by Brey Willows
Dani held up her hands placatingly. “No! I wouldn’t do that. I just…well, I can read you pretty well, you know? After all these years, I’ve learned what your expressions mean. Not that you’ve ever hidden them very well.”
As quickly as she’d gotten pissed off, she was calm again. “Sorry. Of course you wouldn’t do that.” She squeezed Dani’s hand and quickly let go, though the desire to hold on to it was strong. There was also a strange new energy around Dani that Meg could feel every time she touched her, but since Dani hadn’t said anything yet, she didn’t bring it up. “I have an idea. Let’s pretend we don’t know one another at all. Like this is the first time we’ve met, and we’re doing that super awkward getting-to-know-you thing.”
Dani laughed. “Weird, but okay. Where do I start?”
Meg motioned around them. “What did you think about the first day you took over as Head Death?”
“That was a long time ago. Let’s see…I remember feeling small. I’d been the second in command for ages, and in training for a long time before that. But the moment I knew it was all up to me, I felt like a speck in the universe, and I wasn’t sure I was up to it.” She looked at Meg. “Did you always know what you were going to be?”
Meg smiled at the memory of her childhood. “Not at first. We were just normal kids. I mean, we were kids with wings and pet snakes who lived as part of our bodies, granted, but still. We played, and tested our wings, and fought. It was only when we got older that our mother sat us down and explained why we’d been brought into the world. It was a head fuck, I can tell you that. One day we’re messing with geese in the sky, the next we’re in charge of punishing humanity when they’re naughty. I think I get what you mean about feeling too small for the job.”
Dani pointed to a large building on the left. “Sorry to interrupt. You said you wanted to know about the area. That’s the centrifugal fork. It has a door that leads to each of the primary religion’s main offices.”
“I thought you just waved your hands and created roads where you wanted to go?”
“Not exactly. The road network is constantly changing. As the head of the department, I’m in charge of creating new links to the places where needed and removing any roads that are no longer necessary. Once a road is created, like the one you took to Afterlife the other day, it will always be available, but it might not always be visible. It’s only if we’re certain we won’t need a road any longer that we remove it from the network.” Dani looked proud as she motioned around them. “You can’t see them, but there are thousands of roads available to most everywhere on earth, anywhere the Sundo might have to go harvest a soul.”
“So why the shiny building?”
“Right. It made more sense to have a direct link to the big religions. We take the roads to where we’re picking up souls. Then we can come back here, go straight to the fork, and right to the department we need. It takes away some of the hassle. Plus, if any of the department heads want to come talk to us, they can use the fork to get here.”
Meg looked at Dani, surprised. “The department heads come to you?”
She looked a little embarrassed. “Sometimes. When they’ve got questions about numbers or rituals. My crew has a wealth of information from being among people when they die.”
“But you’re like us, right? You’re in charge of a specific area, and there are people like you doing the same job somewhere else?” Meg had no idea she knew so little about the realm between, and the new knowledge was like going on a treasure hunt.
“Not exactly, no. I am Death. There’s no one above me. I’ve got department managers all over the world, and they run their own sections and crews. But they all report back to me.”
Meg thought about what that meant. The concept was staggering. “That’s…that makes you responsible for every human being on the planet. All seven-odd billion of them.”
Dani nodded, looking serious. “That’s me.”
“Christ on a stick. And I thought I was overworked. Now I feel like a whiny child.” She said it lightly, but it was true. Dani managed to be humble and kind, when she probably had more right to ego and power trips than any other god in existence.
“Well, I have a lot of help. It’s not like I do it all myself. I used to do a lot more, but I’ve got better at recruiting Sundo to help.”
“How do you find your death minions? And why do you call them Sundo? And what about the animals? Do you deal with those too?” Meg wasn’t paying any attention to where she was going. She turned right, then left, then went forward for a while. She passed housing tracts of lots of similar houses and went down streets with more individual cabins.
