by RaeLynn Fry
“I want you to see why you need to tell Ethan about what's happening to you.”
“No,” I say firmly, not bothering to hide the stream of tears coursing down my face. “This is not about him. It's about Ajna. I'm going to do whatever it takes to make my brother better, and if sacrificing myself is the price, then so be it. Besides,” I say, “if Ethan knows, he'll just try to do something to make me better, and I can't waste that time. Or get his hopes up.” I stare hard at Ella, to make sure she understands my decision.
“Because you care for him, too,” she says at last.
I give a tight nod. “I don't want to see him suffer, and if I give him the truth, that's what it will do to him. I don’t want that to be his last memory of me. Please, Ella. Promise me you'll help. Promise me you won't tell Ethan what's happening.” I don’t want his last memory of me to be the one I have of Kavin.
She waits in silence, and for a second I think she won't keep my secret. Finally, she gives in. “Alright, Karis. I’ll keep your secret, but I want you to realize the price I'm paying to keep this from him.”
“I understand,” I say. “Thank you.”
She leaves me alone in my room without another word.
Day seven
Twenty-one
I’ve never been so tired in my life, but my body refuses to fall asleep. It’s like my brain won’t shut off, and with all the champagne from earlier, it feels like someone’s beating on the inside of my skull. Finally, at about a half hour before sunrise, I creep downstairs to have some tea, ending the torture the night has been.
I’m sitting at the table sipping a steaming mug, when a sharp rap comes at the backdoor. For a minute, my mind flashes back to Neech and the newsletters, but of course that isn’t what this knock means. I know it’s not Ethan; he never knocks. My heart stumbles. Could it be Akin? Then I remember D’mitri’s promised delivery.
I open the back door. A small brown envelope resting up against the pot of flowers is the only thing there. Good to his word. If it weren’t for the small bulge in the corner of the envelope, I’d think it was empty when I pick it up. I bring it inside, setting it on the table, staring at its small size. This minute amount of power has the power to help cure my brother. Soon, he’ll be better. And I’ll be worse. One step closer to death in exchange for one step closer to life.
I open the back door. A small brown envelope resting
up against the pot of flowers is the only thing there. Good to his word. If it weren’t for the small bulge in the corner of the envelope, I’d think it was empty when I pick it up.
I bring it inside, setting it on the table, staring at its small size. This minute amount of power has the power to help cure my brother. Soon, he’ll be better. And I’ll be worse. One step closer to death in exchange for another step closer to life. I shake off the thought. It’s a price I’d willingly pay again. Ajna has his whole life ahead of him, mine was over before I stepped
foot in the Artist’s filthy kitchen.
Suddenly the house is too small. I grab one of Ella’s sweaters off a hook by the door and wrap it around my shrinking body, stepping outside, closing the door behind me. Walking around while it’s dark—while the city still sleeps, with the morning air crisp and new—is familiar and comforting. It makes me feel not so far from home. I hug my body and start to walk.
The sun is barely rising above the horizon, watering down the colors of the city, and everything is breathtakingly silent. Papa and Journey would already be at work. The thought of them gives me a quick, intense tightening in my chest. I didn’t think missing them would be as painful as it is. I know they’re worried sick, and I hate being the cause.
I try not to think too much as I walk, but the questions I’ve gathered from my days in Dahn will no longer stay at bay. They quickly overwhelm me, haphazardly crashing into one another.
How’s Papa handling everything alone? Will I get the medicine in time? Is Kavin still alive out in the Further? Will I have enough time to tell my family everything I’ve learned before I die? Will my death be painful? What if I can’t get back home? What if my plan, the medicine, doesn’t work?
Then thoughts I never thought could be my own—Could there have been a future for Ethan and I in some other life? Will I ever see him again in this one?
A pang of sadness shoots through my heart. Why do I care?
