Beautiful Goodbye
By H. D’Agostino
Beautiful Goodbye
H. D’Agostino
Copyright © August 2016 by Heather D’Agostino
All Rights Reserved. This book may not be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission from the author. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. All characters and storylines are the property of the author and your support and respect is appreciated. The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
The following story contains matures themes, profanity, and graphic sexual situations. It is intended for adult readers.
Cover Design by Cassy Roop @ Pink Ink Designs
Editing by Kellie Montgomery
Table of Contents
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Epilogue
Beautiful Goodbye Playlist
Other Works by H. D’Agostino
Acknowledgements
About the Author
Prologue
5 years ago…
Rachel
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. The machine, though quiet as it was, echoed off the brick walls. It had been days since I’d been home. I parked myself in the corner of his room sitting vigil while strangers breezed in and out offering sympathetic glances. I never thought at twenty-two I’d have to make this decision, but when the doctor had uttered those words “no brain activity” I knew that my entire world was going to change and it wasn’t for the better.
It had been just the two of us for as long as I could remember. My mom died when I was just a little girl. Cancer. It took her from us, and now it was happening all over again. It was gonna be just me. Me all alone to pick up the pieces. No family there to comfort me. I had a few friends, but none that were very close.
As I stared at the ventilator moving up and down, pumping air into his lungs, I shuddered. It felt cold in the room, but I’d been ignoring it for quite some time. My thoughts had been elsewhere as I attempted to hold it together. “Have you made a decision?” a young nurse stepped into the room and stopped in front of me. She motioned to the clipboard that was clasped in my hand. I’d forgotten that I was holding it. My fingers were going numb as they turned white from my tight grip. “It’s what he wanted,” I whispered as I ghosted them over the print on the page.
My dad and I had discussed the use of life support when I was younger. He’d told me after watching my mom wither away that he didn’t want his life prolonged. It hurt, but I understood. He was a donor, and knowing that the loss of his life would be a gain in someone else’s gave me a small comfort. Of course I’d rather have him here with me, but that just wasn’t going to happen.
“I know this is hard,” the nurse moved closer and lightly rested her hand on my shoulder, “but we really need you to sign that.” I nodded as I nibbled my bottom lip.
“Can I sit with him just a little longer?” I peered up at her as I scribbled my name across the bottom of the form. “I’m just not ready to leave yet.”
“Of course,” she murmured as she squeezed my shoulder and took the clipboard from my hand. “The team won’t be in here for a few more minutes. You can stay as long as you like,” she stepped back away from me, only pausing at the door for a few minutes before moving into the hallway and leaving me in silence once again. Beep. Beep. Beep.
“Daddy?” I pushed myself forward so I was perched on the edge of the chair. It creaked in protest as I slid closer to his bed. “I love you,” tears trickled from the corners of my eyes as I slowly stood. I maneuvered myself between the wires and tubes so I could sit next to him on the bed. His body was motionless, but his skin still warm thanks to the machines pumping the blood through him. “I’m never gonna let you go. Do you hear me? I’m doing what you want, but I’m never letting go,” I leaned forward and placed my head on his chest. It was firm and comforting. I reached around him and squeezed with my arms giving him a hug that wasn’t going to ever be returned.
“I’m sorry I was mad at you the last time we talked,” I sniffed as I kept my face buried in his chest. “I didn’t mean it. I was just upset. I hope you know that.” I pulled back as the door to his room clicked open.
“Miss McKenzie?” a male voice drew my attention their direction. “We need to take him now,” he stepped into the room with three other people.
I nodded as I leaned forward and pressed a kiss to my father’s cheek one last time. “I love you Daddy,” I whispered into his ear before standing. “I’m going to keep my promise. Don’t worry about me.” I stood from the bed and turned my teary eyes toward the men that were going to take him away. “Take good care of him. Promise me you’re gonna take good care of him.”
“We will,” they nodded solemnly. “He will be treated with the respect he deserves.”
I stood there and watched them switch machines over and roll my father, bed and all, out of the room. It took me a few minutes to realize what exactly was happening. My brain had dealt with so much that it wasn’t keeping up. I knew this was it, but it was then that it truly hit me.
“I love you Daddy,” I sobbed as my knees buckled and I collapsed to the floor.
I stayed in the corner of that room until the sun set that evening. It was summer, and when I finally made my way out of the hospital, I drove to my favorite spot. I was a country girl, and the sound of crickets soothed me. There was a spot not far outside of the small town I lived in where you park under the stars. The younger crowd went there to make out, but tonight it was empty. I pulled my truck off into the bare area and climbed out. As I made my way around to the back, I paused to look up at the sky. I knew he was there. He was watching me, and was going to keep my promise.
