Rachel
When morning came the sunlight wasn’t as harsh as I thought it would be. My eyes slowly blinked open to see a set of sheer white curtains filtering the sunlight that was beaming through the windows. I reached out to cold sheets, and turned to see I was alone. I hadn’t even felt Ryan get up, but he was nowhere in sight. The clock on his nightstand read eleven a.m. I stretched, and my body protested. Ryan had bent me in ways I didn’t know I could last night. We’d made love until both of us were so exhausted that we couldn’t go again. I’d never worn a guy out like that, but after round three he’d pretty much told me he didn’t think he could again. At first I’d thought he was teasing, but when he pulled me into his arms and fallen asleep I knew he wasn’t.
I laid there in bed for several minutes before I decided to get up and see if I could find him. I pulled the t-shirt he’d given me back on as I climbed out of bed. It hung to the middle of my thighs, so I shuffled to the door and peeked out. “Hello?” I called as I glanced around. The hallway was dark and I was met with silence. I wandered down the stairs retracing the path we’d taken the night before as I continued to look for him. “Ryan? Hello?” I searched the living space. Aside from the sunlight coming through the windows, there were no lights on. The place was neat and tidy, and nothing like what I expected from a guy living alone. There were no beer signs or pizza boxes out. No mismatched furniture or car magazines. The place looked like an actually adult lived there. I was impressed to say the least.
After snooping around the living room, I wandered into the kitchen. There in Ryan’s handwriting was a note on the counter.
Had to run out for a bit. Be back by lunchtime. Make yourself at home.
Love, R
I shrugged as I stared at it. I had no idea what he’d gone to do. He’d told me last night that he had the day off. I could only assume that maybe he went to see Jamie. After what he’d told me, I knew he was having a hard time with it. Deciding that I had nothing better to do, I texted Kasey to let her know I was alive, and then went about finding some coffee. My head was pounding from the night before, and I needed the caffeine.
After I fixing a mug, I grabbed the remote off the coffee table in the living room, and collapsed onto the couch. It was a soft material, and I sunk into its cushions. Not much was on TV on a Sunday, so I flicked until I found some reruns of Law and Order: SVU. It never failed that at least one station had a marathon on, and even though I knew most of the episodes by heart, I settled in for the morning.
At around one, Ryan came home. When he stepped through the door he looked exhausted. His shorts were hanging on him, and the t-shirt he was wearing pulled tight on his chest. I couldn’t help but want to jump him when I thought about the night before, but as my eyes scanned up stopping at his face, I couldn’t help but notice he looked like he was barely awake.
“Are you ok?” I rocked forward from my relaxed position and started to stand. He nodded as his shoulders slumped. “Did you get called into work? Is it Jamie?” I started firing off questions at him so fast that he couldn’t answer.
“No, no, and I’m fine just tired,” he sighed as he tossed his keys on the table by the door, yawned, and then shuffled over to where I was sitting. I stood and wrapped my arms around his waist as I buried my nose in his chest. He smelled of soap and pure Ryan, but something was off.
“What’s wrong?” I prodded.
“Nothing,” he murmured as he lowered himself to the couch. He pulled me into his lap and cradled me against his chest. He was quiet and almost sullen, and I was afraid to ask him again but I was worried. He’d never acted like this, and the fact that he was shutting me out scared me.
“I texted Kasey,” I mumbled as I snuggled into him. “I have no plans today. We can do whatever you want.”
“That’s nice,” he yawned again before turning and lifting his legs onto the couch. He shifted me so I was nestled against his side, leaned back on the pillow behind himself, and closed his eyes. At first I didn’t believe it, but within minutes his chest was rising and falling as soft breaths seeped from his lips. It didn’t take long until the soft snores followed, and I decided to join him in a nap feeling a lot of unease about the day ahead.
Ryan
I didn’t realize how tired I was until I sat down with her. I’d gotten up early to go in for a treatment in the hopes of coming back home before she woke. It took longer than I planned though. It was busy in the unit, and I needed an extra hour today. I guess the popcorn I’d eaten the day before was a bad choice. I didn’t think it was that salty, but Cassie gave me the glare when I’d mentioned eating it. Everyone always thinks that just because I’m a nurse, I know everything. Well, I can answer a lot of questions but I work in pediatrics. I don’t know everything, and just like a normal person, I make mistakes. Popcorn being one of them.
