they almost touched, she inhaled a faint scent of soap. He’d taken the time to wash.
“Here,” He thrust a brown paper wrapped bundle into her hands.
“What’s this?”
One eyebrow arched. “Open it and find out.”
“Okay,” Hands tore open the paper, revealed crisp brown calico. “I don’t understand.”
Red tinged his ears. “You don’t like it?”
“Like it,” she echoed as if in a daze. “I,” she shook out the dress and soft white fabric fell to the floor. Evie knelt down, picked up the chemise and drawers. “You shouldn’t have.”
“You needed them.”
Evie stood and tensed. His set jaw and hard, stubborn gaze birthed a sinking feeling in her gut. Ben’s obstinate pride had been at the center of countless arguments.
“But we don’t-”
“Have much?” His tone firm but unexpectedly soft. “I know but you needed them.”
Worry that the cost of their room, bath and meals had already dwindled their funds filled her. “I could’ve made do.”
“You could have.” His ready agreement confused her.
“But if we’re going to-”
“I almost got you a different dress. It was brown too but with flowers the color of your eyes.” He reached out, smoothed a tendril of hair off her cheek. “But I know how important a home is to you and that we’ll need every cent for that. It’s not as pretty but didn’t cost much and I thought it’d do.”
In the past he’d offered more flowery words, made grander gestures but somehow often missed the point of what she actually wanted, needed. A slow burn started in her heart. Evie fell a little more in love with her husband.
Her smile soft, shy, “It’ll do just fine. Thank you.”
“Why don’t I step into the hall, you change and I’ll take you for a walk about town?”
“Are you feeling up for that?” Concern laced her voice as he seemed a shade paler than earlier.
“Finer than a frog’s hair.”
Her head tilted to one side. “Which is what you always say when you don’t really feel well.”
“There’s a serious downside to this memory loss thing.”
“You couldn’t fool me with that before either.”
“What would you have me say?”
“The truth,” Evie lifted her chin, challenged him.
“Even when it’s not pretty.”
“Especially then.”
Ben sighed. “I’m sore. Pain reminds me not to breath deep and I’m more tired than a man has a right to be.”
“We could stay here, let you rest.”
“I want to take my wife out.”
“But-”
“A short walk?” He smiled, dimples deep.
Only slightly impressed with his charm, her left eyebrow arched. “If you promise to see a doctor before we leave town.”
“Do I look that bad?”
“No but I worry.”
“Well I can’t have that.” Ben put his hat on, tugged at the brim. “You have my word.”
Bemused she watched him walk out, whistling. Evie slipped into her new clothes, pulled on her boots and bonnet then joined her husband. He took her hand in his and he led her outside in the sunshine. They wandered the streets for a pleasant few hours, enjoyed each other’s company. Unlike the ‘avoid at all costs anything serious’ exchanges on the trail, they chatted as they had during their sweetheart days.
As the afternoon darkened to evening, the light breeze carried the scent of rain although not a cloud appeared in the sky. True to his word, Ben sought out a doctor. The older man, in a brisk, no nonsense manner, assured them all was as expected much to her relief. After that, they ate simple sandwiches at the restaurant but tired, they didn’t linger. Evie’s nervousness returned as the day ended and they returned to the hotel.
“Shall I light the lamp?” Ben asked as shut the door.
“That’d be nice.”
The strike of the match roared in the quiet, dark room. The soft glow of the light calmed her slightly. “Shall I wait in the hall again?”
“No.”
“I’m dead on my feet,” Ben moved past her, sat on the bed.
The dull thud of boots dropped on the hard wood floor made her start. With hands that shook, she undressed. As she tossed her nightgown over her head, Evie listened to the soft sounds of his clothing discarded. The rustle of blankets followed. Her mouth dry she folded her new things with care.
“Would you mind opening the window a crack?”
A glance through her lashes found Ben reclining against the pillows, bare broad shoulders above the covers. Evie moved to the far wall, pulled the curtains aside and did as he asked. On her way to bed, she blew out the lamp. In the dark, she sensed rather than saw him pull back the blankets and crawled in beside him. Rigid as a board she waited for him to make a move.
Long moments passed. A half moon cast beams through the window, gentle light illuminating the darkness. Hoof beats, creaking wagon wheels and murmured voices came in with gusts of wind. She shifted, sought a comfortable position.
“Good night.”
Evie nearly jumped out of her skin at the sound of his voice. “Good night Ben.”
A sigh stifled, she stared at the ceiling. Evie counted a hundred and fifty seven cracks above her before she turned on her side, faced Ben. He remained on his back, hands behind his head, face shadowed.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing really, I’m tired but can’t sleep.”
“Me too,” His head turned on the pillow. He studied her a few seconds then reached out and pulled her close.
A shiver went down her spine. She swallowed the knot in her throat. As she had done so for many nights in years past, Evie rolled so she faced away, backside snuggled up against Ben. His breath tickled her ear. His hand splayed over her stomach. His warmth both disturbed and comforted.
“Better?”
