Lane had been holding my right hand on his heart, and he brought it to his mouth, letting my fingertips fall onto his lips. I could feel his warm breath on my hand, and my whole body experienced a yearning sensation. It was so overwhelming that I closed my eyes.
"You okay?" he asked. I felt his lips move under my fingers when he said it. My eyes were still closed, so it was easy to concentrate on the sensation of his mouth beneath my fingertips. I nodded, trying to keep my cool even though my lungs weren't quite working right. His hand was still on my chest, so I knew he could feel the rise and fall, but there was nothing I could do to steady my breathing—not with my fingers on his mouth like that.
"I'm pretty sure it's gonna take ten thousand years to get to August," I whispered as I slowly opened my eyes.
He smiled and then kissed my fingers. He kissed the tips of them before turning my hand over. I watched as he placed several slow kisses on the back of my hand before turning it over to kiss my palm. "I am completely amazed by what this hand can do, Zoe, but I'm even more amazed by the girl who's attached to it. At first, I thought it was your art that did it to me, but then I realized that even if you never made another piece of art in your life, I'd still want to be with you."
"I'd still want to be with you even if you didn't look like a model with your shirt off."
He took my hand from his mouth and put it on his ribs, smiling at me when I made a longing face the instant I touched his side.
"I'd still want to be with you even if your face wasn't the most beautiful thing I have ever seen," he said.
I squinted at him. "Don't even get me started on your face, mister."
"Eleven months," he said.
"Can we make it?" I asked.
He gave me a doubtful shrug.
"We can do it," I said. "Never fear, we've been doing it all year already."
"Yeah, but you got carried away and started dating someone else."
"I'm sorry," I said. "I would have never done that if I would have even thought you were… if I would have known…"
"Now you do," he said.
His hand was still over my heart, and I brought it to my face. Lane used this as an invitation to take me into his arms. I gasped in surprise as he pulled me against his chest, and before I knew what was happening, I was staring at him from only inches away. I buried my face in his chest, relishing in the relief of finally being in his arms.
He held me tightly. We held each other, actually. The relief we both felt was evident in the length and intensity of that hug. He took a deep breath in and then out, and I did the same, letting my body meld into his like we were human-size puzzle pieces. I couldn’t stop tears of relief from springing to my eyes, and I blinked them away.
"Zoe?"
"What?"
"Remember that one time when I—"
"Got it out of your system?" I asked, before he could even finish what he was saying.
I wasn't looking at him, but I could feel his chest shake with laughter.
"What?" I asked, pulling back to look at him. He was smiling at me, and it might have been the best thing I had ever seen.
"What were you gonna ask?"
"I like your question better," he said.
"What were you gonna say?"
"I was gonna ask if you remembered that time when I kissed you."
"That's the same thing I said."
"I know, you just phrased it better."
"Well, I do remember it," I said.
He grinned. "You do?"
"Yep."
"What do you remember about it?"
"That I loved it."
"You did?"
"Uh-huh."
And then he let his lips touch mine. It was so gentle that I made a small whimpering noise. Lane smiled and licked his lips briefly before setting his lips to mine more firmly.
I pulled back just far enough to barely break contact. "Lane, I want to be yours one day."
(Kiss.)
"How about today?" he asked.
(One kiss, followed by two longer ones.)
I had been dreaming about his lips for so long, that finally touching them caused a crippling wave of anticipation to wash over me. I held onto him tightly.
"I want to be yours today," I whispered. "But we have to wait till August."
(Kiss.)
"Fine," he said. "We'll wait."
(Kiss.)
"Why do you keep kissing me, then?"
"I thought you were kissing me," he said.
(Kiss.)
"Nu-uh, you were kissing me."
He smiled. "You said I can get it out of my system since you're standing right here in my apartment."
(Kiss.)
"Did I say that?" I asked dazedly, feeling lost in his blue eyes.
Lane nodded. I found him so irresistible that I reached up to gently pull him toward me, taking his bottom lip into my mouth as soon as our lips touched. I let the tip of my tongue brush against his mouth, and Lane pulled back, looking me over for a second before kissing me for real. Lane kissed me in a way that said I was his, and I was eager to let him do it, feeling like I was telling him he was mine as well.
Chapter 18
It was three days later, and I was sitting with one of the other artists behind the desk in the gallery when Lane came out of his office.
I glanced up at Lane, and he gestured for me to come toward him. "Fran's on the phone for you," he said. "You can take it in my office."
I stood to follow him. "Is everything okay?" I asked.
"She tried to call upstairs, and whoever was at the phone transferred her to my office instead of the gallery by accident. I didn’t ask what she was calling about. I just told her I'd come get you. She called me sugar."
"She calls everybody sugar," I said.
"Oh, I thought she just liked me because I'm your boyfriend."
We were almost to his office, but I still looked back to see if anyone had overheard, which they hadn't. No one was even there.
"Did you tell her that?" I asked.
He smiled. "No, I just thought she'd know my voice from over the phone," he said, teasing me.