It felt like it had only been minutes, but when I felt her stir beside me, my eyes slowly opened to see her peering up at me. “Morning,” I yawned as I tightened my arm around her.
“I think you mean afternoon,” she smiled softly as she lifted her head in search of a clock.
I raised my arm to glance at my watch, and chuckled when I saw how late it was. “Guess you’re right,” I laughed. It was after three, and my stomach growled at the fact that I missed lunch. I could tell my sugar was low and I needed to eat, but it felt so good to just lie here and hold Rachel.
“Hungry?” she smirked as her left hand trailed over my chest and abs. The muscles under my t-shirt jumped as other parts of my body began to take notice that she was pressed against me.
“Maybe a little,” I grinned as I let the arm that wrapped around her trail down and squeeze her ass through my shirt that she was wearing.
“Later,” she giggled as she wiggled herself to a sitting position. I rocked up with her, and my head spun as I leaned back against the cushions. I blinked a few times, but when I lifted my hand to wipe at my eyes, I could feel it trembling. “Are you ok?” she squeaked. I’d never let my sugar get this low around her. I’d never let it get this low around anyone. I was never this forgetful, but between staying up all night making love and then going to the hospital this morning, everything was catching up to me.
“Can you get me a glass of apple juice, please?” I murmured. “I’ll be ok if I drink that.”
“Yeah,” she scrambled off the couch and rushed into the kitchen. I could hear her opening and closing cabinets frantically, I’m assuming looking for a glass. “Your kitchen is too big,” she growled as she opened the fridge and grabbed the juice.
“Just bring the carton then,” I called out as I took a few deep breaths trying to keep myself calm. Thirty more seconds wasn’t going to make a huge deal, but she didn’t know that.
“Here,” she sounded out of breath when she came back. I slowly turned my head to the side as I opened my eyes before reaching for the carton of juice. My hand trembled and she refused to let go as I guided it to my mouth. I tipped it up and took a few sips, letting it slowly go down my throat. “Is this normal? You getting like this?” she swallowed and I could hear the fear in her voice.
I nodded my head slowly as I took another sip before pushing the carton back toward her. “Give me a few minutes,” I swallowed against the knot in my throat. It didn’t take long before the juice brought my sugar levels up, and I began to feel semi-normal again. I looked over to her and saw her tugging at her hair and twisting her hands in her lap. “I’m ok,” I reached out, but she slapped me away.
“Don’t ever do that again!” she began to cry and pulled her legs up, hugging them to her chest.
“I’m sorry. I forgot to eat when I got home. All I thought about was being with you,” I smiled as I reached out and cupped her cheek. “You can be kinda distracting, you know that?” I laughed lightly but she continued to scowl.
“This is not my fault,” she huffed as she leaned away from my touch.
“No, it’s not, but this is who I am. It happens sometimes,
and I’m glad that you were here and know what to do in the future,” I attempted to get her to look at me. “I’m ok Rach.”
“You don’t’ get it,” she turned to look at me, and that’s when I saw the tears. They were streaming down her face, and she wiped at them angrily. “I don’t let people in. I never have. Other than Kasey, my dad was it. He’s gone, and I can’t change that. I’ve tried to hold onto his memory, but everything keeps getting taken away. First him, then the garage, I’m gonna have to sell the truck now. I mean, who owns a tow truck just for the hell of it? I can’t deal with losing you too. I can’t,” she sniffed as she began rocking back and forth holding her knees.
“I’m not going anywhere.” Lie number one.
“How can you say that after what just happened?” she murmured.
“Because it’s happened before. I’ve learned to deal with it.” Lie number two. “You have nothing to worry about here.” Lie number three. They fell so effortlessly, I wondered if I’d ever be able to tell her. I’m gonna die Rachel. If I don’t get a kidney soon, I’m gonna leave you completely wrecked.
“Promise?” she slowly released the hold on her knees and inched closer.
