I held my glass up and accepted the toast bitterly. My victory had come at the cost of a friendship. I swore I would never make the same mistake twice.
****
"He always did like her best." The good-humored remark came from Alex to no one in particular as I shrieked, dismounting from my saddle to race across the Academy field to a thirteen-year-old boy with blonde curls and lively blue eyes.
"Derrick!"
"Ry!" My younger brother dropped the shield he had been holding and ran at me - the two of us colliding in a hard embrace. I immediately started crying: I hadn't seen him in months and before that it had been a whole year apart.
"I can't believe you're here!" Derrick wheezed. "This place is so much harder than I thought!" He snapped his finger to show me how he cast and I only cried harder. The last time I had seen him he hadn't even known he had magic.
I blinked. Was it just me, or had Derrick's hands gotten a lot larger? And what about his arms? Was he taller too? "You're huge!" I crowed. "How did you go from looking like me to Alex in a couple months?" It was no secret Alex put on muscle a lot easier than I – even if I was in Combat and trained my body a whole lot harder.
"First-year! What are you doing? You heard Master Barclae: no talking to the apprentices!"
Derrick cringed. "I hate Sir Piers," he muttered, only low enough for me to hear.
I wiped my tears away, laughing. "I'll find you later – meet me by the stables after your dinner?"
My young brother eagerly nodded and I left the field, giving Sir Piers a gallant wave. The commander squinted into the distance and as soon as he recognized me he grinned.
"Welcome back, apprentice!"
****
They showed us to our chambers and I couldn't stop staring. After the end-of-year trials we had departed almost immediately with the apprentices to Ishir Outpost… Now, we had two months to reside at the Academy, only instead of the overcrowded barracks we had paradise.
As an apprentice we were given all the accommodations a lowly first-year lacked. Private rooms with the softest sheets, personal fires, a maid, and even an overhanging balcony with a view of the Sjeka coastline: jagged cliffs and the white, foaming waters below. The bedposts were carved from rich cherry wood and the cold marble floor was covered in silky furs from the white snow cats of the north.
As I wandered about my chambers I found an interconnected alcove with a tub for bathing and a basin for my hands. In each drawer of a well-made cabinet were freshly pressed cloths for drying and additional blankets for cold winter nights. There was already a small shelf with several books for study and a large chaise for lounging.
"Try not to look so lowborn, Ryiah." Priscilla's cutting remark broke through my reverie.
She and one of the fourth-year girls stood in the hallway peering into my quarters and watching me with ill humor. The two of them had been nothing short of miserable the entire ten-day journey here.
"It must really bother you," I snapped, "that I am no longer lowborn."
Priscilla sniffed. "You may be an apprentice but you will never be one of us."
Ella appeared abruptly and shoved her way past the cold-hearted girl and her friend. "You ready to see our new training rooms?" she asked, ignoring the others.
I grinned and slammed my clothes quickly into the trunk at my bed. "You don't have to ask me twice!"
****
"We did not return to the Academy for two months to listen to you romance your factionmates, Apprentice Ian! If you can't pay attention to your studies then you clearly have too much time on your hands. I want you mucking the stables until we depart next month." Master Byron's irritated voice cut through the slow murmur of the rest of our class.
I felt a twinge of satisfaction as the curly-haired third-year returned to his table with Darren at the corner of the room. It had been hard to ignore the way Ian kept touching Lynn's hand, or the way she blushed whenever he did. The two had been carrying on a shy romance for weeks now and since she was my mentor there had been no escape. It was much worse because I kept wondering if that could have been me, and then I spent the rest of the time hating myself.
Each mentor-mentee was supposed to be plotting strategy for the Master of Combat's current problem. We were given thirty minutes each time to trade suggestions and research using the books the Academy servants had provided. Then we presented our findings to the class going around in a circle. Each time Master Byron chose a winning approach, citing a group's merits and weaknesses for desert combat.
Lynn gave me an embarrassed smile. "I'm sorry, Ryiah, I know I shouldn't be talking to him. I just can't help myself!"
The sweet apology should have made me smile, but instead it just sent stabbing pains down my spine. I felt an unnecessary irritation at my mentor and I knew it wasn't sourced by logic. "I understand," I heard myself say coldly. Be nice! I swallowed and forced myself to say with more warmth, "What do you think about a flash flood casting?"
"It's perfect!"
We finished the exercise and then watched as Master Byron tore apart everyone's solution but Darren's. The prince's plan wasn't always the best, but even if it wasn't you would never know from the way the master praised his "insightful thoughts." It was a group effort but it was clear the man had nothing to say about the non-heir's partner.
And, of course, the man had even less to say about the girls. Whenever one of us was up Byron would immediately look bored, and then he would spend the next twenty minutes picking away at our strategy.
"Why does he hate women so much?" I complained to Ella and Lynn later that evening. I had avoided looking over at Ian the whole meal.
"You really don't know?" Loren slid into his seat beside Ella, grinning. From the way his eyes danced I knew he had a story to tell.
