by Kat Catesby
“So, you’re not scared of me?”
“Why would I be?”
“I ended a man’s life…by choice. He deserved it, but I didn’t give him the chance to be tried in court. I took the law into my own hands and made him pay for his crimes.”
“And I love you for it, Ash. I’m not afraid of your capacity to harm bad people; I’ve always known you’re not a man to mess with but I also know I’m safe with you. I detest David for everything he’s done to Elsie, her family and me. It’s a burning hatred so fierce that I took satisfaction from seeing his head explode and the light leave his eyes. I’m not a macabre person, but I could happily watch him die on a loop and not get sick of seeing it. I’m ecstatic he’s dead and filled with so much love for you for taking on that burden and ending a life for me.”
“You’re my family Katie, and no one gets to mess with that and walk away breathin’. He was always going to be a menacing specter haunting our lives from the shadows. No way am I letting you live like that. No fuckin’ way. I want a safe and happy life for us, a home we can bring children into without fear that some psycho could destroy it.”
“Children?” she asks, her scratchy voice breathless.
“I told you, Sunshine, I want it all and I want it forever. I don’t have a ring and a hospital bed is far from romantic but I can’t spend another minute not knowing if you’ll be my wife. Katie, will you marry me?”
Chapter Seventeen
Katie
My knuckles are white and my fingertips numb from clinging to him. This man saved my life. My man gave me a future, gave us a future. A future free from David’s darkness. A future where he wants me to be his wife.
“Of course I’ll be your wife,” I croak. “Yes! A thousand times yes!” Ash crashes his lips to mine, no longer being gentle and it causes me to wince a little – I don’t think there’s a bit of me that isn’t sore – but I’ll take Ash’s pleasure however he gives it. He quickly rights himself though, kissing the tip of my nose and apologizing.
Maddie returns with a drink at that point and promptly drops it while screaming her excitement and approval for our out-of-the-blue engagement.
“I knew it,” she squeals, clearly delighted.
“Knew what?” Dix asks. I don’t know where he’s been for the last ten minutes but I’m grateful he left the room and gave Ash and me our privacy.
“They’re engaged!” Maddie singsongs.
“‘Bout time,” Dix grunts as he wraps Ash in a backslapping bro hug.
Huh.
Guess it’s not that out-of-the-blue if everyone was expecting it. Did Ash talk about his plans while I was unconscious? Not necessarily I suppose; Ash and I have been pretty intense from the get-go, getting married is just the next natural step for us. We do everything quickly and getting engaged after only a few months is no exception.
My eyes feel suddenly heavy and exhaustion catches up with me. I have a lot to process, not least, being Asher Scott’s fiancée.
* * *
When I wake from my nap, I’m alone in my hospital room with Maddie; Ash and Dix are nowhere in sight.
“They’ve gone out, probably to pick you an engagement ring. Ash was desperate to ask you but I think he’s a little frustrated at himself for not having a ring all ready for you when he asked. But honestly, the poor guy wouldn’t leave your side while you were unconscious, so I’m not sure how he thought he’d get one.”
“He never left?”
“Only to use the bathroom. He slept in that uncomfortable looking chair” – she nods at the chair next to me – “and we brought food and drinks to him. It would have taken a natural disaster to move that man from your side.”
“The doctor said I was unconscious for two days?”
“Yeah. Asher says you were conscious when he reached you but you slipped under just after that. The hospital then kept you in an induced coma and ventilated you to help you breathe through your swollen airway.”
“I remember seeing him before I passed out…I remember it all.”
“How are you feeling about it?” She gently presses her index finger to my forehead to emphasize that she’s not talking about my body.
I’ve been trying to process my jumbled thoughts since I woke up and all I can come up with is relief. Bone deep relief that makes your whole body feel lighter than air because the anchor that kept you shackled and weighed down is gone.