I shake my head and take a few deep breaths of the cool air to settle my churning stomach and clear my cluttered head. I’m out of the cluster of buildings and stalls that the market and apartments create, and before I know it, I’m walking alongside a pristine, white fence bordering a bright pasture. The horses I’ve hated for so long graze out in the open. I look around. I’m the only one in sight.
The field is bordered on the far end by a row of tall, leafy trees, only now starting to slip into the bright yellows and oranges of fall. At the north end of the pasture is a barn, the windows still dark. A bitter thought creeps into my head. Even the servants sleep later than us.
I lean against the fence rails, watching the horses graze. I don’t know why I’m here. The last thing I want to look at are two useless, dumb beasts eating their fill of soft green grass while everyone I care about whimpers and begs for a scrap of spoiled bread and a drop of dirty water.
But still, they are beautiful, with their long necks and sleek white coats. I let out a heavy sigh. Why does everything have to be the way it is? Why can’t things be different?
The change from summer to fall is coming fast. My breath floats in front of me in small clouds of steam. The morning is crisp, and the only noise is the tearing of grass as the horses continuously fill their mouths.
The fence post creaks as I shift my weight against the wood. I watch the ears twitch on the animal closest to me, a few yards off. He lifts its head only slightly and gazes at me with dark eyes. He must decide I’m interesting enough because he starts making his way over to me, head and neck dipping in rhythm with each step. I push away from the rails. They don’t look dangerous, but I can’t be certain. After all, they do belong to the Corporation.
The horse comes up to the fence, pressing his chest against the wood, making the joints groan. He stretches his neck towards me, shoving his nose into my chest. I keep my body rigid. I don’t want to scare him, and I’m not sure what to do. His head is twice the size of my chest, and he sniffs me with labored exhales, showering my sweater with moist, hot air.
The whiskers on his muzzle tickle my face as he keeps exploring. I reach out a cautious hand and stroke the side of his neck with light fingers.
I’m surprised to find I like the smell of him—dust and hay and the outside. Dirty, sort of like how Neech smells. He’s warm and silky to the touch—probably brushed every day—and his wire mane is straight and untangled. I run my fingers through the silver and white strands. He raises his head and looks me in the eye; I can see my reflection in the pool of black.
“You’re a pretty boy,” I say in a low voice, running my hand back down his neck. He nods his head up and down, and I smile as he starts to nicker.
“They say that if a horse’s mane falls to the left, like Axiom’s here, they’re going to be nothing but trouble. If only it were that easy to tell with people.”
My hand freezes, and I look out the corner of my eye. Standing with his hands behind his back is Akin Hughes, wearing his three-piece suit. He doesn’t look at me, only stares off into the pasture.
My heart hammers inside my chest, and I swear it’s going to burst. My hands are shaking with the sudden rush of adrenaline my body has released. I swallow, ignoring my brain’s cry for me to run, far and fast from the man standing next to me. My feet are planted in the earth. I look back to Axiom and start to pet his shoulder, anything to keep my shaking hands busy.
There’s no way he’ll recognize me from last night. I was wearing a mask.
“I’ve had Axiom and Maxim since they were both colts. I’ve raised them and trained them to perform and act the way I want
them to and bred them to perfection. Every once in a while, though, they misbehave and need to be corrected. But that’s how it is with all beasts. Even humans.”
“I shouldn’t be here.” I turn to leave, but Akin’s hand clamps down on top of mine like a stake, pinning me where I stand.
“Nonsense. It pleases me to have people admire my possessions. Stay. Let’s talk.”
I close my eyes for a second and take a calming breath, chanting in my mind, one, two, three, four, five. He doesn’t know who I am. He can’t possibly know what I’m here for. He doesn’t know I’m from Neech.
When I open my eyes again, I straighten my shoulders. “I’d be honored,” I say.
“What brings you to my pastures? Most citizens don’t know this hour of the day exists.” He takes his hand from mine and reaches out to stroke Axiom’s velvet muzzle with the tips of his fingers, careful not to get dirty. The horse wiggles his muscled lip, playing with Akin’s fingers.
