by RaeLynn Fry
“Thread that needle for me,” Ella says.
I pick up the curved needle and the stiff black thread, handing it to her when I’ve finished.
“This is going to hurt,” she tells Ethan. “I used the last of my numbing liquid when you went on your last little escapade.”
I wonder how regular these occurrences are.
“I didn't need any when Karis did it. I don't need any now,” Ethan says, grabbing a fistful of sheets.
“All right then.” She poises over the wound, as if determining the best place to start.
“Excuse me,” I say as I turn away. “I think I'll wait out in the hall for this one.” I scurry out of the room and shut the door behind me with a click. I lean back against its solid surface. Once was bad enough. I don't think I could do it again.
७
Twenty minutes later, Ella emerges from Ethan's room, shutting the door with a click. She dries her hands on a towel and sets it on a small table in the hallway. She wears a soft smile. “How are you feeling?” she asks me with a Medic's scrutiny. “Ethan says you hit your head.”
“Yeah—it’s fine now. A little sore but compared to that,” I nod to the closed door, “I’m fine.” Ella nods. “How's Ethan doing?” I ask.
She waves me away. “He’ll be fine. It actually isn't as bad as I first thought. He's tough and will be back at whatever it is he does in no time at all. He mentioned you needed some medicine?”
Ethan trusts Ella, I remind myself. If I don’t have someone to trust here, my mission will be next to impossible. I nod. “Morrow,” I say with confidence.
“Why come to me for it?” She appraises me with a raised brow.
“Long story,” I say.
She nods again. “It's going to take me some time,” she finally says. “Morrow in its finished form is strictly regulated by the Corporation. It’ll be safer to get the raw ingredients and make it myself.”
I fidget with my fingers. “How long will that take?”
“A week or so, hopefully less. Anyone who needs Morrow doesn't have much time to begin with.”
My heart jumps into my throat, and my eyes prick with tears. It’s my turn to nod. It's the only thing I can manage. I planned on making this an in and out trip. I don’t have the resources to make it anything but.
“Where are you staying?”
I shrug. “I hadn’t really gotten that far yet. I didn’t know—”
“You’ll stay with me, then. It will be nice to have some female company.”
“Oh, I couldn’t do that.”
“Nonsense. Hospitality is in my nature.”
An invisible burden I didn’t know I’d been carrying lifts from my shoulders. Ella turns and walks down the hallway towards the back of the house.
“I'll show you your room,” Ella says.
I follow my host as we ascend the set of stairs to our right. At the top is a small landing with a bathroom and two doors. We go through the door directly in front of us.
The room is easily four or five times what I’m used to, with two large windows on one wall, draped with thin white coverings. A bed, identical to the one downstairs in size and grandeur, is pressed against the wall. Four posters rise up from each corner in a dark wood. The blanket and pillows are a crisp white, and the walls are painted a dusty purple.
“You and I are about the same size,” Ella says. “Most of my old clothes are in that closet over there; help yourself to whatever fits. We passed the bathroom on the way up. There are fresh towels and soap on the sink. Plenty of hot water. Feel free to take a bath anytime you'd like.”
Hot water. A bath. These seemingly small things to Ella are extreme luxuries to me. I can't remember the last time I felt hot water besides for tea and oats, let alone relaxation.
As tempting of a thought as it is to wash, my body’s heavy with a weariness I don’t understand, and my mind is thick. “I think I'd actually like to lie down for a bit,” I say. “This morning’s worn me out.”
Ella searches my face. “It’d probably be best, with the day you and Ethan have had. Dinner’s at six.”
“Thank you. For everything.”
Her smile is small but genuine. “Rest well,” she says and leaves the room.
I go to the closet and find folded cotton pants and shirts—the closest thing I could find that offered some level of familiarity and comfort. I change from my dress, hang it on the back of the closet door, and put on the clean clothes. I stare at my reflection in a hanging mirror. I’m paler than usual, and it looks like my eyes are rimmed in pink with soft blue shadows. It does look like I need rest. A lot of it.
I turn to the bed, slightly intimidated. This one is four times the size of what I have back home. I press my hand onto its surface and push. It sinks until I pull it back, an indented handprint in its place. Down. I've heard stories from Ami about people sleeping on feathered mattresses.
I sit on the edge of the bed, motionless, until my body stops sinking towards its center. When I've settled, I pull my legs up and recline back onto the pillows. I imagine this is what sleeping on a cloud is like. My last thought as I close my eyes is that I hope Papa isn’t too worried when he finds me gone. Unable to keep my eyes open any longer, I fall into a fast, deep sleep.
I don’t dream of anything I can hold onto, and when I wake, the sun is no longer shining through the window. All I see is a dusty blue in the sky. I slink out of bed and cross the landing, pattering down the stairs in my bare feet. When I reach the hall, I turn right, following the sound of Ella and Ethan’s voices.
“Where did you find her?” Ella asks.
“She found me,” Ethan says.
“You'd better stop with all these girls. You're Paired.”
“Agh. Please stop bringing that up.” He's serious, but at the same time, I can hear the smile on his face.
