Now I’m the warmest I’ve ever been.
The disappearance of four Kansas City businessmen has all but left the news at this point. There’s always something going on to replace stories. A school shooting. A celebrity wedding. The newest technological offering. Fifteen minutes of fame is no different for crime.
Shutting off the TV, I breathe in the aroma enveloping the house, gingerbread and apples. Emily’s at the stove cooking dinner while Cody sits at the kitchen table leaned over books and papers. I climb off the couch and stride the few steps to the roaring fire that’s causing the Christmas tree to shimmer. I move a few logs around, careful not to knock the stockings into the flames.
I feel the corner of my lips tip as I study our initials Emily stitched at the top of each stocking. She’s more like her mother than she gives herself credit for. The mantel is covered in snow globes and little elf figurines. The tree is completely covered in ornaments of reds and golds. It looks like the North Pole threw up in here. I like it.
Cody and I covered the outside of the house in white lights that you can see from half a mile away. When we were done, Emily asked if we could put a few more strings on the porch. I snorted but did what she asked. Anything for my woman.
Now that we’re in the New Year, I keep asking Emily if we should take stuff down. And every time I ask, she says just a few more days. We’re going to be those people with a Christmas tree up year round at this rate.
Christmas was chaotic around here. Emily’s family came up from Kansas City, both sets of grandparents and her dad. They’re all easy people to be around and her maternal grandmother is a riot. I think she said enough inappropriate shit to make me blush.
Caleb and Jenna were here with Hunter and Alyssa who are now all living together. I don’t think Caleb got his shit straight on paper, but I’m pretty sure he paid off the right people to get custody of the kids. Alyssa’s doing much better and so is Hunter. It was the right move for them.
Jordan was here for the festivities too. He’s a constant in our lives. He hasn’t let Emily go. I like that he hasn’t. I’m not jealous of what they have and I’d never try to back him off. I know he loves her like family and I know how important that is to Emily. So I’ve embraced him and he’s become a friend to me. I’ve known I could trust him since the night with the businessmen, but I didn’t know how much I liked him until we started spending almost every day together. It’s good to have a friend other than Devlin.
New Year’s Eve wasn’t all that glamorous for us. After what happened the last time the kids were at a party, we decided just to hang out at our place and play games. It was a very domestic night for me. The girls dressed up and I spent most of the night with a painful hard-on watching Emily’s toned legs in her short, tight red dress. I rang in the New Year with my woman screaming my name.
Life’s good now. Life’s normal. I’m trying to embrace that, but I feel myself waiting for something bad to happen. That’s the way my life has always worked. I’m hoping that’s over now. I paid the price for being a shitty person and now I’ll get my slice of good in the world.
Only time will tell.
“Hey,” I grunt at Cody, squeezing the back of his neck. “How’s it goin’?”
He has a paper due on Monday when school starts back up.
“Fine,” he grunts back without looking up at me.
I make my way to Emily and wrap my arms around her waist, placing a kiss on her birthmark.
“Dinner’s almost done,” she says through a sigh.
“Tired?”
“Someone kept me up late,” she teases, stirring a pot of mouthwatering stew.
“Sorry,” I say through a grin.
“I keep telling you, you can’t apologize and smile about it,” she grumbles.
“Would you consider hiring someone else to bake?” I ask as she covers the pot and turns to face me.
“Why?” she asks defensively.
I’ve hit a nerve.
“Because you’re runnin’ yourself ragged between the shop, Cody and me,” I answer honestly.
“I’m fine. I just need to get more sleep,” she chides me, trying to end the conversation.
“Sugar, hiring someone to bake so you’re not working twelve-hour days isn’t a bad move.”
“Because it’s better for me to be here to wait on you hand and foot?” she seethes, pushing out of my embrace.
What the fuck?
I turn to see her disappear up the stairs, thudding all the way to our room where she slams the door. I look over at Cody whose jaw is hanging open. I think mine is too. I’ve never seen Emily like that.
