by David Lubar
Don’t Ever Let It Touch the Ground
Another rule. Maybe this book should have been called Attack of the Rule Weenies. Just about every rule and superstition kids hear can be the source of a story. Hmmm, maybe there will be some rule weenies down the road (as long as they don’t step on a crack while they’re on that road).
Picking Up
As any parent (or kid) can tell you, the messy room is always an issue. While I can’t solve the problem in real life, I can at least fix things in fiction.
Head of the Class
Many years ago, my daughter had a teacher who would hold up students’ bad tests and tell everyone their grades. She once ripped a kid’s paper to pieces in front of the class. I felt that someone like this deserved a nasty fate—at least, in fiction. So I started writing a scene with an unpleasant teacher, fully intending for her to meet a ghastly end. But, as you can see, I lost control of the plot and had to abandon my original intentions. That’s fine. I kind of like how it came out. And I can always take another shot at vengeance down the road.
Halfway Home
There really is a use for a philosophy degree. I like thinking about paradoxes, dilemmas, and fallacies. Here’s a classic one to get you thinking: “This statement is false.” Think about it. If it’s false, it has to be true. But if it’s true, it must be false. “Halfway Home” is inspired by Zeno’s paradox, which takes several forms. For example, no matter how fast you run, you can never catch someone who has a head start, because you first have to make up half the distance, and then half of what remains, and so on. I’ll stop, now, or this entry will never finish.
Hop to It
I think I was watching some kids play with grasshoppers when this idea jumped into my mind. Or maybe I was the one making the grasshopper jump. If so, I swear I never squished it. As I look back over my story collections, I can see that insects seem to provide me with an endless source of ideas.
Nothing Like a Hammock
I have a hammock. And I love to watch spiders. All I needed to do was combine the two things. This is usually a great way to get an idea. (If you look at a building and see a giant robot, you’re on your way to a story.) The nice thing about combinations is that there are so many of them. If you take fifty different things, you can produce 2,450 unique combinations.
Puncturation
My daughter waited until eighth grade to get her ears pierced. That got me thinking about the whole process. I started out just having someone go in for a piercing, without knowing what would happen. For the record, I have nothing pierced. Yet.
The Chipper
One of the scariest stories I’ve ever read is Stephen King’s “The Mangler.” He wrote it about a laundry machine that scared him. The first time I saw a chipper, I had the same kind of reaction, so I figured it would be interesting to put it in a scary story. I actually did use a chipper once, but it was a teeny-tiny electric one. No way I’m going near the real thing.
Mug Shots
Okay, this is going to start sounding tedious, but this one also came from my “what if” file. In this case, I originally just thought about kids turning into animals. The twist popped into my mind right after I started writing the opening. There are countless ways I could have gone. Feel free to come up with your own version of the ending.
Forgotten Monsters
I have no idea where this idea came from. It just sort of popped into my head, as if someone whispered it in my ear. Weird.
READER’S GUIDE
ABOUT THIS GUIDE
The information, activities, and discussion questions that follow are intended to enhance your reading of The Curse of the Campfire Weenies. Please feel free to adapt these materials to suit your needs and interests.
WRITING AND RESEARCH ACTIVITIES
I. What Makes a Story Scary?
A. Examine the stories in The Curse of the Campfire Weenies, looking for ways in which these “warped and creepy tales” turn the ordinary on its ear. Then write a two- or three-paragraph answer to the question, “What makes a story scary?”
B. Go to the library or online to create a bibliography of great scary-story authors and their books, from Frankenstein author Mary Shelley to R. L. Stine of Goosebumps fame. Invite classmates or friends to read and summarize some of the stories from your list. Compile the information into a class “Scary Story Reading List,” complete with book titles, authors, plot summaries, and fun illustrations or graphics.
C. Does everybody like a good scare? Create a class survey about whether kids enjoy scary books or movies, have a favorite scary tale, know of a creepy place, or like to play spooky games. Can they sleep the night after watching a scary movie? Have they ever reconsidered an activity after hearing something scary about it? Compile the results of your survey on an informative poster, including illustrations and a chart or table.
II. Warped Writing Prompts
A. What happens if you take a cliché like “You Are What You Eat” to its literal extreme or explore its double meaning? Go to the library or online to find a list of proverbs and aphorisms by the great American Benjamin Franklin, including “Little strokes fell great oaks,” and “The cat in gloves catches no mice.” Use a creepy interpretation of a Franklin quotation as the basis for a warped tale.
B. Examine the way selfishness, laziness, and greed on the part of protagonists or others result in terrible outcomes in some tales. Try to remember the details of a time when you misbehaved or broke a rule. Jot down as many details as you can recall, such as who was present, where the event took place, what you did, and what you thought. Then write the creepy chronicle of a fictional character who acts as you did in your memory then gets what he or she “deserves!”
C. Like Zeno’s paradox that leaves one character eternally “Halfway Home,” mathematical and scientific principles can make great story starters. Visit the renowned Smithsonian Institution online at www.si.edu and spend at least five minutes exploring one or more “Science & Technology” feature or exhibit. Write a sentence describing the most interesting, thought-provoking, or creepy fact you discovered to use as the basis for a short, scary legend.
III. What If … ?
A. Reread the afterword, “A Word or Two About These Stories.” Write a short essay explaining why you think David Lubar chose to include this information along with his stories, and what inspirations or insights you found most interesting.