"Byron grew up in one of those old families that didn't think women belonged in battle. His great grandfather was actually the Council of Magic's biggest adversary when they decided to change their ruling to let them in… Anyway, fifteen years ago Byron was one of the top contenders in the last Candidacy. He made it into the top three but when he dueled Kara, one of the best Combat mages in the Crown's Army, he lost. Marius won, of course, but Byron was so upset over losing to a woman that he left his wife… There are rumors that he still harasses the Council to this day exclude women from mage studies."
"But he trains women every day! How did he end up a master?"
"Because whether or not he's fair, he's good at what he does. The local regiments all praise the apprentices that have come from his term – male or female."
I made a face.
Ella managed to say exactly what I was thinking. "Well at least he's not the Black Mage. I don't think Ryiah or I would even be here right now if he had been on the Council."
A half-hour later I was depositing my tray when Darren approached me.
I started to push past but he caught my sleeve.
I stared at him. "What do you want?"
"Did I do something wrong?" Darren was studying my face. "You haven't said one word to me since that night in Ishir."
Was I the one bothering him? "I have nothing to say to you." I made way to leave.
"Ryiah." Darren reached down to grab my wrist. The second his hand made contact my skin tingled. My heart began to race, slamming against my chest.
I swallowed and hated myself for liking it. Like Ian, the prince was off-limits. I was tired of my traitorous heart wanting things that were taken.
Or, more importantly, people that I didn't want to want.
"What did I do?" Darren's words were quiet, desperate even.
I opened my mouth-
"Excuse me."
I jumped as Ian squeezed past us, avoiding my gaze as he did.
Shame squeezed at my lungs.
Darren watched me. A slow anger was spreading along his jaw. "This is about him?"
My silence was gone. "And why shouldn't it be?" I countered. "You made me betray him."
"If y
ou had challenged him outright we would never had have enough magic to take on Caine afterward."
"A friend would never have done what I did."
"You are Combat, Ryiah. You can't blame yourself for using every possible advantage to get us that victory."
I glared at him. "You are right. I don't blame myself. I blame you for talking me into it! You really are the coldest person I've ever met!"
Fury flared in the non-heir's eyes. "When you are ready to apologize," he said tersely, "you can come find me."
Before I could take one step the prince was already gone.
CHAPTER FIVE
The next couple of weeks flew by, though they certainly weren't without their awkward silences and angry pauses on the part of my two biggest fans. The prince and his mentor continued to ignore me during our practices. I quickly got accustomed to feeling a sense of shame whenever I was in the same room as them. It was particularly excruciating during our after dinner practice when we performed our pain castings… but somehow I managed to shut out that feeling as the days went on.
Instead of letting their cold shoulders get to me, I was more than happy to spend time with Ella. My friend and I didn't have a curfew or restrictions now that we were apprentices, so we spent a lot of time wandering the small village of Sjeka during our free time. Alex somehow managed to get himself in trouble with Master Joan, so he wasn't able to join us, but my younger brother Derrick did. He was supposed to obey first-year conduct, but the chance to spend time with his older sibling was too tempting to ignore. I would have been lying if I said I minded.
"I don't think I'm good enough," Derrick confessed on the last evening before solstice. "I'm afraid I'll disappoint Mother and Father." He swallowed. "And you and Alex."
"Derrick." I reached out to take my little – well, not so little anymore - brother by his shoulders. "You can't – it's not possible. We love you too much to care if you get an apprenticeship or not."
"But you and Alex-"
I shook my head. "It doesn't matter."
"My brother didn't get one," Ella added, scooting closer on our bench. We had picked one overlooking the Sjeka coast – far enough away from the Academy that no one would spot Derrick, but close enough that we wouldn't get lost in total darkness on our return to the Academy. "I still think the world of him." She snorted. "Or I would, if he didn't hound the card tables. But I still love him."
"But Combat's my dream!" Derrick moaned. "And everyone is better than me!"
I gave him a small smile. "That's only in casting."
"But that's the part that matters!" Desperation was bright in his eyes and my heart lurched. I had been in his position one year ago. It hurt me to see him look at me with the same hopelessness I had felt.
"In Ishir I trained with the regiment," I pointed out. "Every morning we spent two hours training with the soldiers and knights, not just the mages. The things those men and women were able to do – it would make anyone proud to come from the Cavalry or School of Knighthood… I know it's not what you want to hear, but you don't need magic to be strong, Derrick."
My brother fidgeted with something in his hand. The odd glint caught my eye and suddenly I laughed.
"Is that…?"
My brother couldn't help smiling. "Yeah."
Ella peered curiously over his head to see what I was staring at. In my brother's tanned palm was a simple copper ring – tarnished in spots and not particularly attractive. It had a thick band with an "R" embedded on its surface.