“Sundo is an ancient word for death, and all the death workers are referred to as Sundo. Keeps it simple. And they find me, generally. Some of them are the children of parents who have been on crew. Some are low-level employees from other religious departments who want a change of scenery or who just like to travel. It’s a great way to see the world. And no, I don’t deal in animals. Their souls don’t believe in an afterlife, so they’re like atheists. Their energy simply returns to the planet.” She paused, thinking about it. “Unless they’re from a religion that believes in reincarnation, and the soul of that animal was once human. Then crew from that religion deal with that animal’s soul, returning it to the afterlife center it came from so it can continue on its journey.” She laughed lightly. “I’ve never really explained it before. It’s all pretty strategic.”
“You sound like an ad for some kind of travel-military crossbreed.” They drove down a tree-lined street with enormous houses. “Who lives here?”
“Managers for this region, mostly. We have pay scales a lot like the human world. There aren’t any poor here, but crew can rise through the ranks and get better pay grades. Obviously, it takes a little longer in a realm without true time.”
“You have your own money?”
Dani reached into her jeans pocket and pulled out a coin. It was a silver hexagonal piece with a skull on one side and a boat on the other. “Death and crossing.” She put it in Meg’s glovebox and then tapped the clock on the dashboard. “As much as I love this, we should probably get to Selene’s.”
“Shit. I wasn’t paying attention. Which way?”
Dani opened a portal ahead. “Head that way. It will let us out at the base of the mountain she lives on.”
Meg floored it. She liked being fashionably late to a big gathering, but when it was a small one, it felt rude. “Why not just open it into her driveway?”
“Because I can’t always be sure what’s changed in a small location. I can let us out onto a main road because it’s not likely to have changed much, and I can tell where the big movement is. But I could bring us out into Selene’s driveway only to find someone standing right where we come out. The same can happen when it comes to weather. Her area floods and gets snow, so it’s better to give some leeway in case that kind of thing happens.”
Meg loved listening to Dani talk. She was quietly certain, intelligent but simply spoken. Conversation with her was easy and interesting. It was sexy too, but she shoved that thought away. “Makes sense.” She came out of the portal onto Highway 15 and turned left off the off-ramp into the San Gabriel Mountains. The winding path up Lone Pine Canyon was covered with flowering yuccas, their white blooms like suspended spring snow against the desert scrub. Within minutes, they were driving through the pine forest, and it felt like the regular world was far below. She navigated the narrow roads to Selene’s, wondering what Dani was thinking. But all the information Dani had given her made her feel a little less-than. All these years, she’d just been Dani, Death personified. She was their quiet, unassuming friend that other people couldn’t always handle being around. But she was much more than that, and Meg wondered how she’d missed it all these years.
Alec’s Hummer was parked on the street outside Selene’s cabin, and Tis’s SUV was in the driveway. Meg parked behind the SUV, but before she got out, Dani stopped
her.
“Thanks.”
Meg frowned, confused. “For what?”
“For listening. For wanting to know. For asking questions.” Dani shrugged and gave her a shy smile. “It’s really nice to have someone interested.”
Dani’s vulnerability and gentleness made Meg’s heart ache. She leaned across and kissed her cheek. “I fully intend to do it more often.” She opened her door and grinned. “But for now, I want to eat and get drunk, and not necessarily in that order.”
Dani laughed and followed Meg to the front door.
Alec opened it before Meg knocked and pulled her into a tight hug. “About time. We’re dying of dehydration in here.” She took Meg’s keys and headed to her car. “I’ll grab the drinks. Go on in.”
There were hugs and teasing all around when they went in, and Meg was glad to see Dani seemed relaxed. She’d always loved Selene’s cozy cabin in the woods and was glad she and Alec had decided to keep it as a getaway home. The smell of spicy food hit her, and her stomach growled in response. “Oh my gods, that smells amazing. Please tell me it’s nearly ready.”
Kera tasted something out of a pot and nodded. “Just about.”
Dani set her foil-topped pan on the counter. “For later.”
Kera peeked under the foil. “That’s awesome. Brownies from Death. No one believes me when I tell these stories.”
