“If we price the aprons cheap enough, people will buy more than one,” I say. “’Course, on the other hand, people may take one look at these, laugh and keep walking! We could have our heads up our—”
“Eve Moss, have some confidence,” Ruby commands. “There’s not a reason in the world this can’t work. It’s brilliant—we’re brilliant!”
“I…think so too. I wonder if this is how Mary Kay started.” When will I not worry about every little thing? Why is it I can’t let things be and not wonder myself silly?
“Johnny,” Ruby says. “He created a shampoo and lord knows the world certainly had enough of that to go around, and look how well they did.”
“You’re right…I’m getting caught up in negative stuff. It’s my nature, and I really need to—”
“Loosen up,” Ruby says, and I agree.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
All four ladies are down at the boathouse, busy at their machines, when Ruby and I walk in the following morning. There’s an air of camaraderie, and I know Sam’s had a big part in it. When the screen door slaps closed, the women look up and “good morning” us.
Johnny winks from the cutting table, then motions me over, handing me the electric sheers. I dig in. When I have a stack of parts cut out, Johnny, Marsha and Bonnie sew them together. They in turn pass that assembly to Sam, who sews on the tie-strings and pockets. Then she hands the result to Lilly, who adds lace to the bottom and to the pockets and finally all five of them take time out from using their machines to sew on buttons—by hand, no less! This also is when everyone chews the fat.
“Not a lick of sense in that man…His brakes were shot all to hell and he wouldn’t listen, no sir. No woman was going to tell him nothing about his macho-man truck,” Sam says while the ladies tsk-tsk. “Sure enough, he got a couple miles down the highway and had to run into a pile of brush to stop. A call come in…I knew it was him, so I let JJ answer it.”
“Well?” Marsha asks while pulling a long black thread through a button and biting the end off with her teeth. I walk over and hand her a scissors.
“I told JJ—he owns the body shop—that I would be more than happy to run over and tow Mr. So and So’s butt back to the garage.” Sam chuckles. “I drove up in that big old tow rig, started chaining up his truck—had his tail between his skinny legs. I asked him if he would be wanting his brakes fixed now and he thought that would be real nice.”
“My my…I sure admire you, Miss Sam,” Lilly lisps, peering over her glasses. “I lift the hood of my car and wonder how all that metal and tubes and filth gets me from one place to another.” Bonnie and Johnny nod their heads in agreement.
“I learned it all from a man I nearly did marry once,” Sam says to a suddenly still room. “Got to my senses at the last moment and not a minute too soon, either. Seems he liked my best girlfriend same as me. Walked in on the both of them doing their finest right there in my bed. Can you believe?” She shakes her head.
“My husband—Lud.” Lilly looks down at her work. “He was a wonderful man and I wouldn’t trade the years we shared for…” She looks over to the calendar of nearly naked men. “Well, for our Mr. August, I might.” We laugh.
“You are very lucky to have those memories, darling,” Ruby says sweetly.
“Looks like I’m the only one married,” Bonnie’s apologetic face glances at Johnny and he shrugs.
We all look at him; Sam says, “Don’t seem right—folks like Johnny and Howard can’t be.”
“When I married Al…” Bonnie pauses.
“Have you been together a long time?” I ask.
“Met Al in fourth grade. We were sweet on each other all the way through until high school,” Bonnie says. “Then he got two other girls pregnant and—”
“Two!” Marsha, Lilly and I say at the same time.
“He was good-looking and a charmer and…he made me laugh. We used to laugh,” Bonnie says as if to defend him. “Neither one of them ever had their babies, though.”
“Mmm mmm,” Sam murmurs.
“What in the world happened?” Lilly asks.
“Susan Beckerd was killed in a car crash and Laurie Fleming…she went away for a weekend with Al and came back with her belly flat as a pancake.”
“She give it up, or…?” Marsha asks, her voice rising a bit.
“She wasn’t all that far along. Al said later she wasn’t even carrying…But everyone knew,” Bonnie says, and I feel my eyebrows lurch.
“How in the world did you ever end up marrying him?” Lilly asks. “After getting two…I just can’t imagine.”