“Ethan—”
“Ella, please, you’re sounding just like him.”
“Sometimes that man has sense.”
“That man never has sense. What about the Morrow? Are you able to get it?”
A sigh. “Yes, but it’s not going to be easy. With all the cases breaking out in Dahn, the Corporation’s keeping much of the key ingredients close. They’re suspicious of anyone asking for them.”
“But you regularly need the ingredients for the work you do for the Corp.”
“The Corporation is a suspicious beast by nature; it won’t be much longer before they stop trusting me as much as they do. It may already have happened.” There’s a pause. “Ethan?”
“Yeah?”
“Tell me the truth about Karis.”
Their conversation lulls. I creep closer to the doorway, pressing my body against the wall.
“I already told you everything.”
“Where did she come from? Her Mark—”
“Don’t worry about it, Ella.”
“Ethan—”
I step into the kitchen and their conversation stops.
“There she is,” Ethan says with a too bright smile. “Just in time for something to eat.”
“What time is it?” I ask.
“Half past six,” Ella says.
I can't believe I've slept so late. And the strange thing is, I'm still tired. “I'm not very hungry,” I say, realizing I haven't eaten all day. “I think the knot on my head’s made my stomach a little queasy.”
“You should probably try to eat something,” Ella says.
“Maybe later. I just wanted to come down and say thank you and to see how Ethan’s doing.” I turn to him.
“I'm doing great; thanks for asking. Ella gave me some of her magic salve so I should be as good as new in no time flat. Besides, it’s more of a flesh wound than anything.” Ethan shrugs, and Ella tries to hide a smile as she goes to the sink for some water. She comes back with a glass and hands it to me.
“Thank you,” I say. “You look better Ethan. The color's already coming back to your face. And you're not crying anymore.”
“Crying? I was never crying.”
“I believe I did see a few tears slip out today,” Ella says.
“If water slipped from these eyes, it was only because two of the loveliest women I know had to see me in such a state and bear witness the raw pain I endured while being brutally patched up by a dull needle.”
I roll my eyes but smile. “If that's the story you want to stick with…”
“It is.” He stands up and gives a small bow, wincing as he comes back up.
“You'd better be careful, Ethan. I don't want to have to redo those stitches because you've ripped them,” Ella says.
“Would never happen,” he says.
“Where are you off to?” I ask, a little disappointed. He never said anything about leaving.
“I don’t live here, Karis. Besides, I have business to attend to.”
“Ethan,” Ella's voice has a hint of warning to it.
“Must we do this song and dance every time?” Ethan says.
Every time?
“We must.” She sounds like my father in those two words.
Ella stares at him, and I watch something pass between them. An unspoken conversation with such ease and familiarity, I'm sure they've had them countless times before. For the first time, I find myself wondering how Ethan knows Ella.
“But you’re injured. Ella only just tended to your wounds.”
“And already I feel like a new man.” His smile is easy. “Good night, Karis. I’m so glad we met again and under much more desirable circumstances.” He kisses the back of my hand and walks out of the kitchen with quick steps and an even stride.
Day five
Fifteen
Sunlight spills in through the bedroom window, coating everything in a soft glow, including me. It feels good to have slept in; I didn't know how much my body needed it. I sit up and stretch wide, feeling all my muscles, even my ribs, spread and sigh in contentment.
I skim through Ella’s old clothes and slip on dark pants made from a stiff fabric and a pale green shirt and head downstairs. I’m in a better mood, and I think it has to do with the excitement of Ella agreeing to help me. All Ajna needs to do now is hang on.
The aroma of breakfast meets me as I near the bottom of the stairs. I smell so many different things it's hard to sort them out. But one thing I know for sure, oats are not on the menu.
Even though it smells delicious, it isn’t drawing even a rumble from my stomach. I'm surprised to find my appetite isn't that great. I should be starving, but I don’t even feel a shallow pang of hunger.
Ella sits at the table, in the exact spot she was last night, and I wonder if she’s moved at all. A steaming mug sits in front of her as she studies papers scattered across the table’s surface. I scan the small room, a little disappointed Ethan isn’t here. I scold myself. He's held up his end of the bargain and brought me to Ella. There was never a promise of anything more.
“Good morning,” Ella says, her white smile shining bright against her dark skin.
“Morning,” I say.
She gestures for me to take the seat across from her. A large bowl of orange-pink fruit, each the size of two fists, sits in the middle of the table. She plucks one from the bowl and slices it in half with a large knife. An explosion of sweetness finds its way to me followed by a sharp tang.
She sprinkles some sugar across its pink, meaty center. She hands me the plate with a spoon. “You look like you've never seen one before.”
I shake my head. “It's not that,” I say, accepting the plate and setting it down in front of me. “It's just been so long since I've had a grapefruit.” There’s only one tree in all of Neech, and it grows is a special glass house so we can get as much fruit from it as possible throughout the year.
She leans in, her voice hushed. “You have to know the right people at the market to get one. They're rare, and if word got around they’re available, I'd lose my supply.” She leans back in her chair with a smile and watches me take a bite. “Hungrier than last night, I hope?”
