“What?” I asked warily.
He pulled out a velvet ring box and I drew back. He caught my arm before I could flee the couch. “It’s not an engagement ring. I know you’re not ready, but get ready because it’s coming.”
He flipped the box open and inside was a gold and silver designed ring with a garnet, my birthstone, as the centerpiece. “It’s a Celtic knot.”
I leaned forward for a better look. “It’s beautiful.”
He took my left hand and slid it on my ring finger. “Wear it. Get used to having my ring on your hand.”
Splaying my fingers, I waved my hand back and forth, watching the ring catch the light. Overwhelmed, I slid my hands in Roberto’s hair and kissed him with all the pent up emotion in me. When it was over, I was once more straddling his lap and his hands were under my dress, cupping my behind.
“I’ll take that as a thank you. Now I really have to go before I get myself in trouble.” He lifted me off of him, gathered his things and walked to the door.
I followed and waited in the doorway while he went to his SUV. “Think about what I said.”
“I will,” I promised.
Chapter Eight
Despite how I felt about Roberto—I still wasn’t willing to call it love—I hadn’t heard from God as to whether he was the one. Until I did, this relationship wouldn’t, couldn’t, go anywhere. All weekend long I prayed, waiting on an answer.
Nothing.
Monday, several of my coworkers were out of the office in a training class, leaving it virtually empty. I was holding down the fort when Timothy stopped by my desk. “How are you doing?”
“Fine.” After a brief glance at him, I turned my eyes back to the screen. Though he was an extremely attractive man, I found no pleasure in looking at him.
“You got a minute?”
Sighing inwardly, I turned away from the screen. “Sure.”
“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, praying. I think I made a mistake.”
I knew what he was referring to, but wanted to hear it from him. “About…?”
“You, me, us. I knew what God was telling me but I didn’t want to listen.” He leaned on the partition that separated my desk from the walkway.
God, what are you doing?
About a year after Jonathan and I split, Timothy came to me—hurting and upset. He’d caught his girlfriend in bed with her ex-boyfriend. A Christian like me, he’d let himself get caught up in a physical relationship with this woman, buying her things, giving her money, trying to help her and her children only to discover she’d been using him. Having gone through something similar with Jon, I was able to minister to and console him.
Over the next two years, we became closer. In the early hours of the morning, before the office filled, he’d come by and talk. Whenever he came into the office on business, he always made time to stop by my desk. Then the dreams started. I believed they were from God, showing me that Timothy was to be my husband. God confirmed it in prayer.
After the mess with Jon, I was extremely doubtful. For one, I knew I wasn’t Timothy’s type. He liked his women petite and thin, really thin. My height was right but my size wasn’t anywhere near what he liked.
I wasn’t in love with or even physically attracted to him, though he was good looking enough, with his wavy black hair, light complexion and golden-brown eyes. He was one fine brother, and that, I thought, was part of his problem. He was used to women throwing themselves at him, especially given the lack of eligible, Christian males in the church. I was determined not to be one of them. If it was God I was hearing and he wanted Timothy and I to marry, Timothy was going to have to do the chasing. Besides, I was feeling still raw from my breakup with Jon.
Despite my personal feelings on the subject, I was willing to obey God and at least be open to the possibility. Timothy wasn’t. We discussed it one day. While he felt like God was pulling the two of us together, he was going in a different direction. He’d met a woman he liked and was considering marriage. I wished him happiness, but knew if he was going against God’s will for his life that it wouldn’t work out. Since my emotions weren’t engaged his decision didn’t hurt, but I’d be lying if I said my ego didn’t take a hit.
“Aren’t you engaged?”
“I broke it off. It wasn’t right and I knew it.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.” And I was.
“So,” he glanced around and leaned closer, “would you like to go out to dinner with me? Maybe Friday, if you aren’t busy?”
I sat back in my seat, subtly increasing the distance between us. “I’m seeing someone.”
He drew back. “Oh. Is it serious?”
I thought about Roberto and my response to him. “Yes.” I twisted the ring on my finger. I’d googled it. It was a Celtic love knot and had deep significance. It meant love, without beginning or end, a promise of forever.
“Are you sure that’s wise? Don’t make the same mistake I did,” he warned.
