by Sharon Green
“Tamma, Lorand is saying that Alsin gave his life willingly,” Jovvi added, having hurried into the room and over to me to put her hand to my hair. “He knew nothing could come of his love for you, but circumstance let him show just how great it was. He would have wanted you to remember him fondly, not with guilt over what he chose to do. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
“I may be able to understand later,” I whispered, still clinging tightly to Vallant as both his arms held me close. “Right now I don’t believe I can handle any more than this…”
“Of course you can’t,” Jovvi agreed at once, sympathy and caring clear in her voice. “And you also can’t stay in this bedchamber. Vallant will take you to his for now, and later, when you’refeeling better, you’ll see if you want to change that. I also think you can use a trip to the bath house, and if Vallant isn’t willing to keep you company, Naran and I will.”
“It will mean forcin’ myself, but I think I can manage to do it,” Vallant replied with something of a chuckle. “And afterward you can have your choice of a dress to put on. That ought to be a pleasant change.”
“It won’t be very pleasant until we can get rid of all that hilsom powder,” Lorand said as he eyed the clothing in the wardrobe. “Now that I see it, I understand how Hallasser was able to get the better of you, Tamrissa. He apparently put it on some of the dresses, and when you opened the wardrobe he must have caused it to blow into your face. But you couldn’t have inhaled that much, so its effects ought to wear off fairly soon.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t see this happening sooner, Tamrissa,” Naran put in from where she and Rion stood, her voice filled with misery. “By the time it came through to me that something was wrong, we found Vallant and Lorand already hurrying in this direction. If only I’d told Rion sooner…”
“Then Alsin would still be alive, but he would also still be absolutely miserable,” Jovvi said when Naran’s words trailed off. “I know how miserable you’re feeling, my dear, but I happen to believe that everything turned out for the best. I know Alsin Meerk was happy to give up his life for the woman he loved, since he knew that his love would never be returned. Now let’s all go and sit down somewhere together, and talk until the shock of what happened has worn off a bit.”
That was a suggestion everyone seemed to agree with, so I let Vallant help me around the pile of mess that had once been a man, and we all went to a sitting room and talked for a while. The talking did help to a certain extent, and after we had some tea Vallant and I were shooed off to the bath house. We were told that no one else was using it and that that would continue while we were still inside, so when the hilsom powder abruptly wore off enough to put me back in touch with the power, I turned to Vallant and coaxed him into making love to me. He didn’t really need much in the way of coaxing, and I actually forced myself to tell him how much I’d missed him—and how much I loved him.
“I never thought I’d hear you say that,” he whispered as he held me close and caressed me. “I’m tempted to just say the same, but you deserve to hear the full truth. I know Jovvi was right when she said Meerk was glad to give up his life for you, because I’ve been feelin’ the same way. If the man was still alive I’d owe him an apology—and my deepest thanks for what he did. Thinkin’ about losin’ you… I’d much rather lose my own life, since I’d have no life if anythin’ happened to you. You are my life, Tamrissa, and I’ll never love any other woman the way I love you.”
I think I cried then, but certainly not for long. Vallant and I shared our love for a very long time, and then we went back to the house and dressed in clean clothing. By then it was dinner time, so we ate with the others and then joined them for a meeting about what we might do against the coming Astindans. There wasn’t much we could do besides go out and face them, so now I’ve brought this journal up to date. If I don’t get the chance to come back and finish telling the story, maybe someone else will do it for me.
In any event, I intend to sleep in Vallant’s arms tonight and for as many nights as we’reallowed to be together. That number may come to no more than one or two, but if so, it will still be for the rest of our lives…
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
The others asked me to finish this narrative, and I suppose it is fitting, for a number of reasons, that I do so. So now it is I, Rion Mardimil, who tells of what befell us—but only, as was done from the beginning, as the events occurred.
Our Five had any number of meetings until the Astindan force arrived, and various ploys were thought of, discussed, and for the most part adopted. During this time the city saw the influx of large numbers of refugees, along with the shattered remnants of the second army which the Astindans had defeated. At Jovvi’s suggestion we set up many units of city people whose task it was to find food and shelter and medical attention for the new arrivals, and those who were physically able were put to work at other tasks.
Quite a large number of nobles still remained in the city, and guardsmen groups—accompanied by volunteer workers—went from house to house confiscating food. In all fairness it should be mentioned that the same was done with nonnoble residences, as the hoarding of food would do no one any good. All arriving shipments of food—what few shipments still came—were directed to central locations where it might be made available to everyone. Rationing was quickly put into effect, and only a surprisingly small number of people complained.
“They’rethe sort who would complain about the noise if they found themselves in a rainshower of gold coins,” Jovvi said with a grimace when the objections were brought to our attention. “It doesn’t seem possible to avoid people like that, so you have to find ways to deal with them instead. I think we should have our people tell them that if they don’t like the idea of rationing, they’refree to go out and find their own sources of food. After all, we’d never want to force people to take what they don’t really want.”