“I was out for a walk.”
“While it was still dark?” His stare is like a cold touch. I can feel it caress my cheek and neck. It makes my stomach toss.
“I find it best to think early in the morning. When I can be alone. Besides, this isn’t Neech; the dark isn’t dangerous.”
“I hope I’m not imposing on any interesting thinking.”
“No.” I see him from the corner of my eye, watching me, a strange look on his face.
“You won’t look at me. I must say I’m a bit disappointed. You were so friendly and talkative at the party last night. Perhaps if I were to give you a mask you’d be more comfortable?”
I drop my shoulders and take a deep breath. How could I think—even for a second—that he wouldn’t recognize me? I turn and face him. “I didn’t think you’d remember me, and I didn’t want to make a fool of myself.”
“Nothing could make me forget those full lips and delicate chin. You are even more beautiful without the mask. A little plain, but it’s your eyes that are so captivating. They’re not just one color.” He leans in closer, and I have to fight the urge to step back.
My heart freezes before it picks up again, pounding in my ears. “I really should be going.” I turn to leave. Coming here was a terrible idea. I’ve jeopardized everything.
“But we’ve only just started talking, and I’m afraid it might be a while before we see each other again. I want to take careful advantage of my time with you.”
My skin crawls. “I’m afraid I have other obligations this morning.” I start to walk away.
“Karis,” he says in a sharp voice.
My heart plummets to the pit of my stomach. The ground falls away beneath my feet. The earth’s lost all its color.
He knows my name.
“Yes, Karis, I know who you are. And your father and brother—Jeret and Ajna—I know everything about you. Your best friend Journey’s Pairing Ceremony is in a few of weeks. Your Brother’s Jatis is next month. Do you think he would have been a lumberjack like your father? And your Pair. Poor, poor Kavin is dead out in the Further, along with his entire family.”
Fear’s fingers are icy and sharp as their grip constricts my heart. How long has he known? How did he find out? Is my family safe?
“This is a lot of attention to be spending on a Kengaal,” I say. A steady thump in my ears coincides with my heartbeat, and my face fills with pressure as blood races to my cheeks. I close my hands into fists and open them at my sides. I repeat the motion over and over again.
“I told you before—you’re dangerous, but a necessary evil. How’s your little brother feeling? I know Eta’s Petition was denied. So sad.” His voice is level and without emotion.
“You’re the one who denied it,” I growl. “You’re the one who issued the Analysis saying he wasn’t worth saving.”
“That’s true, but it doesn’t mean it was easy for me. It’s my job to make sure every decision is for the greater good. For our survival and advancement. My job is very taxing and difficult, Karis. I can’t afford to have personal feelings about the decisions I make. I wish you’d understand that.”
“I’m sure your job is hard, but somehow I think your feelings about my situation aren’t in line with sadness.” I take in his sinister smile and risk a question I need to know the answer to. “How do you know about me?”
“Karis, darling, it’s my job to know what goes on in my cities. Who do you think brought you here in the first place? Made that Black Market tattoo so easy for you to get? Set the events into motion that would bring you here to me? I think you’re forgetting how powerful the Corporation is.”
He takes a step forward, and I instinctively step back. My heartbeat speeds up, something I didn’t think possible. Axiom, bored with us, leaves to graze with Maxim. I’m completely isolated with the vilest man in existence.
“Leave Ajna alone.” My entire body shakes. I keep my hands balled into fists at my side. If I don’t, I’m afraid I’ll hit Akin in his pearly white smile and break his porcelain face, and that would guarantee the death of everyone I care about.
“My apologies, but I can’t. From what I understand, you came here to get Morrow. Ella’s almost finished, isn’t she?”
My breathing stops. I know where he’s going with this, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it.
“Now that she has the Solaria, there’s only one more ingredient standing between your brother and his life. What a happy ending that would be. And so you see, I can’t let it happen. You broke the rules and need to be made an example of. There are no happy endings in Neech.