Dani blushed and took the proffered beer from Kera, and Meg smiled at how gorgeous and mellow she looked. She looked away when Tis tugged on her hair.
“You look like you’ve got something, or someone, very specific on your mind.” Tis tilted her head toward Dani and gave her a mischievous grin.
“I’ve got a lot on my mind, thank you very much. The first thing being why I don’t already have alcohol sliding down my throat.” She knew her tone was sharper than she intended, but she couldn’t help it. Apparently, Dani had become a sore spot.
“Spoken like someone in proper denial.” Tis poured her a glass of wine and handed it to her. “But I’ll stay out of it for now.”
Kera started serving dinner, and they settled into various couches and chairs around the living room. Meg found she was slightly disappointed when Dani sat across the room rather than next to her, but she drowned the feeling in merlot.
Conversation was easy and flowing, and Kera’s cooking was delicious. As if by pact, everyone avoided talking about work, and Meg was light-headed with relief for the respite. She had to force herself not to stare at Dani, but that meant she was focused on the others, and as the night went on, that didn’t help either.
Tis sat curled up on the couch next to Kera, whose arm rested along Tis’s shoulders, holding her close. Selene reclined between Alec’s legs as they relaxed in front of the fire. They were all so happy, so in love. So not alone. In her wine-soaked state of mind, emotions she’d never felt, or at least never acknowledged, began to well up inside her. This wasn’t one of her parties, where it was a free-for-all of sex, drugs, and alcohol fueled competitions of power. This was…real. It was deeper. It had meaning. I want meaning too. I want real. She wanted to cry, but instead, she set her wine glass down and crawled across the room, unable to stand since the earth was spinning faster than usual. She made it to Dani and drew her knees to her chest as she rested her head on Dani’s thigh. When Dani began to stroke her hair, she sighed contentedly. Just for tonight.
Chapter Eight
Dis stared out the window at the Pacific Ocean, glittering as it swept into and away from Santa Monica Pier. They think it’s so big. They have no idea how small they are. They were microbes compared to other planets with life, but for them, living their short lives on the blue planet, it was everything. Such strange complexity for so little time. They fill every moment and spend more time worrying about things than actually doing them. So easy to manipulate.
“Lunch?” Clotho emerged from her office and gave Dis a perfunctory nod.
“Why?”
“Because it’s an interesting social aspect of life. And it’s often tasty.” Lachesis closed the door to her office, where graphs and charts covered the walls.
“But it’s just so…human. Surely to rule over them you don’t need to behave like them.”
“There are advantages to living among them instead of beyond them. Food is one of them. But feel free to go to your own home if you don’t want to join us.” Clotho waved toward the door at the end of the hall that led to Dis’s domain in the cosmos.
She sighed. “Fine.” She followed them down a maze of stairwells and hallways until they emerged in a comfortable room with deep chairs and luxurious table setups. She could hear the cacophony of others dining but couldn’t see them.
Lachesis twitched a heavy curtain aside, allowing Dis to see they were on a balcony of sorts above the regular café area. “When much of your job affects beings with big egos and a lot to lose, you’re not usually welcome company. As I’m sure you know.”
Dis was well aware she was generally disliked by the few she’d met since she’d come back. Some of the older gods remembered her from times long past and weren’t big fans either. “No, I don’t imagine you are.”
Lachesis dropped the curtain, and they sat down. “Atropos won’t be joining us. All your little tricks have knotted the threads, and she’s trying to figure out whose lives you cut shorter than they should have been.” She shook her finger at Dis like she was a naughty child. “No one but us should be cutting threads.”
Dis shrugged, unconcerned. “I didn’t cut them. I just mixed things up a little. You had to know when I came back there would be issues for the three of you.”
The server dropped a jug of water and then tripped over the chair behind her. Clotho threw a bread roll at Dis. “Rein it in, at least while you’re here.”
Dis sighed and pulled her power more tightly to her. The server visibly relaxed and managed to put the soup bowls on the table without spilling any.
