“You’re a murderer,” she says quietly.
My insides churn and boil, but my body remains still. She knows. She ran because she knows. Emily didn’t ask if I was a murderer, she said it. A statement of fact.
Emily spins in my arms and peers up at me beneath long lashes. They aren’t wet and her gaze isn’t hurt or pained like I expected to find it.
“Tell me, Garrett,” she requests.
I swallow thickly, wondering how I can make this any easier.
“I’m a murderer,” I admit the simple truth.
“I need to know. You’re gonna have to explain this to me,” she urges me on.
“I moved here when I was released from prison. I served eight years of my fifteen-year sentence for armed robbery and voluntary manslaughter. My father’s serving a life sentence for first degree murder and avoided the death penalty by turning me over as part of a plea deal.”
I feel almost robotic as I speak. I’m just passing along information like a computer printout. It’s not what she wants. Emily wants the whys and the hows. I’m not sure she wants the answers that come with those questions.
“Your father?” she asks horrified.
I nod.
“Adam found me in the crowd after I left you.” My body tenses at that information, but she keeps going. “He told me that you’re a murderer. Asked me if he was worse than a murderer. I don’t know what happened, but I had to get away from him. Away from everything. I just needed a minute to breathe and think. I ran. I ran and ran and ran. I’m not a runner. I mean, I can go for a jog every now and then, but I’m not a runner. I thought I was gonna puke when I stopped.”
She’s rambling. I’m not smirking this time. I’m enjoying the fact that she’s still in my arms though.
“Then Cody found me. I know I shouldn’t have gotten in a car with a stranger, but he seemed harmless and really concerned about me. I didn’t know where to go. I couldn’t call Jordan or go to him. This is your story, your background. Clearly, you don’t make this public information, so I wasn’t gonna share it with Jordan without talking to you. But you didn’t tell me, and what if Adam was lying? I knew he wasn’t though. I know when that jerk’s lying and he was tellin’ the truth. So, I took off. I should’ve come to you. Talked to you.
“But you made me a pumpkin. No one’s ever made me a pumpkin before. The way you see me, sculpted me…you captured my soul in that pumpkin. I couldn’t demand answers after somethin’ so beautiful. I’m not in a position to demand anything. You don’t owe me answers even if I want them. I know I’m safe with you. Bashing Adam’s head in my door last night solidified that.
“So I ran. And then Cody found me, who’s very sweet, by the way. He drove me here. I’ve never been up here before. I think it’s stunning. Absolutely breathtaking. I was standing here thinkin’ about my mom. Elizabeth Amelia Garner. It’s beautiful name, don’t you think?”
I nod slightly, as she continues to talk.
“She was the best person the world has ever known, Garrett. Her heart was so big you could fit any strife within it and it would just fade away. That spark…it may have left when she did, but I swear it’s still here sometimes. I search for it when I feel alone or sad. Just a little piece of the woman who loved me like only she could.
“Standing here in all this beauty and serenity, I feel connected to her. My mom would’ve liked you. A lot. She thought a man should be strong, a caretaker. My father was that for her. She told me when I was little that my life would never have trouble because the man who captured my heart would protect it from everything bad. I believed her too. I still believe that.
“Adam is worse than you. He didn’t protect my heart or me. In less than a week’s time, you’ve done that. You’ve given me more in a few short days than he did in two years. I know I shouldn’t be your girlfriend after only a few days. It’s crazy to move that quickly. I obviously need to know more about you. I need details from you. I need the whole story. I don’t know how I’ll react or if I’ll stay with you. But I know this, I really wanna know you, Garrett Sharp,” Emily finishes with a deep breath.
Emily’s words matter. Every single syllable carries weight. She said so much I don’t know where to start. What to tell her. What to share. What to hold back. I don’t get the chance to say anything because Jordan speeds up to the house.
He flies out of his car, racing toward us.
“Oh no,” Emily whispers, pulling out of my embrace.
“You did not do this!” Jordan screams from about twenty feet away. “There’s no way you’re this fuckin’ selfish, Em.”
