by Giselle Fox
“It’s getting warmer in here already,” Cate said.
Lexi nodded. She laid her head down on her elbow and looked at Cate.
“Well, this is an adventure,” Cate said and chuckled.
“I’m really sorry about this,” Lexi said.
“I’m not. I just wish you’d brought this thing out sooner.”
Lexi nodded again and lowered her eyes. The space around them felt very close, like the storm was somewhere else and not a half an inch away bearing down on the tarp that was slung above them. Now that the wind was off their bodies, the warmth began to seep in. Cate shifted her legs back onto the narrow mat beneath them. Her legs slid up Lexi’s. They’d frozen to avoid the closeness, Cate knew it. She also knew that the closeness was exactly what they both craved. She watched Lexi’s eyes flicker. She listened to the changes in her breath. Lexi had focused on a point above her as if to try to imagine that Cate wasn’t there.
The tiny light cast their skin in deep red tones. The shadows of their legs were illuminated. Cate watched the rise and fall of Lexi’s chest and belly as she breathed. The air inside the bag had warmed around them and that warmth was beginning to reach it’s way down like fingers slowly creeping over their bodies.
“Why didn’t you bring this out sooner?” Cate whispered.
Lexi looked at her, into her eyes. The acknowledgment of what was being asked was all there. “I wasn’t sure.”
“Are you sure now?”
“I’m positive. I just don’t think it’s a good idea.”
“Why?”
Lexi sighed and leaned her head back.
“I’m just curious. We’re both stuck here, we’re both cold, we’re both feeling... something, I think. I know I am, at least.”
Lexi raised herself up on her elbow. She stared down into Cate’s eyes. Cate was sure she was about to be kissed, but Lexi simply reached out her hand and stroked her thumb down the side of her face instead.
“There are all the things that I want to do and then there are the reasons why I shouldn’t. I can’t say any more than that.”
Cate felt her frustration begin to build. “You’re serious? Look at us right now.”
Lexi did look, agonizingly slow. Her eyes rolled down Cate’s face, over her lips, down her chin. When they reached her breasts, which she knew were standing straight on end, she could practically feel them roll over her nipples. The anguish of that sensation made her whimper. Lexi’s eyes continued down her body, between the darkness of their legs.
“It’s hard,” was all Lexi said.
“Hard? What does that mean?”
“Hard not to touch you.”
Cate shot up onto her elbow. “Then touch!”
“No!”
Cate laid back down, more frustrated than ever. She held her hand over her forehead and shook her head. “Fine. Don’t touch, if you don’t want to.”
“Believe me, it’s not that I don’t want to.”
“I don’t get you. At all! I really don’t,” Cate said. She rolled over and faced the other direction.
She heard Lexi sigh. They both lay, as far from each other as was possible inside that tight space until the air between them began to cool.
“I don’t think it’s going to stop soon,” Lexi said.
“Are you talking about the rain or the attraction?”
“I was talking about the rain,” Lexi said softly. “But...”
Cate knew she was sulking but she didn’t care. She was ridiculously turned-on and having Lexi say no was like a door had been slammed in her face. She concentrated on how bothered she was by the whole thing until she felt Lexi’s arm curl around hers.
“Come back on the mat,” Lexi whispered.
“No.”
“You’re going to get cold. Come back.”
Cate couldn’t deny that Lexi’s hand made it all somehow better. Her touch made her bad mood melt away. She rolled onto her back so she could look at her again.
“I just need you to trust me. Can you do that?” Lexi asked. Her eyes were sad and sincere. Cate saw the same things that she’d felt; desire, craving, unbearable torture at their bodies being so close. Something big was holding Lexi back, for whatever reason.
“Okay.”
She rolled back onto her side facing away from Lexi. There was no way she could look at her if nothing was to happen. But she slid her body backward until she was safely inside Lexi’s warm arms. She lay there, trying not to think about all the points of contact. She tried to focus on their body heat alone and let it infuse the center of her bones again. Hours later when she woke, she was still warm.
It was still dark outside but the rain had stopped. It may have been the quiet that woke them, it may have been the crinkling of the silver emergency bag. Whatever it was, they were both awake and had been for more than a few minutes.
Lexi’s arm was wrapped around her waist. Their left hands had somehow clasped and were tucked close to Cate’s breasts. Cate could feel Lexi’s breath and the warmth of her face on the back of her neck. She was as comfortable as she could have been if she didn’t have to pee so bad.
Cate gripped her hand tighter and pulled it to her chest as she stretched. She knew in moments it would all be over. They’d climb out of the bag, find their wet clothes and start making their way down the tree. They’d walk in silence back to the Jeep. They’d drive down the mountain pass back to the damp heat of the coast. Perhaps they would never see each other again. She hoped it wouldn’t end that way. Whatever had been prevented from happening that night didn’t seem as important as that. But when Lexi shifted, Cate was reminded just how close their bodies were and the feelings began to surface all over again.