“Promise,” I nodded. Lie number four.
She leaned against me, and buried her face in my neck before placing a kiss there. “I can’t lose any more people that I care about, Ryan. You’re on that list now.”
“I know,” I sighed. I love you, Rachel.
We only sat there for a few minutes before she pulled out of my hold. “How about I cook us some lunch?” she smiled softly.
“I’m in,” I chuckled as I watched her bounce up. “I was gonna suggest ordering in, but cooking is good. I’m not sure what I have in the kitchen though. I haven’t shopped in a while.”
“I’ll figure something out. You sit,” she narrowed her eyes on me as she pointed to where I was sitting. I couldn’t argue with that. I was feeling better thanks to the juice, but I knew it was only a temporary fix. Eating was what I really needed to do.
As she sauntered off toward the kitchen, I snickered. Her hips swayed, and with each movement the shirt she was wearing would creep up a little, letting the bottom of her ass cheeks peek out. I could get used this. Hell yeah, I could.
She banged around for a few minutes before her head came around the corner. “Mac and cheese ok?” her eyebrows bounced as she said it.
“Yum,” I licked my lips and grinned. “I love comfort food.”
“I bet you do,” she giggled before disappearing around the corner again. “I’ll comfort you better after we eat,” she called out.
“I’m counting on it,” I teased.
We went back and forth like this for next several minutes, and Rachel finally appeared with a giant bowl of cheesy goodness. “I wasn’t sure how much you wanted, so I thought we could share,” she smiled as she sat down beside me.
She crisscrossed her legs before spreading a kitchen towel over her lap. She handed me a spoon and smiled. “Dig in,” she giggled as she scooped up a spoonful for herself and stuffed it in her mouth. “Mmmm,” she groaned. I guess she was hungry too.
“Good?” I laughed as I watched her eyes roll back in her head. I’d only seen her do that one other time, and my body was remembering it as I watched her eat.
“Mac and cheese is one of my favorite things to eat. When my mom died,” she swallowed as if she was remembering something happy, “it’s all my dad fixed me for a month. He didn’t cook very well, and I refused to eat much. He fixed me mac and cheese one night and I devoured it, so he started fixing it every night.” She smiled as she stuffed another bite in her mouth.
“Sounds like something I would do,” I mused as I took a bite. She was right. It tasted so good, nothing like it did when I made it.
“Good, huh?” she giggled as she watched me. I must have made a face because it was as if she knew what I was thinking without me saying anything.
“What did you put in this?” I dug the spoon around as if I’d be able to figure it out just by looking.
“I mixed a couple of cheeses together. You didn’t have everything I needed, but I made use of what you did have,” she shrugged as she took another bite. “I’ll make it my way after we go to the store and stock your fridge.”
“Can’t wait,” I wiggled my brows. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I had such a limited diet that I wouldn’t be able to eat half the stuff she’d probably want to buy. Being a diabetic was bad enough, but being a diabetic in kidney failure was worse. I had a whole list of things I couldn’t eat. Whenever I went out with friends I always asked ahead of time where we were going. I’d go online and look at the restaurant’s menu to see what they offered that I could have. Sometimes it took me backing out because other than water, I wouldn’t have many options. Luckily, Rachel has been ok with my food choices, but I’m just waiting for it come up. I know I’m ass for not telling what’s going on. I had almost talked myself into it on the way home this morning, but after what just happened with my sugar, I can’t bring myself to do it.
Chapter 14
Ryan
Over the course of the next several days, Rachel pretty much moved in. She never asked for me to take her home, and I never suggested her leaving. It’s been almost a week now, and other than making a trip to the store and me working, we haven’t been apart.
“Is Kasey still planning to come by tonight?” I called from the bathroom. I was brushing my teeth and getting ready to leave for my shift. I had dialysis today too, so Rachel thought I was working a double.