“It was a long time ago and honestly…he used to be…someone else. He started drinking and it’s changed him,” Bonnie says.
“Child, his hold over you is all he’s got left.” Sam pulls tight her yellow headband. “The anger he dishes out is festering like hot coals. Could burn you up if you don’t be careful.”
Bonnie nods in agreement. “I don’t know how to…”
“Are you in any danger, darling?” Ruby asks kindly and we all lean in as I think everyone is wondering the same thing.
“I can take care of myself. No, Al…he’s nothing to be afraid of…except when he’s smashed.”
“Oh boy.” I feel kind of sick. Knowing from listening to too many women over the years, booze can make a man dangerous.
Sam reaches over and pats Bonnie’s arm. “Things are going to change for you, sister. You just keep strong, baby. Things are going to be just fine.”
Before anyone can question Sam, as I sure as hell would like to, Lilly-the-taskmaster puts the pedal to the metal and everyone follows suit. I crank up Dean Martin and go into the kitchen area to help Ruby get lunch together. Everyone brought a dish to pass and from the looks of everything, we’ll always have leftovers!
Later, that night, Ruby and I are sitting around the stump table relaxing with a glass of wine after dinner.
“Hello?” I say into the yellow phone that hangs in the kitchen. I untwist the cord a bit so I can sit back down.
“Eve? It’s Bonnie. I…” she stammers and I can hear her take a sip of something that requires the tinkle of ice cubes. “Al’s over to his bar and I…”
“Oh boy,” I utter and mouth Bonnie’s name to Ruby. “You okay over there?”
“Oh sure…yeah…fine. I just was wondering if I could ask you something. About Al and all.”
“Sure. Of course.” I motion for Ruby to freshen my glass of wine pronto. “What’s on your mind?”
“I don’t have all your…well…strength. Wish I did, but I’m not made that way. But I’ve been having these thoughts and…”
“What kind of thoughts?”
“Like of doing to Al what he’s been doing…” Bonnie sputters out, then gathers herself up again, speaking more gravely. “He hurts me…sometimes, see? And I don’t know if I can take it much more. Sometimes it’s real bad and I—”
“Bonnie—Christ! There are places you can go—safe places—aren’t there? I mean no one needs to put up with that kind of—”
“You don’t know him; you have no idea who he knows, what he could do. He’d find me; he told me. He would.”
“Bonnie, you can stay here, or go to the mainland, or…how about family?” I’m wrapped up in the phone cord and Ruby has to help me get my legs untied as I take a puff from her cigarette.
“I don’t have family or close friends, never been social, and Al keeps a tight rope on me.” She speaks in a scoffing tone, but it comes out broken and way too old-sounding for such a young woman. “I needed to talk is all. Hey, thanks for the job and…” I hear her take a deep breath. “For listening.”
“Anytime. You call here anytime, you hear me? You sure you’re okay?”
“Yes, I’m fine, just fine now; good night then.”
“Good night, Bonnie. See you in the morning.” I hang up and pace. “She’s not safe there and now that we know her and all, I can’t help feeling responsible….”
&nb
sp; “You were bloody marvelous, darling. Sometimes just to talk is enough.”
“He’s hurting her, you know that.” I hold my stomach, feeling it churn at the thought of him hitting her. “I don’t know what to do.”
“Do? Oh, you can’t fix everything. All we can do is be here and let her know that she’s safe talking with us. That was very hard for her to do, ring us and talk about it. It’s a start. I’m not saying what’s going on over there is right, but it has to be up to her.”
“I don’t get it.” I feel helpless. “There are choices, there are…”
Choices? Like I had any all those years ago. A hot time with dream boy and I get secreted away without so much as a “see ya later, I’ll miss you, only daughter of mine.” Sure I loved my parents, but that’s one wound that still burns. No, hurts like hell is more like it. Bonnie isn’t a little girl and neither am I. Yet why do I feel this same helplessness I felt so long ago. Some memories I really would like to chuck.
“Love is such an odd mix of things, darling. She may see the man he was when he’s—”
“Beating the shit out of her!” I want to bust his greasy face. “You know, I need some fresh air. You want to maybe take a spin in the duck?”