She felt Lexi’s breath change. She imagined her lips wrapping around every part of her. She clasped Lexi’s hand tighter and pushed her bum back against her pelvis. Lexi curled her leg over top of hers, pulled it outward and pinned it down. Lexi struggled a little to free her hand from between Cate’s breasts but relaxed and let it slide in between. For a few delicious seconds, they rolled against each other as if they’d been wrapped in warm silk. Lexi lifted herself and pressed her lips to Cate’s neck. Cate reached back and gripped the coils of Lexi’s dark hair between her fingers. She pressed her head down so she could feel her lips again. When she felt her kiss and heard the warm, wet sounds of her mouth, she began to moan. Their bodies wound and slid together for another few torturous moments until Lexi pulled back and broke herself free.
Cate heard her take a few steadying breaths.
“Did you sleep?” Lexi finally asked.
“Yes. Did you?”
“Yeah, but it was hard.”
Lexi clicked on the little light and Cate shielded her eyes for a moment. “What time do you think it is?” Cate asked. It wasn’t morning yet, that was certain. Cate had a distinct feeling that the darkness had a long way to go.
“I’m going to bet sometime after midnight. My phone is in my bag.”
Lexi loosened the drawstring on the bag and she felt a rush of cool damp air. When they sat up, and were suddenly outside again, the safe sensuality of their cocoon had vanished.
“Time to get going,” Lexi said.
They packed up everything as fast as they could, trying to keep warm while they had warmth left in them. The wind had stopped but the mountain air was cool and damp. They found their wet clothes and put them on. Cate zipped and snapped her jacket up to her neck. Lexi handed Cate the little wool beanie. Even though it was wet, it was still warm.
Slowly and methodically, they made their way down the tree. Lexi lowered Cate down first with another device and once she was back on the ground, Lexi dropped the main rope and rappelled down the thinner one.
“I’ll come back for this some other time,” she said and tied it off to the tree.
They began the long march back to the car. Even though she was tired, cold, and sore, the trek seemed a lot shorter than it had the day before.
When
they were safe in the Jeep and buckled in, Lexi turned to Cate. She put her hand on her knee. Cate gripped it tight and held it in place. They didn’t say anything. A thousand words couldn’t have expressed the things that Cate was feeling. She thought it best to leave those feelings where they were, back in the tree house, back in those delicious moments when they’d woken in each other’s arms.
When Lexi pulled into her parking spot, it was 3:30 am. It was warm again. Cate had let the air blow through her jacket in hopes that it would dry.
They walked up the hill with their packs slung over their shoulders. They climbed the steps to the third floor where Alice’s apartment was. They looked at each other. Cate wanted nothing more than to lie in Lexi’s bed with her for the rest of the night but she knew that it was not going to happen.
“Thanks for the adventure,” she whispered.
Lexi smiled. “I’m sorry it ended that way.”
“I’m not,” Cate said, remembering exactly how it had ended with every inch of her body.
“Goodnight,” Lexi said and reached for her hand. Their fingers clasped for a quick moment until she let go. Cate watched her climb up the steps until she disappeared around the corner. She listened for the key as it slid into the first lock and then a second. The door creaked as it was pushed open and then shut. Cate turned to Alice’s door and unlocked it, trying her best to leave her disappointment in the hall.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
When morning sun came streaming in the balcony windows, Cate exalted in its warmth as never before. She stretched against her sheets and immediately felt bruises and scrapes on her legs where the forest had whipped her skin. She was tired deep to her core. Tired as if she’d slept through a storm high in a tree and then walked out miles only to drive through the night.
She wondered if Lexi was sleeping, or if she was already up and helping Yolanda at the restaurant. As she heard the distinctive sounds of Alice making coffee and banging dishes in the kitchen, it almost seemed like any other day. Except it didn’t feel like any other day. Whatever had happened between her and Lexi early that morning was impossible to forget. As she lay there, she let the memory wash over her warm body until it felt like Lexi was lying there beside her again. But after a few minutes, there was a knock at her door. She didn’t answer right away. Alice knocked again and called her name.
“Yeah, I’m here,” she called from her pillow. She’d considered going out onto the balcony to see if she could will Lexi to come out onto the roof again. But then she realized that they’d both probably had enough climbing for one night.
Her door opened and Alice gave her a look. “What time did you roll in?” she asked.
“After 3:30.”
“Jesus! Why didn’t you call and tell me you were going to be late?”
“That wasn’t possible. You wouldn’t believe the night we had.”
“What kind of night? Do I want to know?”
“We got stuck up in the mountains near Boquete. It poured all night and we had to hunker down.”
Alice made a face. “Hunker down? What the fuck does that mean?”
“It means we had to stay put where we were until the storm passed. Then we had to hike out and drive back in the middle of the night.”
“Where did she take you? I’m going to murder her!”
“It wasn’t her fault, the storm came up before either of us realized it.”
“Sure!”
Cate rolled over and tucked another pillow under her head. “Look, I’ve been up most of the night. I’m okay now. I had fun actually, up until things got crazy. But Lexi had the right gear and we were fine. End of story.”
Alice blew out an exasperated gust of air.
