"Yes," Lane said, stepping into the center of the room, right in the midst of all the chaos. "So, are you done for the day?" he asked again.
"We could be," Jane said. They both glanced at me, and I shrugged.
"I think we are," I said since they had already been in there for longer than the designated time.
"We did get a lot this time," Jane said. "You should have seen Zoe's conductor impression."
Lane glanced at me curiously, and I gave him a small smile. It was edged with melancholy as a result of all the emotions I'd just experienced, and Lane scowled at Jane. "You guys can go ahead and start packing up," he said. "I'm sure Zoe's ready to start her holiday."
"Hey, that sounds like a good idea to me," Jane said. "We're ready to start our holiday, too. We just got a little carried away talking to Ms. Zoe here."
Jane and the others began gathering their things while talking about each of their plans to head home for Christmas.
"Can I talk to you for a minute?" Lane asked, looking straight at me from across the room. He gestured to me with a wave of his hand, and I made my way around the camera equipment so I could follow him into the hallway.
Chapter 12
"Hey," I said. "Merry Christmas."
"What are you doing?" Lane asked.
"We were filming," I said, unsure of what he meant exactly.
"I meant what are you doing for Christmas."
"Nothing. I mean, Linda said I could go over to her house, but I'm not sure what I'll do yet. There's about ten of us just staying here, so I won't be alone or anything. What are you doing?"
My relationship with Lane had been distant to the point that I was nervous and awkward about interacting with him. I kept glancing into my room for fear that we were being overheard by the crew.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"Nothin'."
"I didn't know if you wanted to come with me to Maine or whatever," he said. "I'm leaving tomorrow to go spend Christmas with my family."
"For how long?"
"I'll come back the day after Christmas."
I stared at him with a stunned expression. I wasn't sure how we'd gone from all business to would you come with me on a five-day trip to meet my parents.
"It was probably a bad idea for me to ask," Lane said, taking in my stunned silence. "My mom actually asked me to see what you were doing for Christmas. She loves that painting, and she… Anyway, I just didn't want you to be by yourself."
"Linda and Whitney have me volunteering at the food bank tomorrow afternoon. I think they signed us up for a shift to help them sort some canned goods. I would love to go with you, but I already told them I'd be there."
"We can leave the next day if you think you want to come," Lane said. "I was just planning on heading up tomorrow because I'm done here."
Lane's hair was almost black, and I got lost in the contrast of it against those light eyes. He tilted his head to break my stare.
"Zoe."
"Yes, oh, I mean, I don't want to make you a day late on your trip or anything, but I would love to go to your house for Christmas."
"Really?"
I nodded and stared at him like he must be crazy. "Definitely. I'd love to. I already told the girls I'd be there tomorrow, but if you'll wait—"
"What girls?" he asked.
"Linda and Whitney and them."
His expression was comically confused because there were no Lindas nor Whitneys at the collective.
"The beauty shop," I said, smiling at Lane's expression. "I'm a fan of old school beauty shops."
He nodded. "You've done some of that stuff in your paintings, and you told me about Fran's," he said.
"Well, I have a Fran's here in New York, only it's called The Snip and Curl. Linda and Whitney own it. They're a mother-daughter team. It's a boosted-up, much trendier version of Fran's, but same idea—that vintage feel and everything."
"I didn't know you hung out in a beauty shop."
"I looked it up and went there when I first moved here. It was back when I painted that one of the old hair dryer."
"I thought that was out of your mind," Lane said. "Something you remembered from Fran's."
I smiled and shook my head. "That's the Snip and Curl. I'm planning on doing a few more from in there once I'm done with this train series."
"Is that what you're calling it?" he asked, peeking into my room as if trying to get a glimpse of the painting I was working on.
"I don't know what I'm calling it," I said. "Ask me after I'm done with number twenty-four."
"Is that how many you're doing?"
"Yeah."
"Why twenty-four?" he asked.
I shrugged. "I like that number. Plus, it's my birthday."
"When?"
"The twenty-fourth."
"Of what month?" Then, as if Lane had just remembered seeing it somewhere, he said. "Is it December? It's December, isn't it?"
I smiled and nodded.
"I remember seeing that on your paperwork and thinking you were a Christmas baby. Well, you have to come now. You can't be alone on your birthday and Christmas back to back."
"I wouldn't be alone. I've got Linda and these goobers up here at the collective."
"They're not gonna make a cake and sing to you."
"Well, neither will your family."
"They most certainly will."
"They better not," I said. "You better not even tell them. Not on Christmas Eve."
Just then, Jane and her sidekick walked by us. "We'll be in and out for a few more minutes, getting packed up," Jane said.
"That's fine," I said with a wave as they continued down the hall. I shifted to stare at Lane again once the others looked away. I smiled. "I'd love to tag along to your family's place if you're sure you don't mind."
"I don't mind," he said. "I want you to come, or I wouldn't have come up here to ask you. I'll come by your room the day after tomorrow at 9am, and we'll head out."
We smiled at each other and he turned to go.
