I set my big suitcase on the floor and took it in. King sized bed, big window overlooking the woods, private bathroom, wood everything. Who was this man? Fighting the urge to gape at him and his cabin, I shifted awkwardly on my feet.
“If you need anything, I'll be downstairs in my office. You should be able to find it. Just knock first,” Vic said to my back.
I turned to him, folding my arms across my chest. “Like you knocked with me?”
He smiled broadly and nodded. “Like I knocked with you.” Vic practically skipped out of the room, leaving me in his cabin. In this opulent room. In the middle of the woods. Alone.
There was a forest outside the cabin. As twilight approached, I decided to go for a walk. There was a trail that led through the thick trees and flora. Surprisingly, I didn’t sense many animals nearby. The whole area felt deserted and very private. As I followed the trail, I reached a series of rock formations. The sun was going to set soon, and I just knew at the top there would be a great view.
It obviously wasn't safe, but remember how I said I could be impulsive? Without much forethought, I began to climb. The rocks were steep and slick. With each rock I climbed, I felt more empowered. I was conquering the forest, conquering something. I hadn't conquered anything in quite a while.
Eventually I reached the top.
The view was spectacular. I could see beyond the trees, beyond the cabin, and into the mountains. The sun was setting, and I settled on a flat rock to watch.
Now, I was never one for sunsets. When someone said, “Look at the sunset!” I usually just glanced and said, “Yeah, that's a sunset.” This sunset, however, was magnificent.
The sky looked so fresh and clean, like a freshly painted watercolor. It was a trip watching the stars pour down from the heavens after the disappearing sun. Slowly, the orange orb fell beneath the mountains, and then dropped out of sight. Dark blue-blackness of night crept across the sky dragging behind it a blanket of a billion stars.
I felt like I had just been witness to something so special and secret.
I continued to sit there, just watching the night sky. I liked the night better than the day, even though as a child the night had haunted me. As an adult, it still haunted me, but it was quieter and less demanding than the day. By nature, night was a peaceful time; it whisked away worry and replaced it with slumber. But when the sun came up, so did demands, chores, and jobs.
Slowly, I started to climb back down the rocks, looking one last time at the special view. As with all things, the come down was much harder than the high. The rocks were now covered with nighttime dew; I could barely see my hands, let alone what lie beneath me. I breathed heavily, wishing I'd worn shoes with more grip than my snow boots. That wish became a plea when, halfway down, my boot slipped. My hands grappled for any handhold as I fell backward. I might have screamed. I'm sure I did.
I stared up at the beautiful night sky, my head pounding and every muscle and bone in my body screaming. I lay there, feeling the hard, frozen ground under me. Staring up at the breathtaking sky, I tried to determine if the view had been worth all this pain. I never did decide.
Slowly, and against the protestations of my body, I got up. I took light steps and rolled my shoulders, feeling for breaks or sprains: nothing. I took a few deep breaths, all seemed okay. I determined I was not seriously injured, just badly bruised.
Every minute, it got darker and harder to see, harder to find my way back to the cabin. Move it, Moore. I sucked it up and walked back, grimacing as each step sent ricochets of pain through my body.
I wasn't afraid of walking alone through the forest. Yeah, it was nighttime and I had a psycho ex-boyfriend after me, but doing this didn't scare me. I had never been afraid of tangible things, like serial killers or crazed axe murderers.
When I was growing up, night terrors had haunted me. It was always the things I couldn't control that scared me. I can at least gut punch a serial killer before he guts me. I can't gut punch a phantom while I'm paralyzed with sleep.
One of the worst dreams I had as a child was a lucid dream. In it, I had been staring at my wall, only the wall was not a wall—it was made of Mickey Mouse figurines. They were grotesque and distorted, laughing and dancing and taunting me. I tried to scream for my mother, but no sound came from my throat. The wall of figurines kept closing in on me, and I couldn't move. I couldn't scream. Eventually, I woke up drenched in sweat. The dream felt like it had gone on for hours.
Other times, I would sleep but knew things were standing over my bed, leaning over me as I slept.