I nod my head, lying.
Ella gets up and walks to the stove. “Eggs and toast sound all right?” she says over her shoulder, dishing up what would be dinner for an entire family onto my plate.
“Sounds great,” I say. I poke my grapefruit with the spoon. “Is Ethan stopping by this morning?”
She gives me a sly, knowing look. “He usually doesn't announce when he's stopping by. Why do you ask?” She sets the plate down, and the smell of eggs and butter makes my stomach churn.
“I wanted to thank him again for helping me. He’s gone out of his way, and I know he doesn’t have to,” I say staring down at my grapefruit. I cut a wedge with my spoon as my cheeks turn red.
“He likes helping people.” Ella takes her seat, slipping the papers she'd been reading into an envelope. “So this medicine Ethan says you need, who’s it for” Ella asks. I hesitate in answering her. “You can trust me,” she says.
Ethan trusts her, but I don’t know Ethan any better than I do Ella, so that could mean next to nothing. But she needs to know everything possible since she’s willing to risk everything to help a complete stranger.
“My brother’s sick,” I finally say. “Morrow’s the only thing left that might help him.” A deep, aching sadness enters my body.
“What are his symptoms?” she asks.
I close my eyes and picture the last time I saw my brother, lying in front of the fire. “Fever, no appetite, sweats constantly. Sleeping all the time. His body wastes away each day, and he has an awful rash with sores.”
Ella nods her head. “I've seen a few cases of that lately. The Corporation is trying to keep it under wraps.” Her face turns both hard and sympathetic. “Karis, I need to be honest with you. I've seen Morrow used before, and it works—”
My heart leaps into my throat.
“—for some,” she finishes. “For others, it does nothing but ease the pain of their suffering until this disease consumes them.”
I try to stay strong. “What's the difference between the two outcomes?”
“Time,” she says. “And the strength of the individual. I’m sure those aren’t the only factors, but without being able to study the patients, we can only guess.”
“What do you mean?”
“Those who succumb to this sickness are taken away before any Medic can examine them fully.”
“Taken away?” I ask. “By who?”
“The Corporation.”
“But why?”
“The Corporation says it’s so their Medics can examine them on a closer level. We haven’t been able to study them the way we’d like, but we have been able to gather some information.”
“Like what?”
“The sickness doesn’t seem to discriminate between age or gender, but in the beginning, no one citizen had the same symptoms. It’s like the disease was experimenting to find out what worked best on the host.”
“If the symptoms weren’t the same, and the Corporation didn’t let you study the bodies, then how did you know it was the same disease?”
“In talking with the families, we discovered the pigment in all the patients’ eyes turned white before they died. It’s a small discovery, but it is the only thing we have.”
“White?”
Ella nods and goes on. “Younger citizens tend to last longer without the medicine and pull through easier when they finally get it. But that's not always the case.”
“What about the ones who survived?”
“The Corporation has them.”
“Has them? What do you mean?”
“I mean, the Corporation came and took them and haven’t returned them to their families. They said they’re studying them for a cure and a cause.”
“But you don’t believe that?”
She hesitates. “I’ve been looking at some reports, and I don’t think they’re being entirely honest with us.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
�
��Because you need to know the truth in its entirety.”
“But you don’t know if you can trust me or not.”
“Ethan trusts you. That’s all I need.” She takes a sip from her mug. “How old is your brother?”
“His Jatis is next month,” I say.
Her eyes narrow slightly as she studies me. “I haven't heard of any Candidates contracting the disease recently.”
“I, uh—he’s not officially a Candidate yet, so you might not have heard about it—”
The back door flings open and bounces off the inside wall, interrupting our conversation. I let out a sigh of relief. Ethan strolls around the corner, a canvas bag slung over his back.
“Morning, all!” he says. “Breakfast smells great, Ella.” He dumps the bag on the floor against the wall. I watch as he piles a plate with a mountain of eggs and balances four slices of toast on top. “Grapefruit, my favorite,” he says as he takes a seat, reaching for the other half of mine. Ethan looks from Ella to me. “What?” he asks with a shrug. “So I like to eat; I'm a growing boy.”
He shovels a spoonful of food into his mouth as I nibble on a small wedge of tart pink fruit. Ella sips from her mug. We’re silent as we watch Ethan inhale his food. It's an amazing experience. It's been only a few minutes, and already more than half of his plate has disappeared.
“I didn't know you were coming over this morning,” Ella says. I may just be paranoid, but I think she looks at me over the rim of her mug.
“Well, you know, I couldn't leave Karis with a stranger. What kind of gentleman would that make me?”
"Gentleman?" Ella says with a raised brow.
Ethan rolls his eyes.
“How was your thing last night?” I ask.
“Huh?” Ethan says around a piece of toast. Then recognition clicks. “Oh! Better than I expected. Can't talk about it, of course, top secret and all. But it went well.” He piles the last of his eggs on what remains of his toast and shovels it into his mouth and reaches for Ella's drink. Tilting his head back, he finishes it off. Ella looks as if she's used to his behavior.