“A little,” Tears thickened her voice as melancholy took hold. Muffled conversation drifted from the next room through the wall in front of her.
“You want to talk about what’s bothering you?”
Her fingers toyed with a loose thread. “No.”
“I’m sorry.”
The wealth of sadness in his simple statement commanded Evie’s attention. She turned to face him again. “What are you sorry about?”
“Everything,” His arm remained over her waist but his hand now rubbed gentle circles on her back.
Shock rendered her mute for several seconds. “You aren’t responsible for everything.”
“I’m responsible for us, for what went so wrong.”
“No,” she lifted a hand, cupped his cheek. “We’re responsible for what’s wrong and we’ll fix it, together.”
“I hope you’re right.”
“Of course I am. Have you ever known me to be wrong?”
Her transparent attempt to lighten the mood made Ben shake his head. “My dear wife my memory of you is measured in weeks.”
“And in that time?” Undeterred she persisted.
“I can’t think of any specific instances.”
“Exactly.”
He snorted, “You are unbelievable.”
“I’m glad you noticed.” Humor flavored her voice.
“Seriously, you are.”
Her mood shifted without warning. Bitterness dulled her voice. “I wish you believed that before.”
Silence enfolded them like an old wool blanke
t, suffocating and uncomfortable. Minutes ticked by, slowly.
“I can’t change what’s already happened,” his tone somber.
You’d carry a grudge to the grave.
Is I’m sorry never good enough?
Echoes of the past, haunted her and embarrassment heated her face. Whenever they made progress toward healing their strained relationship, she seemed to ruin it.
“Ben I-”
“We need to sleep. Let’s talk in the morning.”
“But,” then she noticed the deep lines of exhaustion on his face. “Sure that’s a good idea.”
Evie watched him close his eyes, waited until he started to breathe deeply then rolled onto her back but stayed in the circle of his arms. Her gaze shifted, to stare through a section of window into the night. A cloud floated over the night sky, and eclipsed the moon. Regret nagged her as the room darkened. A long time passed before she could join Ben in sleep.
Around dawn, Ben jolted awake. He sat up with a muffled curse, scanned the room for what rudely disturbed him. A hard kick to his calf gave him the answer. His wife twisted and turned in her sleep as if she fought an invisible foe.
“Evie,” He laid a hand on her shoulder, hoped to calm her.
The instant his hand touched her she punched him. Knocked off balance by the unexpected strike, Ben fell back, out of the bed. He groaned, picked himself up and returned to her side.
Though he tried to evade her flailing fists, she landed blow after blow. Ben shook her shoulder hard. “Evie, wake up.”
“No.” Her voice rang with determined anger.
In self-defense, he grabbed one wrist and pinned it above her head. Her legs kicked free of the covers. He swung onto the bed, threw one leg over her thighs and pinned them. Ben then captured her other wrist and held it with the first in a firm one-hand grip. His body pressed down on her, sought control against her opposition.
With his free hand, Ben stroked her cheek. His face inches above hers, he rambled nonsense in a low soothing tone until she stilled. Her eyes opened. Evie stared at him, her expression confused and haggard. The flush her struggles brought to her cheeks leeched away.
“You okay?”
Caught up in his concern, he didn’t think to release her or move away. Ben ran a hand lightly over her hair, a gesture of comfort. Worry deepened at her lack of response. He whispered assurances unable to look away from her brilliant blue eyes.
All at once, the intimate nature of their position brought charged awareness. Her body, curved in all the right places, fit against Ben as if created just for him. His world narrowed until it held only the two of them. His free hand propped him up as he released her wrists to cup the side of her face.
Fascinated by its shape, Ben focused on her mouth. His body stiffened with arousal. He lowered his face, slowly savoring anticipation. His lips felt her breath a second before his brain registered the agitation in her voice and he stilled.
“What are you doing?”
“Ah, you were having a nightmare-”
“And you crawled on top of me to snap me out of it?”
“Well kind of, yeah.”
Her expression skeptical, she blinked several times, stared at him. “Did it occur to you to try saying wake up, you’re having a nightmare?”
“I tried that. It didn’t work.”
“Then you should’ve tried again.”
Ben tried to defend himself as he eased off her to stand beside the bed. “I did.”
“Obviously not loud enough,” Her tone sharp with suspicion, sarcasm dripped with each word. “Is this how you act married?”
“No,” his tone sharp, emphatic.
Evie sat up, her tone contemptuous. “So you merely seized the opportunity.”
“I wasn’t trying to rush you or take advantage.” Ben held her gaze a moment then reached down for his pants, started to dress. “I was trying to help.”
His voice, steady and a shade cool, finally pierced her haze of anger. The dream and her fear within it still felt real. She took in a deep breath. As Evie sought calm, she noticed that the skin around his left eye appeared puffy and red. She pointed to the area.
“Did I do that?”
“Yes ma’am.” Ben shrugged into his shirt.
“I’m sorry.”
“I’ve had worse.” He finished buttoning up his shirt then sat on the bed, pulled on his boots. “Don’t worry about it.”
“Still I am sorry.”