The night terrors only became worse as I got older. I began running from my room as things chased me in my dreams, screaming.
Luckily, I don’t have night terrors as often anymore. But now, I take pills. Lots and lots of pills.
The cabin came into view, warm and glowing. Only a couple more yards to salvation.
An arm grabbed my bruised elbow, and Vic's angry voice pierced my aching head like an ice pick. “Where the hell have you been?”
I was dragged inside and sat down like a child. Too tired to defend myself, I sunk into the couch and closed my eyes. Above the buzzing in my ears, I could faintly hear Vic berating me. Comfy couch.
“Irresponsible! I couldn’t find—. What happened to you?”
I opened my eyes to see Vic bend down in front of me, scrutinizing me like an experiment. I shook my head at his question. Ouch.
“Nothing,” I responded, my eyelids closing on their own. Falling from rocks makes you sleepy.
“Not nothing,” Vic said, grabbing my wrist to examine my arm.
I tried not to wince, but I'm sure he saw it. He mumbled to himself as he surveyed the damage. I felt a rough hand on my face, a thumb gently prying up my eyelids one at a time.
Vic sighed, “You have a concussion.”
I opened my eyes wide. There were two Vics staring at me. I rubbed my eyes to clear my vision. One Vic, better.
“Do I have to stay awake all night?” I asked, not relishing the prospect. I really was sleepy.
“No,” Vic replied, all business-like. “I'll just have to wake you up a couple of times in the night. It will be best if you sleep with me.”
I frowned. This was not how I imagined my first time sleeping with Vic. Not that I imagined it . . . Okay, of course I imagined it, but I didn't think it would ever happen. Vic was my dark fantasy that I knew would never come to pass. The idea of sleeping with him, without him, made me feel like I was trying to grasp at water.
“What’s up?” Vic asked.
“Nothing,” I said, eyes downcast. I could feel Vic's eyes but he didn't question me. A large clap resounded in the room, startling me. My eyes flashed up to Vic, just as he finished rubbing his hands together. His mouth was spread in that cocky smile I loathed and loved.
“Time for bed, Lenny,” Vic said.
I frowned again. I needed to shower and brush my teeth before I was ready for bed. Sure, I was tired and really wanted to sleep, but he didn't have the right to declare that I was ready for bed.
Before I could form my protest, I was being hoisted up and into his arms.
He lifted me up like I weighed nothing and walked with me as if I were a feather. I fought the urge to fall into his chest. He was so strong and comforting.
Finally, I was able to manage, “I need to shower.” Real sexy, Moore, alert the hunk of my potential B. O. I could feel him smile against my forehead. I almost melted.
“Do you need help?” he asked, still smiling.
I involuntarily tensed in his arms. The idea had me reeling.
“No!” I said, a little too quickly.
Vic waited outside the bathroom door as I undressed. He had insisted on coming in but I wouldn't have it. Vic tried again, saying that he wouldn't look and would just wait outside the shower. I shut the door firmly, but softly, leaving Vic on the other side.
The idea of that core-melting, hot man being my nursemaid was too mortifying. If he was go
ing to be in the shower with me, he was going to be in the shower with me, not standing outside it making sure I didn't fall over like an elderly dementia patient.
I started the shower, pushing the handle to its hottest setting. I peeled off my dirt-covered clothes and bent over to untie my miserable-excuse-for—boots. Bad idea. I was already woozy and, as the heat filled the room, my vision started to narrow.
“Lenny?” Vic called from outside the room.
Oh, spinning floor tiles. That's a cool feature!
“Lennox!”
I vaguely heard Vic calling me. I knew I was supposed to be doing something, but all I could think about was the cool, weightless feeling I was having. I wanted to explore it more. I wanted to sleep. It was getting hot and steamy in here! But why? I couldn't really see anything anymore, but that was okay. I felt good. I felt really good.
Shit. I felt bad. I felt sick all over.
Just as quickly as the amazing, weightless feeling came, it left and was replaced with cold, black lead. I needed to vomit, but I couldn't vomit up lead. I grasped for something to hold on to, I was going down.
