by M. L. Briers
Three sets of manly eyebrows went down over their black eyes and the grumbling ensued. Yes, I liked to play hardball, and zapping those balls was a firm favourite of mine when things didn’t go my way. I lifted my hand and three men took a simultaneous step back from each other.
Relief!
A slow, loud clap sounded from the darkness in the corner of the bar at the back. I flicked my eyes in that direction and tried to pretend that I had super shifter vision to make myself feel better, but in truth I couldn’t see a damn thing. I didn’t like it.
“Thanks. All tips are gratefully received.” I didn’t get an answer to that but the clapping did stop. The three stooges were still glaring at each other.
“What happened?” I asked on a sigh and all eyes snapped towards me as they all started talking at once. “Oh, geez, really?” I held up my hands to silence them and when they ground to a halt like someone had stolen their battery packs; I turned my attention towards King.
“You first.” I pointed a loaded finger in his direction.
“The vampire butted in where he…” King’s growl was just rolling along with his voice when Scott decided he didn’t want to wait. How unlike a vampire.
“I did not butt in…”
“Sure you did, and you’re doing it again.” Cane offered in his slightly more laid back style as he folded large muscled arms across his chest and gave the bloodsucker a knowing look. Scott turned his eyes on me and shook his head.
“No, I didn’t.” He assured me. Of course, I wasn’t assured. I didn’t trust the man as far as I could throw him-over most things, but he did save Hawk’s life and that counted for something.
“Yes, you did!” King growled.
“Can we use our happy voices and not our ‘I want to rip your fecking head off and shove it up your backside voices, please?” I even used my figures to invert some imaginary quotes around the important parts of what I’d said. That set the apple cart flying with them all talking at once again.
“Ladies!” I shouted as loudly as I could and watched with satisfaction as they all winced. There were some drawbacks to having super species hearing that I liked and insulting alpha males was always a plus.
“Joss…” Scott protested.
“Come on, Joss…” Cane offered.
“I resent that.” King growled out.
“The shouty voice or the accurate description of how you’re all acting?”
I’d had enough of this. I had a warm, hunky, sexy, willing mate back home that I could be getting my thing on with, and here I was doing a damn job that I wasn’t qualified for or paid to do.
Whoop-whoop, not.
“I was just…” King started to tell me again and Scott couldn’t resist jumping in on him up once more.
“We were all just, King. You on the other hand do not have a claim on the female.” Scott gave one of those superior grins that annoyed me, but not as much as it seemed to annoy King. His growl left little to the imagination and it was more than obvious that he wanted to rip off the vampire’s head and leave it on a spike as a warning.
Who could blame him, it was Scott after all?
Wait… Female?
“Which female?” I placed my hands on my hips and showed them that I meant business. I wanted an answer to my question because I had the sneaky suspicion that…
“Witch is right.” Cane grinned and showed a little fang, but it was his choice of words that annoyed me so.
“Sydney!” I snapped.
I’d had it with her. She left the house for less than an hour and here I am. And there they are, sniffing around her… Puss in Boots…
Sydney took a slow stroll out of the darkness at the back of the bar and gave me a small wave. Needless to say I wanted to rip her arm off and smack her around the head with it… but I didn’t.
“Hi, Sis.” Sydney gave me one of those wide eyed, but you love me really-smiles, and I wanted to growl like Doug’s bear.
“Sis, as in…?” Scott’s eyebrows nearly touched his hairline as I snapped my death glare on him.
“Not one frickin’ word.” I offered all three of them. King raised his hand and offered an index finger in thought as he took a breath and I concentrated that glare on him. He sighed and dropped that hand.
“Really? Sydney. World war three after an hour?”
I am going to send her packing before things could get really ugly, and not just between the horny males present. I still have my to-kill list and she’s now taken her place near the top. One more event and I’m in danger of going postal on her bony backside.
“Oh, so you have time to drink, but not time to answer my call with any civility.” Doug announced from somewhere behind me and my eyes practically rolled backwards in my head.
Today was not a good day to be a growly, sulky, broody, moody, bad tempered bear. I made a slow turn towards him and his eyes narrowed on me for just a second as he evaluated my mood. From the way he snapped his head back on his neck, I must have been doing my Medusa impression.
“I could come back later.” Doug suddenly looked more sheepish than bearish, but I was on a roll.
“Oh no, why don’t you just make my day and add to my sorry arse woes. I swear, if it’s the squirrels again I’m going to nut someone, and I don’t mean the food. Go on! Give it your best shot.” I snapped and grinded my teeth in annoyance. Doug swallow some of his tongue…
“Someone broke into Marmaduke’s house.” Doug offered with a little more apology in his voice than I’d ever heard him offer in his life before.
I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out. I do believe that my jaw was resting firmly on my chest by this point, but without a mirror I was only speculating. This was just the icing on the cake. What could I say?
Don’t I feel stupid…?
“The man’s dead and he’s still causing trouble.” Scott groaned.
“Did no one ever teach you not to speak ill of the dead?” Cane growled.