He came around his desk to pick up the phone, and we smiled at each other as he handed the receiver to me. He held his finger over the button to connect the call, but he hesitated before pressing it. "I'll be right back," he said. "I have to run upstairs for a minute."
I knew he was giving me privacy, and I smiled at him thankfully as I sat in the rolling leather chair that was behind his desk. "Can I sit here?" I asked after I already sat.
He smiled. "Yes."
With that, Lane pushed the button to connect the call and turned to walk away. He was already halfway across his office when I said, "Hello?"
"Zoe?"
"Yes ma'am."
"How are you, baby?"
"I'm fine. How are y'all?"
"Did you finish that big project you were working on?" Fran asked, blowing past my question.
"Yes ma'am. I'm selling it in February when the documentary comes out. I'm saving one of the paintings for you, though. Number sixteen. I'm gonna send it to you. It's a painting of your house and shop. I have Maple on the porch and Hilda's old Cadillac pulling out of your driveway with you standing in the doorway, waving goodbye the way you do."
There was a pause, followed by Fran saying, "That's why I'm calling, sugar." Her voice was several octaves higher than normal, and she sounded shaken.
"Why?"
"MeMaw passed on yesterday."
I felt the sting of hot tears shoot to my eyes the instant she said it. "I'm so sorry," I said. I could hear her take a gasping breath on the other end, and I knew she was crying.
"I can't believe you painted me sayin' bye to her," she said in that whimpering voice that said she was trying to hold it together. I felt a huge tear stream down my cheek as I remembered Ms. Hilda belting the lyrics to the New York song the day I left town. She had said the wrong lyrics, and I absentmindedly tried t
o think of what her mistake was, but all that made me do was cry more.
"I'm so sorry, Ms. Fran. I didn't know, or I wouldn't have said anything about the painting. It wasn't her exactly, it's just her Cadillac."
"Oh, Zoe, don't be sorry, baby. I think it's the perfect day for you to tell me about that painting. I like imagining what it looks like, me waving goodbye to her Cadillac. I bet it's really special."
You'd think I would have known what to say to her since I had gone through losing both of my parents, but I still didn't.
"She lived a long time," I said.
"Yes, she did, and she loved the Lord."
"Well, I guess maybe it's a happy thing instead of a sad."
"It definitely is," she said.
"It takes a little adjusting for those of us left here, but it's a good day for MeMaw, that's for sure."
"Is there anything I can do for y'all?" I asked.
"Oh, no baby. Other than that painting. I'm really looking forward to seeing that."
"It won't be till February, but I've got your name on it. I'll send it as soon as I sell the other pieces."
"Thank you, sweetie."
"Love you, Ms. Fran," I said.
"We love you, too. And MeMaw loved you. She would sit up here and tell everyone about you going off to New York and making it big."
I smiled and blinked away fresh tears that threatened to rise. "Thank you for callin'," I said.
"You're welcome, baby. We love you and we're proud of you."
I smiled, even though I was hit with a wave of melancholy. "Love y'all too," I said, hoping my voice came across as neutral.
I hung up with Fran, and I sat at Lane's desk, staring at some papers without taking in what they actually said. I was still staring blankly when Lane came back into the room. I glanced at the door when I heard his footsteps.
"Is everything okay?" he asked.
I nodded. "Ms. Hilda died. She's Fran's grandma." I sighed. "It's fine. She was like a hundred years old. It's just weird when somebody you know passes away, you know? Like there's a tangible but unexplainable little void there. Then that void makes you think about the other people you've lost, and somehow, those voids sort of stir up again."
"All this in the time I ran upstairs?" Lane asked as he rounded the desk and sat on the edge of it, putting a comforting hand on my back.
"It's okay," I said with a sad smile. I sighed, letting my shoulders slump a little. "It's part of life. There's a hundred percent chance that it's gonna happen to us."
I straightened up and smiled, wiping underneath my eyes with the back of my finger.
"That's what keeps us looking forward to Heaven," Lane said, causing me to smile.
"Yes it is," I said. "And what should drive us to make the most of the time we have here."
"You're tough, Zoe."
"Says the man who just watched me cry."
"Crying only adds to your toughness."
"Then, I should be the Incredible Hulk."
He laughed before tilting his head at me as if considering something. "Is it a bad time to give you a present?"
"It's never a bad time to give me a present," I said, leaning back in his chair with a watery-eyed giggle.
My mind instantly went to a promise ring.
In the three days since we mentioned it, I had been wondering if Lane would actually do it. My heart always pounded around Lane, but it was absolutely buzzing at the mention of giving me something.
Lane smiled at my excitement, and leaned over to open his desk drawer. He picked up a leather keychain that had two keys dangling from the ring. "I know we're not acting on anything, but I wanted you to have the keys just in case you needed to get upstairs."
I held my hand out, and Lane dropped them into my palm.
"The little one's for the elevator, and the other one is for the stairs. It'll be obvious when you go to use them."
"Thank you," I said.