“Jesus!” was the last thing I heard before everything went black.
I came to with Vic's massive body hovering over me. I got the feeling he'd been trying to wake me for a while, because I saw his features go from hardened to relief instantaneously. The onslaught of pain I felt was outrageous. To go from blackout sleep to this crushing pain was almost laughable. I didn't laugh though, I groaned.
“Yeah, you hit the tile pretty hard.” Vic shook his head. “Shoulda let me in the bathroom with you.”
“I'm . . . a . . . lady.” I managed that witty comeback between groans. It was too bright in here. You know how when you have a headache and the light is suddenly too yellow? That's how it was. I felt like the light was trying to burn a hole into my brain. Yellow everywhere.
“Yeah, well, not anymore.” Vic winked at me.
My jaw dropped, mortified. Of course. I had ended up in this bed somehow. It wasn't that he saw me naked, it was that he saw me naked in the most unsexy and undignified pose ever. Sprawled out on the bathroom floor. God. I closed my eyes, willing sleep or death to overcome me.
“Lennox,” Vic said, his voice stern and powerful. I wonder if he knows the effect his voice has on me. “You know I treated you like a lady.”
Ugh, so missing the point! I tried to turn my head away from him, but it was too much. I winced and groaned again.
I felt Vic's big, calloused hands on my arms. As much as I wanted to shrug them off of me, they felt so nice and warm. Comforting, even. Vic sat me up gently, pulled me into his chest, and handed me some pills from an orange bottle.
I looked up at him, then the pills in his hand, to the bottle, and back to him. “Really?” I couldn’t hide the incredulity in my voice.
“Come on, babe, you don't think I would give you something dangerous, do you?” He asked, feigning a hurt look.
“You were out for a while. Scared me. I called a doctor to come and look at you. He gave me these for the pain. Said you'd hurt for some time, but you'd be okay.”
I blinked. He called a doctor? And, who was Vic that he knew doctors that made house calls? Still, I took the pills gratefully and swallowed them with some water.
Did he just call me “babe”?
The question died in my head as Vic pulled me into his chest again, his arms strong and encompassing. Vic rubbed small circles on my back. It was such a small gesture, but it was so sweet and comforting. I could feel myself drifting to sleep, my head tucked under his chin.
Vic murmured in my ear, “Those pills will make you sleepy. You're probably starting to feel them. They work fast. Are you feeling them, Lennox?”
His voice was a little bit above a whisper and it sent shivers down my spine. “Mm-hmm.” I hummed, nestling further into Vic. He was so comfy.
I woke up dizzy and confused, with a vague memory of Vic whispering to me. You know how when you blackout and the moment you wake up feels just like the moment you faded away? I turned on my side, trying to get my eyes to focus. Everything was grey-black except for a small blue light coming from a faraway corner. My head hurt. How had I got here? Where was Vic?
I sat up. Ow! I hurt like a motherfucker, but at least I could do it. Every blood vessel in my body was pounding with the force of ocean waves.
“Ooooh.” I said out loud. I tried manually willing the roaring in my head to stop. No luck. Still, I pressed on. I needed to find Vic.
“Lennox?” The blue light was moving toward me and it had Vic's voice. “What are you doing up?”
“I had to find you,” I managed to say. The roaring was subsiding, but it was leaving me a little breathless. Boo, concussions were not fun. I was going to have to rethink my hiking strategy. Perhaps I would wear a helmet next time.
“Do you need something?” Vic asked. The blue light shut off with a faint click. A laptop.
Just you, I wanted to say, but now that I was regaining my faculties I realized how dangerously close we were to tipping the friend-scale. Was that so bad, though? Why had we erected this fence between us? Maybe it was the concussion, but I couldn’t remember why we kept dancing around the idea of “us.”
“No.” I said, because I'm a pussy. “What were you doing?”
“Getting some work done,” Vic replied, eyeing me like I was expensive china. “You sound better.”
