by Brey Willows
“It’s totally possible. I mean, if Satan can do it, you can, right? We’ll just have to work out the logistics.”
Dani smiled at Carlos as he refilled their coffee cups and left. He always seemed to know when conversation was wanted and when it wasn’t. Perhaps that’s the old god in him. “Here’s the thing, though.” She shook her head when Meg offered her a bite of waffle. “I don’t want gaudy. Moving souls is a huge responsibility, and I don’t want it to feel like less of an honor than it is. If it means negating that in any way, then I’d rather not do it.”
Meg pushed her empty plates away and sighed contentedly. “Obviously. You think I don’t know you well enough to know you’d hate having a neon emblazoned Hummer blaring rap music to pick up souls in? Although it would be hilarious to see you in a Hawaiian shirt.”
“Never going to happen. Where do you put all the food you eat?”
“I have no idea. I’ve always loved food, and I’m eternally grateful I can’t get fat.”
Carlos came over and stacked the plates. “I knew you’d enjoy that.”
Meg touched his hand, and he stopped to look at her. “It was wonderful, thank you. And thanks for not asking me to leave.”
He covered her hand with his, and Dani saw the old god light in his eyes, something the ancients never seemed to lose.
“You did what was necessary, red one. When it comes down to it, that’s what we all do when the time comes.” He leaned closer. “But we have to be strong enough to see exactly what is necessary.” He let go of her hand, and the moment lightened. “Can I get you anything else?”
Meg was looking at him thoughtfully, so Dani answered. “I think we’re good. Just the bill, please.”
He shook his head. “No bill today, gorgeous. When old friends come by, it’s a celebration, not business.” He put his hand over his heart. “Just promise to come back.”
Meg smiled. “Are you kidding? I want to try everything on the menu.”
“And I’ll be happy to cook it for you.” He gathered the plates and said over his shoulder as he walked away, “See you soon.”
Dani followed Meg out into the sunshine. “Thanks for coming with me. Sorry it got a bit weird.”
“Who knew pre-faders were everywhere, right?” Meg got in the car and turned the radio on.
They drove in silence back toward Afterlife. Dani could practically feel the whirlwind of thoughts in Meg’s head but wasn’t sure if she had the right to ask. If you’re really a friend, then you should. “What’re you thinking about?”
Meg sighed heavily. “So many things I don’t know where one thought ends and the next begins.”
“Anything I can help with?”
Meg was quiet for so long Dani wasn’t sure she was going to answer.
“Honestly? You coming over today was probably exactly what I needed, even if I felt like hell when you came in. I feel lost. Like there’s this hole inside me, and no matter what I put in it, it just drops straight through, leaving the hole just a little bit bigger.”
She sounded so sad Dani ached to put her arms around her. She settled for reaching over and holding her hand. “Maybe you’re trying to fill the hole with the wrong things.”
Meg grinned slightly. “It sounds dirty when you say it.”
Dani felt herself flush. “Definitely not what I meant.”
Meg rested her head against the seat and closed her eyes. “I know what you meant. I just need to figure out what I want, I guess.”
Dani’s heart raced slightly at the thought, but she quickly stopped it. Don’t be an ass. “Your sisters are worried about you. So am I.”
Meg squeezed Dani’s hand and let it go. Dani pulled it back reluctantly.
“I know. Thanks. It’s like Carlos said, right? We do what’s necessary, eventually.”
Dani pulled into the Afterlife campus and went to Meg’s. Once in the driveway, she decided to say what needed to be said. “You know the story Carlos told about you and your sisters dealing with an out-of-control god?”
Meg turned to look at her. “Yeah?”
“Who deals with an out-of-control fury?” Dani said it softly, a gentle question rather than a judgment, and hoped Meg would take it that way.
Meg’s shoulders slumped and tears welled in her eyes. “I don’t know,” she whispered.
“Maybe we should fix things before we find out?” Dani gently wiped away a tear sliding down Meg’s cheek.
