Mason made a half-awake noise that meant “Whatever, dude. Just lay down and shut up. I’m almost asleep.” I reached out in the darkness and tugged Von down next to me, unwilling to let the threesome I had landed myself in get all weird. “Goodnight, big brother.”
Von pulled the comforter up to his chin and whispered, “Goodnight, little peach.” His lips were drawn forward, brushing me with a light goodnight kiss that brought a sleepy smile to my face. My shorts left my kneecap exposed for Von to tickle the sensitive flesh there, just to make me squirm. He slid his hand between mine to keep me from scratching while I slept.
That night I closed my eyes with Mason’s hand around my ribs and a fraction of peace in my heart that had not been there before. I was learning to soften in small amounts, and the shift felt like the kind of breathing that normal people do. I don’t know why I’d wasted so much time afraid to draw in that breath. With tranquility in my lungs, I knew that no matter what sort of warfare greeted us when we woke, Von and Mason would be there. Von was the big brother who wouldn’t leave before I was ready. Mason was the… the thing I wasn’t ready to examine just yet. But one fact was sure: I wouldn’t have to pretend that being alone was what I wanted.
21
Hallucination Harlot
I had never been a deep sleeper. In fact, I’d been a frequent tosser and turner before I’d started going to bed with my Reapers. When my eyes closed in Mason and Von’s arms, I inhaled what finally felt like fresh air to my soul. Even though we were inside my house, tucked in my bed, the freshness found me. It was new possibilities, new hope. I had been surviving on my own for so long in a world where I was constantly too young, too poor and too… just too much and still never enough.
Somehow in Mason’s arms, I felt like the too much I always assumed myself to be wasn’t scary or overwhelming at all. I wasn’t too much for Mason, the zombie-slayer. It was a thought so peaceful, I never dared to think that a life like this could be mine.
Mason had his larger hand palming my ribs while he spooned me with his much taller body. Every inch I shifted, he compensated for, even in sleep. I knew so little about him, but this Duwende bond was bonkers. His level breathing calmed me, and though there was a lot of sexual tension between us, I relaxed against his hairy chest. Von’s steady minty cigar breath tickled my nose, making me smile as I mused that even in sleep, Von was precious to me.
So peaceful was I that I almost didn’t see the yellow caterpillar. I almost didn’t catch the miniscule movement as it inched across the nightstand.
My tiny intake of breath was quickly countered by my eyes shutting tight, so as not to give away that I’d made Prince Langgam’s spy. My house had been breached, if I understood the implications correctly.
“Von,” I whispered, my eyes still shut. When he didn’t stir, I nudged the leg he had looped between my knees. “Von, could you get me a glass of water?”
“What? Not now, baby. I’m sleeping.”
I pursed my lips at his too flirty slip, blaming it on the late hour. “Von, I really need a glass of water. Come to think of it, I’m hungry. Could we go get something to eat?” The guys had been threatened by Titus, the Goblin King. Though he was dead, I didn’t know who his allies were. I’m guessing since Lang was spying on me, I couldn’t count him among the list of my allies. Then there was the mysterious slasher-of-humans enemy who was impatiently waiting for me to go back to work. The anonymous villain who’d murdered the man in the hospital wanted me to reap till I dropped day after day, while he killed civilians to motivate me, the jerk. I hoped that wasn’t Prince Langgam’s doing, but I knew it could be any person on the council. I wouldn’t let anyone take Mason or Von and slice them up for parts. My veins went cold when I thought of the casual way Titus had mentioned abducting Mariang.
But I’d been cooperating. Didn’t they see? Why was Lang spying on me now?
I rolled over and whispered in Mason’s ear, “Mason, I need you to wake up.”
My lips brushed his facial hair and tickled his ear, rousing him only halfway. He turned his head and pressed his puckered lips to mine. Despite my growing determination to get everyone out without alerting Lang, the kiss jerked me into the tryst that had been interrupted earlier. Though it was dark in my room, I started seeing little bursts of the familiar red and yellow as our lips moved together. He smelled like glittering red – I’m not sure how else to describe it. I breathed in each of his exhales as if it was the sweetest, most erotic scent, letting out a moan when he bit my lip. The flutes started their song of seduction, and I was a goner.