“I feel better.” Lies upon lies upon lies! I feel like I've been crushed in a dump truck. “I think I'll go for another hike.”
“Lennox,” Vic growled. Actually growled. I could hear the timber change in his voice. It was scary, and hot.
“I'm kidding, He-Man,” I joked, trying to defuse the situation.
“You think your health is funny?” Vic was on me quicker than I could blink, biting off each word. He had me pinned to the mattress. “Do you think it's a joke to get so concussed you pass out on the bathroom floor?”
I couldn't breathe. Part of me was incredibly turned on having Vic so close to me, and the other part was just flat out in pain. As he pressed me further into the mattress, my head screamed out in mutiny. I don't know if it was the spot I hit on the tile or the spot I hit falling down the rocks, probably both, but my head was fed up with the abuse.
“Do you?” Vic spit out at me.
“I . . . uh . . .” I was seeing stars. The pain in my skull was increasing. So much for improving. My eyes were rolling around in their sockets and I forgot what I was talking about. Shit, I think I’m passing out again.
“That was incredibly stupid of you.”
“I know.”
“You could have seriously harmed her.”
“I know.”
“Someone with your training should know better.”
“I said, ‘I know.’”
“Are you sure you are capable of taking care of her? There are private facilities nearby.”
“Goddammit!”
I opened my eyes to see a blurry vision of Vic with an older man. The older man was probably in his early fifties, his temples graying around light brown hair. He wore glasses. He looks smart. The smartypants was chewing Vic out. Not many people could do that.
“She's waking up,” the older man said.
They both stared at me. I suddenly felt very exposed, or like I should do cartwheels or something. I tried to smile, but my face felt extremely tight.
The man turned back to Vic. “If you can't handle this, take her to a hospital. There's no need to play doctor if you're just going to make her worse.”
Vic folded his arms, eyes growing dark. “I won't.”
“See that you don't. If there are any problems, you have my number.” The man gave me a long calculating look then walked out the door.
It was too exhausting to keep my eyes open, so I closed them. Much better. I felt a dip in the bed and then Vic's voice was close to my ear.
“Lenny?”
I groaned in response. I wa
s really getting sick of this damsel in distress shit. The minute I got out of this ridiculous situation and my brain returned to normal size, I was going to take kickboxing lessons. Krav Maga, rock climbing, cooking classes, Muay Thai—you name it, I'm taking it.
“Lennox, I'm going to get you better.”
Yeah, sure, said the guy who put me here.
Sort of.
I mean, I put myself here and then he kind of put me back.
I opened my eyes again and whispered, “You have rage issues, Vic.”
He smiled at me and my stomach did that flip-flop thing, yet this time it might have been the nausea. “Yeah, I do.”
I struggled to sit up, ignoring the black and white spots my eyes were seeing.
“Sit down, you need to rest,” Vic said, trying to gently shove me back down.
“No.” I kept pushing my way back up, through him and the eye spots. “I'm sick of resting. I'm done with this head injury.”
“You don't get a choice,” Vic said.
“What are you going to do? Push me down again and give me another one?”
Vic immediately took his hands off me. I felt bad for a minute, but that feeling went the way of JNCO jeans. I folded my arms, refusing to lie back down. Maybe, however, I could try and ease the tension between us. “I refuse to be babied, Vic. I'm sick of being the damsel in distress.” That's putting it lightly. Having to run away from a crazy man really makes a person feel weak and out of control. I don't need to feel even more out of control.
Vic peered at me, his eyes softening. “Will you at least stay in bed?”
“Fine, but only until tomorrow.” I sighed and lay back into the pillows. “Then we have to drive back.”
Vic clearly wanted to say something. He was chewing the inside of his mouth and gazing at me with such ferocity I thought his eyes were going light on fire. Hot, black, coals set right below his eyebrows. “Alright,” he conceded.
He didn't really get a choice in the matter. I had work that needed to be done next week, so I was leaving Sunday regardless. But, I was going to let him think that he had a say. It seemed to make him happier. I preferred a happy Vic to a raging Vic.
You Own Me (Owned Book 1) Page 6