“I think I’m okay. Part of the fear I lived with was knowing David was out there, free to hurt others and free to find me. Now he’s not. I no longer blame myself for his actions, they’re on him and he paid the price for it. Before he killed Elsie, I thought that maybe some of it was my fault. That maybe I had made things worse and pushed him to behave that way. Stupid, I know. My therapist was always telling me otherwise, but it took hearing what he did to another innocent woman for it to finally ring true. Elsie didn’t deserve what happened to her and neither did I; David was the only person accountable for his actions. He chose to inflict pain and suffering. I don’t choose to be a victim. Not anymore.
“Now he can’t hurt me. I don’t have to worry about him being on the run or released on bail because he’s nothing more than worm food. A man I never saw coming, a man brave enough to take on my baggage and break down my barriers, stepped up and took on the burden of ending David’s life. He killed for me, Mads. Ash made the ultimate call, one that could’ve ruined his life and he did it for me. Is it weird that I find that hot?”
“You always were kinky, Katie,” she chuckles. “Ash only did what he’s been doing from day one – putting you first. Gotta say I’m pretty jealous he got to shoot that motherfucker. You know how much I was itching to do that myself.”
“You and me both.”
“You really are okay, aren’t you? I keep waiting for you to retreat back into your shell, build up those walls and be justifiably scared.”
“It’s surprising even me, but yeah, I really am okay. Twice he tried to end me and twice he failed. I win. He’s the corpse, not me. I get to live my life the way I want, free from him and free from fear. I just wish that Elsie Cade had the same opportunity.”
“Nothing will bring her back but maybe her family can find some small amount of peace from the heads that will roll because David wasn’t convicted after his assault on you.”
“Here’s hoping. Now tell me about you and Dix – the looks he’s giving you aren’t the ones of a man ignoring you.” It’s true, I’m intrigued by his behavior but I’m also desperate for a change in conversation topic. Other than getting engaged, the only conversations have been ones that contain David and they need to be as dead as he is.
“Nothing to tell croaky-pants. You need to rest your voice; it’s getting scratchier and harder to hear by the word.”
Hmm.
My voice is suffering from all the talking but I’m not oblivious to the fact that Maddie just used it as an excuse to shut the conversation down. I’ll let it go…for now. She can bet her life that I’m bringing it up again later though, as it’s not like her to keep man-talk on the down-low from me and it makes me worry when she’s too afraid to share. Dix has always seemed a decent guy to me and I appreciate all he’s done for Maddie while I’ve been in hospital, but I’m not above kicking his overly muscular ass if he’s hurting my girl.
* * *
The next morning sees me developing a serious case of cabin fever. Yes, I still hurt, but I’m bored of these dreary four walls and tiny window overlooking the parking lot. I want to go home – with all the pain meds I can get my hands on.
Dix and Maddie left an hour ago, which doesn’t help my mood. They’re on the road in the sunshine and I’m purple and blue and constantly reminded of what happened to me every time a new nurse comes on shift, reads my notes, balks and then gives me a sympathetic yet pitying look. And if they’re not looking at me like I’m some broken puppy, they’re making eyes at my fiancé. I get it, the man is beyond handsome with all his beautiful b
ulk and sensual lips but the man is mine. Surely that much is obvious? Those smoldering eyes barely give them a second glance because he’s occupied with looking at me…in all my pulpy glory.
I look down at my still naked ring finger; I half expected him to put a ring on it yesterday when he got back from wherever he went with Dix. Apparently not. Unless he did get something and it needs re-sizing? But he didn’t mention anything…in fact, he’s been uncomfortably quiet on the whole being engaged thing. I’m not doubting his feelings – the man killed for me, for Christ’s sake – I’m just surprised. When you couple that with how friendly the nursing staff is with Ash and I’ve just about had enough and want to recuperate at home. Alone. With Ash.
I look up when Ash enters my room but I’m not quick enough at smoothing out my scowl.
He’s immediately at my side, compassion in his eyes and a calloused thumb smoothing out the little ‘v’ wrinkle I get between my eyebrows when I’m annoyed. I lean my cheek into the palm of his hand and it hurts less than it did yesterday.
