by Lazeema Haq
“That’s right. You do. And you need to protect it. So dump the bastard and I’ll delete the pics.”
“Don’t do this, Tristan. Please.”
“I don’t want to, but I will. I’ll do whatever it takes to protect you from my father.”
“You’re not doing this for me. This is about you and your disgusting need for revenge. You’re a monster, just like your mother was!”
The guilty coil in his stomach vanished, replaced with an icy-cold rage that rushed through his blood. He sat back, gauging her reaction. “You know, I was only going to leak the pictures but now I think I’ll post the video too. You remember that night, don’t you? You were so adamant about filming us fucking on your desk. Think you’ll still make partner after that gets out?”
She swallowed an audible breath, her fingers trembling. “I’ll go to the police.”
He smiled. “Go ahead. The damage will still be done.”
She stared down at the ring for the longest time. “I’ll end things when we get back to LA.”
“No. You’ll do it tomorrow.”
“You can’t be this cruel.”
“I can, Lily. You should thank Arthur for that. I am my father’s son.”
Her voice trembled with fear. “Am I supposed to be at your beck and call now? Do whatever you want whenever you want it?”
“Don’t flatter yourself, sweetheart. I’m not interested in you.” He stood up, taking out money from his wallet to throw it on the table. “You might not believe me now, Lily, but you’re going to thank me one day. I’m saving you from a life of hell.”
Her eyes glared up at him with defiance. “I wish your mother had killed you too when she offed herself.”
As much as her words stung, he knew she had every right to be angry with him. “Tomorrow, Lily. And don’t think you can play me. I’ll know if you don’t go through with it and you won’t like those consequences. I promise you that.”
As he walked away, that nauseated feeling returned to his stomach. Reaching the elevators, he pressed the button furiously. Fuck. Lily’s green eyes flashed in his brain, the fear on her face repeatedly running through his mind. He stepped inside the elevator. The phone rang again and he glanced down at the screen. Vesper. All he could think about was how horrified she’d be at what he’d threatened to do, how much she’d hate him for it, and he couldn’t bear the thought of her disgust. He hit the ignore button and turned off his phone.
Chapter Seventeen
Vesper glanced down at her watch. According to the monitors Tristan’s plane had landed half an hour ago but he had yet to make his way outside, probably because of customs. Irritated, she started pacing. After two long weeks he was finally coming home and she couldn’t wait to see him. Over the past few days she had felt his absence keenly, especially as they hadn’t talked over the phone. Instead, they had just exchanged short emails back and forth. Every time she called him he was busy, and when he did return her calls she was either at work or in class. Luckily she had his flight itinerary from an earlier email exchange and had decided to surprise him at the airport.
Finally she spotted him in the crowd, sauntering past everyone. Her heart leapt up in her chest. As much as she wanted to run and jump into his arms, she refrained herself and remained in place. Stunning in a pair of jeans and an olive green sweater, he looked like he’d stepped out of the pages of GQ magazine. Their gazes met. His striking blue eyes bore into her, and the crowd simply melted away. She gave him a hesitant smile but he didn’t return the gesture, staring back at her with a stoic expression. Chalking it up to exhaustion, she strode towards him with an eager smile. “Hey.”
At last there was a smirk. “Stalking me now?”
“Don’t get cocky. I had some time to kill and figured I’d pick you up.”
“I’m not used to you being nice.”
“Don’t worry, it won’t last.” There were so many things she wanted to say to him, and she was dying to hug him, but they were in the middle of a busy terminal and things seem to be unexpectedly strained between them. “We should get going. You look dead tired.” He didn’t move, peering at her; then, suddenly, he reached for her, cradling her face with his free hand. And just like that the awkwardness dissipated. She shifted closer to wrap her arms around him while he leaned forward, his lips grazing her temple ever so gently. They remained fixed in that position for a long time, unmoving, simply holding each other. It wasn’t until they were nudged by the crowd behind that Vesper released her grip on him. “Come on, I’ll take you home.”
He laced his fingers through hers, and they walked out of the airport hand in hand.
*****
Tristan stood by the fridge, freshly showered, observing Vesper as she hummed to herself. She was plating the Chinese take-out they had picked up on the way back to her place, oblivious to his presence. God, she was beautiful. And amazing. And so much better than he deserved. He wanted her so badly but he knew, deep down, she would hate him for what he did to Lily. Fuck. He hated himself for it, even if he did do it to protect her.
Suddenly, Vesper turned around. Her eyes languidly travelled down the length of his towel-clad body; she didn’t try to hide her arousal, and his body responded instantly to her excited stare. “Hungry?” he asked suggestively.
“Famished. You?”
He swaggered forward, coming to a stop in front of her. “Same.” As she moved to drop his towel to the ground, he closed his mouth over hers and kissed her with a desperate urgency that consumed them both.
*****
Vesper gently moved his arm from around her waist, careful not to wake Tristan up. While he slept soundly, she thought about how far their relationship had come and how patient he’d been with her, never once pushing her for more. What they shared was important to her, he was important to her, and she wanted him to know that. As if on cue he stirred, causing the picture on the nightstand to fall. She picked up the frame, taking in the smile on Latoya’s face.
