by E. N. Joy
Locksie shook her head and smiled because she had heard Dawson say that before. As a matter of fact, that’s what he had told her the night he finally talked her into giving up her virginity.
If Locksie learned anything at all from the dozens of churches her mother dragged her to, she learned that they all agreed on one thing: fornication was just as great a sin as any. No man or woman should lay down with another person sexually unless that other person is their partner in marriage. Sex outside of marriage was forbidden. So for years, Locksie had kept her mouth open and her legs closed in declaring such—not because she believed it herself, but because it had been instilled in her with a fear of going to hell. But eventually she threw that concept out of the window; and not soon enough.
By the time she met Dawson, she had dated two boys. The first had been her high school sweetheart from back in Michigan. They started dating their senior year, which was when Locksie was allowed to start dating boys. Although most of her friends were allowed to date at age 16, Locksie didn’t miss it because she didn’t have time for a boyfriend anyway. Her mother had kept her busy with school activities such as cheerleading and volleyball, and church activities such as the youth choir. Last time she counted, she had been a member of five choirs. Still involved in each of these activities once she started dating Ishmael, Locksie never had enough time to have sex with him even if she had wanted to.
The day the letter from The Ohio State University arrived, informing Locksie that she had been granted an academic scholarship along with the volleyball scholarship she had already earned, she couldn’t wait to pack her bags and get away from her church-hopping mother and church itself.
Locksie’s mother couldn’t stand that her daughter would be leaving home, but there was a sense of security knowing that her sister, who had also moved to Columbus, Ohio, years ago to attend OSU and still remained there, would be able to watch over Locksie.
Locksie hated leaving Ishmael behind, but felt that since they were only a four-hour drive away from each other, they could see one another a few times a month. Plus, there were always cell phones and the Internet. But after the first year of their long-distance relationship, the two realized that it wasn’t going to work, especially when Locksie found out that Janelle, a girl who used to be on the cheerleading squad with Locksie, had been satisfying needs that Locksie had never taken the time to realize Ishmael had.
After that, Locksie was so hurt and confused that she buried herself deeper into her college work and volleyball. She cut off the few friends she had, and since then, never really trusted other women enough to have them around her—or her man, for that matter. By her senior year, Locksie met Samson, a young professor from another university who had come to one of her classes as a guest lecturer. In this relationship, Samson seemed to be the busy one. Later, Locksie would find out that it was his wife and two kids that kept him so busy. Fortunately for Locksie, she found out the night before she planned to have sex with him, but not before spending what little funds she did have on what she called her “sex me” kit from Victoria’s Secret. It was a couple of jazzy pieces of lingerie and some bath and body products all stored in the cutest overnight bag she had also purchased. Needless to say, Locksie returned it all to the store and substituted it for what she would soon call her “poor me” kit. Unlike the “sex me” kit, this one consisted of all of her favorite snacks and desserts in a brown paper bag.
Locksie spent months of depression and burying her troubles in one too many “poor me” kits. She was trying to figure out why the men she chose had chosen someone other than her to please them sexually. This was the reason Locksie ended up joining the gym where she met Dawson.
With Dawson’s well-built physique, Locksie couldn’t keep from getting moist as she worked out, and it wasn’t from the sweat of five sets of twenty stomach crunches he had her doing. It was from the touching of her body Dawson would have to do every now and then to position her to do a specific exercise. She often found herself having to hit the cold shower after her training with Dawson.
It wasn’t that Locksie didn’t want to have sex. She had left behind most of that mess about sin and fornication when she left Michigan. She wasn’t about to become as mixed up as she felt her mother was when it came to religion. This was one reason why she had always been so quick to turn down her aunt Mary’s previous invites to church. But after dating Dawson for a few months, Locksie found herself, after an hour of heavy petting, dry sex and a bunch of trash talk in each other’s ear, in a position to finally go all the way. Right at the last minute, though, she got scared and tried to throw up all the things she could remember about what the church used to say regarding sex outside of marriage. Of course Locksie couldn’t have cared less about the church’s opinion, but she felt better using that instead of the truth. The truth was that after seeing Dawson’s manhood in the flesh, she was scared out of her mind to let something of that size enter her.
Dawson countered her preaching and concerns about sinning with, “But you said it yourself; Jesus died on a cross for your sins. Don’t you at least want to commit one sin so that his dying wouldn’t be in vain?”
Now, as Locksie sat in her aunt Mary’s church, she chuckled at Dawson’s persistence, followed by a quiver at the thought of how good he had felt inside of her the first time they had sex, and the many times to follow.
Locksie thought that she was going to hell for sure as she looked around the church, wondering if there was anyone there who could read her mind . . . one of those prophet people. She had to be the biggest sinner of the bunch, sitting there in church reminiscing about sinning . . . with a smile on her face, no less.
“Before we go into praise and worship,” Brother Wilkerson said, interrupting Locksie’s thoughts, “Evangelist Jonna is going to come forth with our mission statement, followed by Sister Brown with scripture.”