“But let’s make it clear that they can’t take what belongs to someone else,” Tamrissa added. “If they try it anyway, make sure they know that we’ll be the ones who come after them. And let’s not forget to tell them that they sound like the old nobility.”
“That’s adding insult to injury,” Lorand put in with a laugh. “But I do have to say I enjoyed the stories about how the nobility took having their mountains of food confiscated. The howling and screaming must have been music to everyone’s ears.”
“It would have been music to mine,” Vallant said with a nod of agreement. “Those people have been due a good takin’ down for a long time, and I’m glad I’m around to see it. No servants, no extra food, and no real way to leave the city. Imagine things like that happenin’ to people like them.”
“I believe I’m more pleased to see it than you are,” I informed Vallant, enjoying the satisfaction I felt rather strongly. “I’ve come to the conclusion that every one of those people is a waste of living space, so no one will shed any tears if they don’t happen to survive.”
“If we manage to have an empire left after the next—and hopefully last—confrontation,” Jovvi said, “we’ll have to make sure that the same thing doesn’t happen to our followers. There has to be a way to reward the people who help you, without setting them up in a position where they’ll immediately begin to ruin their children. If we bother to look, we ought to be able to find that way.”
“I think we can worry about that after we win,” Lorand said after putting his arm around her, softening his words. “Right now we have more immediate things to concern us, like getting the word we’ve been waiting for about the approaching forces. I just hope that the ones who went are being careful.”
A knock suddenly came at the door, and when the door was opened it was as though Lorand’s words had conjured the event.
“Excuse the interruption, gentles, but High Master Lavrit Mohr is here and asking to be admitted,” Captain Herstan announced. “Do you want to see him?”
“We’ve been waitin’ for him,” Vallant confirmed w
ith a nod. “Show him in, and try not to interrupt the meetin’ for anythin’ but a real emergency.”
Herstan nodded and then stepped aside, and High Master Mohr walked in. He stopped to bow to us as the door was being closed again behind him, and then he sighed as he advanced to a chair.
“I can’t say I’m completely convinced about your reasons for not moving directly into the palace,” he said as he seated himself. “There isn’t a person in the city—aside from the nobles—who doesn’t agree that the place is yours, and yet you remain here in this house. Surely you know that people would be more comfortable having you there, not to mention how much more comfortable you would be.”
“We haven’t the time to worry about which noble with a grudge might be trying to destroy us the next time,” Jovvi answered for us, giving the man one of her incredible smiles. “The palace needs a million people to run it properly, and interviewing them one at a time could take years. It’s a good deal easier for us to simply stay here right now, and worry about the palace later—if we have a later. What have your people found out?”
“My people together with yours have discovered the composition of the Astindan army,” Mohr replied with another sigh. “Personally, I kept picturing thousands and thousands of troops, all marching vengefully at us, but I’m afraid the truth is worse. There are something like six hundred people in their force, consisting of ten Blendings, each with tandem link groups for every aspect. The rest of the force seems to be two extra members of each aspect for reliefs or replacements in the Blendings, plus a group to see to the horses and preparing meals and such. Do we have enough Blendings to match that?”
“Not quite,” Lorand responded after we all exchanged a glance, his heavy tone an excellent indication of how I, myself, felt. “All told we have seven Blendings including ours, and too many of the others have simply practiced as a Blending, not really acted as one. Take our word for the fact that there’s a considerable difference in the two situations. Were you able to find out the compositions of their ten Blendings?”
“That’s where your people and mine worked incredibly well together,” Mohr replied, a small amount of enthusiasm coloring his words. “Yours protected mine from discovery while they rated the members of the Blendings, so now I’m able to tell you that not all of them are Highs. Half of the ten contain strong Middles in one or more of the aspect positions, very strong Middles but still not Highs. That’s something of a help, at least.”
“Why would they use Middles rather than Highs?” Tamrissa asked, her lovely brow creased in a frown. “It doesn’t seem to make much sense.”
“It starts makin’ sense if you stop to consider what they know about us,” Vallant pointed out. “At the time they started movin’ on us, our great empire had only one Blendin’. Ten to one make unbeatable odds, even if some of those ten aren’t as strong as they might be. But what about the link groups? Are they all Highs like ours, or are there Middles mixed in as well?”
“My people hardly had the time to rate all the link group members as well,” Mohr said, faintly reproving. “With fifty people attaching to each Blending, it simply wasn’t possible. They did, however, spot check the link groups, and had the overall impression of Middles rather than Highs. Strong Middles, to be sure, but Middles nevertheless.”
“Which hopefully means our feeble plan might work,” Jovvi said, leaning back as she voiced her own sigh. “But that won’t eliminate the threat, just make it slightly more manageable. I’m afraid it will eventually come down to which of us has the strongest leading Blending. What did your people have to say about the ones Pagin Holter told us of?”