I lowered the tailgate, and climbed up before leaning back to stare at the stars. This was something we did together when I was younger. He told me once that my mom was up there, and she sprinkled stars in the heavens to let me know that she was watching. Lightning bugs began to fill the space around me as I watched. I wanted a sign. One that would tell me that life would get better. One that would give me faith to keep moving forward, and do what he wanted me to do. Live. My father would always tell me to live whenever I would face a setback in life. He’d say, “Rach, things don’t always go the way we want them to, but how you react to them sets the tone for your life. Don’t let the bad things define you. Turn them into good ones. Always live, and have no regrets.”
I’ve tried to do just that over the years, but it’s days like today that make me wonder how much more I can take. After Mom died, Dad almost lost the business. He and Mom bought the garage before I was born. It’s been a staple in our family. Between trying to raise me alone and keep it afloat, there really hasn’t been time for anything else. I know when I go to work tomorrow the first thing I’m going to be doing is figuring out how to pay for his stay at the hospital and keep the doors open, but I will not fail. I can’t. I can’t let the one thing I have left of them be taken away.
Tears leaked from my eyes as I closed them, letting the exhaustion that I’d been fighting
for days finally overtake me. Tomorrow was a new day. I could do this. I had to.
Chapter 1
Present Day…
Ryan
I sighed as I climbed into my Jeep, and tossed my ID badge onto the passenger seat. It had been a long day, make that a long week. I hated these swing shifts they had me on at the hospital. Only a few more weeks, and I could go back to normal, if that’s what you want to call it. Twelve on, twelve off. I’d worked that for as long as I could remember.
As I cranked my Jeep and pulled out of my spot, I smiled to myself. The guys were meeting up at Sammy’s for drinks, and I could actually go this time. It didn’t happen often, but the idea of tossing back a beer before heading home brought a smile to my face. It never entered my mind that I’d meet someone.
After parking near the back of the lot, I climbed out and stuffed my wallet in my back pocket. I’d changed out of my scrubs at the hospital before I left and had kinda just thrown everything in my Jeep when leaving. When I entered the bar, I found my coworkers laughing around a large table in the back corner. Country music was blasting over the sound system, and patrons were jockeying for position at the bar.
“Ryan!” Jordan called as she stood and waved from the corner. I nodded in acknowledgement as I weaved through the crowd in their direction. “It’s about time,” she giggled making it obvious that she’d already had a few.
“I had to get presentable,” I chuckled as I lowered myself into the only empty seat available. “Had a kid barf on me today, remember?” I curled my lip as I shook my head. I was used to days like this, but the vomit still got to me.
“You know you could come to my floor,” Bryce, Jordan’s husband, laughed. “Ortho doesn’t do barf like Peds does.”
“Can we not talk shop, honey?” Jordan wrinkled her nose. “I came here to think about something else before I have to go back in the morning.”
Bryce shook his head as he lifted his beer, mumbling something that I couldn’t make out. “I’m gonna go grab one,” I motioned toward the bar before extracting myself from the group. It was so busy, who knew when a server would come by.
When I reached the bar, I waved a few times before I caught the bartender’s attention. She smiled when she saw me, but it quickly turned into a frown. Everyone in this tiny town knew my story, and they knew I wasn’t really supposed to be drinking. They all knew about the golden boy who’d fallen from his pedestal all those years ago. They saw me as a charity case, and most of the time I didn’t care, except when it came to women. Women saw me as broken. They’d be interested for a while, then they’d hear the rumors and start treating me differently. I’d thought about moving to get a fresh start, but I liked where I lived. Camden was right beside a sleepy little town called Reidsville, which was so tiny it was barely a blip on the map. We were the closest city to them and my hospital covered a large area of people. I liked the country feel, and the wide open spaces. Moving away from a place I loved just seemed wrong.
“Can I get some service?” I growled when the bartender paused to scoop some ice into a glass. She paused, and sighed as she began pouring liquor into the glass. I guess being known didn’t have its perks tonight. It meant that I could be ignored longer than a stranger would be.
“Sorry,” the weary girl stopped and wiped the spot in front of me. “What can I get you tonight?”
“Whatever’s on tap that’s on special is fine,” I smiled as I reached into my back pocket to pull out my wallet.
“Two-fifty,” she called out as she leaned into the cooler for a cold glass. After filling it with a pale ale, she slid it towards me, slapped change for the five I’d put on the bar, swiped the bill from in front of me, and moved on to the next customer.
“Nice to see you too, Jen,” I rolled my eyes as I turned and bumped right into a mess of brown hair. “Geez, sorry,” I apologized as the woman backed up a few steps and shook her hands in front of her chest.
“Damn it!” she wiped at her shirt and shook her head before looking up at me. Her eyes went wide as she took me in before she swallowed. The shock quickly wore off before anger replaced it. “Thanks a lot,” she barked.
“Shit! I am so sorry,” I spun quickly to grab some napkins and began absently patting her chest to sop up the beer I’d spilled.