“Love to.”
I stomp over to the barn and give the green button a good smack. The barn door slides open, I climb into the duck and pull it over to the back porch. Parking it, I head back into the kitchen where Ruby is waiting, wrapped in a sweater. Her hair is up in a scarf and she’s holding an armful of blankets. She hands me a pullover.
“What took you so long?” Ruby asks.
“Well, don’t just stand there…get your fanny in the duck and let’s find us an island with no men!”
“Let’s.”
We’re parked on a small island facing out to the lake. Which means it seems as though we’re all alone out here. I’ve built a nice fire and since Ruby thought to bring blankets, we’re all warm and snuggly.
“I can’t stop thinking about that bastard.” I poke the fire into higher flames.
“Well, I can’t change your thoughts.” Ruby digs into her pricey, zipped-up vest pocket. “But Sam said to bring this with tonight—and here…” She hands me a small envelope. “Open it.”
I tear it open and out falls a joint and a book of matches with JJ’S BODY SHOP on the front. “Oh for God’s sake—look what that rotten woman sent us!” I hold up the evidence. “I haven’t gotten high in…years.” We laugh. I look at her, then back at the joint. “What the hell.” I light it up, take a cautious puff, hand it to her. “Oh man,” I say and let out the smoke, real slow.
“She said we might be needing it.” Ruby holds up the joint as if it may bite. She takes a hefty puff. “I’m not sure I’ll ever get used to the idea of her always being a step or two ahead of the game,” she says in that strange voice you make when holding in a breath. (You know the one.)
“I had no idea you smoked. Pot, I mean.” I take it from her and have another toke.
“Oh, Ed and I tried it,” Ruby admits with dignity. “As I recall…we’d always end up in the bedroom.”
For some reason this is so funny that we both burst out giggling. I straighten up my back and have another. “I had no idea what pot even was until Watts left a joint at the shop once. It must have slid out of her bag and there it was on the floor in the break room.” I take the smoked-to-the-quick joint from her for a final hit. “What could I do? I couldn’t leave it there for Dorothy to find.”
“No darling, that would have been a horrible thing indeed!” Ruby nods way too much, then snorts. “Can you imagine Dorothy, with her glasses and all that hair…stoned? Oh my heavens and those bangs catching fire and…” We cackle into the starry-night air.
“What can we do for Bonnie?”
“Sometimes you have to surrender to life and let it take you.” Ruby repositions her scarf.
“Surrender?” I prod the fire more. It snaps and shoots a flame into the air. “I push and pull at life. Have forever and maybe I need to let things…”
“Unfold,” Ruby says for me. “We’re taught that life is something we need to wrestle and fight against. As I get older, I realize you can kick and punch all you like but things ultimately turn out as they’re supposed to…regardless.”
“Okay, so I’m a slow learner.”
“No, most of us never learn. We plod along in a state of…oh, I don’t know…sleepwalking.”
The fire fades to glowing embers. Chilly night air moves in around us. We kick sand to cover over the fire and giggle into the duck. There’s not a cloud above—the moon is hanging huge and low in the sky. The duck is equipped with intense headlights, so the drive home is easy as pie. The thought of pie makes me realize—oh, no munchies! I pull us into the barn; we dash through the backyard and into the kitchen.
“Thank God you don’t get a hangover from smoking weed.” I open cupboards, pull out several bags of chips and open a jar of pickles Ruby just pulled from the fridge.
She adds a plate of cookies and a round tin filled to the top with Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. I thump down at the table with a glass of milk. Ruby has a pickle hanging out of her mouth like a cigarette. Rocky is sprawled out on a side counter, his tail flapping, watching us with mild interest.
“These are better with a dab more peanut butter.” I slather on a gob. “I think I need extra protein…seem to crave it.” I start to giggle, goo dribbling down my chin.
“Well…well.” Ruby’s eyes have become slits. We yawn. “I think we’re crashing—darling.”
“How about you head up to bed and let me deal with this.” I point to the remnants of our munch-fest.
“Good thinking.” Ruby kisses the top of my head, then drifts away.