“Probably a good idea.” Meg got out of the car and paused. “Thank you again for breakfast. And for being a true friend.” She looked away, staring into the distance. “I have a lot to think about. Can I call you tomorrow?”
“Call me whenever you want to. Even if you just want someone to sit with. I’m here, okay?” Dani really didn’t want to leave, but she also needed to respect Meg’s desire to be alone.
“Thanks, Dani. Really.” Meg turned and headed into her house.
Dani pulled away. She needed to focus on work for a while. She could only hope Meg would be okay on her own. I’m worrying about a fury. Like she needs someone like me looking after her. She tried to quell the unease she felt and headed back to work.
Chapter Nine
Meg stared out the window at the other houses on campus. She’d chosen to live on the Afterlife grounds because she liked being surrounded with others of her kind, but now it felt claustrophobic. She had a horde of people over every night. Most she knew, some she didn’t. The past two weeks since Selene’s dinner were a blur. She remembered making a pass at Dani. She also remembered Dani turning her down and the horrible disappointment she’d felt at her refusal. The self-reprisals and desire to feel wanted had fired her desire to party even harder than usual. And she did. She had a vague sense of naked bodies in her bed, various sizes and colors, but didn’t remember much else. She wasn’t even sure she’d been in bed with them or had just watched from the sidelines. What she did know was that Dani was never far from her thoughts, particularly when she was in the throes of an orgasm. Beautiful Death had become the primary figure in her fantasies.
And then there she was, coffee in hand, gently pulling Meg from her self-destructive tornado and back into the world. Meg wasn’t fooled by Dani’s request for help, though she didn’t doubt that there was truth to it. Dani was too honest to outright fib. She picked up the phone but realized with dismal clarity that there was no one to call. The people she’d surrounded herself with weren’t friends or confidants. Dani and her sisters were her only truly close friends, and she certainly couldn’t talk to Dani about her issues with Dani.
She hit number two on her speed dial. “Why didn’t you come check on me?” she said when Tis answered the phone.
“Because you were wallowing, and when you’re wallowing, it’s best to leave you alone with your filthy mind and dirty orgies. It’s when you stop being insane that we worry about you most.”
“Fair enough. Are you free?”
“Sorry, Sis. I’m on my way to a meeting at the office. But I bet Kera would love a reason to escape. Would she do?”
Meg thought about it. She hadn’t had any alone time with Kera, but her reputation prior to Tis suggested she might understand what Meg was going through. “Yeah, actually, she might.”
“Excellent. I’ll tell her to pop by your place in about half an hour. And, Meg?”
“What, pale face?”
“We love you. If we thought you were in real trouble, we would have come. You know that, right?”
“Of course I do. Thanks for giving me space.” The heavy hand of disillusionment pressing on Meg’s soul began to ease off. I’m so fucking lucky to have sisters.
“Anytime, fang face. See you later.”
“Wait. One more thing. I went to a case the other day. Another weird one, not that that’s anything new these days. I wish we could get sexy cases, you know? Like people fucking each other to death in bizarre ways, or—”
“Meg, honey, I have a meeting to get to.”
“Right, sorry. It was this mom who had killed her kids. But she wasn’t one of our usual, you know? She did it because of the confusion caused by the cosmic shithead herself. She couldn’t live with the world being what it is. She said ‘what’s coming,’ and that was creepy, but whatever. I thought you should know. We’re heading to cases that aren’t our thing. I don’t know if you want to create some kind of super squad to deal with the headfucks caused by our nightmarish friend.” Meg blinked back tears, something she thought she’d long ago given up, but something that snuck up on her regularly these days. “It was really sad. I hated having to do anything about it.”
Tis sighed. “Thanks. That’s exactly the kind of thing we need to keep tabs on. I’ll let Kera know, and if you come across more, send the info our way.”
“Will do, pale face. Love you.”
Meg hung up feeling better than she had in weeks. You just have to do what’s necessary. She rolled her eyes. As if I know what that is.
* * *
“I had no idea furies could have so many issues. I thought you’d have those all worked out by now.” Kera peeled the label from her bottle. “I think you should get nasty. Full out down and dirty. It will either get her out of your system, or you’ll want more. Either way, it’s a win.”