“It’s never stopped you guys speaking ill of me.” I guess Scott had a point, not much of one…
“You’re the gift that just keeps giving…” King shot him the stink eye.
“And you suck, in more ways than one.” Now Doug was getting involved. Sometimes I just kind of wished that alpha males were, well, neutered. All except for Hawk of course.
“Could we please put our appendages away and…”
“Penises.” My sister gave me a smug look.
“Good judge of character, they are indeed penises, but they can play nice too-sometimes.” I offered.
If she was hoping to shock or throw me off my game then she was going to have to do a lot better than that. I was infinitely more shocked by the sight of her hair than her words… My sister, the rebel without a clue.
“Joss, this is no time…” Doug started in his usual growly, broody, eyebrows arched kind of a way, but I wasn’t really listening. I was certainly past caring.
“Was anything stolen?” I decided that was the most important question and Doug shot me one of those are you kidding me looks that he did so well.
“It’s Marmaduke’s. There could be a bloody nuclear submarine stashed somewhere in that place and you’d literally have to trip over it to find it in that shit pit.”
I suppose he had a point. I’d been meaning to go in and start cataloguing bits and pieces and clearing things out, but I got a little-a lot-side-tracked with my mate. Not my fault. The man was a sex God after all.
“Ooo, can I see?” Sydney asked with hope in her sparkling eyes and I was only too happy to crush that hope like I was a constipated cow on the day of release…
“Not a chance in hell.” I did offer her a sweet smile to finish. She turned her attention towards Doug and flashed him a dazzling smile.
“Can I see it sometime?” She purred at him and the bear melted into something of a gooey puddle…
Damn, while it was amusing to watch Mr Moody melt, it was also damned annoying. I usually had to use th
reats of violence to get Doug to play nice and she did it with a flashy smile and some sexy tones. It was at times like these I hated my sister beyond reason.
“Is he blushing?” Scott folded his arms across his chest and smirked at the bear. Doug frowned hard…
“Do bears blush?” King frowned harder.
“I know they shit in the woods…” Cane offered to a rumble of thunder that came from Doug, and once again I needed to intervene.
“Can you please not? The last time Doug lost control of his bear this bar was shut for a week to clean up the mess.” All three of the troublemakers considered my words so I thought I’d reinforce the picture for them. “That would leave you guys somewhat homeless, wouldn’t it?”
“She has a point.” King muttered.
“She always has a point and is always happy to prod people with it.” Scott offered.
“That’s beyond tempting, Vampire.” I have to admit that just for giving my sister a lift home I would consider jabbing him with something wooden and spikey, maybe not a kill shot, just a little suffering should do it.
“Someone has their panties in a twist.” Scott grinned wildly at me and all I could think about was that stake in my hand and where I’d love to shove it. I think spending so much time around these alpha types was definitely rubbing off on me.
“My panties is something that you’re never going to see…” He lifted his index finger and went to interrupt. “Expect for on a washing line.” He dropped that finger again, deflated, and I grinned inside. “And if Hawk catches you even thinking about my damn panties…”
“What about your panties and who’s thinking about them?” Hawk burst into the bar as if he had a demon on his tail and all I could think about in that moment was how damn sexy he looked; all growly and frowny.
“Grandma, what big ears you have…” Scott muttered. He said it loud enough for me to pick up on so the rest of the damn room must have caught it too.
My sister of course chuckled. I did not-although, it was kind of amusing in that moment in time. Hawk growled and the hairs on my body paid attention. There might have been other parts that did too but I was trying hard not to go there in my imagination.
“One of these days, Vampire, you and I are going to finish what we started…” On the inside I was rolling my eyes. On the outside I folded my arms across my chest and showed them I was not impressed.
That was a damn lie. How could I not be impressed by my mate’s alpha nature? The man sent shivers up and down my spine every single time that he growled, and he growled a lot.
“Is that like a date?” Scott was being a smartarse as usual and Sydney was chuckling at his antics. Great, conspirators, my life was complete.
“Don’t encourage him.” I gave my sister a death glare and she gave me a wicked look in return.
“Nothing wrong with a little encouragement…” She practically purred and Scott’s index finger shot out as he pointed towards her.
“See, King. That blows your pouty theory that I was interfering right out of the damn water.” Scott looked triumphant. King looked somewhat pissed. And Sydney was lapping up the attention as usual. “And I saw her first.” Scott added.
“You just came in here twenty minute ago.” King growled out and Scott gave the King of beasts a wicked smile.
“Gave her a lift home earlier.” He informed the shifter to another growl of annoyance.
“Ok. First… shut the hell up.” I announced to all of them. “Second, not home, my house. You gave her a lift to my house and that is not and won’t ever be her home…”
“Touchy much?” Cane grinned at me and he really shouldn’t have because right then and there I was as close to losing it as I had ever been. I gave him a small zap to show just how much I appreciated his input and he groaned as every muscle in his body stiffened.
“Sisterly love, such a wonderful…” Scott started and I was more than happy to let fly with a glass that was on a nearby table. The man got it right in the back of his head before he could react. Point to me.