A part of Vesper knew she didn’t deserve to be at peace, not after what she did to her sister, but that’s exactly how she felt with Tristan in her life. No, not just at peace, but actually happy. A warm smile came to her lips. It was a strange sensation, and definitely not something she had expected to experience. With Tristan, she was able to ignore the past. Her feelings for him were so intense it drowned out the constant guilt that haunted her.
She traced his lips with a feather-light touch. If he wasn’t so exhausted from the flight, she’d wake him up and tell him she was ready to have sex with him. No, not just that. She wanted to fuck his brains out. Unfortunately, he was sound asleep and she didn’t have the heart to disturb him. Oh well. There was always tomorrow. For now, she was content to lie beside him.
*****
It was a week later and Vesper was ready to scream with frustration. There was only so much she could tolerate and she had just reached her limit. Ever since returning from England Tristan had been avoiding her, and despite his reassurances that he was just busy with work, she knew something was wrong. Of course she didn’t realise how bad things were until Jessica mentioned she’d run into him several times over the past week, hanging out in clubs (when he’d cancelled plans with her because he was “overwhelmed with work”), trashed out of his mind and behaving obnoxiously with his friends.
Seething with anger, Vesper stormed past the security personnel, towards the elevator bank. It was Tristan’s birthday today and apparently there was a party in progress somewhere downtown to celebrate the occasion. Of course she wouldn’t have known anything about it if it wasn’t for Jessica who heard about it through friends. Stepping inside the elevator, Vesper scanned the security pass to gain access to Tristan’s penthouse suite. A few weeks back things were so good he’d given her a key to his place, and now he was actively avoiding her. She shook her head with disbel
ief. One way or another – even if she had to wait the whole night for him to get home – they were going to talk. Unfortunately, that didn’t make her feel better. A part of her was reeling with hurt and confusion. He seemed to be a completely different person now and she wracked her brain trying to figure out what changed. Did he not want to be with her anymore? Was he embarrassed to be seen with her? That had to be it. Why else wouldn’t he invite her to the party? That thought made her furious, and, frankly, it hurt like hell to know he felt that way.
The elevators stopped and she stepped out, flipping on the lights in the foyer. No matter how many times she came over, the sheer size of his apartment still shocked her at times. It always felt cold and empty, not at all homey like her own place was. Tonight, her discomfort was heightened more than usual.
Entering his den, she turned on more lights and was surprised to find his wallet on the coffee table and the room in disarray. Normally his place was spotless but not tonight. Exasperated, she started cleaning up to kill some time.
“Vesper?”
She yelped, whirling around to find Tristan standing by the open balcony door, dressed in a weathered t-shirt and track pants. “What are you doing here?”
He cocked his eyebrow. “This is my apartment.”
“I thought you were supposed to be at your party right now.”
“How do you know about that?”
“Jessica asked if I was going tonight. Obviously I had no idea what she was talking about.” At least he had enough sense to look guilty, but it wasn’t enough to soothe her temper.
“I should have told you,” he sighed.
“That’s it? That’s all you have to say for yourself?”
Irritation flashed across his face. “I’m not in the mood to fight with you.”
“Too bad.”
“I can’t deal with this shit, Vesper, not tonight. So get the fuck out.” He turned around to walk away.
Hot, blinding anger rippled through Vesper, and she stormed after him. “Oh no you don’t, you don’t just get to shut me out when it’s convenient for you.” Grabbing his arm, she forced him to turn around. “Why are you acting like such a prick? Do you not want to be with me anymore, is that it?” she demanded. “At least man up and be honest about it instead of acting like a little bitch to get me to break things off.”
His eyes were cold and ruthless. “You think this is about you?” He pried her fingers off his arm. “Get over yourself, Vesper. You’re not the centre of my fucking universe,” he declared before heading out to the balcony.
Although furious, she sensed he was telling the truth. Whatever that was bothering him, it didn’t have anything to do with her, and if she really wanted him to open up she’d have to be patient. To combat her fear of heights she took a deep breath and reminded herself not to look beyond the railing as she followed him out. He was already seated on a lounge chair in the opposite corner, taking a swig of his beer. “Tell me what’s going on with you,” she urged, moving closer until she was standing directly in front of him.
“Why? So you can feel better?” he fired back.
She reached out to grab the bottle from his hand. “I want to help you, Tristan. And talking about whatever it is that’s bothering you – ”
“ – Isn’t going to do jack shit. I don’t want to talk, Vesper. What I want is to forget everything about today. You wanna help me? Let me get wasted in peace or take off your clothes and fuck me.” He didn’t wait for a response, leaning forward to snatch the beer back.
She watched as he chugged his drink. Someone close to her was drowning and she felt too weak to do anything about it. All those years ago Latoya had needed her and she had done nothing to help her sister, but Vesper refused to let history repeat itself. She wasn’t that same, stupid girl anymore. A wave of determination flooded through her mind, bringing with it a steely resolve. This time she wasn’t going to let fear or cowardice hold her back, not when Tristan was in so much pain. Taking the empty bottle from his hand, she set it aside and knelt down in front of him.
