by Amy Marie
My hand slaps over my mouth. I hadn’t told Noe or Erin that. I wasn’t planning on it. I just keep sticking my foot in my mouth.
“The plot thickens,” Erin comments then laughs.
“What kind of shots?” Noelle asks. “Like protein shots.”
Emie spits out her wine across the floor. Noelle jumps up, runs to the kitchen and grabs a rag and some carpet cleaner. This causes Emie, Erin and me to erupt in a fit of laughter. It’s not even her house and she is freaking out over the wine on the floor.
“Noelle,” I laugh her name out. “Don’t worry about the carpet.”
She looks up from her spot on the floor. “Don’t worry about the carpet?” she asks astonished. “Oh, honey, I keep all my carpets clean. All of them.” She winks. “Don’t you know a man loves a clean carpet?”
“Noelle stop!” Erin groans.
I laugh again, letting the wine talk for me. “He doesn’t have to worry about a clean carpet, just about buffing my hardwood floor.”
I’m even shocked by my admittance of having it all bare down there. All of them start whooping and hollering and I reach over to grab my phone to order us all Chinese, while Noe finishes up her cleaning. However, I am distracted by a text I missed. I can feel myself blush when I find it’s from Ryder.
Ryder: What are you up to?
I smile and while the girls continue to giggle and chat, I respond.
Me: Hanging out with some friends.
Ryder: I’m a friend. Can I come hang out?
Another smile presents itself on my face, and I put the phone down before my tipsy side tells them to leave and tell Ryder to come over. I don’t know what a break with Braden means but I do know that it shouldn’t involve me asking Ryder to come over. Even though he isn’t here just the thought of our almost kiss makes me want to finish what we started.
I excuse myself to the bathroom. When I’m done I grab my credit card from my purse so I can pay for our food and walk back into the living room catching Noelle throwing my phone back onto the couch where I had it.
“What did you do?” I ask her but look over at Emie who is more interested in her own phone than the two bitches messing with mine. She has barely said a word since she got here which is not like her.
I wonder what that is about. It seems like anytime Ryder’s name comes up she goes all mute on me.
“Nothing that you shouldn’t have done,” Erin says crossing her leg over the other.
I pick it up finding my texts with Ryder still open but it has significantly more than when I left.
“You texted him back?” I screech at the two of them looking at the messages that occurred while I was in the bathroom.
Me: You can come anytime.
Ryder: Really?
Me: As long as it’s with me.
Ryder: Which one of Hadley’s friends is this?
Me: The kind that wants her to get laid.
I’m horrified as the texts seem to be getting worse.
Me: She told me she wants to do some protein shots with you.
Ryder: Haha. I’m sure she did.
Me: She did. She said now that Braden is out of the picture she would love to wrap her mouth around your dick. Protein does a body good.
Ryder: Braden’s out of the picture???
And that’s where I must have caught them with my phone. I stare down at it wondering what the hell I say to him now. I opt for ignoring his question.
Me: I’m sorry about that. I should never leave my phone unattended around them.
Ryder: It’s ok. They proved informative. Is it true?
He won’t relent, and I’m not sure how to respond so I don’t. The rest of the night seems off. I’m pissed that Noelle sent out those texts and told Ryder something I didn’t really want him to know and Emie has been extremely quiet. She gives one word answers and anytime the other two joke about Ryder she doesn’t even comment at all. When the wine is gone, the food is eaten, and the cabs arrived and picked them up, I slump down into the couch and grab my phone again seeing a text from an hour earlier.
Ryder: Just a yes or no, Hadley? Did you two break up?
I know he won’t stop asking until he gets his answer. I always remember Ryder as a push and shove kind of guy. Never stopping until he succeeds at what it is he wants to succeed at.
Me: No, no break up. Just a break.
When he doesn’t respond I decide to jump in the shower. The hot temperature, combined with the copious amounts of fermented grapes, cleanses the stress of the past two days. I stay in there for a while not wanting to step out into the emptiness of my apartment. When the water runs cold, I get out and put on a pair of yoga pants and tank top. I pull back the sheets and stop before climbing in when I hear a knock at the door. A glance at the clock tells me it’s past midnight.
I reach for the bat next to my bed and walk quietly towards the door. Looking through the peephole my stomach flutters with excitement over seeing Ryder’s face. I shouldn’t be this thrilled to see a man that I love to hate and hate to love.
I swing the door open, bat still in hand, and watch as he takes me in. His eyes leave a blazing trail from my bare feet to my hardened nipples and then land on my own dilated pupils.
“Do you think an intruder would knock on the door, Hadley?” he asks looking at the bat in my hand.
I turn around and drop the bat onto my sofa. “Just be glad I didn’t grab my gun.”
He chuckles as he walks into the apartment and closes the door. I don’t know why I’m letting him in but I can’t stop myself.
“You know how to shoot?” he asks surprised.
I have to cross my arms over my braless chest before I turn around. “Braden taught me.”
He nods in understanding before taking a step further in and looking at the painting in my dining room. If only he knew that the color of the water reminded me of his eyes.