Brother Wilkerson handed the cordless microphone over to a woman dressed in a purple satin skirt suit with purple snakeskin pumps to match. She asked the congregation to repeat the church mission statement after her, and proceeded to recite it. After that, she handed the microphone over to another woman, who asked that everyone turn to Ecclesiastics 12:13.
“Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man,” she read. She then informed the congregation that it was time for praise and worship. The keyboard player, who had been playing softly throughout the recital of the mission statement and the reading of the scripture, was joined by a drum player and an electric guitarist. As the musicians began to play, the church choir filed in from the double doors on the side of the sanctuary and into their places in the choir stand, which was the third level of the pulpit area.
“God has been so good to me, I praise Him,” they sang as they clapped their hands and stomped their feet.
Pretty soon, the entire congregation was on their feet, joining in on the tune that was sung to the beat of George Benson’s “On Broadway.” Locksie subconsciously began to sing along as if she had been singing the song her entire life. She couldn’t remember the last time she had sent praises up to God, but it sure felt good.
Locksie hated for that song to end, but was happy when the choir immediately went into another upbeat song of praise. Next a male soloist led them into a song of worship that brought tears to Locksie’s eyes. At first she was embarrassed to be standing there crying like a big baby, but then she looked around and noticed that no one was paying her any attention, and that other folks were crying too. Some people even had their eyes closed as they extended their arms up in the air.
Tears poured down her face as she began to witness how the same thing that was moving inside of her was also moving in others as well. She wished she had put a tissue in her purse. She remembered seeing a box of tissues on one of the pews and another in the hands of an usher, but neither box was made available to her, so she wiped her tears away as best she could with her hands. By the time the song ended, Locksie had managed to re
gain her composure, but that was before the lady in purple introduced the dance ministry.
Locksie stood to her feet in awe at the sight of her aunt Mary exiting from the same doors the choir had come through. She was followed by three other women wearing silky white skirts that flowed down to the floor, and matching shirts with sleeves that flared like an angel’s wings. Each woman wore a sky blue sheer sash around her waist.
“Ask the person next to you: Will you still say yes?” The words hummed from the speakers as the women began to move in sync.
“Auntie,” Locksie mumbled softly as she covered her mouth with her hand. Locksie realized that she had been so wrapped up in the praise and worship that she had forgotten all about looking for her aunt.
The liturgical dancers couldn’t have been thirty seconds into the song before more than half the church was on their feet, being questioned as to whether or not their hearts, spirits, minds and souls would say “yes” to the Lord.
Locksie watched as her aunt gracefully danced from one end of the sanctuary to the other. It was just absolutely beautiful. All the tears she had managed to wipe away somehow returned. She had no idea her aunt could dance like that; that anybody could dance like that, for that matter. All of the women were like one, dancing with such conviction on their faces. It was so powerful that before Locksie knew it, by the middle of the song, she was shouting out, “Yes, Lord, yes!”
“All God wants is yes,” the vocalist assured Locksie.
So a heartwrenching, “Yes!” is what Locksie gave the Lord as she cried out and fell to her knees. Locksie had no idea what she was experiencing, and wished someone would have just come and wrapped their arms around her, but they didn’t. Instead, she just stayed on her knees, crying until the song faded out, hating that she had missed seeing her aunt and the dancers minister the remainder of the song.
When Locksie finally felt a warm embrace, she knew it was her aunt Mary. She smelled the Michael Kors perfume she always wore long before she felt her touch.
“Let Him have his way,” Mary told her niece as she wrapped her arms around her.
Locksie could hear others crying out, “Yes!” and Jesus’ name as the church remained in the presence of the Lord. After what seemed like forever, the pastor finally took his place behind the podium.
“I wanted to move on earlier, but I couldn’t.” He apologized for the delay in the delivery of his word. “I couldn’t move until the Holy Spirit said it was time to move. And, saints, you know that we’ll never interrupt worship for anything.”
“That’s all right, Pastor Clevens,” someone called out.
“Yes!” the pastor began to yell. “Yes!”
Once again, the church was in an uproar with cries of “Yes.”
“Yes!” Pastor Clevens continued to yell out as folks fell out.
By now, Mary had helped Locksie up off her knees and to a sitting position on the pew. She kept her arms around her, rocking as they tuned in to the pastor’s message.
“Like the song says, when you say yes, you might have to give up some things you hold dear to you. You might have to give up some relationships.”
“Oh, God.” A woman rose up out of her seat and began running back and forth across the front of the church.
“I dare you to just run around this place and say yes to the Lord!” the pastor shouted. Upon his command, a few others leaped up as if they had no control over their flesh and just let the spirit move them. One woman even ran around the entire church.
“Dance ministry, that couldn’t have been a more perfect selection for today’s message,” Pastor Clevens said, wiping his forehead with a cloth the woman in purple had handed him. “Because this Sunday, the word from God to you is ‘when.’ ” He looked around the sanctuary. “Oooh, I see some confused faces and I see some faces trying to hide because you know I’m about to drive down your street.”