“Not cool, mates. I’ll take the couch.” Von made to sit up, but my arm shot out and dragged him down.
I whispered into his ear, “Pack up the car and get Mariang and Danny to the garage. Lang’s spy is watching us.”
“Huh?”
Mason was kissing my neck, and I nearly lost my grasp on the English language. My back arched as I released Von. “Do it,” I squeaked out. Mason’s hand slid down under the covers and gripped my hip possessively.
Von shot out of bed and made a scene of packing a few bags and leaving because of our totally inappropriate display. Not sure how much of an act that was, really. I tried to clue Mason in to the audience we still had, but I could barely locate my body when he kissed my lips again, this time with renewed passion. Von was gone, and we had a whole bed to sew our regrets into. His hands intuited where to move along my body to advance to the next step and the next. It was obvious he’d been married and was used to reaching the end of the dance I’d only just been invited to.
When I heard him murmur “Kara” under his breath, it was just the cold shower I needed. I pulled back, the colors and the flutes deserting me as if they never existed. “What did you just call me?”
Mason looked high as he rolled on top of me, kissing with yet more passion that tugged and ripped at my insides. What had felt the best kind of incredible before was now a jumbled mess. It felt like I was juggling a ball of nails that couldn’t help but cut me.
“Mason, we have to stop. We have to…” When his lips didn’t part from mine, I slammed my foot on the brakes, rolling away from him and toward the caterpillar I tried not to see. I looked up and saw in the dim moonlight that Mason’s hands were still reaching for me. I wasn’t sure what I wanted right then, but I knew for certain I was getting off this ride before I became a roller coaster roadkill statistic. “No more!”
“I need to see her!”
“Stop!” My outstretched hand commanded him clearly, now that his hallucination was beginning to lift. His breath came out in almost animalistic snorts, and I wondered if he was about to transition into a wolf or something. “I’m serious! We need to get some air. This is too fast. It’s too much!”
Mason nodded once, his hand slapping his cheek a few times to send a little lucidity into his haze. Then dread twisted his features as he backed off the bed, moving to the opposite side of the room. “What just happened?! What was that? I saw her when I kissed you just then. I wasn’t sure the first time, but I definitely saw her!”
“Who? Your wife?”
“Yes! I saw Kara!” he exclaimed, his eyes wide in shock, and then wider still at the horror he’d unwittingly slammed into me.
“You saw your wife? I didn’t see anyone, and you saw your wife? You kiss me, and you see another woman?”
“I, um, I didn’t mean it like that.”
“How exactly did you mean it?”
“October, I wasn’t trying to think of her. It’s the hallucinations! I can’t control what I see. Ask Danny.”
I was thunderstruck, and totally beyond being able to pick my jaw up off the floor. “Get some air. This isn’t good. I…” I searched around for anything that would get him to go into the other room with Von. “I need a glass of water.”
Mason stood from the bed, shaking his head to right himself as he stumbled out of the room with me. He was clearly upset I was pushing him away from a connection too powe
rful for either of us to handle without sturdy gloves and bulletproof vests. “Are you mad? I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have blurted it out like that.”
“Just shelve it for now.” The lights were off in the living room, and I wondered if Von actually had gone to sleep on the sofa. The whispered shouts coming from Ollie’s bedroom clued me in to his whereabouts.
Danny all but ran out of the bedroom with his duffel and a bag for Mariang. “I’m going to get a pizza. Anyone hungry?” Danny called through the house.
“I am.” Mason raised a finger. “Can’t we turn on the lights?”
“Mariang’s got a migraine, so just deal with the darkness. Mason, go get in the car.” Danny was frustrated that Mason clearly had no clue what was going on.