“The Corporation’s decided your brother is to die; therefore, I can’t very well let Ella have access to that last, very precious ingredient, can I? Doing so would completely defeat what I’m trying to train you Kengaal’s to understand.”
“And what is that?” I bite out. Each of my senses is heightened, and my breathing is coming in short, quick breaths. Even though it’s chilly, I’ve begun to sweat.
“That some people aren’t worth enough to live. That the Corporation allows the people of Neech to exist so long as they’re useful.”
I can’t believe what I’m hearing. Rage boils my blood. “You can’t just kill a little boy!” I shout.
My emotion doesn’t disturb Akin’s sickening calm. “I’ve done it before; what makes your situation any different than the rest?”
“Because now I know the truth.”
“You think you know the truth. You know nothing. And if you did know anything, do you so sure I’d let you go back home? What makes you think you’d leave this pasture alive if that were the case?”
I clench my teeth. I’m not afraid of him anymore. “Because I’m going to stop you and I’m going to show everyone what the Corporation really is.”
“And even if citizens knew, do you think they’d have the courage or brains to do something about it? Do you think the citizens of Dahn would give up their creature comforts to do what’s right? You know nothing about our world or of people and their selfish natures. They’ll do whatever it takes to protect what they have. And you’re no different than the rest of them.”
“I think you don’t give us enough credit. But that’s to our advantage.” But he’s right. I’d do anything to save Ajna.
“Karis, the only reason you’re still breathing right now, instead of being disposed of the instant you stepped foot into Dahn, is because you’re useful to me.”
That takes me back. “I’d never help you.”
With a delighted smile he says, “You’re no longer in the position to think that way. You have no idea what you’ve gotten yourself into, little girl.”
“You’re delusional,” I say and turn to walk away.
“The Corporation has plans for your friend Ethan, as well. Plans you’re not a part of. Plans you put a kink in.”
My heart drops from my stomach to my feet, and I feel like I’m going to be sick.
“You, my dear, are a distraction to him. And if you think he cares f
or you, you’re mistaken. You are a conquest, nothing more.”
I glare at Akin with burning hate. When the opportunity comes, I will kill him myself. I make that promise with all my heart.
“You haven’t let him conquer you yet, have you? I know you’re from the Outer City, but still, I had higher expectations—though I admit, not much.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I spit out. “There’s nothing between us.”
“You think you can change him. Every woman thinks she’s the one who can change a man. But you’re wrong. You can’t change what the Corporation has bred him to be.”
I clench my jaw and try to hide how much his comments have unnerved me. “You’re nothing more than a murderous snake.”
“That may be true, but at the end of the day, I’m the one running the show. Not you. Not Ethan. Me.”
“So why don’t you just kill me, then?”
“Because, with Ethan’s energy into seducing you, he’s not interfering with the Corporation’s plans. And I must say, you do look pretty on his arm.” My blood curdles. Akin Hughes is a disgusting, pig of a man. “But it’s not all about him.”
“What do you mean?”
“A large part rests on your shoulders.”
I look at him with caution.
“I told you last night, I need you in my ranks. Here’s my proposal: You stay here, working for me—the Corporation—and I’ll make sure Ajna gets what he needs.”
I wasn’t expecting this in the slightest, but I don’t even hesitate. “And if I say no?”
“Your brother will die—a guilt that will always sit on your shoulders. Your father will have fallen victim to one of those frequent accidents that are always happens at the lumber mill. I will take everything away from you, Karis. Everyone you care about, anyone you even talked to; I will leave you with nothing.”
“How long would I work for you?” I have no choice even if I like to pretend I do.
“Forever,” he says with his plastic smile. “Your brother can die or you can accept my offer. Play nice and save his life. You’re choice, Karis.” He studies me for a minute as I process what he’s said. “You don’t have to give me an answer right now, but I don’t have to tell you that you don’t have much time to decide.”