He’s on her immediately, grasping her shoulders firmly. I don’t like it.
“Tell me you did not take off. Tell me that you did not make me think somethin’ fucked up had happened to you. Tell me you did not put me through the shit that haunts me!”
He’s shaking her. Not hard, but with more force than I can tolerate.
“Ease up, man,” I command.
“Jordan,” she sobs and collapses against his chest.
He holds her fiercely, trembling with fury that begins to morph into sadness. I walk away when I feel like I’m intruding. Cody’s still sitting on the porch when I make my way back to the cabin. I take the empty beaten down wicker chair next to him.
He doesn’t say anything. He just sits, staring out over the bluffs.
“You look like him,” I say after a long while.
“Yeah?”
He doesn’t sound surprised or impressed. That’s important. It means he’s got a good head on his shoulders.
“Who’s gonna take care of you?”
“I am,” he responds plainly.
I turn to look at him. He’s sixteen-years old. Just starting to fill out. He’ll grow at least half a foot by the time he’s twenty. Good frame for sports or a fighter. He’s not sad or angry, which is interesting to me. He seems numb.
“This your land now?”
He nods.
“You gonna keep it?”
He shrugs.
“You wanna move in with me?”
Now his deep green eyes are on mine. He searches my face for a good minute. No expression on his, just reading me as best he can. Not an easy task. He tries though.
“Yeah,” he answers when he’s satisfied with whatever he found in my stony gaze.
I don’t need a DNA test to prove it. Cody Matthews is my brother. Or half-brother if we’re getting technical. It seems when Daryl was supposedly visiting Clyde up here, he was also fucking a woman. I wish I could say he had a relationship with her and treated her well, but I know the man. That’s not how he worked. Cody’s never even met the bastard.
Cody’s mother died a month ago from some heart condition she didn’t know she had. She was a single mom with no support system. He’s been able to stay out of foster care by staying with a friend’s family, but it’s a temporary solution. Cody didn’t ask me to step in. He asked me to get in contact with Daryl to get him to sign emancipation papers. I’m not sure I can do that. I don’t want to go back to prison and if I have to speak to Daryl Sharp, I’ll go away for life.
“Tomorrow,” I grunt.
He nods and we both turn our gazes back to the bluffs. I watch Emily and Jordan. She’s still in his arms, but it looks like they’re talking more calmly. I think Cody’s watching them too, but he may be just looking at this land. The only thing his mother left him other than a piece of shit for a father and a felon for a brother.
The world isn’t fair.
A lesson learned too early in life.
I park behind my shop and blow out a heavy breath with force. I’m exhausted. Jordan took Emily home after they made up. She hugged me before she got in his car and it felt like the kind of goodbye you get when you won’t see someone for a long time. I expected it and it still fucking burned.
“She okay?” Clyde’s on me before I’m two steps in the shop.
I look around to see if we’re alone and find we are.
“Adam filled her in on my felonious ways,” I huff.
“Shit. So she took off?”
“She just needed a minute,” I explain poorly.
He nods his understanding even if he doesn’t.
“Devlin’s over at her shop helpin’ shut everything down. You might wanna go check in,” he suggests, saying he wants me over there now.
With a lift of my chin, I make my way over to Emily’s Coffee & Cakes. Right before I open the door, I hear that fucking cackle again. Jesus she needs her vocal cords cut.
“I told you,” Sarah says glibly.
I shift a little to remain in the shadows and also to allow me a better view of what’s taking place.
“Yeah you did,” Adam purrs, grabbing two handfuls of her ass.
This motherfucker is a piece of work.
“You’re gonna be sad when I’m with him. No way Emily’s gonna be able to do what I just did.”
“Why would I be sad? I’ll keep fuckin’ you like I have been,” he snorts.
“Somehow I don’t think Garrett’s gonna be down with that. Once I’m with him, this’ll stop,” she replies with sadness in her voice.
“Is that so?”
