by RaeLynn Fry
“I know he’s here,” I say. “I saw Sari, and just now I swear I saw Kavin by the dance floor.”
“Why didn’t you bring him with you?” Dhevan asks.
“He disappeared.”
Dhevan looks confused.
“Well, we’ll save him a spot in case he shows,” Journey says.
“Did you get your extra dresses finished?” I ask distractedly.
“I did,” she says with wide eyes. “It’s great. I’m not telling anyone my secret, though; I want to stay at the top of the foreman’s list.” She giggles.
Dhevan reaches up and tugs at one of Journey’s curls. “Good thinking.” I’m hit with a pang of loneliness watching them. I hate feeling like a third wheel.
Dhevan starts talking—something about the ranchers’ P&L they just received and increased quotas to the Corporation—when I see a familiar flash of red. I take in a sharp inhale of air, choking and coughing on my food.
“Are you okay?” Journey hands me a cup of water, concern creasing her brow.
I take a drink and beat on my chest, nodding. I swallow and catch my breath. “Did you see that?” I manage to get out through a stinging throat. I can’t get my eyes to stop watering.
Dhevan looks around the crowd. “Did you see Kavin?” He shovels in another mouthful of food and looks over his shoulder.
“I think so.” I take another long drink, waiting for the choking to pass.
I catch another glimpse of red. Forgetting my food and friends, I jump up and take off through the crowds, scattering my food across the ground. I’m not letting him disappear again.
“Karis!” Journey shouts, “Where are you going?
“Just keep eating. I’ll be right back!” I dig deeper into
the crowd, chasing after my Pair.
७
“Excuse me, pardon me. Move, please.” I don't care who I’m pushing aside, and my efforts at being polite are slim at best. But I’m getting closer. The faster I go, the more I see of Kavin and his bright red shirt as he weaves in and out of Neech’s dull color palette.
It’s strange that he’s even wearing that color. I don’t know where he would’ve found it. And why is he trying to get
away from me? Maybe he doesn’t know I’m chasing him. That’s got to be it. He’s probably looking for me.
“Karis!” Ami grabs my wrist as I fly by, jerking me to a stop. “You need to hear the most interesting thing Devna’s just told me.” Ami pulls me in to take her place.
I stand on my toes, bobbing from side to side, trying not to lose sight of my target. He’s standing by the cooking pit with his hands on his hips. I still can’t see his face because of the hood, but I can make out a smile as he tips his head in my direction.
It’s almost as if he’s…baiting me.
It works. I tug at my wrist, breaking Ami's hold. “I'm sorry Ami, Devna. But I can't talk right now.” I look back up at Kavin. He claps his hands in mock approval and starts to lace his way through the crowd again.
“I don't understand what her problem is; she's never been this rude before…” Ami's voice floats after me.
I know I'll pay the price tomorrow at the factory, and probably the day after that as well, but I don’t care. I make it to the edge of the milling crowd and stand there, catching my breath, looking for where he's gone.
“Karis!” It’s Papa. I groan. Why does everyone need to talk to me right now?
Please, please, please, I chant over and over in my head, Just one more glimpse.
There it is! A red blur darts its way down the street before turning and disappearing down an ally, outside the realm of the Jatis celebration. What’s he doing?
“I can’t talk now, Papa. I'll find you later!” I take off at a sprint.
I break past the thin crust of the Jatis crowd, running through the emptiness of Neech. My speed slows as I approach the alley where I continue with more cautious steps. The music
The music and noise of the party has turned into static in the background, and the hair on my arms pricks in the silence.
“Kavin,” I hiss, a little uncertain. “It’s me. What are you doing?” Nothing. “Kavin!” I creep deeper into the darkness of the alley.
Except for the faint sound of the party behind me, there’s silence. Maybe he didn’t come down this way. I get a sudden pang of unease. Something’s not right. My heartbeat quickens, and I press my back up against the brick wall of the alley. I take a slow, deep breath and decide to head back to the Jatis. This isn’t fun anymore. With my back pressed against the rough wall, I slide towards the main street.