"Lane," I said with a hand on his arm to stop him. He regarded me, waiting for me to speak. It was on the very tip of my tongue to ask him if he had ever brought another artist to his house for Christmas, or if I was the first. "What do I need to bring?" I asked instead.
"Nothing. Just yourself."
"You sure?"
He nodded. "See you soon."
***
Lane's family made me feel so welcome.
His parents showed me pictures of Lane's real mom and thanked me profusely for following my gut when it came to doing that painting. They had another painting I had done, and when I asked them about it, they said Lane sent it to them. The strangest thing was that they didn't know it was my art because the style was so different, and Lane hadn't even told them I was the artist. They were floored when I told them it was my piece, saying it was one of their favorites, but they had no idea I had done it. I showed them my little insignia, which was mostly hidden, and they compared it to the one on the bunny painting, laughing at how they missed that.
Lane was playing with his little niece when that conversation took place, and he somehow got away with acting like he didn't really hear us. I didn't know what to make of Lane not telling his parents it was my piece, but I never brought it up to him.
The days passed quickly. I had an amazing time in Maine with Lane's family. He and I got to know each other quite well during the trip. We got into personal topics, but we were always careful not to let it lead to exploring our attraction to each other. It was apparent that both of us were willing to avoid acknowledging our feelings, even in the midst of moments where we felt chemistry.
We went bowling on Christmas Eve, and when we got there, I could see that Lane's mom and sister-in-law had our little area decorated for my birthday. It was the sweetest thing ever. His whole family came, and they even had a cake with candles for me, which hadn't happened in a long time.
Lane had a brother named Jason who was married with
two children. The oldest, a girl of about five named Maggie, watched me intently the whole time everyone sang to me. She was staring at me so seriously that I was convinced she was going to blow out my candles for me. I hesitated when the song was over, because Maggie leaned forward expectantly like she was really going to blow.
"Are you gonna do it?" I asked, waiting for her.
"No, silly, you have to. That's your job. You better hurry."
I quickly took a breath and let it out in a big whoosh, blowing out the candles in one try. Maggie watched me like a hawk, making sure the last candle went out before she finally relaxed.
"What'd you wish for?" she asked.
I had, no lie, just wished that Lane Alexander would fall madly in love with me. I wished it so hard that nothing else even came to mind as a lie.
"I can't tell, or it won't come true," I said, feeling thankful for that excuse, which worked every time.
She nodded. "Yep, I knew dat."
Lane's mom cut the cake, and we all sat around eating while we continued to take turns bowling.
"Yessss, baby!" Jason said, turning around in triumph when he got a strike.
Lane was standing next to me, and he used the distraction to ask, "What'd you wish?"
I smirked at him. "I can't tell," I whispered. "Or it won't come true."
"You don't believe in all that," he said.
"Which part? The wishing, or the not telling?"
"Either."
"Maybe I don't, but I sure did wish something just then."
"What was it?" he asked.
I narrowed my eyes and sat my plate on the table beside us. "It's my turn," I said.
My heart was pounding the whole time I walked up to the front and got the ball. It had been fairly easy to avoid Lane at the collective, but now that I was in Maine and we were all stuck indoors with the cold, he was right there beside me all the time. I felt like I was constantly shaking and shivering.
I took a deep breath before walking up to the line and letting the ball roll down the lane. It was the most horrific example of a gutter ball ever. Not only was it a gutter ball, but it also only traveled about five feet before clanging into the gutter in a most violent manner.
Lane and Jason were both smiling at me when I turned around, but everyone else was eating cake and no one else was really even paying attention. I was giggling as I picked another ball to go up for my second shot.
"Please, God help me," I whispered as I held the ball to my chest. I took a deep breath, zeroing in on that first pin—the one right in the front. "Please do like you did with David's stone, God. Help this ball hit those pins, please, please, please."
I did my best aiming and follow-through, desperately hoping for anything to happen besides a gutter ball incident like the first. I peered through my fingers, but I could tell right away from the ball's trajectory that I was going to hit some pins. I hit them all, actually. Every single one of them fell down. I jumped and shouted, and the whole family cheered like it was a game-winning shot. It was great timing with me just having blown out the candles, and I was smiling from ear to ear as I came back to join them around the table.
"Nice spare," Jason said.
Lane's dad's name was Phil, and he smiled at me and clapped me on the shoulder as he passed me on the way to get his ball. "She's throwin' rocks tonight!" he said.
"Who's throwing rocks?" Maggie asked.
"I'm just saying Zoe's doing a good job," Phil explained to his granddaughter.
She squinted at him, trying to figure out how doing a good job had anything to do with throwing rocks.
He laughed as he tousled her hair. "It's just bowling talk," he said.
Lane was smiling at me as I came to stand near him. He had just finished his cake, and he threw the small paper plate away before handing me mine.
"Thank you," I said, grinning at him as I took it out of his hand. I tugged on it, but he wouldn't let it go, so I glanced at him.
"Happy birthday," he said where no one else could hear.
"Thank you."
"You look really cute out there bowling."
"I didn't look cute on that first one," I said.