I had given Derrick that ring years ago. It was actually my ring, and Alex had one just like it. Our parents had given them to us on our seventh birthday. Derrick had only been four years old at the time, and he hadn't quite gotten used to the fact that Alex and I were twins. He had thought it meant that I loved Alex more, and it had upset him to no end that I should share such a shiny trinket with one brother and not the other. Derrick had cried until I'd finally caved – and so I'd given him my own ring, telling him that the two rings now belonged to "both of my favorite brothers." I hadn't thought much of the ring since, and I wasn't sure Alex still even had his, but after all this time Derrick had held onto mine.
I thought of Darren with his cruel older brother, Prince Blayne. Those two would never be close. On the other hand, I had a twin who knew me like the back of his hand, and a younger brother who could make me laugh or cry with the simplest gesture. I was the lucky one.
****
"This place doesn't change at all." Alex's amused voice carried into my room as he opened my chamber door without warning.
"Alex!" Ella shrieked. "Get. Out!" She grabbed the nearest book off my nightstand and lobbed it at my twin's head.
"What are you…" My brother flushed a very deep shade of red as he realized he had walked in on us getting ready for the solstice ball. Though we were already in our underdress, it was still inappropriate. "I'm-" The book hit his face with a loud slap and he ducked out of the room.
"He is lucky I didn't cast fire!" she muttered darkly.
I snickered. "I think he's lucky regardless."
"Oh you!" Ella punched me lightly in the arm. "You are not helping at all!"
"Well it has been months." I sighed. "I think it's time the two of you moved past what happened. I don't like walking on eggshells."
She gave me a look. "You are one to talk. Has Ian said a full sentence to you since the mock battle?"
I cringed. "Fine. How about we both put the past in the past tonight? You don't have to accept my brother's apology – just talk to him."
"And you'll apologize to Ian instead of moping around like a beaten lamb?"
I raised a brow. "You've been waiting to say that one, haven't you?"
She grinned. "Perhaps." The girl pointed to the back of my bodice – which was in a shameless state of disarray. "You haven't been practicing like I told you."
I looked at the ground, guiltily. Practicing courtly manners and learning how to dress like a highborn had been last on my list of things to do.
"One day I won't be able to help you," she teased. "And then what will you do?"
"Wear my mage's robes?"
"Ha."
****
I had told myself over and over that I would fulfill my promise to Ella. And I really had intended to keep it. But that was before I had entered the grand atrium and seen the two of them dancing. Amidst a sparkling purple glow of the Alchemy first-years' lights, Lynn looked even more a queen than Priscilla in her blood red dress. Lynn's hair was done neatly in a simple bun with two strands falling neatly in front, and she wore a dress of sparkling green and silver trim that glowed like magic every time she spun.
Beside her Ian looked every part the nobleman, and even though I knew he had spent his childhood working for blacksmith parents, it was hard to believe he had not been raised at court. He looked so carefree and charming with his sandy blonde curls just slightly swaying as his laughing green eyes lit up the room.
I couldn't do it. Not while he looked so happy. I wouldn't ruin his evening by dredging up the past. He and Lynn deserved to enjoy their night without an obnoxious, hardheaded mentee getting in the way.
"Ryiah, come meet my friends!" Derrick came running up to me and grabbed my arm, dragging me away from the dance floor and onto one of the benches I had sat with my own group last year.
The same place I met Ian. I bit my lip and focused on the introduction – giving my little brother and his first-year colleagues the attention they deserved. I had only meant to stay a few minutes before finding Ella and Alex… but those first-years were so excited to have an apprentice to answer all their questions - especially one so infamous as me - that they kept me long after I had intended to leave.
Before I knew it Constable Barrius was coming around to send first-years on their way. He caught sight of me and recognition sputtered on his face. "You." I was the girl the staff would never forget, and how could they? I had destroyed an entire building.
I paled as the man
's scowl deepened.
"You want to know who got stuck cleaning up that mess after your trials, girl?"
"I am-"
"Don't apologize, apprentice, the man is merely jealous he hadn't thought of it sooner."
I whirled around to find a chuckling Sir Piers. All of the Academy staff had been present for the ball, but I hadn't had the chance to catch up with any of them, least of all my favorite teacher.
"Sir Piers!" I wasn't sure whether it was appropriate to hug the older, dark-skinned commander but I found myself doing so anyway. Out of all my teachers, he had always been the nicest – despite his no-nonsense ways and loud demeanor. He alone had stood up for me against Priscilla when she had bullied me in class. The man had congratulated me after the naming ceremony too – but I'd been so busy with my newfound apprenticeship I hadn't had a chance to thank him.
The two of us exchanged amiable greetings as the constable left in a huff. Piers asked me how my training was going as an apprentice and if I liked the desert, and I asked him about his newest batch of first-years. I found I liked the trainer even more; now that I was no longer his student he opened up to me about what it really was like to teach the Academy students and his life as a former commander of the King's Regiment, the personal guard to the Crown.
Eventually we were forced to part ways – the rest of the staff and students had long since departed - and the man winked at me. "This is your last night of fun, apprentice. I suggest you grab that troublemaker friend of yours - Ella, I believe - and the two of you share a good laugh. Once you get back to that desert the hard part begins."
The Black Mage: Apprentice Page 7