“Maybe,” she mused from where she was lying across my bed flicking through the channels. I learned a few days ago that she is pretty much addicted to all those home improvement shows. “She has the day off, and we might go shopping. You’ve managed to rip all my good panties. I need to replace them,” she smirked when I leaned around the corner to stare at her. The t-shirt she was wearing barely covered her ass, and the position she was in caused the very bottom to peek out. Going to work was the last thing that I wanted to do in that moment, and I think she sensed it too. “You sure you need to leave?” her eyes raked down the front of me and my dick twitched as I groaned.
“Stop,” I growled as I pointed at her, toothpaste foaming around my mouth. I coughed a little as her eyes flared.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she muttered as the bed creaked.
“You know exactly what you’re doing,” I spit in the sink before wiping my face, “and it’s not cool. I have to go to work,” I sighed as I flicked the light off and shuffled into the bedroom.
“You could call in,” her brows waggled as a smile started to form.
“I wish. Trust me,” I leaned down and placed a kiss on the tip of her nose. “If I could stay home with this,” I waved my arm over her body, “then I would.”
“I guess I’ll have to go shopping then,” she giggled. “While you’re taking care of sick people, I’ll be trying on panties.” She scrambled off the bed as I tried to reach for her. “Nuh uh,” she raced across the room away from me. “You have to work,” she tapped her foot and pointed at my door. “Later, sexy murse.”
“I’ll take care of you when I get home,” I snickered. I could tell she was turned on. Her eyes were wide and there was a slight flush to her complexion. We were still new in this relationship, but I was slowly learning her signs.
“I’m counting on it,” she called as she skipped into the bathroom and closed the door behind her. I heard her laugh lightly before she was drowned out by the sound of the shower roaring to life.
I shook my head as I laughed to myself before grabbing my keys, and heading to work. It was going to be a long day.
Rachel
By the time I got out of the shower, Ryan was gone. I been at his place all week, and despite only having a few clothing items, it worked. When we went to the store the other day, I wore the one outfit I had here. Other than that, I’ve been stealing his tees and scrubs.
I’d called Kasey three days ago and asked her to bring my panties. It was one of the funniest convos I’ve had in a while. She didn’t understand why I just wanted panties, and I didn’t know enough about how to get to Ryan’s place to give her directions. Finally, after fumbling around on the front steps trying to figure out exactly where I was, I asked him to tell her. She came by later that day with a bag full of panties. Ryan had said it was the best delivery he’d ever received and he wished Victoria’s Secret delivered. The panties didn’t last long though. Over the course of the next several days he’s managed to tear every pair from my body. Scraps of them litter the bedroom floor, and as much as I love being naked, I love my fancy underwear too. I may be the no fussy girl, but I don’t scrimp when it comes to that.
After taking a shower, I wrapped myself in one of Ryan’s fluffy towels and waited for Kasey. She’d texted and told me she’d bring me some clothes. Since Ryan had to work such a long shift, I figured I’d do something to surprise him. The knock startled me, but I laughed when I opened to door. Kasey stood there with a bag in her hand, tapping her foot like the whole two seconds she was waiting just ate away at her life.
“Nice outfit,” she snickered as she stared at the towel.
“It’s this or his t-shirt,” I laughed. “I don’t have much else.”
“You’ve been here a week. Why wouldn’t you come home and get some stuff,” she pushed past me and looked around. “Wow. Nice place.”
“Un huh,” I nodded as I grabbed the bag that was clutched in her hand.
“So, what’s so magical that you don’t want to leave?” she moved over to the couch and flopped down.
“I feel like I’m living in a dream, Kase. I’m afraid if I leave I’ll never get back here. We’ve been together almost three months and this is the first time he’s let me in here,” I sighed. It was the truth too. Ryan always came to my place or we went to the pond. We never came here. At first I thought it might be the roommates, but then he said he didn’t have any. Then I thought maybe he had a girlfriend or wife that he was hiding, but nope. No kid, no girlfriend, no messy house, no nothing. I had no idea why this place was such a secret, but now that I was here, I never wanted to leave. It wasn’t like I had a place to go now anyway. I was living with Kasey, sort of. If Ryan asked me to move in, I know I’d say yes. He hasn’t though, and I can’t blame him. We’re still new. What if there’s something that we can’t stand about each other and we just haven’t figured it out yet?
Beautiful Goodbye Page 10