“Keep an eye on dinner,” I growl as I pass him.
I fly up the stairs and throw the door open to find the room empty. Then I spy her head poking up at the edge of the bed. When I walk over, I find her on the floor with her knees pulled up to her chest.
Her fire-filled golden green eyes snap to mine.
“I won’t give up the shop for you, Garrett. I’ve wanted that place since I was six. I talked about it with my mom until the day she died. She knows what it looks like, even though she never laid eyes on it. I can feel her within in the walls. I spend every day with my mother and I won’t stop doing that because you demand it,” she seethes.
“I don’t know why you’re so pissed, but let me clear some shit up for you right the fuck now,” I snarl.
She looks away from me and my rage soars.
“Look at me,” I order harshly.
Slowly, Emily drags her eyes back to mine.
“I didn’t demand you to give up a fuckin’ thing. I asked if you would consider hiring someone to bake. Just to bake at four in the motherfuckin’ morning so you can sleep like a normal person. I would never tell you to give up your shop. Why the fuck are you accusing me of that?”
“Adam wanted me to give up my shop,” she grumbles.
Now I’m blinded by fury. I have to get away from her before I say something I can’t take back or slam my fist through every wall in the house.
“I’m glad to know you think so fuckin’ highly of me,” I scoff.
“I didn’t say you were Adam.”
“No, but you’re punishing me for his fuck ups.”
“I’m tired, Garrett,” she says sadly. “I know you’re not Adam. I’m sorry I’m fighting with you. I just feel overwhelmed by everything today. I don’t know why.”
I relax a little as regret sweeps across her face. I’ve never seen her like this. Not much fazes the lightness of Emily. Something’s bothering her.
“What’s goin’ on with you?” I growl, leaning down to scoop her off the floor before depositing her on my lap on the edge of our bed.
“I don’t know,” she lies.
“Emily,” I grunt.
It’s only her name, but it communicates everything I need it to.
“I think I’m pregnant,” she whispers.
“Okay.”
I wait for her to say something else about it. She hasn’t been on birth control for almost six weeks. I’m not surprised she’s knocked up. That was the plan after all.
“I’m scared,” she whimpers, nuzzling into my neck.
“About?”
I run my palm up and down her spine, trying to comfort her while the last of my fury seeps from my cells.
“Everything. If I’m not good at this. If I get sick like my mom. What if I’m a helicopter mom and our child ends up hating me? What if I smother him or her and they turn into a serial killer? What if I can’t stop the verbal diarrhea and I constantly embarrass them? If it’s too early for us. What if you decide you don’t want me when I’m fat and cranky?
“And there’s somethin’ about poop. I don’t remember, but I remember something about pooping and birth from my high school child development class. What if you have to watch me poop? That’s awful, Garrett. You’ll never look at me the same. And when Jordan finds out I pooped in public, he’ll tease me about it for the rest of my life,�
�� she half cries, half moans.
“Sugar,” I try to say it without laughing at her ranting.
“Don’t you dare laugh at me, Garrett Sharp,” she warns, looking up into my eyes.
I don’t want to, but I chuckle. It’s funny. She’s funny.
Emily slaps my chest a few times before snickering herself. There’s my firecracker, quick to burst into flames and faster to fizzle into a warm glow.
“You want me to answer those questions?” I ask after we calm down and I kiss her breathless.
She nods. I turn her in my lap so she’s straddling me and cup her soft cheeks, staring into her captivating eyes.
“You’ll be an amazing mother. We don’t know if you’ll get sick like your mom. I hope like hell that doesn’t happen, but we’ll never know that and we can’t live our lives in fear of the unknown. Our kids will fuckin’ love you and they won’t be serial killers. Your ranting is maybe the cutest thing in the world and it will embarrass our kids. It’ll be good for them. It’s not too early for us. We decided we were ready for this weeks ago. Trust that shit.