Staring into his eyes, she cradled his face. “You really think a quick fuck is going to make you feel better?”
His lips shaped into a cruel sneer. “Why? You offering?”
“If it’ll snap you out of your pity party, then yeah, I guess I am.” She reached up and closed her mouth over his.
At first he was still, as if shell-shocked, but as soon as she deepened the kiss, her fingers digging into the back of his neck, he snapped out of his daze. Tristan pulled her against him, returning her embrace with such ferocity she was left breathless and shaken. Expertly she slid her hands down his chest, slipped her fingers beneath his track pants and into his boxers. He was already aroused and getting harder as her fingers wrapped around his cock. Tearing her mouth away from his, she skimmed her lips across his cheek to his ear. “Do you have a condom?” she whispered.
He pulled away, his breath ragged as he stared at her with a dazed look. “What?”
“I thought you wanted to fuck,” she responded coldly, standing up and reaching underneath her skirt to pull her panties down. Stepping out of them, she kicked them aside.
“I know what you’re doing,” he said in an accusatory tone. “You’re trying to manipulate me.”
“How? By giving you what you asked for?” she fired back. “You think this is how I wanted us to be together? I’ve waited so long to be with you. You, Tristan. But you’re so intent on avoiding your problems you would fuck anybody that was standing in front of you! Guess I should consider myself lucky that it’s me.” She started unbuttoning her shirt. “We might as well get this over with. Do you have a condom or not?”
“Stop, Vesper. You don’t have to do this.”
“What else am I supposed to do?” she said, her voice laced with desperation. “You’re in pain and I can’t stand by and do nothing. I have to help you.” Realising this was probably her last chance to get through to him, she held his face, placing a tender kiss on his left cheek, then the right. Finally he seemed to soften, his face revealing all of his vulnerabilities as he leaned into her hand. “I know you don’t want to talk about what’s bothering you, and you don’t have to,” she added quickly to reassure him. “But I could sit here with you, stay with you as long as you want me to.”
“Vesper…” he murmured, his anguished expression breaking her heart.
“If that isn’t enough, Tristan,” she whispered, angling forward to graze his temple. “If you need more from me, that’s okay too. I just want to help you.” Instantly he moved closer, buried his face in the crook of her neck. The dam was broken, his guard finally down as he wept silently. It tore her up to see him this devastated, and a part of her wanted to rip into shreds all those who’ve hurt him, but she knew her rage wasn’t what he needed right now. More than anything, he just wanted to be comforted. Her arms encircled him and she held him tightly, hoping the warmth of her embrace was enough to console him.
*****
They were still on the balcony an hour later. She was sitting on his lap, their bodies wrapped in each other. Once in a while her fingers ran through his hair and he’d tighten his grip on her, like he was worried she’d get up and leave. His cries had died down and now there was only heavy silence in the air.
“Are you cold?” he asked after some time.
“No. You?”
“My mom killed herself on my birthday.”
Stunned, she looked up to find him staring off into space. His body was visibly tense, his jaw clenched. “Tristan?” she prodded him to continue.
“It was my twelfth,” he answered in a flat tone. “By that point Arthur couldn’t stand being around my mom. All they did was fight, and he’d only come home when he had to. They were still married but they lived separate lives, at least he did. Mom… she didn’t know how to let go.�
� He exhaled a deep sigh. “I always looked forward to my birthdays back then. That was the only day my parents would play nice with each other.”
He paused, caught up in the memories that haunted him. She smoothed her fingers across his cheek, urging him to come back.
“They got into a huge fight about my birthday that week. I wanted to do something with my friends but I knew my mom would hate that idea. She only wanted it to be the three of us, like always. She never liked me hanging out with other people. My dad was on my side and he put his foot down to get me what I wanted. That afternoon she was still pissed off at us when we left but I didn’t care. I was just so excited for the party my dad threw me. I did ask her to come, and when she wouldn’t I felt relieved, you know? I could actually chill, and relax with my friends. I didn’t have to look after her like I always did. What a great kid I was, right?” He didn’t wait for a response. “Back then I didn’t used to hate him, I actually thought he was decent.”
Vesper noted the obvious affection he once had for his father. It surprised her, especially considering their broken relationship now.
“I remember I had such a great time with him that afternoon. He’d invited all my friends including this girl I was crushing on but was too shy to talk to. Arthur gave me tips on how to flirt with her. At one point we even snuck outside to make-out.” Tristan smiled bitterly. “I can’t even remember what she looks like now.”
She raised his hand to her lips, kissed his palm.
“I came home after the party so happy and excited. I stopped by my mom’s bedroom to check in on her.” His voice was filled with disgust. “Four fucking maids and not one had bothered to go to her room that day. I found her in the bathtub, dead. She’d slit her own wrists.”
Vesper shivered. “I’m so sorry.”
He met her gaze, his grief palpable. “Apparently she’d found out my dad was fucking one of her friends. That was the last straw, she couldn’t stand the humiliation anymore. I swore that day I was going to destroy him for everything he did to her.”