I pushed past them, casting Danny a knowing look in the dark. The fear that painted Danny was starting to seep into me. I bolted into my bedroom and fished through my things for the essentials, keeping my head down so Wilbur the yellow caterpillar didn’t alert his boss. “I’m so cold,” I commented, so it looked like I was searching for a change of warmer clothes rather than packing a few days’ worth of my things, Mason’s and Von’s.
Von was onboard and alert, dashing to the kitchen to retrieve his stash of blood. Danny and I had everyone packed in a matter of minutes. My heart was pounding like footsteps of doom stalking toward an untimely demise. Middle of the night escapes weren’t part of the job description, yet here we were.
I didn’t like Danny touching the small of my back, but it was either that or let him hold my hand. The very notion of people touching my hands gave me the icks, and I sensed we didn’t have time for habitual handwashing right now.
My curtains were only half-shut, and my hands grew clammy when I worried one of the guards might peer in and see me. I didn’t much care for being a fugitive in my own home, but that was the feeling that crept over me like so many spiders tapping me on the shoulder.
“Stop!” I whispered. “I forgot something.”
“It can all be replaced. We have to go now!” Danny’s hand on my back wrapped around me and gripped my side.
I felt only medium bad for shoving him as I broke away and darted into the kitchen. Quick as I could, I reached up into the cupboard I kept my medication in. I snatched down the bottle and buried the prescription in my messenger bag I had slung over my shoulder. I knew there were twenty-two pills remaining. That’s twenty-two days I had left before I needed to get my prescription filled again. Hopefully this mess would be sorted long before that.
Von met us by the door to the attached garage with Mariang, his finger pressed to his lips. Mariang was in tears on her surrogate brother’s arm, clinging to Von while she tried to hold herself together in the dark. We’d escaped Wilbur in my bedroom, but there were the outside guards to contend with, so we moved in silence through the dark in the garage as best we could.
“Keys,” Danny demanded of me in a whisper. When I hesitated, he explained, “Your car can handle a chase better than mine if it comes to it. Plus, you’ve got more trunk space. You three can squeeze in the trunk until we get to Ezra’s.” He shot Von an apologetic look. “I don’t think I could fit in there, and I know Mason can’t. He’s having trouble shapeshifting.”
I wanted to argue as panic welled up in me, but we all sensed the urgency of not getting out at all if we hemmed and hawed over seating arrangements. I slipped back into the house, ran down the hallway and yanked Ollie’s comforter off the bed. Mariang was so fragile looking, I didn’t want to think what could happen to her dainty bones if Danny hit a pothole too hard.
The garage was spotless and free of clutter, since I scrubbed it once a month. My box of surgical gloves and gym gear were put in the backseat. Von and Danny shoved as many things as they could under the seat and inside the spare tire storage area under the floor of my trunk. I spread out the comforter, making sure to cover every spot we would be laying on, so we didn’t bang anything too hard.
“You first,” I instructed Von in a whisper as I scratched at my hands. “There’s the most room toward the back, so we can stack up that way.”
When Von was flattened in the furthest corner of the trunk, Danny and I exchanged worried glances at how little space there was left. “You really can’t shift?”
Mason’s slate eyes were panicked, not quite sure what was going on. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me! Something’s not working right!”
Danny took control. “Get in the passenger’s seat, Mason. If Langgam’s spy made it past security… We have to get out of here now, preferably without alerting the guards. You and I are going on a pizza run. Everyone else is asleep inside.”
I let Danny steady me with his hand on my elbow as I stepped inside the trunk. When I’d picked out Terence, I certainly didn’t base my purchase on how many bodies would fit inside. It was too tight for comfort, and too small not to conjure up old fears I’d tried to bury long ago. Images of my childhood I’d rather never think about flooded up in me. They choked me with claustrophobia, and let me know I would never fully move on from the trauma.
There wasn’t enough room next to me left for Mariang, so Danny picked her up like a child and laid her atop me, my hands doing their best to fasten around her like a seatbelt.