It wasn't what I was expecting, but it was equally special. I knew Lane didn't take something like that lightly, and it took a lot for him to do it. I grinned at him, standing up as I dropped my new keys into my back pocket.
"I feel really special," I said, flirting with him.
"You should."
"I do."
"Good."
(A few seconds of staring at each other.)
"Do you want something else?" he asked.
"What?"
"Look in there," he said with a gesture to his drawer. I sat on the edge of his chair, timidly opening the drawer, and I saw the ring box the instant I looked in. I had been specifically looking for one of those, so my eye fell on it immediately.
"Is it this?" I said as my head whipped up to look at Lane.
He smiled and gave me a little nod.
"This right here?" I asked, pointing at the box.
He nodded again, and I picked it up.
My hands shook as I opened it. There, in the box, was a thin gold band, completely lined with the tiniest diamonds. From what I could tell, it looked like they were going all the way around, but it was tucked into the padding of the box, so I couldn’t fully appreciate it until I took it out. I shook the whole time, but Lane didn't mention it, so I didn't either. Beautiful, shimmering diamonds circled the entire band, and I tried it on my right ring finger and then my left.
"Is this the right finger for this?" I asked.
I glanced at him, and he shrugged. "You're the one who knew all about promise rings."
"I know it's the most beautiful one ever," I said as I began unclasping a gold chain that I had around my neck. I took off the ring and hooked it onto the necklace before attaching it to my neck again. "If I wear that thing into the gallery on my finger, all I'm gonna do is stare at it the whole time, and then I'm gonna get us both in trouble."
"Do you like it?" he asked.
I stood up and stared at him with what I hoped was the most sincere expression I could make. I put my hands on his arms. "I can't even tell you how much I love it," I said. "It's better than perfect, and was the perfect time to give it to me, too."
"I'm sorry about your friend," he said.
I smiled. She was the one who sang, "Start spreadin' the news!" when I left town." I had told him that story the first day I got here while I was painting the robot.
"I figured it was the same lady when you said how old she was."
I reached up to touch my neck. "I'm so excited about my ring," I said, fiddling with it as it dangled from my necklace. "If the door wasn't open, I might have to kiss you."
He glanced at the open door. "I really hate that it's open."
"Me too," I said.
And thank goodness we didn't act on our desires because at that very second, Macy came to stand in the doorway. "Carol told me to ask you to order some towels," she said before she even noticed that I was standing on the other side of Lane. "Oh, I'm sorry," she added when she noticed me. "Was I interrupting something?"
"No," I said. "I had to take a phone call from home, and Lane let me use his office."
"Oh, that's why Lane's line was busy. Well, Carol told me to let you know we needed towels upstairs," she said, smiling at Lane.
Macy was still standing way over by the door, and I was positioned behind Lane in such a way where I knew she couldn't see as I gently touched his hand with my finger. He grabbed at my finger stealthfully so Macy couldn’t see.
"She said we had to get rid of a bunch of them when we had that incident in the studio."
The incident she was speaking of was the result of a small terrier that had come into the collective with one of the artist's friends. He had gotten loose in the studio long enough to make a total mess.
While I was halfway listening to what Macy was saying, I was way more interested in flirting with Lane. I kept thinking about my new ring and feeling so happy that he went out and actually bought it. I touched his hand again, feeling giddy when he grabbed me back, hanging onto me with his fingertips. A huge smile threate
ned to spread across my face, and I had to stop myself from letting it happen.
"She said it was time to replace some of them anyway," Macy said. "She was thinking twenty would do it."
"Gotcha," Lane said. "Thanks."
"Are you working right now?" Macy asked, looking at me.
I started to take my hand from Lane's, but he held onto it, causing me to smile. "I told Mia I'd help her in the gallery until five."
"Okay, I was gonna show you that new round brush I got."
"I'll be up in a little while," I said.
"Is Mia out here right now?" Macy asked, gesturing to the gallery.
I nodded.
"I need to ask her something before I head upstairs."
"I'll come with you," I said, since I knew I couldn't just stand there and secretly flirt with Lane all day. I gave his hand one last squeeze before letting go. I smiled at him nonchalantly as I made my way around his desk toward Macy, and he gave me a secret grin that had me blushing on my way out the door.
Chapter 19
The following February
I searched on the internet and figured out that there wasn't really a rule when it came to what finger an individual should wear their promise ring. I decided to wear it on the ring finger of my left hand like a traditional wedding band since that's what Google said a lot of people do—and do you know what? Nobody noticed.
I took the delicate band off the necklace and put it on my finger the very night Lane gave it to me, and I had been wearing it there ever since. For months there had been a ring on my wedding band finger, and literally nobody had asked me about it. Lane liked to reach out and poke at it when nobody was looking just to remind me it was there, and I loved it when he did that.
I loved him.
The more I got to know him, the more excited I was for August to arrive. We didn't have a plan yet, but there was an unspoken understanding that we would be together come August, and neither of us could wait.
So Much for Boundaries (Shower & Shelter Artist Collective Book 3) Page 13