by Sharon Green
“I don’t want to hear that you’ve changed your mind again,” I said, turning my back toward him as my insides really began to tremble. “You’renot the only one who has been dying a piece at a time, and I won’t put up with it any longer. We just have to stay together long enough to take care of the Five and get the empire out of the clutches of the nobility, and then we never have to see each other again. Our Blending is needed to win the war, not to rule.”
“Yes, I noticed that myself,” he murmured, and now he had moved a couple of steps closer. “And it’s also likely that we won’t be wanted to run the empire. There’s a big difference between addin’ a talent to a group that soothes and balances them, and addin’ one that lets them see into the future. A lot of people will be even more afraid of us now, so chances are we won’t want to stay either. But if you go off all by yourself, you’ll be as alone again as you used to be. Meerk left the house last night after the fight, and Jovvi believes he might not come back again.”
That was something I already knew, as I’d tried to find Alsin after the fight to see if he was all right. I hadn’t needed Jovvi to tell me how horribly humiliated the man felt after having lost to his greatest rival in the most basic way possible—and in front of so many people. He’d broken his promise about not letting himself be drawn into a fight, and he’d paid for it with the sort of defeat he couldn’t have been expecting. If he rejoined our forces at all, it would be among those who weren’t part of our immediate group.
“You’d better understand that if you ever took off all by yourself, I’d have to come lookin’ for you,” Vallant said, now no more than a step or two behind me. “I know nothin’ would be likely to harm you, but loneliness is somethin’ even the strongest talent in the world can’t fight and win against. I’m not tryin’ to deny that the trouble between us is mostly my fault, but part of it is yours as well. If we both agree to that, we won’t have to face a fight with an opponent we can’t best.”
“Better that than constantly wondering when your mind will change the next time,” I said without thinking, now simply speaking what I felt. “I know I have my problems and that it’s hard for others to put up with them, but that’s all part of who I am. I’ve finally realized that no matter how strong I get I’ll never be rid of some of those problems, so to picture me without them is to see someone other than me. And that’s who you’relooking for, Vallant, someone who won’t keep getting you upset. Since that someone isn’t me, I really would like you to leave.”
“The only reason I keep gettin’ ‘upset’ is because of how much you mean to me,” he replied heavily. “And because we all want to think of the person we love as bein’ perfect, you’reright about me seein’ someone other than the real you. I’ve been seein’ a woman who would understand and put up with my own problems, not another human bein’ who had troubles of her own. I can promise that that won’t happen again, because I’ve finally gotten over seein’ you as perfect.”
I could hear the tentative grin in his voice, a clear attempt to lighten the mood. I felt a pang of memory over the times we’d joked between ourselves, but those times were a long way behind us.
“Then you should understand more easily why I’m not prepared to change my mind the way you keep changing yours,” I said, refusing to join in the lightness. “Besides, mind-changing is supposed to be a woman’s prerogative, not a man’s, so you’ve been stepping over the line in more ways than one. And this is the last time I’m going to be polite about asking you to leave.”
“If you’renot the stubbornnest woman ever to have lived, I’d have to see another one to believe it,” he growled, obviously not very pleased with me. “And don’t you dare try claimin’ you haven’t been doin’ your own share of mind-changin’. Or wasn’t that you spendin’ all your time on the road workin’ to lure me back into your bed? It surely looked like you.”
“That was when I still thought you were someone worth having in my bed,” I retorted, finally turning to face him again despite the warmth I felt in my cheeks. “It took a while to realize I was wrong, but I’ve finally learned the lesson well enough not to forget it again. Now: are you leaving on your own, or do you need help getting started?”
“The only help I need is with livin’, and although only the Highest Aspect knows why, you are the one I need that help from.”
Those very light blue eyes stared down at me as he spoke, and the strong male beauty of his features brought me another pang. His long blond hair didn’t happen to be tied back today, and the faint mark left on his cheek from last night’s fight added to his handsomeness rather than detracted from it. But his appearance was only the way I recognized the man I’d learned to love because of what was inside him—and the man I’d also learned to hate because of that love.
“Don’t try to claim that I didn’t warn you,” I said, forcing myself to stay with the position I knew was best. If I let him get close again, I’d have only myself to blame when the pain returned.
So I reached out with my talent, intending to show him again that I wasn’t a woman he could bully and impose upon. A very thin curtain of fire would drive him back a few steps, and if he still refused to leave I was prepared to redden his skin a bit. Not enough to incapacitate him for the coming fight with our enemies, but enough to get him to leave me alone. The curtain flared into being between us—and promptly hissed and sputtered into nothingness.
“I love you, Tamrissa, and I won’t give up because I know that you love me as well,” he said softly as my eyes widened with shock, his arms reaching out and gently pulling me close to him. “I won’t let you drive me away again, no matter what you do.”