Then his mouth is on hers, devouring her. It’s not passionate or loving; it’s animalistic. My stomach turns as I watch. Why aren’t they together? If they want each other—obviously they do—why is he going after Emily and Sarah stupidly coming after me?
“Get me those numbers,” Adam orders. “You goin’ to my dad’s place?”
She nods.
“My place after?”
“He’ll want me to stay the night. You know that.”
“I’ll get someone else then,” he says dismissively.
I see hurt on her face as he walks away without saying another word. Sarah watches him until she can’t see his silhouette anymore. When she turns to go back in her shop, she spies me.
She doesn’t jump or scream like Emily does when I startle her. Sarah’s face goes pale and her throat bobs roughly. I would say she looks intimidated. I want her to be petrified. Let’s see what I can do about that.
I stalk toward her and watch her brown eyes double in size. With my momentum, I drive her body against the rough brick façade of her store. She clutches at my jacket and I rip her hands away, pinning them behind the small of her back with my fingers. My free hand fists her fake hair roughly, jerking her head back.
“So the Warren whore shows her true colors,” I say quietly in a menacing tone.
Anyone passing us will think we’re in a lover’s embrace. I’m good at hiding in plain sight. This isn’t my usual process for dealing with people, but the same unassuming principles apply.
She whimpers as I increase my hold on her, but does nothing to fight me.
“You go ahead and keep suckin’ his dick and thinkin’ about mine while you do it. That’s as close to me as you’ll ever get. I guess you know about my history. You really want a murderer to be your man? You wanna get fucked by the felon? See if prison makes me fuck like there’s no tomorrow? I wouldn’t touch you with Warren’s dick.
“If you come near Emily again, I’m comin’ for you. Both of you. They’ll find your body in pieces spread around the Midwest decorated in Warren’s DNA. Don’t. Fuck. With. Emily!”
I let her go and watch fat tears spill down her cheeks. Fucked up thing is, her sobs make me feel good. Like I did something right.
I walk a few feet away before spinning to tell her, “You’ve got come on your chin.”
She gasps and starts rubbing her skin feverishly. I want to laugh. But I don’t. I walk away feeling like this is just the beginning of me torturing her and Adam Warren. They opened a can of worms that was mislabeled. The can was full of poisonous snakes instead and I can’t wait to sink my fangs into them.
I hear Devlin’s deep chuckles before I see him standing in the doorway of Emily’s shop.
“I forgot how fuckin’ mean you are,” he compliments.
“That was nothin’.”
He nods in agreement as we bump fists before entering Emily’s shop that feels sad and cold without her warmth in the space.
“So Emily knows.”
I’m guessing she filled in Jenna or at least gave her an idea and Devlin filled in the blanks.
“Yeah.”
“She freaked and ran?” he asks almost disbelieving that’s what she’d do.
“Kinda. She’s not pissed or hurt. I think she’s confused…overwhelmed. I’ll step back. Give her space. I shouldn’t have gone this way to begin with,” I scoff, running a frustrated hand over my stubble.
Devlin’s dark eyes study me for a while as he strokes his jaw.
“Gave the woman a marker. Callin’ it in for her. I say you’re worthy of the coffee chick.”
“I’m glad I have your approval,” I drone sarcastically.
“You’re carryin’ shit that doesn’t belong to you,” he growls.
“You had me watch your woman while you were on a ride. You’ll always have to watch her or have someone on her. You good with that?”
“We’re not talkin’ about me.”
I stare him down and wait for an answer to my fucking question.
“I gotta be good with it. If I’m not, someone else gets a life with her. Maybe I’m a selfish motherfucker because I’d rather have her with me than safe with some douche bag attorney or surgeon. I didn’t force Jenna to be with me. I worked my ass off just to get a fuckin’ coffee with the woman this week. It was worth it. I didn’t lie to get with her. She knows what I am…how I live. I let her decide. If she would’ve told me she couldn’t handle the life, I would’ve cut her loose,” he explains, taking a seat at the date table.
