At this, the woman in the checked shirt gave a snort of laughter. Janet looked over at her and saw that the smirk was still on her face.
‘Home makeover, I mean,’ Reenie said, sounding annoyed. ‘A complete new look…’
But Janet wasn’t listening any longer, because the door that led to the church was opening, and there, at last, was Gwen.
‘Hello, Janet,’ Gwen said, advancing into the room. ‘I’ve just been checking on the church flowers.’
Gwen started to take her coat off. Her back was turned towards the Kama Sutra painting, and Janet waited with bated breath for her to turn round and see it.
‘You just can’t trust Ruth to do a good job,’ she was saying, smoothing down her hair.
‘You two know each other then, do you?’ Reenie asked.
‘Yes,’ Gwen told her. ‘Janet and I are neigh-bours.’
‘That’s nice,’ Reenie said. ‘Live locally, do you? I’m out on the Larkton Estate myself.’
Janet was very familiar with Gwen’s opinions of the residents of the Larkton council estate, so she wasn’t very surprised when her neighbour chose a seat as far away from Reenie as she could. Gwen patted the chair next to her. ‘Come along, Janet,’ she said. ‘Sit here, next to me.’
As Janet was already settled next to Reenie, it felt a little on the rude side to be picking up her belongings and moving, but somehow she found herself doing it anyway, shooting Reenie an apologetic smile as she went.
‘Whatever have they done to these chairs?’ Gwen said, and Janet couldn’t believe she still hadn’t noticed the painting.
Reenie looked as if she was going to say something, and Gwen quickly directed a smile at Business Type, effectively blocking Reenie – and the painting – out with her back.
‘I’ve got an ongoing problem with my primulas,’ she said brightly. ‘That’s why I’m here. How about you?’
Janet saw Business Type give Gwen a baffled stare. Over on the other side of the room, Checked Shirt burst out laughing. ‘That’s a new name for it!’ she said.
Janet looked over at her. What was so amusing? Reenie was grinning broadly too. Janet just didn’t get the joke.
‘Isn’t that rather the point of this course?’ Business Type replied at last. ‘To find out what our problems are?’ Her voice was icy cold, designed to shut off all further conversation, but Gwen didn’t seem to take the hint. Janet saw her nod understandingly, giving the rather superior smile that Janet was all too familiar with.
‘Just general shedding and rot then, is it?’ Gwen asked politely.
On the other side of the room, Checked Shirt gave another snort of laughter, while Reenie let out what Janet could only describe as a whoop of mirth. A muscle flickered in Gwen’s cheek. Janet knew from experience that her neighbour was now seriously annoyed, and to be honest, Janet didn’t blame her.
‘I think it often comes down to whether you spread muck or not,’ Gwen sailed on regardless. ‘Put something really good in, that’s my advice. It’s the only way to reap the benefits.’
As Business Type stared back at Gwen, there was such a complete look of disdain in her expression that Janet felt embarrassed for her neighbour. Especially since, behind Gwen, the hilarity was continuing unabated.
Janet felt quite lost. Whatever was going on? Gwen could be quite laughable when she was on her high horse or doing her Countess Gwen-oh-so-pleased-to-meet-you act, but it wasn’t that funny.
‘Do you mind?’ Gwen retorted, sweeping round, and Janet saw her eyes widen as at last she saw the picture.
But before Gwen could say anything, the door opened and a woman in a swirling, black lace dress swept into the room.
Janet felt her mouth drop open.
‘Bloody hell,’ Checked Shirt said in a quiet voice that wasn’t quite quiet enough. ‘What is this? Sodding Strictly Come Dancing?’
If the woman had heard, she didn’t show it. Sweeping further into the room, she held her arms outstretched in a dramatic gesture of welcome. ‘Ladies!’ she said in a warm American-sounding voice. ‘My name is Jade Gate, and I’m your tutor for the course.’
‘Janet!’ Gwen whispered to her. ‘What is that painting doing there?’
Janet shrugged. ‘I don’t know,’ she whispered back, still staring at the woman. She’s like a witch! she thought, taking in her black clothes and her glorious copper brown hair tumbling down her back. A beautiful, powerful, frightening witch.