Panic touched me as his lips lowered toward mine, so I tried to apply my flames to those lips. It would have done the job of driving him back, but this time I could feel the water quenching my fire. And then he was in the midst of kissing me, something I’d been dreaming about ever since we’d parted. I loved him so much and wanted him so badly… How could anyone human have continued to hold back…?
The kiss lasted an incredibly long time, and for all that time I held to him with every ounce of strength in my body. I never wanted to let him go again, feeling the same thing coming from him in the way his arms crushed me to his chest. We were two halves making a whole again, and when the kiss began to end I was more than ready to go on to other things.
“I have to compliment you on your strategy and tactics,” I whispered breathlessly when our lips finally parted. “Starting our discussion here, where there’s a bed handy… The confidence you had in yourself was justified.”
“It wasn’t confidence, it was stupidity,” he answered with a groan, still holding me tight. “The men leadin’ our other groups began to get here early this mornin’, and they’renow waitin’ for me to join the discussion of how we’ll be approachin’ the palace. They were takin’ a few minutes to have tea and a snack before we got started, but I saw you in the dinin’ room and knew you were almost through eatin’. Decidin’ to wait for you here in your room happened without my thinkin’, and now I’m payin’ for bein’ an idiot.”
“You deserve it, for making me pay right along with you,” I grumbled, pushing back away from him. “You’rethe most exasperating man I know and I really do hate you, and if you aren’t back here the instant that meeting is over I swear I’ll roast you alive in your own juices.”
“You’realready doin’ that,” he returned with a wry grin, then bent to touch my lips with his. “And if this isn’t the shortest strategy session the world has ever seen, it certainly won’t be my fault. Make sure you don’t wander off.”
I made a noise to show how likely that was, then watched as he forced himself to leave. I knew I was being an idiot for taking him back, but my only hope of keeping him away was also keeping his hands and lips off me. Once that attempt had failed I’d been done for, although the level of his talent strength still surprised me. He hadn’t been able to do the same only a very short while ago, an
d now I had no choice but to take him back.
So I sat down to wait while daydreaming about how wonderful it would be to be held in his arms again while he made love to me, and a certain amount of time passed without my noticing. A knock at the door brought me back to the world, making me wonder why the big fool would knock. I hurried over and opened the door, fully intending to ask the question, but it wasn’t Vallant who stood there.
“Are you ready, Tamrissa?” Rion asked with a smile, Naran standing beside him as usual and wearing the same smile. “It’s been decided that we’ll have to leave earlier than we expected to, if we’reto get through the crowds of people who have gathered in front of the palace. Apparently someone spread the word of our ultimatum to the Five, and the entire city has turned out to see what happens.”
I felt tempted to say that the Five—along with the entire city—could wait a little longer without it killing them, but that wouldn’t have gotten me what I’d been dreaming about. Even if I’d been able to drag Vallant out from the middle of all that planning, knowing everyone stood around waiting for us to be finished would have ruined the mood completely. There was nothing for it but to shrug and say of course I was ready, and then follow Rion and Naran toward where everyone else was.
But considering the foul mood I’d been thrown into, I began to pity those five poor fools in the palace. And also to wonder, now that our reconciliation had been delayed, whether it would be Vallant or me who had a change of mind next time…
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
Lorand sat his horse with as much patience as he could muster, wondering if everyone in the city had turned out to watch what would happen. Despite the cloudiness and threat of rain the crowds were enormous, and the guardsman part of their group was having a hard time getting them through those crowds. The guard members had wanted to use the same sort of uncaring force they used to use, and wouldn’t have been pleased with the Blending’s refusal if they’d been allowed to still have feelings of their own. But at the moment they just obeyed orders, and made a careful way through the throng.
“I think I have a small bit of good news,” Jovvi said as she leaned toward him from her own mount. “I can’t be certain with this many people around, but I just may have picked up Alsin’s trace near another section of our group. I certainly do hope it’s him.”
“After all he’s done for us, it would be a shame if he missed out on the end of this,” Lorand agreed with a nod. “It isn’t his fault that he couldn’t resist Tamrissa, it was just his bad luck. I looked for him after the fight, but he’d already left the house.”
“He waited just long enough to see which one of them Tamma would go to first,” Jovvi said with her own nod, keeping only half her attention on their rate of progress. “He knew that what she said to that one didn’t matter in the least, the important part was which of the combatants she went to. He was just about falling off his feet while Vallant had only a small cut on his cheek, and yet Vallant was the one she went to. That convinced him he really did have no chance at all to win her.”
“Maybe he was mistaken to believe that that was important,” Lorand ventured, feeling his frown. “Tamrissa and I had breakfast together this morning, and she flatly refused to hear anything I had to say about Vallant. He, for his part, began to run seriously short of patience with her last night, after she told him how much she hated him. Since nothing has changed between them, maybe he has more of a chance than he thinks.”
“Lorand, my dear, things have changed between them,” Jovvi told him gently with a smile. “Vallant was up and around before all of us this morning, and he must have done a lot of thinking. He also must have done some doing, because Tamma’s feelings toward him have taken a sudden shift. Couldn’t you see the way they kept glancing at each other while we were getting ready to leave the house?”