Ben looked her straight in the eye, “For hitting me or making accusations after?”
“Both,” Her whisper soft, husky.
“Okay,” he leaned in close. “And I’m sorry I upset you.”
“I overreacted, was disturbed by the dream.”
“You want to talk about it?”
“Not really.”
“All right.”
“Ben,” Evie licked her lips, anticipation raced through her veins. “Are you going to kiss me?”
“Definitely,” His tone dead serious left no doubt.
Chapter Eleven
Rendered speechless, Evie stared at her husband, eyes wide, heart a flutter as her lips parted slightly.
“But not now,” His expression appeared strained but his gaze held hers, calm and steady. “I don’t think either of us can sleep now. We may as well get moving.” Ben stood and put on his hat. “I’ll go get your clothes and fetch the wagon.”
By the time, Evie snapped out of her daze, he’d left. She got up, crossed over to the window, pushed aside the curtain and leaned her forehead against cool glass. Her gaze found Ben as he exited the hotel onto the street two floors below a couple of minutes later. Tears welled up, spilled onto her cheeks when he strode out of view. Sunshine poured through the window, which delivered light but little warmth. Evie shivered while she dressed and wished she hadn’t left her cloak in the wagon. She tied on her boots then made the bed. In a hurry to be ready before Ben returned, she shook her hair loose, ran her brush through it and braided it again.
“Ready?” Ben walked in without knocking which in an odd way comforted her. A normal husband acted with familiarity.
“Almost,” Evie stuffed her brush into the bag then handed it to him. “I need a moment. Can we meet downstairs?”
“Sure. Bill’s settled. I’ll be in the lobby.” He grabbed the rifle and left again.
Evie followed Ben to the hall, watched him walk away until he moved out of sight. Her feet dragged as she walked toward the lobby a short time later. With such a jarring, emotional start, she didn’t hold hope the day would get better. She stepped into the room and Ben turned to greet her.
The warmth of her husband’s smile struck her dumb. He reached out, took her hands in his. When he spoke, his low voice rang with sincerity. “You look lovely.”
“Thank you,” Evie returned his smile full measure.
“Can we put aside what happened upstairs for a while?”
“I’d like that.”
“Good,” He squeezed her fingers as they walked across the room and out onto the busy sidewalk. “Hungry?”
Despite the number of clouds that crowded the blue above, Evie felt her day brighten. “Yes, yes I am.”
Hand in hand, they walked to the restaurant where, for over an hour, Ben charmed her. He held out her chair, fed her choice bits off his plate and entertained her with stories she’d heard a hundred times before yet held her in thrall nonetheless. All too soon for Evie, the meal was over and it was time to go.
Ben gave the boy he’d asked to watch the wagon a coin. For a second he watched the young one scamper off then he turned to face Evie. His lips curved in a suggestion of a smile, forest green eyes mesmerizing her. When his hands came up to span her waist, she gasped. Her hands rose to cover his.
Warmth radiated from where they touched. Ben moved closer. Her skirt brushed against his legs. His face was close enough to touch. Their breath mingled. Her eyes started to shut.
“Ready?”
“Y
es,” an exhale, a whisper, she answered.
Before she could form a coherent thought, Ben stepped back, twisted her about then lifted. Evie struggled to put her feet and hands in the correct places as she climbed onto the seat. A moment later, her breath hitched as he slid up beside her. She stole a sideways glance at him under her lashes, nervous. Her He stretched, arched over the low back of the seat, arms above his head.
The power implied by his action triggered memories that her imagination built on and delivered potent imagery. Her pulse raced. Transfixed, several seconds passed before she averted her gaze to look overhead. The sun had disappeared and a dismal gray painted the sky. Evie clasped her hands together in her lap and tried not to shiver.
“You cold?” Ben straightened, touched her arm.
His attention brought heat to her cheeks. Flustered, she rubbed damp palms over her skirt, “A little.”
“Want your cloak?” He looked over his shoulder. “I think I can reach it.”
“That’d be nice.”
Evie deliberately didn’t look at him as he got the garment and tossed it in her lap. “Thank you.”
“You are quite welcome.” He snapped the reigns, which set them in motion and drew her gaze to his muscled arms.
A beat of excitement pulsed through her when she thought of the sheer strength he’d used to boost her up. Scattered drops of rain fell, which prompted her to pull on her cloak. In that innocent motion, her thigh brushed his. Doubt snaked in even as the whisper of a touch quickened her breath. The strength of their physical bond had distracted her in the past, made it all too easy to ignore problems.
Troubled, her emotions felt jumbled and Evie fell silent as they headed out of town. Tall, slender oaks grew in clumps on either side of them. Cattle grazed among the trees for the first miles then farms and their livestock became rare. The road roughened and Ben slowed their pace, tried to avoid the deepest ruts.
“Was it the nightmare?”
“What?” Startled, Evie shot him a puzzled look.
Ben continued to focus forward. “It seems to me that after being married for five years,” he cleared his throat. “It shouldn’t have upset you for me to be on top of you.”
Lori Connelly Page 13