“I don’t give a fuck if you’re as big as a house and hell on wheels. I love you, Emily. That’s not changing. And I have no clue about the pooping. But if you poop, you poop and we move on from it. You’re bringing my baby into the world. As long as you’re both safe and healthy, it doesn’t matter what else happens. I won’t tell Jordan anything and I’ll beat his ass if he teases you about it,” I assure her with a brush of my lips against her creased cheek.
“Thank you,” Emily whispers, pressing her mouth to mine.
I take over the kiss, devouring her mouth. As she rocks her hips against me, I growl and flip us so she’s beneath me. I caress her tongue, licking and lapping. Emily’s tiny hands thread into my hair, tugging as she arches toward me.
I want nothing more than to sink into her, but I want to know if she’s pregnant. She didn’t know so I’m guessing she hasn’t taken a test. I’ll get her a test and then I’ll spend all night buried in her no matter the outcome.
“Have you taken a test?” I murmur against her jaw as I drag my teeth up to her ear.
“No,” she moans, reaching down to grab my ass.
“I’ll go get you one.”
“After,” she says in her husky bedroom voice.
“Gotta know,” I respond, pushing away from her.
She scowls at me as I stand up and rearrange my straining cock.
“You can’t tell me you think you’re pregnant and expect me to wait to find out,” I scold her.
“Okay,” she relents softly.
“Love you, Sugar. Do me a favor though, don’t ever compare me to your piece of shit ex again,” I dictate.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know why I did that. I know you’re nothing like him. You’re so good to me, Garrett. I know that. I trust that. It was just a bad moment attached to a crappy memory,” she says genuinely, sitting up to wrap her arms around my waist and burying her head against my abs.
“I’ll always take care of you,” I promise, pulling her head into me further.
“I know,” she mumbles against my shirt.
“Be back soon.”
I press my lips to her sandy hair and drag her to her feet before leading her downstairs.
“No fuckin’ clue what I’m doin’,” Cody grumbles from the stove.
“Sorry!” Emily exclaims, running to my brother.
She rubs his buzzed head and takes over.
“Back in forty-five,” I grunt, moving toward the garage.
“Love you!” Emily yells.
“Love you too, Sugar,” I purr, giving her a seductive look.
I’m definitely a fan of jeans, T-shirts and fuzzy socks. She’s mouthwatering as her cheeks flame. We’re going to have the baker discussion again soon because I need more time at night buried inside her. A lot more.
I head into the garage, slip into my ride and take off toward the far side of town. There’s a large retail park with chain stores, restaurants and a late hours pharmacy. Not that it’s late for a Saturday, but the pharmacy downtown closes at five.
I should’ve brought Emily. Why the fuck are there so many tests? Shouldn’t there be one? A single test that says yes or no? I’ve been standing here for at least twenty minutes trying to figure this shit out. I’m too proud to call my woman. I can do this.
I do what any other man would do. I grab one of each. One of these things has to be right. When I dump my basket out at the checkout, the young woman working laughs at me. I must hit her with a scary look because when she catches my eyes, she shuts her mouth and rings me up.
Hundreds of dollars later, I’m back in my ride and heading home to see if I’m going to be a dad. If you told me this was a possibility three months ago, I would have punched you in the face. No way would I be planning a family, living with a woman and in love.
Emily Garner rocked my fucking world down to the core. I can’t imagine anything else for my life now. I have a family. A real fucking family that I love and they love me back. I’ve spent a lifetime without that, not knowing how it felt. They say you can’t miss something you never had, but I did. I missed this shit.
My phone rings when I’m halfway home. My forty-five-minute estimate was way off. I’ve been gone over an hour. Shit.
“Hey,” I grunt at Cody.
“Something’s wrong,” he says quickly, panic in his voice.
“What?” I growl, slamming my foot down on the accelerator harder.
“Em got a call that Jordan needed a ride home. She left right after you and isn’t back yet. Doesn’t feel right.”
“Where?”
“She didn’t say,” he huffs, frustrated he didn’t ask.