“As we all suspected, they’rethird level upper Highs, just like the five of you,” Mohr said, speaking the words slowly as though he confessed to a terrible crime. “That means rating them precisely is beyond us, as they haven’t yet reached their full potential. But neither have you, so the situation is far from bleakly lost. As it would have been with the usurpers, Highs though they were. Their potential was limited by something other than their ability, while yours is not.”
“Potential doesn’t mean much if you aren’t able to put it into play,” Lorand pointed out glumly. “And it doesn’t tell you just how far you can stretch yourself before you break. But I have the feeling we’ll be finding out about that last part in just a little while. How far away are they from the point where we’ll be alerted?”
“As you asked, you’ll be alerted when they’rehalf an hour’s ride from the city,” Mohr responded, now clearly trying to hide a shadow of worry. “They were delayed during their last effort to find edibles, which is naturally becoming more difficult for them. But they aren’t destroying the land they’ve been almost stripping of food and meat animals, and I don’t understand that. I thought they were here to exact vengeance.”
“They are, but not against themselves,” Vallant responded. “You have to remember that they’ll want to retrace their steps on their way home, and if they destroy everythin’ now they’ll get awfully hungry on the way back. They are destroyin’ things like houses and personal possessions, but what they’ll need to keep them eatin’ after they’ve torn down Gan Garee won’t be touched until they don’t need it any longer.”
“What a pleasant future we have to look forward to,” Mohr said with yet another sigh, then he shifted in his chair. “A pity we aren’t able to simply run away, just as the nobles in the path of that advance did. Have you been told that an unexpectedly large number of nobles has returned to the city, apparently unaware of what has been happening here? Among them were the owners of this house, and the fools actually tried to demand the return of it. Your guardsmen did an excellent job of shooing them off, right after informing their servants about the new arrangements. They ended up having to drive their own carriage, and may not have even made it safely out of the neighborhood. Well, I must be getting on about my business. If you need me for anything, simply send word to my house.”
“We’ll do that, High Master, and thank you,” Jovvi said, again speaking for all of us. “If things go the way we want them to, your Guild will have a brand new standing in the empire when we rebuild. And you’ll never again have to send young men and women to death or slavery.”
“That end in itself is worth any effort,” Mohr said, rising to his feet to bow. “Needless to say, you have my most sincere wishes for the best of luck.”
We accepted his wishes with nods of thanks, and a moment later the man was gone. The news he’d brought hadn’t done much to cheer us, and no one seemed prepared to comment until Naran stirred and looked around.
“I’ve just seen a very small change from what’s been shown me until now,” she said, her lack of relief a clear indication that not all the answers we sought had been given her. “Our plan to make the confrontation a bit more equal will most probably work, so we definitely have to go through with it. As far as the rest goes, though… Everything will eventually come down to us facing their best, and the outcome of that confrontation is too unsure for me to see anything but multiple shadows. Anything can happen, from all of us as a group to some of us as individuals, living or dying, hurt or unhurt. Everything is still possible, except for one thing: if we decide not to face them, we’ll definitely survive. Not many other people will, but we ourselves will be safe. I thought everyone should know that.”
“I can’t see that it makes much of a difference,” Tamrissa said, having borrowed Lorand’s glumness. “I, personally, would love to simply pick up and leave, but to go where and do what? And how are we supposed to live with ourselves if we save our own lives at the expense of everyone else’s? We’d eventually start blaming each other for having run away, and at the end there would be nothing but self and mutual hatred. Not dying is all well and good, but there’s a difference between not dying and actually living. If I can’t enjoy the life I’ll be living, I’d rather be dead.”
“I’m afraid I have to agree,” Jovvi said, her usual smile having disappeared e
ntirely. “I’ve experienced not-dying just as Tamma has, and as I’ve said before, I refuse to go back to it. If I can’t live the way life was meant to be lived, I’ll also take death.”
I was about to join Lorand and Vallant in agreeing to what our two sisters had said, but Naran interrupted the intention by leaning close.
“It’s something of a good thing that they feel like that,” she whispered, nodding toward Tamrissa and Jovvi. “I didn’t want to say so out loud, but I’m afraid that they have the smallest chance of surviving the confrontation. Do you think I ought to tell them, love?”
Saying I felt appalled is to show the inadequacy of words, and I hadn’t the least idea of how to answer Naran’s question. A short time went by while I wrestled with the turmoil in my mind, and then the opportunity to reply was taken from me. A knock came at the door, and Captain Herstan appeared again.
“Excuse me, gentles, but word has just come that the approaching host has nearly reached the point of being half an hour’s ride from the city. You asked to be informed?”
We agreed that we had, and then we all rose to our feet. No matter whether we lived or died, the time to act had come.
CHAPTER FORTY-THREE
Our ride through the city to the western road was an experience in itself. The weather had turned unexpectedly cool, and yet an enormous number of people stood about in the street watching us go past. Some few tried to cheer when we appeared, but the rest simply stood and stared at us, fear clear on their faces. Word had obviously spread about what we were in the midst of, and above the fear the people showed, putting a very faint light into their eyes, was a glimmer of hope.