“Come... sit down if you like. I’m too sore to get up right now.”
Alice made another face but came in and sat down.
“How was your night?” Cate asked.
“It was fine. The usual,” Alice said. “I went to Yolanda’s. We had some food and some drinks and - yeah. It was how it always is. I was hoping you’d come out and meet us.”
“Hmm.” Cate said softly. She looked at her friend, looked at her tired eyes. “Did you drink too much?”
“Not too much, but enough to feel it.”
“Don’t you get tired of it, every single night?”
“Now you’re judging me?”
“No, I’m not judging. I just expected to come here and find you a lot happier. But it looks like... I don’t know.” She rolled onto her back. She hadn’t meant to get into that kind of conversation so soon but the reality of what was in front of her was too real to say nothing. “You drink too much. I can see it in your face.”
“I don’t drink as much as some of them do.”
“That doesn’t mean anything and you know it. How do you feel right now?”
“I’m pissed off!”
“Why?”
“Because Todd is always off somewhere. Because I’m stuck here. Because I was really looking forward to you coming here and yet you don’t seem to want to spend any time with me!”
“You know that’s not true. What I don’t want is to be another drinking buddy for you at Yolanda’s. One night was enough. I’m not that person anymore, Alice.”
Alice shot up and walked out of the bedroom without saying another word.
Cate laid back in her bed and sighed. I’m too tired for this, she thought to herself but there was no other way around it.
“Alice,” she called gently. She could hear her in the kitchen but she didn’t answer. She called again, a little louder. “Alice, come back.”
A few seconds later she returned with two cups of coffee in her hand. “You’re right. I’ve been letting myself slide.”
Cate sat up in bed and patted the pillow beside her. “Come sit.”
Alice handed her a cup of coffee and then leaned back against the pillow. “It’s easy to get carried away with that group. They’re all fish,” she said.
“I can tell,” Cate said softly.
They sipped their coffee quietly. Cate could tell her friend was deep in thought.
“I used to be more fun,” Alice said suddenly. “Didn’t I?”
“You were hilarious,” Cate said. “We both were.”
“You’re so serious now,” Alice said.
“Do you think so?”
Alice chuckled. “You’re serious about getting your money’s worth out of this vacation.”
“It’s got nothing to do with getting my money’s worth,” Cate said.
“You know what I mean. You’re in that mode where you want to squeeze every minute for whatever it’s worth.”
“Do I seem that intense?” Cate asked. She wasn’t sure she agreed with her friend but she knew she should at least hear her out.
“You’re always intense. It’s just that right now, it seems like you’re looking for a way out.”
“A way out of what?”
“Your life, I guess. I don’t know,” Alice shrugged.
Cate considered that as she sipped her coffee. She heard footsteps above her head and her eyes flew up to the ceiling in reflex.
Alice sighed. “The elephant in the room.”
After they’d finished their coffee, and long after Cate had stopped hearing any signs of life above her, she got out of bed and took a much-needed shower. Alice returned from the store with some things to make breakfast and after cooking together, they sat out on the balcony off Alice’s bedroom and read.
Cate had done her best to stop thinking about Lexi and wondering where she might be, wondering what her reasons for keeping her distance could have been. Cate assumed it was because she was leaving in a matter of days and that quite possibly would never come back.
She napped on the lounge chair while Alice flipped through the magazines she’d bought in David. When she woke, they compared tastes in clothing and make-up just like they would have done years before. In the afternoon, they both decided to work on their costumes. After
that, Cate agreed to go to Yolanda’s for dinner both to make peace with Alice and to see Lexi again. When they arrived, the gang was all there and the drinking had already started. But no matter how much Cate hoped to see Lexi, she didn’t appear all night.
Alice had kept her alcohol consumption moderate and they’d spent the better part of the night ganging up on Ambrose for all his pompous chatter. They’d walked back to the building together arm-in-arm. Cate finally felt as if they’d landed in their groove now that everything was out in the open. Without Lexi in the middle to stir Alice’s temper, there was nothing left to do but be friends.
The next morning, Cate agreed to eat breakfast at Yolanda’s again for the exact reasons she’d gone the night before. Even before they’d reached Yolanda’s, Cate spotted Lexi loading crates of vegetables in through the back door. Lexi looked up and gave her a warm smile. Alice continued on through the doors of the restaurant as if she hadn’t seen anything while Cate lagged behind. Lexi hoisted another armful of boxes from the back of her Jeep and headed for the open door of the kitchen.
“Hi,” Cate said. “I missed you yesterday.”
“I drove to Chiriqui and stayed the night,” Lexi said. “Yolanda asked me to pick up this stuff but some of it wasn’t ready.”
“Oh,” Cate said. She watched Lexi disappear into the kitchen and then reappear a few moments later.
“How are you?” Lexi asked as she grabbed hold of another stack of boxes.
“I’m fine. How are you, Lexi,” Cate answered a little sarcastically.
Lexi shot her a look and then shook her head.
“We’re doing small talk now?” Cate grabbed a stack of boxes and followed behind her.