by Hadley Quinn
By then she’d flung the door open and faced him with hurt in her eyes. “And what? What then? You leave town because you’ve made some sort of asshole deal with my father? Ooh, let Ava have the house for another month and then you walk out of her life! Well fuck you both! I’m sick and tired of being screwed over by people!”
He stared at her tear-streaked face but was somber. She looked like she was about to completely lose it, so Gabe pulled her close to him. He just held her for a minute until she whispered she was sorry.
“I didn’t make that deal with your dad, sweetheart,” he finally said, speaking softly as he stroked her hair. “In fact, I told him that the only way I was giving you up was if you chose to be apart. He told me to get my ass off this property, but I convinced him to let me finish the job. But…he moved up the date from September to mid-August.”
Confused, she stepped back to look at him. “You- you told him we were staying together?”
He nodded. “But I’m sorry about the house, honey. I really am. It was just a job at first and…”
She was shaking her head. “I don’t care about the house. It is his house and he can do what he wants with it. I just thought… I thought that you…”
“You really think I’d let someone bully me like that, Ava?” he smirked. It made her smile as he used his thumbs to wipe the tears from her cheeks.
“I’m sorry for the mean things I said. I didn’t mean it. I was just…confused.”
“Well I don’t want you to be confused anymore, okay?” He slid his hand behind her head so she would look at him. “Okay?” he repeated.
She nodded.
He kissed her tenderly and said, “How ‘bout we go take that swim?”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Ava tried to get a hold of her father for three days. He wouldn’t answer her calls and he wouldn’t call her back. And when she talked to his secretary, she told her he was on a business trip and was most likely too busy to return any phone calls for a while.
Right.
Well, she figured it was a good thing. She’d originally wanted details about the lake house and why he had finally decided to sell it. Gabe had been working on the house before she’d arrived¸ so it seemed as if her dad had already made the decision to get it ready to sell. Maybe it just wasn’t getting used so he thought he should get rid of it. She wanted to find out if he would be willing to keep it if it had regular guests again.
It was a stupid attempt at an apology laced with selfish intent.
Ultimately she talked herself into letting it go. She didn’t want to deal with her dad, and she certainly didn’t want him to think she needed him or anything from him. Gabe was right. It was best to just disconnect.
Ava spent five more days at the lake, and when it was finally time to get back to Wallingford, she did it reluctantly. Gabe promised she would survive the three days, but she wasn’t convinced. He wasn’t willing to come with her either, which bothered her. She tried to convince him that three days away from the cabin wasn’t going to mean anything, but he gave her a few excuses that she couldn’t really debate.
She’d been home for only a day when her mother dropped by. She was in the middle of cleaning her air vents how Gabe had suggested when Claudia relentlessly rang the doorbell. When Ava answered, her mom literally scanned the home for several seconds.
“Gabe’s not here,” Ava finally informed her.
Her mom looked at her with disapproval anyway as she stepped into the house. “Well you’ll find someone, Ava. In fact, I talked to your handsome friend Adam at the country club the other day. He introduced himself and asked about you.”
Ava took a long, deep breath as she measured her words. Obviously Claudia hadn’t gotten the most recent memo from her ex-husband. “Gabe and I are still together, so no, I don’t need to find someone else.”
The most gruesome horror movie might have done less to contort her mother’s features. She was appalled, disgusted, shocked…you name it. And then the anger set in. But before flames shot out of her mouth, she clamped it shut, trying really hard to find a disciplined lady inside of her. Finally she took a deep breath and released it. “Very well,” she nodded curtly.
Ava could only guess what that meant. Her mother now held an expression that clearly indicated she thought her child was rebelling against her parents just to make them mad; she was trying to take the higher ground by waiting it out, waiting for Ava to ‘learn from her mistakes’. Ava respected that parenting tactic except for one thing…
Her parents loved to see her fail when she did something outside the box.
“Do you know why dad’s selling the house?” she asked outright. Better to get off the current subject, even though she was diving into another that was just as touchy.
Claudia glowered slightly. “I’m not included in your father’s affairs.”
Ava understood the dual reference it was meant to have, but she only responded to one of them. “Fine, but do you have an idea as to why he’s getting rid of it?”
“Ava, you know I couldn’t care less about that house. Obviously I don’t give a damn that he’s selling it. But on the other hand, apparently you’ve reconciled with the past?”
“Not really,” she answered honestly, and she could tell her mom was relieved. “But… I do love being there. Outside. I have a lot of good memories from there, too. And Chelsea and I had a really good time.”
“Hmph. So I gather,” she replied tersely.
“Mom, why don’t you get to know Gabe before you judge him.”
She chuckled bitterly. “Ava, I know the type. But I’m not going to discuss this with you because it’s not going to get through to you.”
Ava refrained from rolling her eyes.
“Anyways, I wanted to talk to you about next month’s charity auction for the children’s hospital.”
She sighed to herself but nodded. “Sure. What would you like from me?”
Her mom rattled off several ideas of art she’d like Ava to donate and she pretended to consider them all. Then Claudia made Ava promise to meet her for brunch on Sunday, and since Ava already knew she’d be returning to the cabin before then, she just agreed and told herself she’d get out of it with an excuse when the time came.