I shuffle only a couple of feet when a hand slaps down against the wall, right next to my head. I let out a small yelp and jump, digging my back into the bricks.
“Kavin!” I bite out the word, annoyed.
But it’s not Kavin standing in front of me. The hood has slipped, and I’m staring at a complete stranger. A cold heat makes my scalp tingle before rolling down my spine. I curse myself for thinking that this ever could’ve been my Pair.
The stranger’s standing directly in front of me, so close I can feel the heat from the chase rolling off his body. He’s a full head taller than me, so I have to tilt my head back to see his face. He seems to sense my discomfort and smiles, erasing even more of the space between us. His chest rises and falls against my frame with his breaths. His eyes are a sharp blue, even in the dark. They remind me of ice.
I hold his gaze while I try to think. If I can inch my way to the left just a little farther, I’d be in the clear and could make a run for it. I take a small breath, preparing to move, but as soon as I slide my foot along the ground, his other hand slaps down against the wall, caging me where I stand.
Stupid, Karis. Stupid!
His breath brushes my face in soft bursts as he breathes. I’m instantly aware of our surroundings and the fact that we’re completely alone and so far away from the Jatis. This is the worst possible situation I could have gotten myself into.
My mouth fills with cotton as I wait for him to say something, but all he does is stare at me with a stupid smirk on his face. My fear fades to a strong sense of nervousness. If he was going to hurt me, he’d have done it by now. It’s obvious this is nothing more than a game to him. But it’s also obvious he wants something from me.
I ball my fists and jam them stiffly at my sides, still trying to think of a way out of the situation. I could yell for help, but it would probably just make him angry and I doubt anyone would hear. I try to memorize everything I can about him so when I escape, and turn him into the Military Guards, I can give an accurate and detailed description of my perpetrator.
“What do you want?” I say. I run my eyes over his face. From the small scar above his left eye to his uneven haircut. From the fact that he hasn't shaved in what looks like days—I could probably grate cheese on that jaw, if I had any—to the fact that he wears a rare color like red.
I even memorize his scent—fresh soap and bread—and the fact that he’s wearing impeccably clean and well-tailored clothes made to look dirty and worn. I scowl as my eyes run down the length of his arms—his shirtsleeves are rolled up,exposing muscled forearms—and watch them twitch with adrenaline beneath his skin.
I curse under my breath and clench my jaw. Except for maybe the scar, none of these things will help the Military Guard identify or catch him.
I’ve been so busy studying this stranger that I haven’t felt his gaze raking over me, but when I look back at his face, his stare is…elsewhere. I clear my throat to bring his eyes back up to mine. Begrudgingly almost, he pulls them away, taking his time.
“Well this is fun,” he says in a low voice. “I've never had a girl chase me before. And a pretty one, too.” His hand comes up to sweep away a strand of hair that’s fallen in front of my eyes. He tucks it softly behind my ear as my back goes rigid.
“Why are you scared? I’m not going to hurt you.” His eyes turn down at the corners, and for a second, I th
ink he’s hurt. Then it’s gone, replaced by a grin.
I try to relax, but it isn’t by much. I’m still uncomfortable with my situation.
“So, why were you chasing me?”
“I was not chasing you,” I say.
He raises a blonde brow and gives a half smile, calling my bluff.
“Not in the way you're suggesting.” I cross my arms in the tight space between us, trying my best not to brush up against him. It proves nearly impossible.
“So you admit to chasing me, then. Why were you after me? Do you find me handsome? It’s okay, most women do.”
“Please,” I scoff. “I don’t even know you.”
“So?” he sounds amused and moves his body closer, his chest pushing against my bare arms.
I press myself deeper into the wall, which is difficult since I can’t go any farther. “You’re obviously not from Neech—”
“How do you know that?” he interrupts. “You can’t possibly know every person in the Outer City.”
He’s right, of course, but he doesn’t have to know that. I get the feeling he’s used to being right. I keep talking. “—which means you’re trouble.”