“I want to go home,” I grumble, catching sight of a sexy red-headed nurse slowing to walk past my room and casting Ash a longing glance. “Do you mind?” I snap at her. She blushes deeply and looks guiltily at me as the scowl Ash just smoothed out deepens.
“Baby,” he chuckles, so I turn my scowl on him. He throws up his hands in surrender but still looks far too pleased with my display of possessiveness.
“I almost died and all these pretty little nurses can do is ogle my boyfriend,” I’m practically growling at this point. I may not be looking my best but that’s no justification for my fellow females to be making eyes at my man.
“I’m not your boyfriend, Sunshine. I’m your fiancé,” he whispers lovingly in my ear. The deep gravel of his voice soothing me.
“Maybe you should tell them that so they show some fucking decency.” I’m so goddam frustrated. I’m uncomfortable, broken, trapped in a bed and sexually frustrated. Ash and I have pretty demanding libidos and this is the longest we’ve ever gone without making love. Because of my injuries, Ash handles me like delicate glassware – I know he’s trying not to hurt me but feather-light kisses and barely-there touches just aren’t cutting it.
I’m a battered pulp of a woman with a high sex drive, watching attractive flirty females zero in on my husband-to-be right in front of me…this makes me feel less than stellar about myself.
“You know, the only reason I’m so well looked after by the nursing staff is that they all want to check you out. They actually use me as an excuse to be in the same room as you. I swear to god, if I have to hear one more stupid, breathy, little girl laugh, I’m going to scratch their fucking eyes out past their hyper-fluttering lashes.”
Ash is the one man on the planet who truly knows me and how to handle the emotions I feel, so he’s smart enough to stop smiling at the situation. He can sense that it’s just another stressor I don’t need at the moment.
Cupping my face in both of his hands, he lowers his lips to mine, pressing a little more firmly against them than he has previously. “You know I only have eyes for you. Once you’re recovered, I’m going to fuck you so hard until you never forget that you belong to me and I belong to you. Flirtatious nurses won’t change that.”
“No, but they’re wearing on my last nerve. How would you feel if you were laid up and looking like a battered piece of fruit with all the attractive men in the near vicinity trying to flirt with me and they were being less than discreet about it?” Ash’s face immediately sours. Yeah. I didn’t think he’d like that.
As if on cue, the guilty redhead from earlier waltzes into the room asking if Ash needs anything.
Unrepentant bitch.
I’m the goddam patient; surely, she should be addressing me first. I look pointedly at them both.
“Get out,” Ash barks at her. Startled, she makes a hasty retreat. “And close the door behind you.”
I quirk an I-told-you-so eyebrow at him as the door clicks shut. “Point taken baby, but I have some good news that I’m hopin’ will make you feel better. They’re talkin’ about discharging you tomorrow. You’ve made amazing progress, I’m so proud of you, Sunshine”
I know I’m just having a bad day but I don’t feel proud. All I’ve done is lay here and slip into a grumpy rut. The thought of being discharged does lift my spirits mind you. Continuing my recovery somewhere I’m comfortable and surrounded by people who care about me sounds like the best course of action as far as I’m concerned.
* * *
Despite Ash now scowling at every nurse who enters my room, my day doesn’t improve. Medication has managed the pain to a throbbing ache but that ache is fucking irritating, constant and everywhere.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful to be alive and feel liberated from my demons but I’m fed up with hurting and being trapped in the hospital. I’ve never been a good patient; you’d have thought the number of visits I’ve made to the ER over the years would have taught me tolerance…it didn’t.
I HATE being in pain.
Ash has nothing but patience and compassion for me, despite my mood. His bedside manner is the stuff doctor’s dream of. He’s busy chatting quietly about planning a night for us at the Rock Hard Club once I’m recovered – not sure whether this makes me aroused or angry considering the length of my recovery time…probably both – when a dark shadow appears unwelcome at my bedroom doorway.