I can’t sit there with him. I see Emily in the seat across from him almost every day looking like bliss. I can’t taint the space with this shit.
“You could get her killed or worse,” I warn.
“Who has the balls to pull that fuckin’ move on me?”
“There’s always someone.”
“Okay, so you’re sayin’ you and I should just fuck faceless whores for the rest of our lives and forego anything that’s good because we don’t have the right to live with anything else?”
“You did not just fuckin’ say that,” Jenna growls, standing with the swinging doors pushed open. “Yeah, we can hear you, dumbasses.”
“Babe,” Devlin tries to soothe her.
“Fuck you, Caleb. You too, Garrett.”
She stalks over to us, her model features looking more sinister than I thought they could.
“You wanna lesson about women? Here’s a free one. Don’t fuckin’ assume you know us. I have a brain that works just fine on its own. I’m with you because I don’t wanna be with another man. I don’t feel obligated. I. Want. It. Your life is dangerous and fucked up. I get that. I lived in my own version of fucked up long enough to know what I can handle. And here’s the thing. I know you’ll never let anything happen to me. And if by chance somethin’ does happen, I know you’ll maim, murder and torture to ensure it never happens again.
“Most women don’t get that from their men. Look at Emily. She may be the kindest goddamned person alive and Adam ‘the safe choice’ fucked her over royally.” She jabs her finger in my chest as she continues. “And you, you stupid fuck, make her feel safe. Whatever you did in the past doesn’t matter. That woman lost her mother and survived to make a good life. She was cheated on for two years and walked in on that shit to top it off. Do you see her wallowing? No, she’s still a glowin’ ray of sunshine.
“You don’t get to decide what’s best for her. Emily can make that call on her own. If you’re too scared to find out what she chooses, you don’t deserve her and you aren’t the man I thought you were. Either way, finish up this fuckin’ conversation so we can get outta here. I wanna see my friend.”
She spins to walk away before Devlin wraps her in his arms and smashes his mouth to hers. She melts against
him and I stop watching. I wish I could quit hearing. After way too long, he lets her go and she floats back in the kitchen.
“I think I love that woman,” Devlin announces after she disappears.
I don’t respond. I can tell he loves her and she loves him.
“You don’t go after your woman, Adam Warren will. He will anyway, but he’s got a shot if you’re not there. Don’t be fuckin’ stupid. You’re a lot of shit in life, but stupid isn’t one.”
“Got another issue,” I grunt, needing a subject change.
He quirks a brow at me.
“You know Cody Matthews?”
“Kid’s mom died a few weeks back right?”
I nod.
“He look familiar to you?” I ask, wanting to see if he can put this together.
Devlin runs a hand over his messy black hair, deep in thought. I wait until I see the recognition pass through his eyes.
“No shit?” he whispers.
“No shit.”
“Fuck me. What’re you gonna do?”
“He’s movin’ in tomorrow,” I reply with a shrug, because beyond that I have no idea what I’m doing.
“Fuck me.”
“That’s my job,” Jenna announces as Beverly, Arlene and her stroll into the shop.
Arlene offers me a sad smile, as does Beverly. They knew about me. With Arlene being Clyde’s woman, she knew me before I went away. When I was released, Beverly and her tried to dote on me as much as they could. I didn’t take too well to it, but I appreciated the effort they put in. I only stayed with Butch and Arlene for one night. I couldn’t stand being around people when I got out. I needed to breathe. I needed silence. I needed to be alone.
That’s how I feel right now with everyone’s eyes on me.
“You comin’?” Jenna asks me with a hopeful look on her face.
“No.”
With that, I turn on my heel and leave Emily’s Coffee & Cakes. I storm through my shop and receive a meaningful glare from Clyde as I move. I slide in my ride and peel out of the alley. When I pull in my garage, I release the steering wheel from my white-knuckle grip and try to get a handle on my rage.
Two people that claimed to love me ruined my life. I can’t let them ruin Emily’s too.
Mugs of Love Page 15