“So you came looking for trouble?” The thought seems to entertain him. My cheeks catch fire. I hope the shadows hide it. “You sound like my kind of girl—”
“Karis?” a sharp crack of a voice stops his words.
His head snaps over his shoulder and he recedes into the shadows so smoothly that I don’t register he’s gone until the night air chills my body. I turn and look, but there’s no sign of him.
Eta steps into the alley. “Karis, who were you talking to?”
I hurry to the street, the adrenaline gone from my bloodstream; I’m trying to keep my legs strong and my body upright. “Kavin,” I blurt out as I hurry past. “He had to go home. I need to get back to the Jatis.”
I see just enough of her eyes to know she knows I’m lying.
F ive
I hurry back through the crowds to the heart of the Jatis, looking over my shoulder every few strides, searching for that glimpse of red, half expecting him to be following me. The density of the people thickens; soon I can’t walk two feet without bumping into someone. This is good. I offer distracted smiles and hellos to those who acknowledge me.
I’m between the music stage and one of the bonfires when I hear a small voice say, “Tell us a story, Ami. Tell us of Before.” A chorus of small cheers follows the request.
A patch of Candidates grows at Ami’s feet like clover. I recognize the look in her eyes as she thinks of the way she’ll weave her tale about the way things used to be. I remember sitting at her feet for hours at a time when I was their age, listening to how life was before the Corporation took over. Just the distraction I need now.
I find Ajna and Kerick among the cluster of wide-eyed children, and I take a seat next to my little brother, determined to forget about my exchange with the stranger.
With a wry smile, Ami begins her tale. “We used to be free, unguarded by tall gates. No Corporation to overshadow us. Back then, there were no Marks. Each person chose what they wanted to do, where they wanted to live, and who they loved.”
“You mean,” a little redheaded girl asks, “if I wanted to be Paired with Kerick when I got old enough, I could?”
Kerick makes a dissatisfied sound in the back of his throat while Ami smiles. “If he wanted to be Paired with you, too, then yes, you could.” There was a chorus of impressed awes. This is one of my favorite stories Ami tells; the one about marriage. I pull my knees into my chest and settle in to listen one more time about courtship and engagements and about being swept away in a tide of love at first sight.
Ajna snuggles into my side, and I put my arm around his slender shoulders, pulling him into my lap. His skin is warm to the touch, and his body’s laced with a thin layer of sweat. I move the inside of my wrist to his forehead to get a better gauge of his temperature. He wriggles closer.
“I'm cold,” he says in a hoarse whisper. He coughs into his arm.
Alarm bells ring inside my head as my heart fights to get out of my chest. My mind reels at a thousand different thoughts that pull me in different directions all at once.
Didn’t Eta say this new sickness started with a fever and sweats? I have to get Ajna home. If I can't get the fever to break, chances are strong it never will. I scoop him up and stand. He doesn't protest. That’s how I know how bad it is.
Ami’s words break apart as her eyes meet mine with worry. “Your papa’s over by the fire,” she says. I hurry to the bonfire and find Papa talking with Déjà.
“Karis,” Papa laughs as I approach. “Are you having a good—” His face falls, and his eyes fill with alarm when he sees Ajna in my arms. “What is it?” Papa and Déjà hurry to my side, Papa taking my brother’s suddenly tiny frame from my arms.
“Ajna. He has a…a fever,” I can barely make the last word audible.
“Déjà,” Papa says in a low voice, “Find Eta.” Papa hurries through the crowd, and I follow in a surreal daze. We’ve done everything—been so careful to keep any of us from getting sick. How could this be happening to us?
No sooner have we stepped over the threshold of our door, than Eta follows suit. “Put him over there,” she says in a commanding voice, pointing to spot on the floor of the living room.
In the short hour since I last saw my brother, he no longer looks like the vibrant young boy that loves and irritates me. Papa shoves the rocking chair and my baskets of clothing out of the way. The action sets the chair in motion, and it hits the wall with a thunk every time it rocks back. In seconds, he’s cleared a small area on the floor. I want to tell him that it’s not big enough, but I can’t find my voice.