After what feels like an eternity I finally ask, “What are you doing here?”
A dark look crosses his features as he stops closer to me. His proximity causes me to drop my hands. “I still remember, Hadley.”
I watch as his fingers hover above my arms raising them as though he is trailing his touch up over my skin. They leave goose bumps in their wake and create a pool of desire. I try to clear my throat but my question still comes out hoarse. “What do you remember, Ryder?”
The atmosphere in the room shifts. It turns from tense to thick with lust. His muscles tighten in his forearms, his lips get closer to mine. My eyes involuntarily close.
When he answers I can feel the heat of his breath on my neck. “How your lips feel on mine and how your skin feels under my touch. I want to kiss you. Finish what we started yesterday.” My body tingles with how close he is to me. I want to push him away but pull him into me all at the same time.
“You can’t,” I say fighting the urge to let him ravish me.
I open my eyes, finding his looking down at my heaving chest. “Are you still his?” he asks.
“No,” I whisper.
“Then let me claim what is rightfully mine, Hadley.”
“I’m not yours.”
“You’re not his anymore either. You’re fair game.”
I push off of him, upset by his choice of words. “It’s not a game, Ryder! This is my life.”
Angry and sexually frustrated I stomp over to my patio looking outside. It faces into the parking lot and even though the snow has cleared there are piles of it on every corner.
The taller ones remind me that just a week ago I was trying to be free and feel like the old me as I slid down that hill.
“I just want my life back,” I say to myself but he hears me. I know he does.
I listen as he approaches and turn around so that I can make sure he keeps his distance. My mind goes to mush when he catches me off guard.
“Tell me,” he urges. “What about it do you want back?”
I shake my head side to side as I look down. “Freedom. The free
dom to be me. To take risks, take chances. Live life.”
I feel like a broken record but I don’t know what to do about it.
He points towards my room. “Go get dressed,” he commands.
I look up at him curiously. “What? Why?”
“I want to take you somewhere.”
I can’t believe I’m about to do this, and I can’t believe Hadley is trusting me enough to take her somewhere she doesn’t know.
She got dressed and slipped on her coat without another word but the bouncing of her leg next to me in the car tells me she is nervous but curious.
My heart broke for her hearing that she has lost herself over the past half of a decade. I can understand that. Sometimes I feel like I can’t be the guy I used to be when I was with her. She was the one who taught me not to care what the hell other people thought. The one that made me want to do adventurous things like mountain climb and parasail. For her to say that she misses taking risks, well, it makes me sad for her.
Just in the small amount of time I’ve spent with her I feel like she is just the shell of her old self and even though where I am taking her won’t fix that I just hope she can come out little by little.
I pull into the parking spot of a nearby hotel and when I look over, Hadley’s eyes are wide and angry. “If you wanted to fuck me, Ryder, you could have told me at my apartment so you wouldn’t have wasted time or money bringing me here so I could say no.”
I laugh. “Fuck you?” I shake my head. “Oh no, Spark. The first time I get myself between those sexy ass legs of yours again I won’t be fucking you. I’ll be worshipping you.”
Her cheeks flush red, and her thighs push together I’m sure to ease whatever tension I just created down below.
Looking towards the building, her eyes scan the outside. “So, what are we doing here then?”
I put the car in park and turn it off. “You’ll see,” I give her a vague answer.
My words in the car about worshipping her must have been effective because she won’t look at me and she sure as shit won’t get closer than five feet away. Now that I think about it, my plan to get closer might not work out so well.
As we enter the quiet lobby we bypass the desk and head straight for the back of the hotel, the clerk never stopping us. The hallway is long and quiet, seeing as it’s now one in the morning, except for the paddling of our soft footsteps. When we reach our destination Hadley looks between me and the glass windows confused.
“So, what now?” she asks looking back at me.
I motion behind her to the large room with a pool and hot tub. “We’re going in.”
Her laugh fills the hallway. “No we’re not. We aren’t staying here and we don’t have swim suits.”
I push the propped open door and extend my arm inviting her in. The smell of chlorine greets us. “We don’t need them.” I wink at her. “Live a little.”
When she makes no attempt to move and refuses to enter I pick her up and throw her over my shoulder. She goes to scream but I stop her. “Don’t,” I warn, slapping her on her ass. “You don’t want to get caught do you?”
She quiets down but continues to struggle as I carry her over to a corner where we can’t be seen. My friend owns the hotel so even if they caught us it’s not like we couldn’t get out of it. That and the fact that I’m a police officer would help if we did in fact get arrested.
Setting her down next to one of the long white chairs she gives me a deadly look, the shade of her eyes turning evergreen. “I’m not doing this, Ryder. You are not seeing me naked.”
I throw my head back and let out a loud laugh. “Are you kidding? I can close my eyes and see you naked, Hadley. You might be more toned up now but there is no way I could forget how beautiful your body is.”
She flushes again and subtly bites her lip.
“Plus, you can’t tell me,” I walk over turning the hot tub on, “this doesn’t excite you. Didn’t you say you wanted to feel free? Take a chance?”