“I’m not. Thanks for the offer.” I wanted him to go away. I had some thinking to do.
“Pray about it. If you change your mind, my offer still stands,” he stated before walking off.
My mind was in turmoil. I knew whenever God had a blessing for you, the enemy also presented a counterfeit to try to trick you, make you miss out on the real thing. The question was, who was the fake? Roberto or Timothy.
I wish I knew.
Over the next few weeks, Timothy made it a point to stop by my desk and engage me in conversation. If he had my house or cell phone number, I’m sure he would have been calling. Before leaving, he always asked about Roberto, calling into question my relationship with him and if it was “right.”
My ex-fiancé Jonathan noticed all the attention Timothy was paying me, and must have thought since I wasn’t running him away, I might be open to giving him another chance. He decided to try the back door approach. “I rededicated my life to Christ,” he told me one day, right before lunch.
I cast him a quick glance, taking in his dark skinned, roughly masculine features, closely shaved head, salt-and-pepper mustache and neatly trimmed goatee he sported. “That’s nice.”
“I hate to ask, but would you be willing to share some scriptures, maybe occasionally eat lunch with me? I have lots of questions. Your faith is so strong. That’s one of the things I’ve always admired about you and I want to get where you are.”
His dark brown eyes seemed so sincere. Even if it were a scam as I suspected, what kind of Christian would I be to say no? Sneaky bastard. He knew just how to play me.
So I found myself eating lunch with Jonathan two to three times a week. True to his word, he did ask a lot of question about the bible and being a Christian, but he also tried to sneak personal stuff in there. I stayed on my guard and didn’t allow him to drag me into reminiscing about the good old days, when we first got together. And I ignored every sexual innuendo, no matter how slight.
I didn’t know what to do or which way to turn. I had three men actively pursuing me: Roberto, the man I loved—yeah, I finally admitted it to myself—who I’d yet to hear an answer from God on despite my many, many prayers; and Jon and Timothy, two men that I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that at one time God intended for them to be my husband.
Jon was simply an annoyance. There was no way I’d go back to him, no matter what tricks he used. Unfortunately, unlike Timothy he did have my phone numbers and didn’t hesitate to call, despite the many times I cut the conversation short or outright hung up on him. I told him about Roberto, but either he didn’t believe me or decided that my having a man made me more of a challenge and therefore more appealing.
Timothy was persistent. I’ll give him that. He used every opportunity to point out that we should be together and that if he hadn’t been so disobedient, we’d be married by now, doing the Lord’s work together as God intended. What was hard about dealing with Timothy was that part of me wondered if he was right. Was he the answer to my prayer?
After three weeks of craziness, I broke down and told Roberto everything. I told him about Jonathan, my entire relationship with him—the good and the bad. Then I explained about Timothy, our history, and both men’s crazy pursuit of me.
He listened quietly and asked one simple question, “What does your heart want?”
“What if my heart’s wrong?” I countered.
“It won’t be.”
The answer was simple. “I want you. You’re the one I love.”
Roberto grabbed me into a bear hug. “Finally,” he shouted to the ceiling.
I hugged him back, laughing and crying at the intense relief and peace that flooded my soul with my admission. He kissed me, and in it I felt all the love he had for me. No longer would I doubt his feelings.
He cupped my face with his hands. “Marry me.”
“Yes,” I answered, though he’d demanded, not asked.
“Thank God. You led me on a merry chase, woman,” he scolded. His hands slid down to hold me by my nape.
“But you love me anyway,” I stated with confidence.
“Every day, for the rest of our lives.”
The End
Nina’s finally confessed her love for Roberto, but will they make it to the altar? Find out in Worth Fighting For:
Just because Nina has let go of the past doesn't mean the past has let go of her. Love doesn't come easy and sometimes you have to fight for what you want. Will Nina determine that the love and happiness she's found with Roberto is Worth Fighting For?
If you enjoyed Nina’s story, check out how it all began in The Apology:
When Nina Wallace receives an email from an old lover apologizing for his behavior during their relationship four years earlier, it sets off a storm of emotions. Can she really forgive him for his mistreatment of her? If she does, will she give him another chance?
Love's Challenges Page 7