Jade Gate clasped her beringed hands in front of her and smiled at each of them in turn. When Janet received the smile, she felt as if a powerful laser beam had connected with her. Jade’s green eyes seemed to see right through and inside her. It would not be easy to have secrets from this woman, Janet knew it. But, bathed in that emerald green attention, she didn’t want to have any secrets from her. She wanted to crumple, to entrust herself entirely into the woman’s hands so that she could… What? She wasn’t sure.
As Jade’s gaze moved on to Business Type, Checked Shirt, Reenie and finally to Gwen, Janet watched their faces to see if they were as affected by it as she had been. It was impossible to tell. And in fact, Jade only looked at each of them briefly. And yet when she had looked at Janet, it had felt as if the moment had lasted ages.
‘Welcome to this series of workshops,’ Jade said, her smile now taking in all of them. ‘By coming here today, you have taken a first bold step to discovering the joyous, sensual women you are.’
Janet wasn’t surprised when Checked Shirt gave a grunt, which could have been amusement or disbelief, or a mixture of both. But this time Janet didn’t look at her. She didn’t want to, because for one thing, Jade was far more interesting to look at, and for another, the woman was starting to get on her nerves. She reminded Janet of her daughter Debbie when she was in a contrary mood. It was far better not to give her the satisfaction of noticing.
‘In the coming weeks we shall embark on a thrilling journey together; a roller coaster ride of amazing discovery! Not only will you learn to give yourselves intense pleasure,’ Jade continued, ‘but you’ll gain the self-confidence to tell others exactly what to do to give pleasure to you.’
Janet frowned to herself. Jade’s flowery language seemed very inappropriate, even for a horticulture course.
She wasn’t surprised when Gwen piped up. ‘My husband just leaves it to me at the moment really,’ she said. ‘He has other interests.’
Gwen always liked to speak at lot at Adult Education classes. Janet knew she ought to be used to it, but it still made her cringe. Gwen just loved the sound of her own voice. It had been the same thing in Yoga First Steps, Beginner’s French and Basic Pottery. Gwen always had to put forward her point of view. Occasionally she even disagreed outright with the tutor. Sometimes Janet thought it was Gwen’s main motivation for attending classes: to stir things up.
Jade was giving Gwen a sympathetic smile now. ‘Well, by the end of the course, your husband will be with you one hundred percent,’ she promised. ‘I guarantee it.’
Janet watched Gwen frown. ‘Oh no!’ she said. ‘I couldn’t stand that! I like to do it by myself!’
At that, the other three women all began to laugh. Janet looked at over them, uncomprehendingly. What was the big joke? She had to be missing something!
Gwen, meanwhile, was looking annoyed. ‘What’s wrong with that?’ she snapped, glaring at them all, and Jade was quick to smile soothingly.
‘Nothing’s wrong with that…I’m sorry, I don’t know your name,’ she said.
‘Gwen Chalmers,’ Gwen said, her voice sniffy.
Jade’s smile was kind. ‘Nothing’s wrong with that at all, Gwen,’ she said gently. ‘In fact, mastering the art of solitary pleasure is a first, very important step. And it’s entirely a woman’s personal choice whether she wishes to build on that with a partner or not.’
Gwen shook her head. ‘Oh no,’ she said, definitely not. I’ve had quite enough of building work. I told my husband after the last time: “I’m n
ot putting up with that filthy mess again, Peter,” I said. ‘So don’t you ask me to!’
Janet thought Jade looked somewhat abashed at that, but she quickly hid her reaction with a smile and swept on.
‘With such a sensitive subject,’ she said, ‘it’s only natural for you to feel apprehensive, and that’s why our first priority will be to create an atmosphere of trust and support within the group. For all of you to truly benefit, you’ll need to be prepared to share your most personal secrets with each other – the things you love and hate in bed, for example: what feels good for you and what doesn’t.’
Goodness! Janet could feel her face burning. For some reason her gaze was drawn to the fornicating couple in the oil painting opposite again. What kind of a course was this?
It seemed Gwen was wondering exactly the same thing. ‘Excuse me,’ she said, ‘but just how is that supposed to help me with my primulas? Every year they wither and dry up!’
Checked Shirt gave another loud guffaw of laughter. ‘She thinks this is a horticulture course!’
Janet was transfixed by Gwen’s face, which had quickly turned a strong shade of beetroot. ‘Well, that’s what it said on the publicity!’ she said, and Janet watched her as she dug in her handbag for a leaflet. ‘A woman’s harvest of delight! It says it right here!’
‘Different sort of harvest altogether, love,’ Reenie told her, not unkindly.