“I can do that myself,” she growled as she pushed my hand away.
“Right, Sorry. Force of habit,” I grimaced as I handed over the napkins. “Let me buy you a drink,” I offered. It was the least I could do, and this little ball of fire seemed to need something to cool her down.
“Fine,” she rolled her eyes as she wiped at her jeans.
I turned back toward the bar, prepared to make a scene to get Jen’s attention again, but paused to take in what was standing beside me. I usually didn’t go for her type, but the attitude was intriguing me. She had on a tank top and some ripped jeans. Her hair was spilling out of a messy ponytail that was sitting high on her head. She was shifting from one foot to the other as if her annoyance was reaching epic proportions. “Is it always this crazy in here?” she grumbled.
“On the weekends? Yes,” I chuckled when I glanced over to see her tapping her foot. “It’s the best place in town to grab a beer. The prices are better than anywhere else around here.”
“Well, it’s not like there’s a lot to choose from,” she rolled her eyes and at that moment the crowd parted slightly, allowing me to get back into position to order. She was right though. Camden was small, even in its city status. We had two blocks that made up our downtown. A total of five traffic lights, a school that housed all twelve grades, and a fire station were the highlights. Three bars, two mom and pop type restaurants, and few small local businesses were it. Like I said, it was a small town but I liked it.
“You’re not from around here then?” I mused as she shook her head at me.
“I’m not looking to meet anybody,” she huffed as she completely shut me down.
“I’m trying to be nice here,” I waved my hand at myself. “Who says I’m even interested?”
“I know guys, and you’re a guy. You think because I’m here getting a drink that I’m looking to go home with you and fulfill some fantasy. Well, you got another thing coming buddy. I’m not,” she placed her hands on her hips and narrowed her eyes.
“Whoa,” my head snapped back. “I don’t know what happened to you, but all I’m trying to do is apologize for spilling my drink on you.” Who the hell was this chick? Her sassiness made her all the more appealing, but I was so far outta my league here and she knew it.
“Sorry,” she shook her head. “Long day.”
“I can see that. What do you want?” I motioned to the list of drinks on special and the taps across the back of the bar. “My treat. Whatever you want.” I assumed she’d order some girlie frou-frou drink, and was completely shocked when she didn’t.
“A day off,” she mumbled so quietly I almost missed it. “I’ll take an IPA,” she pointed at the sign when Jen paused in front of me.
“Nice choice,” I grinned as I dug for my wallet once again. “A girl that likes a good beer.”
Her nose wrinkled up before she slowly shook her head. “You think because I’m a girl that I don’t like beer? How sexist is that?” she sighed. It took me a minute to pay and hand over the drink but before I could say anything, she took it, thanked me, and then walked off.
I stood there and watched her weave through the crowd. Her hips swaying as she sashayed over to a table where another woman was sitting. She set her beer down and began talking animatedly before she paused and glanced over her shoulder at me. “Shit! Busted!” I hissed before turning to head back to my own group. Her friend must have caught me staring and drew her attention to me.
“What took so long?” Bryce stood as I approached. “I would have had you get one for me if I had known you’d be up there that long.”
“It’s fucking crazy in here tonight. Do you see all these people?” I waved my arm around.
“You realize that some of these people are going to end up in the ER before morning, right?”
“Oh, don’t be so dramatic,” he rolled his eyes as he pushed past me. “What are you worried about? None of them will end up as your patients.” Bryce weaved through the crowd, leaving me there with Jordan.
“What’s going on with him?” I muttered as I leaned closer to her.
“He applied for the charge nurse position and was overlooked. He’s still smarting over that,” she shrugged. “It’s a union thing. Someone with more seniority got it.”
“Oh boy,” I grimaced. I knew how hard Bryce had been working to move up. He’d switched floors a few years back though and it had moved him down in the food chain so to speak.
“But at least he doesn’t get thrown up on,” she giggled as she looked over at me.
“It’s the price I pay for working with the kids. I wouldn’t change a thing though. I love my floor,” I smiled thinking about one of the patients I’d had recently. His parents were so nice. They wrote this letter to the hospital saying how much they appreciated everything I’d done to make their stay as enjoyable as possible. They even talked about giving a donation in my name. It was patients like that that made being a nurse worthwhile. I thought about those kids whenever I was having a bad day, and it made me realize that my life wasn’t as bad as I thought.
Rachel
“So who is that?” Kasey, my best friend, grinned as she leaned to the side to try and see around me.
“Who’s what?” I placed my beer on the table she was sitting at before wiping at the damp spot on my top. I’d been able to soak up most of the beer, but I had a nice wet spot right across my boobs.
“Don’t play dumb with me,” she tsked. “I’m talking about that hottie that you were flirting with at the bar.” Her grin grew as her smile split her face before she giggled. She’s been trying to set me up with someone for months.
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