I recognize him the instant he crosses the threshold; his is a face I will never be able to forget. My body tenses, a sharp rock sits heavy in the pit of my stomach and I can feel the blood draining from my face, making me lightheaded. Beads of cold sweat form on my mottled skin as Ash, seeing my reaction, jumps to his feet and turns quickly in the direction of our intruder. He comes face to face with Peter Marks…David’s father.
The resemblance isn’t lost on Ash who stands tall and firm, chest puffed out to make the most of his imposing size and block Peter from advancing any closer to me. The corded muscles of his forearms flex and bulge, skin drawn tight with raised veins as he clenches his fists but holds himself back. Angry Ash is an intimidating specimen and I’m glad I don’t have to stare him down.
For the life of me, I cannot think of one good reason why Peter Marks would find himself visiting my hospital bed. The man loathes me. He’s always looked down on me as some sort of gold-digger he was forced to tolerate. He has a high opinion of himself and his family’s status and, given that I was an orphan with a small inheritance, I wasn’t worthy of his son or of being considered as anything other than a scrounger. He took every opportunity to tell me how lucky I was to have a man like David.
Lucky was not the word I would use.
If Peter Marks is here, he’s here to cause trouble. And that alone makes me want to vomit all over my over-starched bedsheets.
He looks at me quickly before staring Ash straight in the eyes, his face a neutral mask as he sizes up the man in front of him. Ash has height and muscle on this guy and Ash is also no one’s fool, but Peter Marks has a fiercely sharp and cutting intellect that he wields mercilessly and that makes him fearsome in his own right. It gives him a god complex and he performs mental acrobatics designed to maneuver himself into advantageous positions and his foes into trouble they can’t get out.
Peter Marks is not a man you want as an enemy.
He makes my skin prickle with unease and has no right to be in my hospital room. My fingers creep towards the nurse call button, ready to call for help and have him escorted out by security.
“You’re the one,” he speaks directly to Ash, his mask finally slipping, revealing a flash of hurt in the eyes that are too like his son’s. “The one who killed my son.”
Oh. God.
Ash doesn’t bat an eye and replies evenly, “Damn straight. And I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”
Panic grips me to my core. Peter Marks isn’t a man you should admit things to.
“Ash. Don’t say any more. That’s Ju
dge Peter Marks.” I’m close to tears at this point. Ash just admitted to murdering his son; Judge Marks is going to bury him. He’ll ruin him and our life together. After everything we’ve been through, Judge Marks will destroy our future and do it with a smile on his goddam face.
Ash still faces away from me but I see the steel muscles of his back tense.
Just as I think he’s comprehended the danger Judge Marks presents, he takes two menacing steps and closes the distance between himself and Peter. Towering over him, he jabs a finger at Peter’s chest and speaks with a cold fury. “So, you’re the reason David was never charged after assaulting Katie; you helped him get away with abusing women. Well, I wasn’t about to let him get away with murder. You have a lot to feel guilty over; I have nothing.”
Ash snatches my hospital notes from the container at the foot of my bed and thrusts it at Judge Marks. “Here are the consequences of your actions. Take a look at your son’s handiwork. You’re an educated man, I’m sure you can make sense of Katie’s patient notes and x-rays.”
Peter opens the file and his stern and intimidating façade cracks. The man who always made me feel two feet tall breaks down before me. His eyes flit between the medical notes and my injured body.
“Be sure to look at the notes from the assault you helped him get away with; I’m sure you’re familiar with them but best to refresh your memory. They’re further back in the file,” Ash has reached a level of menacing sarcasm I’ve not heard from him before. Moments ago, I was worried about what Peter Marks was going to do to us, now I’m worried about what Ash is going to do to him. He deserves it all and more for standing idly by and enabling David to hurt Elsie and me. Ash is in control of this situation and his strength gives me courage in the face of someone I spent years cowering from.