Ava’s classes for the day went just fine, and while she talked to Gabe on the phone, she finished up another painting she’d been working on. She had plans with Chelsea that evening but she was reluctant since it meant getting off the phone with her boyfriend.
She was even more reluctant when they ended up at the Garage, a pool hall in northeast Seattle. The setting was just fine, somewhere they’d been plenty of times before, but Trent and his friends were there too, including Adam. Ava didn’t feel like she’d been duped by Chelsea or set up in any way, but she couldn’t help but feel that things between Adam had shifted a little. He’d casually texted her a few times since they’d been at the lake house, but she was beginning to feel like he was finally noticing her.
Noticing her when it was already too late.
He smiled when she arrived, and even though it was good to see him because she really did like the guy, she was already plotting her excuse to leave. Adam did talk to her one-on-one a few times, but luckily the busyness of the place kept it undemanding.
But at the end of the night, when Chelsea and Ava were getting ready to leave, Adam asked if she wanted to go out sometime. There was a concert he got tickets for and he knew that Ava liked the band. Obviously Chelsea had not told anyone about Gabe.
“Saturday night?” she asked, trying to remain casual. “Uh, I don’t think I can because…” She was going to tell him that she’d be out of town, but did she really want to waste his time with lame excuses? She decided he deserved better than that, and frankly, so did she. “Well, actually… I’m seeing somebody right now.”
He was surprised. Nope, Chelsea hadn’t peeped a word. “Oh. Um, I’m sorry, I didn’t know. I, uh, talked to your mom the other day and…”
“I don’t really keep my mom up to date on stuff like that,” she smiled, trying to keep it light. She had no doubt that her mother had deliberately encouraged him somehow. “She likes to be a little too involved, if you know what I mean.”
“Oh,” he smiled uncomfortably.
She felt horrible. Had this been their conversation a month ago, she’d be jumping for joy.
“It’s recent,” she explained. And to be polite she added, “Otherwise I would say yes in a heartbeat.”
He smiled again but it seemed genuine this time. “Okay. Good to know. Um, let me know if things change, okay? We can hang out or something.”
“Yeah, definitely,” she nodded. “And thanks, Adam.”
“Sure,” he nodded.
She missed Gabe even more after that. She almost felt guilty, like she’d led Adam on until he finally asked her out only for her to turn him down. She knew his timing wasn’t her fault, but she just needed to be with Gabe to feel comfortable again.
She couldn’t get to the lake fast enough on Friday night. Gabe was expecting her the second she drove in because she’d been on speakerphone with him. But she didn’t plan on how utterly drained he looked when she saw him. It was great to receive hugs and kisses from him, but she knew without a doubt that he hadn’t been sleeping. She shouldn’t have been surprised, but she was alarmed. Alarmed by how almost completely stoned he looked from lack of sleep.
He was very obvious with his affection though. She knew he wanted her in his bed and it’s what she had wanted too, but Ava was suddenly too rattled after seeing him.
“Let’s sit down for a sec,” she said. They’d pretty much been making out in his living room, heading for the bedroom.
He stopped kissing her and examined her closer. “What’s going on?”
“I don’t know, you tell me,” she countered.
He continued to study her. “I don’t know what you mean, Ava. I just want to hold you. I’ve missed you.”
Her heart softened. “I’ve missed you too. So much. But Gabe… You look like hell.”
His expression didn’t change, but after making eye contact for a few seconds, he looked at the floor. “I’m tired, yeah. I was working all day, and I missed you… And now I just want to go to bed. With you.”
“I understand, but I also know you haven’t been sleeping.”
He barely shrugged. “What’s new? No, I haven’t been sleeping. But I feel better now that you’re here. Ava, I just…” He sighed. “I just need to hold you.”
“And I need that too, but you need to promise me something first.”
His eyebrows came together slightly. Obviously Gabe didn’t like being cornered like that, and she was sure he knew she was going to manipulate him somehow.
“Depends,” he replied evenly.
She took his hand in hers and studied it closely. His hands were big, and rough, and they showed the signs of combat and hard work. He had scars on them, old and new, and she knew they’d done things he didn’t want to remember. She held it to her lips, knowing that he hated that. He sometimes went through moments where he felt guilty even touching her. He told her she was pure and angelic, and that his hands had been fully immersed in the depths of hell. It bothered her—that he was haunted with not only the nightmares he had, but the belief that he didn’t deserve to be happy.
“I want to climb into bed with you, hold you, kiss you, make love to you…”
He waited for the rest of it cautiously. “But?”
“But you need to promise that you’ll take something for sleep right afterwards.”
“No,” he answered right away. He stood up from the couch. “Quit doing stuff like that, Ava. It pisses me off.”
“I know it does,” she said quietly. She felt bad, but she really believed she was justified.
He sighed heavily. “I know you’re worried,” he said, “but I can’t just relax like that. I have to— Shit, you don’t understand.”