“And if I get her out of my system and it ruins our friendship?” They’d been talking for hours, and Meg had finally admitted to her overwhelming attraction to Dani, which no amount of hedonism was helping cure. She also told her about her desire to be more than a party fury but that she had no clue where to begin.
“Yeah, that would be shit. Don’t do it. Ignore me.”
Meg threw a wadded-up candy wrapper at her. “Thanks. That’s helpful.”
Kera threw the wrapper back at her. “Meg, you’re hot. You’re also slightly crazy, which makes you even hotter. Scarier too. You could have, and if reputation serves, you have had, anyone you want. But you don’t want just anyone. You want one of the few people in existence more powerful than you. Which is cool, I get that. Power is sexy. And Dani has that whole too-sexy-for-life thing going on. Like a Calvin Klein ad, but with Death instead of some crack-skinny supermodel.” She nodded as though wise. “The question is, does she want you?”
Meg groaned. “Pretty sure she doesn’t.”
“What makes you say that?”
Meg closed her eyes, unable to look at Kera and admit it. “I made a pass at her after Selene’s party. She turned me down flat.”
Kera started laughing and had to set her beer down so she didn’t spill it. “The night you couldn’t even stand upright on your own? When you fell asleep mid-conversation and answered the question someone asked you ten minutes earlier when you woke up?”
“Gods. Was I that gone?”
Kera picked her beer up and settled back on the couch. “If you have to ask, that’s your answer. Have you ever tried to have sex when you’re that wasted? I can tell you from experience, it’s not pretty. It’s not sexy. Hell, it’s not even good. It’s all fumbling and alcohol burps. I wouldn’t base your perception of her interest in you on that night.”
Meg was crazy glad Tis had suggested Kera. Maybe she knew this was more of what I needed. Thank the gods for my sisters. “So you think I should try again?”
“If you’re this worked up over her, yeah. But do it when you’ve still got verbal capability and don’t smell like the bottom of a box of wine.” Kera’s expression turned serious. “But really, yeah, you have to be prepared for it to go tits up. You could go for it, and it could be a teenage-fumbling-in-the-dark disaster. And then you could end up not talking for a while. I say a while, because in your world, never doesn’t seem like a real thing. Especially when you have to work together. Shit, that’s another thing, isn’t it? You have to see each other for work a lot.” She popped the top on another beer. “Yeah, it could be a fuckfest all right.”
“You know, I really like you, but you’re absolutely no help at all.” Meg smiled and tapped her beer bottle to Kera’s.
“I’m shit at helping with matters of the heart. Tis would have told you that, if you’d told her that part.” She pointed at Meg. “But I can totally help with the other part. That’s something I’m good at.”
“I don’t think Tis would go for a threesome.” Meg grinned, knowing full well it wasn’t what Kera meant.
“Ew. No offense, but the sister thing never did it for me. And Tis keeps me well sated. Not to mention I’d never piss off someone who can poof me into the kind of meat-puddle I saw when that bastard kidnapped me.” She made a poof motion with one hand and took a long swig of beer. “I mean the bit where you’re at loose ends. That, I totally understand.”
“You do? Because I don’t. I’m a fury. I do what furies do. And I have fun. Why doesn’t that feel like enough anymore?” Meg got up and rummaged through her cupboards. “Want some popcorn?”
“By the gods, woman. Do you ever stop eating?”
“It makes me feel better.”
“Yeah, well, remember those of us who can gain weight, would you? Bring it over. I like extra salt.”
The tension Meg had been holding in her shoulders had dissolved rapidly once she’d started talking to Kera. It had been a little weird and awkward at first, but after the first beer, they’d settled into conversation like old friends. It was strange, talking to someone she wasn’t related to, didn’t want to sleep with, and who didn’t want anything from her, either. An actual friend. Who knew?
She brought over the bowl of popcorn and set a pair of fresh beers on the table. “So, you were saying you understand the other problem of my life, even though I don’t?”