She contemplates for a moment before zipping her jacket down and letting it fall onto the chair. “Turn around,” she says, looking past me, most likely making sure no one can see us.
I do as she says and look out towards the pool and start stripping myself hoping to God that I don’t get too hard. “I hope you’re getting undressed because if you aren’t I’m going to do it for you,” I threaten.
I hear her slip into the hot tub before she responds. “You can turn around now.”
I have no shame doing as she asks while taking my boxers down over my ass. I find her in the hot tub staring directly into my eyes not wanting to look down. Spotting her clothes on the chair and knowing she is ten feet from me, naked under the water, has me trying to keep my dick at bay.
I slowly slip in to the warm water across from her watching as her toe peeks up through the water and steam. The bottom of her foot is smooth and I have to keep myself from reaching out and bringing it towards me. The water trickles down to her knee before she lowers her leg back underneath the surface.
A sound comes from just outside the pool area and her eyes shift towards the exit.
“What does a break entail, Hadley?” I ask distracting her. “Can you see other people?”
She stifles a laugh and brings her attention back to me. “I don’t know. I’ve never been on a break before but since Braden and I were together for over two years I think anyone at this time would just be a rebound.”
Hadley stares at me, waiting for a response but I take a moment to think about it. “A rebound, huh? Well, isn’t a rebound defined as someone you use to bury the pain of a bad break up?”
She tilts her head to the side wondering what I’m getting at while bringing water up and over her neck and chest. I swallow hard trying not to be distracted. “Yea,” she says slowly, question in her tone.
“Well, I don’t think,” I tell her scooting myself around the tub until I’m as close as I can get without her moving. “That you would be burying any sort of pain. I think you would just be picking up where you left off. Where you should have stayed.”
My hand comes out of the water, pushing her hair back behind her ears as I slide my fingertips down her neck. Her eyes flutter shut with the touch of them gliding over her collarbone. I watch as her lips part and her teeth snag her bottom lip. Her chest rises but never falls as she holds her breath. Reaching my hand up and around the back of her neck I pull her to me and gently hover my lips over hers.
“Ryder,” she whispers but I don’t respond. I just hold my lips so close that I feel her breath seep into my body. I watch as her eyes open, a tear pricking at the edge, threatening to fall over, and I lean a few inches back.
“Had, what’s wrong?” My brow creases in confusion. Is she upset about her break up? Is she scared to be with me?
I drop my hands at the same time she drops her gaze down to the bubbling water.
“I just...I can’t...” She stumbles through her words before looking up at me and I see the tear fall slowly down her cheek. “We need to be friends.”
My breath catches as a gust of air exits my lungs. I didn’t expect five words to crush me like that. After yesterday’s confession of hers that she would have let me kiss her and finding out today she is available I think maybe I got my hopes up too quickly.
“Okay.” I shake my head reluctantly giving her more space. “I can do that.”
“Really?” she asks with the sound of hope in her voice.
“Yes. I’d rather be your friend than for you to tell me to stay away. I just don’t know that I could do that right now.”
Her smile lights up the space and I can’t help but smile too.
“So, as your friend,” I reiterate the last word. “I think you should tell me what happened.”
Her fingers wrap around her long hair, pulling it up on top of her head and holding it there. The action almost gives me a peek at her breasts. Her elbow comes to rest on the side of the hot tub so that she is leaning over and
just looks at me for a moment.
“He knew about you,” is all she says. I stare at her waiting for more but it never comes.
“So you told him we dated?” I ask.
She processes the question briefly. “No.” She furrows her brow. “He didn’t know that until yesterday. He did however know you gave me a ride to fix my car and that I lied to him about it. I told him my cousin helped but somehow he found out you did and decided to ignore me all week because of it. I don’t blame him really. I’d be pissed if he lied to me.”
A lot of things run through my head. One being that I’m sure he has lied to her before. What kind of man ignores his long term girlfriend of two years without confronting her with what he knew? The second thought I have to ask. “What else, Hadley? It just seems like something else had to have gone on between the two of you for it to escalate to a break up.”
“A break,” she clarifies. “And I don’t know. I think he is embarrassed of me. Or cheating. Remember I told you he jumped down my throat about his Christmas party? Well we got into an argument over that again.”
I’m happy she is finally opening up to me more without the help of alcohol but I hate that he is treating her this way.
The steam rises between us, and my body is starting to heat up. I know soon we will have to get out of the water, and I’m going to have to take a look at her naked body. I won’t complain though. “You don’t want to go?”
“Oh, I do, and he is more than willing to go. He just doesn’t want me to.” She shakes her head like she can’t believe something. “He doesn’t have a choice now. I have to go. I’m coordinating the event.”
She looks sad. Defeated.
“Spark,” I call her by her nickname that I gave to her all those years ago. The one that reminded her not only of how we started off as a little flame and blew up into a full blown fire but how she used to be a pistol. Someone that was a light everywhere she went. As she looks up at me I tell her, “If you were mine, I would be honored to have you on my arm whether at a Christmas party or a lunch at Burger King. It wouldn’t matter. Any man should feel lucky to have you by his side.”