“That’s true. We calculated for the basic level of disruption you cause.” Clotho sipped at her soup, not bothering to look up. “What we didn’t plan on was you actively meddling in human lives and making things worse than they need to be.”
Dis tried the soup and found it pleasant enough. “They’ve overrun the planet. It’s not as though losing some will do any lasting damage. Dust to dust and all that.”
Clotho set her spoon down and leaned forward. Dis felt the ancient woman’s power like a blanket pressed against her face, smothering her.
“Don’t forget who we are, Chaos. You are unquestionably powerful, but you have your limitations. Stop pushing, or we’ll send you back.”
They ate the rest of their meal, though Dis’s anger radiated through her like a supernova about to explode. How dare they threaten me? Who do they think they are? Little godlings who are only here because humans exist. I’m beyond time. Beyond space. Beyond them. The soup tasted like bile in her mouth now, and she shoved it away. If they think I’ve been pushing before, they’re about to see what I can really do. Let them try to send me back. She’d been content to play, to see what levels she could get away with. Now she wanted to burn the world and all the beings with it to the ground. When the two old women got up to head back to their office, she made sure she was behind them. She pulled open the curtain and looked down at the array of gods and creatures beneath her, all there to serve humanity. Let’s make you figures of power again, shall we? She waved her hand over them, letting her special brand of disorder fall like star dust. She let the curtain fall and followed the old women back upstairs. Let’s see how you handle this, little godlings.
* * *
The woman made it onto the fury’s punishment list when she’d killed her children. All seven of them lay in a long, creepy row in the living room. Meg stepped into the room and winced. Well, that’s messed up. Their mother sat in a recliner, sipping a mug of something, staring at them as though they were a mildly interesting TV program. Meg had seen it before. Parents and children had been k
illing one another since they’d started developing family units. But scenes like this one always made her want a shower after.
She opened her wings and allowed her fangs to extend. She appeared in front of the woman and stared down at her.
Instead of the usual screaming and pleading, though, the woman simply looked at her over the rim of her mug, much like she’d been looking at her children.
“Do you want to know why?”
“Because you were tired of doing laundry? Or having to cook enormous meals?” Meg hardly ever spoke to the people she was going to deliver to, but something about this situation called for more than the usual response.
The woman smiled slightly and looked back at the children. “Because the world has gone crazy. The gods are here, but they’ve brought terrible evil with them. And that evil is going to grow and consume everything it can. I couldn’t let them live in a world that’s going to die, so I sent them to Heaven.” She set down her mug and looked at Meg. “I don’t regret it. Do what you will.”
For the first time in centuries, Meg hesitated. This is why I don’t talk to them beforehand. She opened her hands and let her mist come. It slid over the woman’s skin, into her eyes and ears, and then into her mouth when she gasped.
Meg pulled it back and turned away when the woman curled into a ball and started to weep. Startled, she nearly tripped over a little body on the rug when she saw Dani in the doorway. In her ceremonial cloak and holding her enormous scythe, she really was the sexiest thing Meg had ever seen. She was also emanating power, something Meg had never seen before. Or maybe I’m just more aware of her than I’ve ever been.
“Hey.”
“Hey. Another fun day in paradise.” Meg tried to sound light-hearted, but she had a feeling Dani would see through it. “All yours.”
Dani touched her arm as she tried to walk past. “Is everything okay? I haven’t seen you much since the party.”
Meg moved to put some physical distance between them. Being close to Dani was too hard. It made her think of the party at Selene’s and how lonely she’d felt that night, and every night since. “Totally fine. Just busy with work, you know? And Az is keeping me busy with the Hell makeover.” The truth was far more irritating than that. She wanted to be around Dani. She missed her friendship and how calm she felt around her. And she missed her sisters. But all of them served to make her feel out of place and out of sorts. She wanted something she knew she didn’t actually want, and she couldn’t figure out why she thought she wanted it. It was something more than the loose, relaxed life she’d built for herself. But instead of trying to figure it out, she did what she’d always done when things got too heavy. She drowned her thoughts in alcohol, fed them drugs, and fucked them away. It had always worked before.