There was some subtle laughter amongst the congregation.
“When are you going to stop trying to live the life you want to live and live the life God wants you to live? When?” the pastor shouted. “When are you going to stop trying to get all the materialistic things the world has to offer and start seeking after what God already has for you? Can I get an amen?” Pastor Clevens stomped, after only receiving only a couple of amens. “Aw, I knew I wasn’t going to get too many amens on that one,” he chuckled. “ ‘But, Pastor, I worked hard for my big house and my big car and this fine jewelry. I deserve it.’ Ain’t that right, Sister Washington?”
“You right about it,” Sister Washington answered, raising her hand.
“I’m not saying you shouldn’t have nice things. God don’t want you to have no junk. God wants you to have a nice car . . . so that you can drive to church in it and pick up a few folks along the way.” Amens rang out. “Remember back in the day when your neighbor went out and bought a new car, typically a Cadillac, which was referred to as their Sunday car because they only drove it to show off for church? Well, guess what? You might have thought they were showing off for church, but they were really showing up for God and showing out by showing others what God had done for them. He made it so that they could afford a vehicle that nice. If you drive a hooptie, you better start believing in bigger things because He’s able, church! He’s able!”
“He’s able,” members echoed, jumping to their feet.
“Faith is the belief in things hoped for but not seen, says the Bible,” the pastor continued. “So, when are you going to start having faith that the Lord can use you? When are you going to start letting the Lord use you? When? When are you going to make a conscious decision to get right with God? I know, I know. Y’all saying, ‘But pastor, I got to get right with myself before I can get right with God.’ The devil is a liar! Because guess what? You can’t get right without Him!”
The church began to shout out in agreement with the pastor. His words struck a chord with Locksie, seeing how she had used that very same excuse with her aunt Mary.
“So again, I ask, when? When are you going to say ‘yes’?” the pastor asked.
“Yes,” could be heard from every corner of the sanctuary.
By the time the pastor finished delivering his message, Locksie felt as if she was alone in the sanctuary and that the pastor had been talking to her and only her. She was moved beyond words. She felt as though God had truly sent her a word through the man in the pulpit.
The pastor wiped his mouth with his cloth and then took a deep breath. “I don’t ever want to take it for granted that everyone in the room is saved,” the pastor said as the keyboard player began a soft tune. “So, I need every head bowed and every eye closed.” He paused for a moment. Obviously not everyone in the sanctuary had done as they were instructed because he then said, “Come on, saints, be obedient. There’s nothing to see. I need every head bowed and every eye closed.” The pastor waited until everyone had obliged. “If there is anyone in the room today that is not saved and would like to get saved, please raise your hand. If you didn’t know before, but now believe that Jesus Christ is your Lord and Savior—that the Son of God died on a cross to wash away your sins and was then resurrected from the grave—if you now want to accept Jesus Christ into your life, raise your hand. If you want to say ‘yes,’ raise your hand.” After asking that same question a couple more times, the pastor said, “Now, for those of you who raised your hand, I ask you to make your way down to the altar.”
Locksie looked over at her aunt Mary. Although she hadn’t raised her hand, at that moment, that day, that hour, that second, she wanted nothing more than to accept Jesus Christ into her life. She wanted nothing more than the power she had just witnessed the Lord give her aunt to minister His Word through dance and the glory that shown all over her while she did it. She wanted nothing more than to allow God to use her the way He had used the man in the pulpit—to touch someone else’s life. She wanted it bad.
So, without even confirming verbally what Mary knew she saw in her niece’s e
yes, she said, “I’ll go with you.”
Locksie reached for the hand that Mary held out to her, and they both stood and made their way down the aisle.
“Hallelujah,” the woman next to Locksie shouted, grateful that another soul was being saved.
“Thank You, Jesus,” someone else called out.
When Locksie joined the other two people at the altar, the pastor asked them to raise their hands in surrender. “Romans 10:9 says that if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised Him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.” The pastor noticed the puzzled look on Locksie’s faced and answered the question that it asked. “Yes, that’s it. You didn’t know getting saved was that easy, huh?”
Locksie’s eyes welled up with tears. Once again, it was as if the pastor was reading her mind, reading her life.
“It’s okay, daughter. I know what you’re thinking. Jesus had to go through and to hell, and all you have to do is say yes. All you have to do is to believe that he did it and that he did it for you.”
Locksie’s knees gave out. Immediately, the members of the altar ministry, along with Mary, held her up. They weren’t about to let her go down without first seeing to it that her soul was all right.
“Repeat after me,” the pastor instructed, and those at the altar for salvation did just that. “I accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. I believe that the Lord Jesus Christ died at Calvary for the remission of my sins. I believe in thine heart that God hath raised Him from the dead.”
After the three individuals at the altar repeated what the pastor had recited, the pastor said to them, “Your souls are now saved. You have the promise of eternal life.”