“You have to be ready for anything? Gabe, nothing’s going to happen if you sleep for a night. I’ll be here. If anything seems weird, I’ll wake you up. I promise. One night. We’ll lock the doors, shut the curtains, I’ll booby-trap the doorknobs with cans…”
He rolled his eyes but smiled. “You know, you think you’re joking, sweetheart, but…”
She felt a twinge of shame and bit her lip. “I’m sorry.”
“No, don’t be. I just… I come from a different world, Ava. You have no idea the situations I’ve been in and the things I’ve had to make or use out of whatever we had. Whatever means necessary.”
“I would know if you’d tell me stuff like that.”
It was a moot point. He wasn’t going to. He took a deep breath and said, “Well, I’m heading to the bedroom if you want to join me. Lock up behind you.”
She was pissed and amused at the same time as she watched him leave the room. Yeah, she believed he was going to get in bed. But she also knew he was going to work his magic on her and she was going to be putty in his hands. Then he’d wait for her to fall asleep, get up and check the house a few times, possibly pace in the room for a while, and then lay back down to watch her sleep.
Bullshit. Two could play that game.
She left the cabin. And being that she wasn’t quiet about it, he was out the door right behind her.
“Where are you going?” he asked.
“I’m going to bed.”
Only the crunching of the gravel sounded beneath them. Finally he said, “Ava, stop.”
She did and she turned around. “I’m not kidding, Gabe. I want to sleep with you. Actual sleep—both of us in a bed, both of us asleep. If you can’t do that for me, if I have to worry because you won’t take a damn sleeping pill—”
“Fine, I’ll do it,” he growled. “If yanking me out of my comfort zone is that important to you, I’ll take a fucking pill.”
She ignored the harshness of his words. “You need to start sleeping, Gabe.”
“I’ll take the pill,” he said, forcing a smile to be compliant.
She narrowed her eyes at him. “Why?”
“Why?” he chuckled. “You just fucking forced my hand, Ava. What choice do I have? You’re my girl and I need to be with you. You obviously understand a man’s basic needs or you wouldn’t have used it against me.”
“That’s not fair,” she sighed. “It’s not like I did it maliciously.”
“Oh?”
He had a smirk on his face and she glared at him. “So you don’t believe I want what’s best for you?”
“I don’t think you quite understand what you’re asking of me.”
“To let down your guard?”
“To change my entire makeup, Ava. To totally reprogram my brain.”
“Well you’re not going to have a working brain if you keep this up any longer. You need to sleep, Gabe. You’re depriving your mind and your body of important—”
He grabbed her hand and led her back to the cabin, all the way to the bathroom. He grabbed a pill bottle, twisted it open, and popped one into his mouth. He swallowed it entirely, showing her every detail of the inside of his mouth so she was sure he took it. Then he stuck his face to the faucet and gulped down a drink of water.
He hastily brushed his teeth and then left her in the bathroom without a word, so she turned around to watch him drop himself onto the bed, hands behind his head. “You coming to bed, baby?”
She was pissed but also hurt. How could he be such a jerk when she was trying to help him? Maybe she really didn’t understand. Maybe she was pushing him too soon.
She decided to let it go. She brushed her teeth as well, let her hair down and ran a brush through it, and then joined him in the bedroom. She slipped off her sandals and shorts and took off her bra. Gabe liked her in just a skimpy tank top and underwear, so she knew he approved. She climbed onto the bed but she could tell he wasn’t happy. Knowing him, he was feeling guilty for the ill vibes in the room.
“Ava, don’t,” he told her when she went to kiss him. “Not like this.”
She didn’t even know how to reply. He was either upset that he had to give in to her, or he was bothered that she was still willing to have sex with him after all of that.
She sat on her knees and faced him. “It wasn’t supposed to be like this,” she said quietly. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think it through.” He was mad at her and it felt horrible. She didn’t know what else to say to him but tears came to her eyes.
She felt like a wicked bitch.
She was quick to drop to her side facing away from him. She worked her way into the covers and made sure she didn’t make a sound after she turned off the lamp. When almost a minute had passed, he moved. He slid into the covers too, but he also pulled himself close to her. With an arm wrapped around her he whispered, “I’m sorry, too. Goodnight, Ava.”
And he kissed her on the shoulder.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Gabe was up before her. Big surprise. She rolled over on an empty bed and took her time opening her eyes. When she realized he wasn’t there, she shifted her gaze to see him in the chair in the corner. The room was still fairly dark so she knew it was early morning.
She peered at the clock. 4:53.
“How long you been awake?” she asked sleepily. She turned onto her elbow so she could see him better.
He barely shrugged. “Not long.”
Right. She would bet anything that he hadn’t even slept. She would also bet that he was strong enough to fight off the effects of a sleeping pill if he put his mind to it. But she didn’t want to go there again so she smiled and rubbed the space next to her. “Wanna warm me up?”
He stood and came to the bed. “You’re cold?”
She wasn’t but didn’t answer because he climbed into bed behind her, pulling her close. But feeling his body against her created heat that she didn’t know she needed. Not physical heat, but emotional comfort. It felt good to be held by him.
He kissed her along her jaw. “You’re beautiful when you wake up,” he murmured.