“Are we clear?” I folded my arms across my chest and scowled at Scott. The vampire inclined his head.
“I got the message.” He informed me.
“Good.” I dropped my arms back to my sides. “Thirdly. My sister is not mating with any one of you…”
“Two at a time or all at once sounds…” King considered his response when my eyes snapped in his direction and I offered him my newly perfected death glare. It might not have killed him but it did shut him the hell up.
“Now if one more thing gets broken here tonight, and that includes body parts, I’m going to have Warren ban you all for a week.” I announced and when everyone’s eyes flicked towards the barman you could have heard a pin drop. I certainly heard the man swallow a good portion of his tongue down the back of his throat and then he coughed it back up.
I turned towards Doug and the shifter lost the smirk and went to a scowl. He lifted his index finger and opened his mouth. I was in no mood for it.
“I will get to the Duke’s house when I get a chance.”
“If you had got around to boxing everything up for safe keeping already then this wouldn’t have happened.” Doug berating me was about as welcome as my sister appearing on my doorstep.
“I don’t think you want to go through the rest of your life with only one testicle.” I practically whispered to the man and saw the deep frown that was etched onto his forehead get deeper with every word.
Doug pulled his head back and scowled at me. That was good. Doug in thoughtful mode was way better than Doug in growly mode.
“Can’t you do something about your mate’s sour mood and her temperament?” Doug lobbed that one at Hawk and my heart hit my ribs when Hawk’s smile burst across his face.
“She’s not like that with me.” Score a point for my mate!
“Lucky bloody-well you.” Doug growled.
“Now, I wanna go home with my mate and have me a good time.” I could see that rubbing it in worked wonders for the alpha males present. “So could you all behave like normal people?”
“Define normal.” Scott groaned.
“Not you.” I snapped back.
“I need more information than that.” Scott was trying his luck and my sister was still egging him on with her girlie chuckles. If she wanted the damn vampire that badly I was getting to the point where I might just throw caution to the wind and my sister to the wolves, I mean vamps, vamp, singular.
Although this was Sydney and I’d put nothing past her.
“Look, it’s the tourists that are supposed to be damned annoying, not the residents.”
“But the tourists are just so…” Scott paused for thought.
“Don’t say it.” I warned him.
“Tasty.” He offered with another grin and a little fang. I groaned.
“But they don’t come close to a witch.” Sydney flashed that wicked smile of hers and I swear I could see every one of those damn alpha males drool a little…
“Look, could everyone get their minds of the witch feast and onto the damn break in?” Doug growled out.
“You said yourself that we can’t be sure if anything is missing, so we’ll just have to wait and see if the end of days arrives, and then you can all kiss your arses goodbye.” Scott announced with a little too much glee.
King growled. Cain huffed, and Doug postured, but for what I wasn’t sure.
“You’re some nasty arse piece of ghoul shite, aren’t you?” Doug bit out and I had my answer. Scott frowned and made a point of thinking about it. I sighed inwardly.
CHAPTER THREE
“I’d have to say yes to that…” Scott offered. “At least…” He stopped and made a point of thinking it through. “No-that’s a yes.” He announced and it was Doug’s turn to growl.
I just wanted to get laid. Was that too much to ask?
“Can we please…?” I started; but Doug’s mouth was already off and running.
“
Damn, vampires and their big arse superiority complexes. I hate vampires nearly as much as I hate those little toilet brush tailed vermin bastards that keep stealing my…”
“Oh crap, Doug. Not that again.” I tossed up my hands with all of the frustration that I felt inside me. This day had gone from great, super, magic, wonderful, to shite in a matter of hours, and all of it had started after my damn sister arrived.
Ok, so I couldn’t blame her for the break in at the Warlock’s house… or could I?
“I can deal with the break in at Marmaduke’s house.” Hawk offered and I groaned inwardly. That still didn’t get me laid…
“It’s nice to know that someone around here is doing their job.” Doug aimed the stink eye at me.
“You know what, Doug. This isn’t my job, and if it was I’d have to tell you to take this damn job and shove it up your arse.” I couldn’t help myself, well, I probably could have, but come on. I’d had enough of this town’s shite.
“Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.” Sydney grinned at me.
“No, someone was yanked out of bed by a sister who only shows up when she wants something and manages to cause Armageddon when she does.” I snapped back.
“Sexual frustration.” Scott announced to the world. “It’s a terrible thing.”
“You would know.” I snapped back. “And I’m far from being frustrated, thanks.”
“Lucky you. I on the other hand…” Sydney announced and every single male’s ears in the place pricked up. I hoped it was only their ears.
“We don’t need to know what your other hand is feeling…” I snapped and decided instantly that it hadn’t come out right.
“Or who…” King growled with the death glare at the vampire.
“Perhaps yourself?” Scott offered to Sydney and I had to bite down on the urge to kill him once more.
There were growls, lots of growls at that mental image that Scott had offered the damn horny posse. Wonder-bloody-ful. My sister just went back on the menu…
“You.” I pointed at Sydney and she tried for innocent and failed. That girl couldn’t do innocent if her life depended on it. “Home.” I snapped out.