“Karis!” Eta snaps.
My attention jerks back to the current situation. “What do you need?” I say with a dry throat. Papa’s busy doing something, but my mind’s not sharp enough to register what.
Eta nods, seemingly satisfied I’m back in the present. “Get your brother a blanket and pillow. I need to keep him here by what’s left of the coals.”
“But he’s so hot.”
“You think you know better than me, child?” she says sharply. I see the stress of the situation etching lines around her eyes and mouth.
I shake my head. “No, it’s just…”
“I know,” she says in a softer voice.
“Where’s the rest of your wood? I need to build the fire up.”
“We used the last of it this morning.”
“I’ll have Déjà bring the wood from my house since I’ll be probably be staying here for a while. Do you have yarrow?”
I nod numbly, unable to take my eyes of my brother's already paling face.
“Good,” Eta says, checking Ajna's temperature. She clucks her disapproval. “I’m going to need all you have. Jeret, fetch me a bowl of cool water and some rags. It's going to be a long night. What are you two doing still standing around?”
Like a glass shattering against the floor, Papa and I break off into different directions to carry out Eta’s orders. I race up the stairs to get what she needs, returning a few moments later with a blanket and pillow under one arm and a cloth bag filled with yarrow in the other. I hope it’ll be enough. It’s all we have.
Papa’s already brought her the water and rags and she’s put the water over the fire to boil. I watch silently as Eta starts to make a weak tea from what little yarrow we have.
“This is all?” she asks, worried.
I nod.
Ajna moans softly as Eta lifts his head, nursing the liquid into his mouth. He isn't even strong enough to stay awake. I wring my hands just to give myself something to do. If I stay still, I’ll go crazy; I’m sure of it.
“How could this have happened so fast?” I ask, pacing the small space. “He was fine before the Jatis.”
“I have my suspicions, but I won’t make a diagnosis until I know for sure.”
“Is it�
�is it the sickness you’ve been seeing so much of? The sickness that’s killing so many?”
She guides Ajna's head back to the pillow, wiping his brow with one of Papa’s rags. “Your brother needs to rest now.”
“Come on, Karis, we need to sleep,” Papa says, his hand on my shoulders.
“Sleep? Ajna’s sick and you want me to sleep?” I don't know who this man is right now. He certainly isn't my papa.
“Your father’s right, Karis,” Eta says, rising unsteadily to her feet. Papa reaches over to support her elbow. “I don't sleep much now, anyhow. I'll stay up with him. He'll be fine for tonight.”
I look from Papa to Eta. Both I trust beyond a doubt, but I’m having a hard time letting go. My eyes linger on my brother. I was wrong. The clearing Papa made is just the right size. He looks like a baby bird in a tiny nest.
“There's nothing you can do tonight, and if something should happen, you'd only be in the way,” Eta says.
“Our jobs at the factories don't stop just because Ajna’s sick,” Papa says. “If we're going to make it through the longer days, we need our rest. We can’t risk losing our jobs. Now, go to bed. I won't say it again.” His voice is loving but holds a firm edge. There’ll be no budging him.
I hang my head and rub at my temples. How can this be happening to us? “You promise you’ll wake me if anything changes?” I look Eta in the eyes.
“You have my word.” The rocking chair creaks as she lowers herself down. Papa tucks a blanket around her shoulders.
I stoop over to kiss my brother on the forehead. She stops me, inches from his skin. “Best not for now,” she says.
I bite the inside of my cheek to stop the tears. I nod again and go up to my room, shutting the door. I can hear a muffled conversation between Papa and Eta, but I can’t make out the words.
Someone pounds on something with force followed by a string of curses. Then I hear the familiar music of the Corporation’s anthem. I look at my face in the mirror as the muffled voice of the pre-recorded announcement floats up the stairs. My eyes are already puffy and rimmed in bright red, and my face has lost most of its color. I take my brush and start to run it through my hair.