“Fuck,” I snarl. “I’ll call you back.”
“’Kay. Sorry, Garrett,” he mumbles.
“Don’t,” I warn him. “It’s probably nothin’. I’ll call you back.”
I hang up and dial Emily instantly.
She doesn’t answer.
I leave her a clipped message and try Jordan.
Straight to voicemail.
He gets an angrier message.
I try Emily again as I swing around in the street and speed toward Jordan’s. I leap out of my ride when I find lights on in his place. I try to calm my rage as I pound on his door. She knows better than to take off and not answer me.
“What the fuck, Sharp?” Jordan grumbles, yanking a shirt over his head while buttoning his jeans.
I look over his shoulder and see a raven-haired girl on the couch covering her obviously naked body with a blanket, panicked blue eyes staring at me.
“Where’s Emily?” I growl.
“Why the hell should I know? She should be at your place,” he huffs and then catches the tick of my jaw.
“She told Cody she was comin’ to pick you up.”
“I haven’t talked to her since we closed the shop, man. What the fuck’s goin’ on?”
He runs a frustrated hand through his messy blond curls and then shoves a cigarette in his mouth.
“She’s not answerin’ her phone.”
“Fuck!”
He rips his phone out of his pocket and grumbles something about short battery life before stomping over to a charger in the dining room, which now houses a pool table. This is a bachelor pad and no longer Emily’s home.
“Where the fuck are you, Em? Call me now!” he roars in the phone. “Babe, you gotta get dressed and head home,” Jordan grumbles to the woman on the couch.
She scurries away with her clothes gathered up in her arms, the blanket tucked around her.
I quirk a brow at him, but he waves me off dismissively.
“Why would she say she’s comin’ to get me? You know she can’t lie for shit. She leave you a message or somethin’?”
“Cody. He just called freakin’ out.”
“Fuckin’ shit!”
“Call Jenna. She might’ve wanted some girl time,” I huff, not wanting to
give Jordan the details.
Now he’s quirking a brow at me. I try to keep my face blank as he holds his phone to his ear.
“Caleb, you seen Em?”
There’s a long pause before he speaks again.
“Can’t find her. She told Cody she was comin’ to pick me up. I got a pissed the fuck off Sharp standin’ in my house with no clue where she is,” he grumbles.
“You want the club in on this?” Jordan asks me as the now clothed woman emerges from the hallway.
She looks lost and a little hurt as Jordan nods his chin at the door and then ignores her. She grabs her coat out of the closet and slips out without looking back. I’m glad I don’t have that shit in my life anymore.
“Just Devlin,” I answer after considering what we should do.
“We can cover more ground with more men,” Jordan argues.
I nod. He’s right. I don’t want us to have to cover ground.
“Tell him to swing by Adam’s on his way to my place,” I growl. “And if he fuckin’ finds Emily there, that asshole is mine.”
Jordan grins that sly murderous smile at me and relays the information.
“I’m with you. My ride’s got bad ground in the taillight circuit. Was gonna deal with it tonight, but I got a little distracted.”
He wiggles his eyebrows at me and I snort. We head out to my ride and before I remember what’s sitting in the passenger seat, Jordan discovers it. Even in the dark of night, I can see his eyes bug out.
“What. The. Fuck?”
He drops the bag of pregnancy tests like they’re contagious.
“Figure you know how that happens,” I say through a shrug and point my car toward downtown to start searching for Emily, raging the longer I don’t hear from her.
“She’s knocked up?” Jordan asks disbelieving. “You knocked her up?”
“Don’t know yet,” I growl.
“She miss a pill or somethin’?”
“No.”
Jesus, I don’t want to have this fucking conversation.
“Spray and pray is not a good birth control method, man,” he chides, lighting two cigarettes and passing me one.
I take a deep drag and blow it out through my nose with force.
“Holy fuck, you did it on purpose!” he exclaims, punching my shoulder.
Mugs of Love Page 30