He let the plate go, and I took it, cutting into the cake and taking a bite before looking at him again.
"Yes you did," he said. "You looked especially cute on that one."
"Cute in a you feel sorry for me kind of way?"
"Not even close to that kind of way," he said.
"What kind of way, then, Lane?" I asked with teasing challenge.
"In ways we've agreed not to discuss."
"Why are you bringing them up, then?"
"Hey, at least talking is all I'm doing," he said.
"Uncle Lane, it's you turn," Maggie called.
"One time, something happened," I whispered before he could walk away. "One time, you did more than talk about it."
Lane's expression remained neutral, but I knew he was stirred up by me bringing up the kiss. I made a silly, scrunched-up face at him. "It's your turn," I said.
I ate a few bites of my cake and discussed favorite colors with Maggie while Lane bowled, and before I knew it, he was standing beside me again.
"It's your turn," he said to Maggie who took off.
"What'd you get?" I asked, glancing at the monitor, which said he bowled a spare. "Good job," I said, before he could even answer.
"You mean you weren't watching?" he asked pretending to be hurt by holding his fist to his chest.
I grinned. "You told me not to," I said with wide eyes.
"I did not," he said. "I thought you were cheering for me over here. I thought you and Maggie would have your pom-poms out."
"If I watch you, all it does is get me in trouble," I said.
"Why, you like my form?"
He was kidding around, but I actually did like his form. He was athletic looking, even at a not-so-athletic sport like bowling.
I cleared my throat. "I'm just trying to do the right thing and ignore you," I said.
Lane gave me a regretful smile as if he really wanted to say that we should throw caution to the wind, but he just couldn’t. He conveyed a lot in the prolonged eye contact that followed. Somehow, without Lane saying a word, I understood that he really wanted me, but he also wasn't going to let himself give in. I was honored by the attraction that was evident in his expression, but heartbroken at his resolve. Lane Alexander was entirely too noble.
Chapter 13
The following spring
Weeks turned into months the way they tend to do, and the next thing I knew, we were more than halfway done filming the documentary. I had just finished filming my seventh session, and by now, Jane barely had to remind me to phrase my answers in a way that made it seem like I hadn't been asked a question at all.
I had just finished my 24th and final piece in the collection, and I was pleased with the way it came out. I only featured trains on two of the paintings, but I was still calling it the Train Collection just because of the nature of how they all lined up.
I had become close with a lot of the people at the collective, and many of them had been in and out of my room as I worked, commenting on my pieces and asking me questions. Lane came up a time or two, but mostly I just saw him downstairs when I went through the gallery or helped out behind the desk. I saw him a lot, but both of us had a difficult time ignoring our attraction, so we always kept our encounters as brief as possible and only used eye contact when it was necessary.
I carried a torch for Lane, but after months of seeing that we weren't going to let a relationship develop, I decided to give up. I didn't really decide on my own as much as deciding sought me out. This came in the form of my friend Macy asking me if I'd go to Lu's wedding with a friend of hers.
I knew the guy. His name was Rhett Newman. He was an art collector who came into S&S regularly. He owned several of my pieces, and we had met a couple of times at the gallery. My friend, Macy, was interested in one of Rhett's friends, so sh
e thought the idea of us double dating to Lu's wedding would be a win for everybody.
I didn't feel the same chemistry with Rhett as I did with Lane, but I couldn't let my feelings for Lane get in the way of going on with my life, so I said 'yes' to going to the wedding with Rhett. I was glad I did because Lane was there, and he was with a date as well.
It was a huge wedding. There were what must have been two or three hundred guests, but I found Lane instantly, and my heart sank when I saw him. Even from across the room, I zeroed in on the beautiful blonde sitting next to him.
We watched the wedding, and then went right next door to the equally grand reception. I had on a dress, which was extremely rare for me. Oddly enough, Rhett had bought it for me before I even agreed to go on the date—it was part of the incentive package. Macy brought it up to my room with a handwritten note from him, asking me to be his date.
To be honest, I was relieved that he took the time to shop for me, because I didn't own a single dress and probably would never have bought one as nice as the one he sent. I figured he must be one of those rich guys who had a personal shopper who picked it out for me.
So I agreed, and there I was, at Lu's wedding wearing Rhett's navy blue dress, which thankfully fit me perfectly. The reception was at least as crowded as the wedding. There was a buffet with tables, and live music, and dancing. I knew they were there, but I did my best to ignore Lane and the blonde that came with him.
Rhett and I were talking with Macy and the others at our table when I excused myself to get something to drink. Rhett said he'd like to go with me, and I agreed even though I felt like I wanted to get away for a minute.
Lane and the blonde happened to be standing between us and the area with drinks, but by the time I saw them, we were already set in motion to go over there.
"Hey, there's Lane," Rhett said as we crossed that way. I knew he was going to make an effort to talk to Lane, and I decided that anything I did to discourage him from doing so would be suspicious.
"Hey!" Rhett said, drawing their attention.
So Much for Boundaries (Shower & Shelter Artist Collective Book 3) Page 9