Meanwhile, Jade was reaching out an apologetic hand towards Gwen. ‘Oh, I am so sorry, Gwen,’ she said. ‘I didn’t mean to mislead you.’
Gwen was looking furious. ‘You mean this isn’t a gardening course?’ she said, and Jade shook her head.
‘No, I’m afraid not.’ She paused significantly. ‘It’s an orgasm workshop.’
The Goddess Workshop – Margaret K Johnson
Four very different women have one thing in common – and they’re determined to put it right!
When Janet, Kate, Estelle and Reenie sign up for a workshop at the village hall promising women a ‘garden of earthly delights,’ not all of them know exactly what they’ve signed up for. And when they discover that a giant reproduction from the Kama Sutra has replaced the usual portrait of the Queen, more than one of them contemplates doing a runner before it’s too late.
Jade Gate, their mysterious and charismatic workshop leader, wants to sweep them into the adventure of their lives. But can they trust her? And can they overcome their personal struggles for long enough to become the happy, sensual beings they deserve to be?
Reviews of The Goddess Workshop.
“Reading this novel gave me insight into what goes on behind the closed doors of both relationships and minds and it’s laugh out loud funny too. It is rich with both wit and wisdom and very well rounded too.”
“I loved this book from page 1, it was an enthralling read, you just wanted to know what happened next, how the characters developed – the twists and turns along the way – I couldn’t put it down – fantastic.”
“This was a warm and amusing story with a serious side too. I liked the well-rounded characters each with their own stories to tell. I would recommend this book to women who enjoy a memorable feel good read. I’m looking forward to the next book by Margaret Johnson.”
“A great book with unusual subject matter and an unpredictable twist. Everyone will be able to identify with at least one of the four characters in this original and entertaining story...even if you don’t share the ‘problem’ they have in common. The perfect holiday read for women of all ages.”
“I arrived on holiday two days ago, and picked up The Goddess Workshop yesterday afternoon just to read the first chapter, and couldn’t put it down!”
“Although this is a story about intimacy, this element is tastefully handled through the use of humour and the avoidance of explicit description. There is a satisfying plot twist. I was on a train when the reveal played out and my reaction drew puzzled glances from my fellow passengers. Knowing that this was originally written and performed as a stage play, I rather enjoyed picturing the opening and closing scenes on a stage.”
“A funny and fearless story about the quest for ultimate satisfaction. Warning: you might miss your stop if you read it on the bus.”
Also by Margaret K Johnson
The Dare Club
Aleysha, Nick, Colette and Emma are on a mission to scare themselves into forgetting their problems. But will it work?
When four very different people meet at a Lift Up course for the newly divorced or separated, there are initial tensions. Aleysha hasn’t accepted the fact that her 7-month marriage is over. Nick is struggling with being a single parent. Colette is still dealing with the health problems that caused her husband to walk out on her, and Emma is a dumper, while the others are dumpees.
As the group get to know each other, Colette suggests they start a dare club. If they’re cavorting several metres off the ground, or standing under a spotlight, it’s bound to help them to forget about their troubles, isn’t it? At the very least, they’ll have some fun, and who knows? It might just change their lives forever.
Margaret K Johnson began writing after finishing at Art College to support her career as an artist. Writing quickly replaced painting as her major passion, and these days her canvasses lay neglected in her studio. She is the author of The Goddess Workshop and the Dare Club as well as stage plays and many fiction books in various genres for people learning to speak English. Margaret has an MA in Creative Writing from the University of East Anglia and lives in Norwich, UK with her partner and son.
To contact Margaret or find out more about future publications, you can:
Go to her website at http://margaretkjohnson.com
Like her Facebook page: Margaret K Johnson Author
Follow her on Twitter - @margaretkaj
This book is copyright material and must not be copied, reproduced, transferred, distributed, leased, licensed or publicly performed or used in any way except as specifically permitted in writing by the published, as allowed under the terms and conditions under which it was purchased or as strictly permitted by applicable copyright law. Any unauthorised distribution or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the author’s and publisher’s rights and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly.
First published as Calling All Goddesses in 2014 by Margaret K Johnson
Copyright © 2014 Margaret K Johnson
Margaret K Johnson has asserted her right to be identified as the author of this Work in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
This novel is a work of fiction. Names and characters are the product of the author’s imagination and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise without the prior permission of the copyright owner.
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