B. One of Lubar’s favorite story starters is to ponder “What if … ?”. With friends or classmates, discuss the value of this thought process. Is it a good way to start a story—especially a scary one? Make a brainstorm list of “What If’s” of your own.
C. Despite his long career as a video-game programmer, David Lubar does not feature scary video-game tales in this anthology. Write a list of at least five video-game related “What If … ?” story prompts to inspire writers. Trade prompts with friends or classmates and try writing the stories. Compile the efforts into a class anthology entitled The Vengeance of the Video Weenies.
QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION
1. What does the opening sentence of the first story tell you about its narrator? Are you the kind of reader who can “stare a werewolf in the face and laugh”? How does the opening paragraph make you reflect upon your own identity as someone who has chosen to read a scary-story collection?
2. Do you agree with the narrator of “Mr. Hoohaa!”, who suspects it’s better to have a reason to be afraid of things than to have an unreasonable fear? Why or why not? Do you think this story collection is about reasonable and unreasonable fears? Explain your answer.
3. Scary stories often involve ordinary situations viewed from an extraordinary, scary point of view. Reread the opening paragraphs of several stories to find the moment at which the normal becomes bizarre. (For example, the reference to the “ninety-seventh inning” in the opening line of “Tied Up.”) Describe a real-life experience of your own where something commonplace turned strange. Would it make for a good scary
story? Why or why not?
4. “You Are What You Eat” takes a common cliché to its absurd—and terrifying—extreme. What other stories in this collection bring a familiar expression to an extreme dimension? What might the author be trying to say about the power of language through such stories?
5. Explore the author’s use of food imagery, from the collection’s title to the serene experience of “The Soda Fountain” to the candy bar in “Fat Face.” What other stories play with notions of food and eating (or being eaten)? What are some important connections between food and being a kid?
6. In “Bobbing for Dummies,” “The Genie of the Necklace,” and “Inquire Within,” characters act in selfish or unkind ways. Do these characters’ unkind acts result in their unpleasant fates? Would nicer characters have survived the same situations? What other stories explore this notion? Is the author suggesting that it is a good idea to be a nice, well-behaved kid?
7. From “Eat a Bug” to “Hop to It,” bugs are a recurring image in the collection. Are bugs powerful? Why do humans feel vulnerable to these small creatures? What other stories involve or make reference to bugs? How does the author use the image of bugs to explore themes of large-versus-small in the world?
8. How are the power of knowledge and wrong-headed learning explored differently in “Mrs. Barunki” and “Head of the Class”? How do these notions play out in other stories in the collection? How can you be sure of what you know?
9. With what types of extraordinary powers does the author endow ordinary objects in “Sidewalk Chalk,” “Mug Shots,” and other stories? Do you have a penny, rabbit’s foot, or other object that you consider lucky or magical? Describe the object and the role it plays in your life. Is this rational?
10. “Predators” and “Cat Napped” surprise readers by reversing the perceived victims and villains. How are such reversals used in other stories in the collection? How is reversal an important literary device used throughout the book?
11. How do kids’ relationships with their parents play out in “Three” and “Murgopana”? Compare and contrast your attitudes toward your parents or guardians with the attitudes of the kids in stories from the collection.
12. Which stories in this book feature themes of destruction? Who are the destroyers in these tales? Which stories feature themes of desperation—of characters trapped in some sort of endless night or unsolvable riddle—and who are the desperate individuals? What conclusions might these tales lead you to draw about the author’s perspective on the power and plight of kids?
13. Are you scared of clowns? Of vampires or scary carnival rides? If you were going to write a story for this collection, what scary image, event, or character would you feature and why?
14. Is “Forgotten Monsters” the scariest story in the collection, or the least frightening? Why? How does this story make you reflect on yourself and your power as a reader of stories? How do “Mr Hoohaa!” and “Forgotten Monsters” create a logical frame for the rest of the stories in the collection?
15. What do you think are the most important themes or ideas that are carried through many stories in this collection? How do the book’s final tale and epilogue expand it from a scary-story collection to an exploration of words, writing, imagination, and the idea of reality?
This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, organizations, and events portrayed in these stories are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.
THE CURSE OF THE CAMPFIRE WEENIES AND OTHER WARPED
AND CREEPY TALES
Copyright © 2007 by David Lubar
Reader’s Guide copyright © 2007 by Tor Books
“Head of the Class” originally appeared in Boys’ Life, October 2004.
“Picking Up” originally appeared in Boys’Life, May 2004.
All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book, or portions thereof, in any form.
A Starscape Book
Published by Tom Doherty Associates, LLC
175 Fifth Avenue
New York, NY 10010
www.tor-forge.com
eISBN 9781429959698
First eBook Edition : June 2011
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Lubar, David.
The curse of the campfire weenies, and other warped and creepy tales /
David Lubar.—1st ed. p. cm.
“A Starscape book.”
Summary: Thirty-five creepy stories about pigeons, ancient predators,
Girl Scouts, and other terrifying things. Includes author’s notes on how he got his ideas for these stories.
ISBN-13: 978-0-7653-1807-7
ISBN-10: 0-7653-1807-5
1. Horror tales, American. 2. Children’s stories, American. [1. Horror stories. 2. Short stories.] I. Title.
PZ7.L96775Cu 2007
[Fic]—dc22
2007013584
First Edition: September 2007