I roll the tops of chip bags and secure them with clothespins, snap the lid back on the peanut butter cups and put everything away. As I climb the stairs, I notice that one of the pictures of Adeline and Gustave is crooked. While straightening it and thinking that some things should really be packed away, I notice that in the picture they’re standing next to a little log cabin. Where have I seen…? I remember the model. There must be a cabin back in the woods somewhere.
I drift into my room, snap on the lamp next to my bed and thump into the pillows. My God, what a day. Poor Bonnie, why can’t women just—There doesn’t seem to be an easy answer. Never is, not really. Things are so much more complicated when you lift all the edges up and really look. Smiling, I recall her in those pink curlers.
I hope my daughter’s not in that kind of a situation. Sounds so odd: “my daughter”—Amy. Wonder if the new mom kept that name. I wonder myself to sleep.
CHAPTER TWENTY
I open my eyes, look over to the cat-clock and see it’s only a bit past seven. Getting up, putting Rocky on the floor, I hunt for my robe. The smell of coffee lures me to the kitchen. On the stairway, I hear Ruby’s voice coming from down below.
“…Not to worry, darling…Yes, yes, I’m sure it will pass over and…All right, then…Good-bye.” Ruby hands me the phone to hang up as I walk into the kitchen.
“Sam rang up to tell us she and Lilly will be a little late this morning. There’s a storm brewing, so she thought the ferries might be running late.” She pours coffee.
“I thought I heard some thunder earlier this morning.” I sit down at the stump table and spin on a squeaky stool.
“Sam said something else I thought a bit odd.” Ruby sits down next to me. “That Bonnie is going to be needing—”
Just then the phone rings. “Hello?”
“Eve…it’s Bonnie.” She sounds odd. “There’s been an…accident…and Al…” Now she starts sobbing and not making any sense whatsoever. I’m getting really bad vibes here.
“Did he…hurt you?” I manage to stammer out while standing up, then slamming down my mug. Ruby heads over with a dishrag in one hand and Rocky slung over her other arm.
“He tried to…” She’s gasping for air and I feel my
skin go clammy. “He wanted to…” She snivels, sighs long and slow and then nothing—silence. She whispers in a voice I doubt I’ll ever forget: “He’ll never, ever hurt me again. Never.” The finality of that sends chills through me. I tighten my robe.
“Oh no…Bonnie.” I sit back down. “Is…he there now?” Something tells me I don’t want an answer to this.
“Yes…but…no.”
“Oh, boy…oh shit.” I let Ruby know I need a smoke. She lights up two and puts one in my mouth. “Just where is Al—exactly?”
“Facedown, next to the stove.” I gasp. “He hasn’t moved. I felt his neck…nothing there but…cold.”
“Cold?” My stomach roils.
“Well, see…” Bonnie’s voice rises and she starts talking really fast. “He came home this morning stinking drunk. It’s not that unusual for him to pass out at his bar and then crawl home the next day.”
“Oh Bonnie.” The poor thing.
“So he comes in and I’m vacuuming, and he gets all hands and dirty words and grabbing at me and calling me a good-for-nothing, dried-up bitch! And you know, something happened—something snapped inside of me and I wasn’t me anymore. I wasn’t there anymore…. It was like I was watching from the ceiling. He kept shoving and pushing me, so I hit him with the vacuum cleaner tube and…” Her voice begins to squeak. “I honestly didn’t hit him that hard. I’m not very strong, you know. But then…this weird look came over his face and his eyes went white-like and he…he…he went…like…it seemed like…he wasn’t there anymore and then he just kind of melted onto the floor.”
She takes a deep breath and sobs out, “I don’t know how…I feel like I broke apart and part of me went away and part of me didn’t and that part…that part…watched. I couldn’t stop watching. I—” She breaks off sobbing in big mournful heaves.
“Oh…my…God.” The picture plays out in my mind. Ruby is shaking my arm, telling me to listen for a second. “Um…hang on, Bonnie,” I say gently. “Don’t go anywhere, okay?”
“Okay,” Bonnie whispers. I cup the mouthpiece and am pacing—thinking. My skin is clammy and I have the worst dry mouth ever. I feel sick.
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