Mariang was tiny. I mean, I knew it by looking at her that she was barely a size two, but feeling her feather-like weight atop me made me want to force-feed her pure lard just so she didn’t get knocked over by a stiff breeze. She was a couple inches taller than me, but she felt so much smaller. I moved her hair out of her eyes, feeling the wet from her tears. “It’s okay, sister. Just pretend we’re going camping, okay? Normal families do that. That’s all this is. Just going camping.” I kissed her temple, catching Danny’s eye. He nodded to me, grateful he could trust his most valuable treasure with me for an hour.
Danny tucked a duffel filled with clothes next to my feet. The rest would have to go on the floor in the backseat while we crossed our fingers in hopes that the guards wouldn’t notice. Danny brushed his hand over Mariang’s face, and she cried harder, though still silently. He leaned his head into the trunk and brushed his lips against hers. “Hey. It’s alright. Have I ever not taken care of you?”
She reached out and gripped his hand. It was a simple gesture, but the intensity of their connection manifested itself in an unmistakable beam between them that could not be severed.
Danny gingerly shut the trunk, encasing us in the dark as I swallowed my scream.
22
Shoved in a Trunk
Bev had a hard time keeping promises, which was why I didn’t ask her for many. Ollie and Allie had it in them that adults should be held accountable for the things they said to kids, but that expectation only lent to more fighting between them and Bev, and more hiding from me. Totally not worth it.
Ollie, Allie and I shared the smaller of the two rooms in the trailer Bev had overrun with stuff she couldn’t part with. Sharing a room with your sisters probably wasn’t Ollie’s ideal living situation, but he made it work. Allie was seven years older than me, and took the mantle of momming me when I needed it. We had bunk beds, and the rule was that Bev could junk up the rest of the house, so long as the bathroom and our bedroom were left alone.
It didn’t take long for the bathroom to become unusable. No matter how often the three of us cleaned it and moved stuff out, Bev only saw opportunity for conquest in every inch made available. So Ollie made an arrangement with the trailer two down from ours. He never told us what it cost him, but he rigged it so that the three of us could shower there every morning in Mrs. Kitsa’s bathroom. She was a nice old sweetie who sometimes set homemade blueberry muffins on the counter for us in the mornings. She loved to pinch my cheeks and pat the top of my head. Often she confused me with her daughter and called me Heather. She fed me, so I let her call me whatever she liked, since it seemed to make her happy. I’m not sure she ever knew my actual name.
The trailer park had a communal public bathr
oom near the play yard for us to use the toilet. The bathroom in our trailer was filled to capacity a week after we’d laid down our no-junk-in-the-bathroom edict, and I haven’t seen the toilet since. I’m thinking it was ivory.
The fragile system was functional until the great Helzermann’s closeout deal. Helzermann’s was an odds and ends store not too far from us. It had craft supplies, books, a small non-perishables section and basic home goods throughout. When the store went under, everything was discounted to the hilt, which meant it was open season for Bev.
I didn’t even look in the bags that were stacked around our bedroom when I came home from school that afternoon. One look, and I knew it would be World War III between Ollie, Allie and Bev. When the two entered in after me, the yelling started.
I don’t remember much about the fight between them. I was only six at the time. All I knew was that I had to get out of there. Using the carefully honed method of moving through the overcrowded home, I scampered away from their fight, burrowing myself in one of the piles of clothes. The mountain of Bev’s outfits stretched all the way to the ceiling. She didn’t like wearing the same thing too many times. Her brightly colored garments were my safe place where I could tuck myself away until the fighting stopped. Some of the shirts were so new, they didn’t even smell like cat urine yet.
It was a long fight, and eventually I fell asleep in the pile. When Ollie’s shouts turned fearful and the sound of Allie’s tearful beckoning reached me, it was evening, and dark in that part of the house. I tried to climb out of the mountain and run to them, but I was disoriented and took the wrong route to our room. I ran smack into the wall of garbage, which also reached to the ceiling.
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