“Recap it for me so I’m sure I have all the facts.” Kera popped a big handful of popcorn in her mouth.
“Okay. Well, I’m bored, I guess. Alec is Miss ‘I saved the world and fell in love with the Bridge,’ and Tis is Miss ‘Keep-it-legal-or-I’ll-kill-you-all.’ And they’ve got you and Selene, who are all-powerful humans changing the world in big ways. I, on the other hand, throw amazing parties and get too drunk to have sex.”
“Do you like being a fury?” Kera asked.
“That’s like asking you if you like being human or female.”
“No, it’s not. I can’t change being human, but I could change being female if it wasn’t how I identified.”
“Well, I can’t change being a fury any more than you could change being human.” Feeling petulant all of a sudden, Meg stuck her tongue out at Kera.
Kera laughed. “Crazy. Okay. We’ll use fury as a job title instead of a state of being, the way I’m a badass boss who tells gods what to do. Do you still like going out and giving the bad guys the brain melting they deserve?” Kera held up her hand. “Wait. Don’t answer right away. Think about it.”
Meg stopped her initial answer and really did think about it. Instead of going with the answer she expected, she looked into her heart. “Yes. I still love what I do. I still believe in it too. But the world is more complicated now. It used to be really black and white, mostly. Now there are all kinds of deep questions and issues. I feel like I want to be more than just a fury. Like there’s something more for me out there.”
“Exactly what I thought you’d say.” Kera pushed the popcorn bowl at Meg. “Take this away from me. I can’t stop eating it.”
“You’re supposed to eat food when it’s there.” Meg ate a handful and then picked the fallen ones off her shirt.
“What do you enjoy doing? Aside from having copious amounts of sex with a lot of people and drinking like a whale? Both of which I applaud heartily, may I add.”
“Helping people?”
“Is that a question? Because I don’t know the answer.”
“Jackass. I like helping people. Like when Azrael asked for help redesigning hell.”
“Keep going.” Kera motioned with her beer, some spilling out.
“I feel like you’re a shrink. A really bad, drunk one.”
“I’m the best the
re is, at pretty much everything except being tactful, humble, or immortal. Keep going.”
“Fine. I like the logistics of helping people. Thinking of ways around their problems. I like turning things upside down and looking at them in a new light.”
Kera tipped her bottle at Meg. “Exactly.”
“Exactly what?” Meg threw a handful of popcorn at Kera.
“Design and logistics. There’s a whole building full of gods behind me who don’t know their ass from a mirror. And yet they want to reinvent themselves, even though they haven’t the faintest clue on how to do that, because they don’t really know who they are to other people. What do you think, Sherlock?”
“Interior design. That’s your answer?”
Kera shrugged. “I don’t have any answers. I’m here because my terrifying girlfriend said her sister needed someone to talk to.” She grinned to show she was kidding. “But I’m fucking good at business, and I’ve always said you have to do what you enjoy in order to be happy or good at it. You’re already a fury, and it’s not like that doesn’t keep you fairly busy. Maybe helping the gods with their redesigns and images would give you something interesting to focus on until you figure out who you want to be when you grow up. Because apparently, three thousand years isn’t enough, which I have to say, is pretty fucking disheartening for my puny mortal self.” She stood up and swayed. “I need to pee. You’d think I’d have learned by now not to try keeping up with a fury when they’re drinking.” She staggered off to the bathroom.
Meg stared at the condensation on her bottle, thinking about what Kera had said. The more she thought about the possibilities, the more excited she became. First Azrael’s place, then the Deadlands, which would give her more time with Dani. There were six major religious zones, all of them broken down into further sectors. From Afterlife, Meg could help every sector. She didn’t need to wait for them to come to her, either. There was no reason she couldn’t go talk to the department heads and get actively involved. Kera came out of the bathroom looking extremely unsteady and an unnaturally green shade for a human. Meg jumped off the couch and gave her a huge hug. “Tis is going to kill me for getting you drunk, but I don’t care. You’re the best jackass shrink I know.”