“I suppose I was too busy with my own thoughts,” Lorand said, his brows high with surprise. “I’m glad to hear it, of course, but I really do wish they would pick one way to feel and then stick with it. When you need a High in Spirit magic to tell you what’s going on with them at any particular moment, things are definitely out of hand.”
Jovvi’s laugh tinkled out, but it was clear she agreed with the sentiment. The back and forth between Tamrissa and Vallant could well drive all the rest of them crazy, and probably would have if not for what they still had ahead of them. At the moment they were gently forcing a way through the crowds just in front of the palace gates, and Nome Herstan, captain of the guard contingent they’d captured in Widdertown, had been perfectly right. There were no guardsmen protecting entry to the palace, not any longer.
Once they’d gotten through the gate, progress was a bit easier. Only some of the people had ventured onto the palace grounds themselves, and they now stood in a cluster to one side of the gate. If the rest of the crowd had followed they would probably have stormed the palace yelling and screaming, but with less than a dozen of them in number they didn’t quite have the nerve to attack the place where the Seated Five were waiting. They eyed the newcomers as Lorand and the others dismounted, hoping to find something that would send them forward with screams to loot and destroy, but that wasn’t going to happen.
“Captain Herstan, take some of your men and get those people back through the gate,” Lorand heard Vallant say. Vallant tended to miss very little, and actually did make an extremely good military leader. “Explain to them that we’ll be too busy to protect them if the Five decide to destroy them before attackin’ us, but make sure your men are alert. If those fools try to resist, use whatever force is necessary to throw them out.”
Herstan took one section of his guardsmen and headed for the group of people, and Vallant turned his attention to his own group.
“We need to do a bit of reconnoiterin’ before we go in there,” he said as he glanced around. “The future centerin’ around this confrontation was still very unclear this mornin’ when we Blended, but maybe it’s cleared up a bit by now.”
“Are we wise to actually go into the palace?” Rion asked mildly with nothing but curiosity behind the question. “The closer we take our bodies, the more our entity will be handicapped by needing to protect them.”
“That all depends on how deep inside that place the Five are,” Vallant replied, gesturing toward the palace. “The farther our entity has to go, the more strength it will use up before we even get to any fightin’. Let’s see if we can locate them, and then we can decide.”
That seemed to be the most sensible way to do it, so Lorand and the others quickly agreed. Their link groups had already formed up around them, which meant that in another moment their entity was born again to float toward the palace.
The entity was, as ever, pleased to be cohesive and active again, but this time it felt somewhat perplexed. Most of the many shadows representing the future were still present, but some few had clarified to less than a handful of choices. The entity floated quickly into the heart of the palace, saw what it needed to, then floated out again. On the way it passed a flesh form which had been making its slow way out to the entity’s own flesh forms, a newcomer who was extremely frightened. As it carried a small, sealed envelope, the entity realized it would be foolish to stop and question the being. That chore could be safely left to its individual flesh forms…
“I wonder who that is who’s creeping toward the front entrance,” Lorand said once he was back to himself again. “The poor man seemed terrified, but he’s still coming toward us.”
“He’s certainly a servant,” Jovvi said, also looking toward the front entrance of the palace. “But there’s still a lot of hall and lawn between him and us, and at the rate he’s going he won’t get here until nightfall. I think I’ll hurry him a little.”
“Everyone be very careful when he gets here,” Naran warned, her voice trembling just a bit. “There’s the possibility of some sort of danger around the man, but not necessarily from him. It’s more involved than that—But why am I telling you th
is? You certainly saw it just as clearly as I did.”
“Not quite as clearly,” Lorand said to her, giving her a smile of reassurance. “The entity puts all of our various talents together, but it still takes practice in using those talents for someone to appreciate everything the entity sees and does. After the Blending is dissolved, I remember more about things connected with Earth magic. For things having to do with seeing into the future, we still need your expert interpretation.”
“Expert,” Naran echoed with a faint smile and a soft sound of scoffing, but it was clear the explanation had relaxed her. “Well, if I’m our expert in that area, let me repeat what I said: be careful with this man whoever he is, as there’s something about him that I don’t like the looks of.”
Lorand saw that even Vallant nodded his agreement to the caution, all of them apparently wise enough to know when not to dismiss a warning. Then they all gave their attention to the man who now approached at a trot, certainly through the courtesy of Jovvi’s talent. She’d clearly taken him over in order to hurry him, and a pair of moments later he stood puffing and trembling before them.
“I—I bear a message from Their Excellences,” the man stuttered, holding out the sealed envelope. “I’m really no danger to you, so please don’t hurt me!”
“Wait,” Lorand said as Vallant automatically reached for the envelope. “There’s something odd here… Jovvi, you usually soothe the people you touch. Didn’t you do that with this man?”