by Alison Stone
Jake assessed the situation. “I’m going to have to hoist you out of here from behind.”
Her lips slanted, indicating her skepticism. “Behind?”
“Trust me,” Jake said, grimacing as the cold water sloshed around his loafers.
“I dare say you haven’t given me gut reason to trust you yet.”
“Rebecca,” Jake said, feeling more than a little out of his element. “You’re going to have to work with me on this before we both catch hypothermia out here.” He lifted one foot, then the other, unable to escape the frosty pain.
Rebecca nodded, her lower lip trembling.
“On the count of three, I’m going to give you a shove partway out of the ditch. You’ll have to pull yourself up the rest of the way.”
Rebecca nodded, her bonnet askew on her head; a long strand of silky brown hair had escaped her bun. He bent over and threaded his fingers together. Put your foot here and I’ll boost you up and over the side.”
Rebecca gave his hands a you’ve-got-to-be-kidding look, but she lifted a small foot and stepped into his clasped hands. With one quick push-shove-hoist from Jake, Rebecca was able to grab hold and get to her feet on the side of the road.
“How are you going to get out?” Rebecca wrapped her arms around her middle and loomed over him, the moon haloing her bonneted head.
Jake had maintained his physical fitness since retiring from the army by working out at the campus gym. Now was when all that exercise would pay off. He hoped. He found a foothold on the wall of the ditch and was able to pull himself out rather quickly.
Jake followed Rebecca over to Buttercup. She smoothed her hand down the horse’s mane and whispered soothing words to the animal.
Rebecca finally turned to him, a look of fear in her eyes. “The car intentionally swerved in front of me. They spooked Buttercup.” Her lips trembled. “I...” She patted Buttercup’s mane. “We could have been killed.”
“Could you describe the car?”
Rebecca shook her head slowly. “It passed a few times before it came at me.”
“Any chance it was an older car? Three or four guys in it?” He thought of the vehicle Samuel, Eli and the Yoder brothers had hopped into.
“I don’t know. The lights blinded me. But it was a car, not a truck like you have and not a van.”
“Do you think it was random?”
Rebecca shook her head. “No, I think the driver knew exactly who I was. That’s why he drove past a few times first. He wanted to scare me.” She slurred her words, her lips numb.
Would Samuel really allow his friends to harass his mother? Risk seriously injuring her and her horse? Or worse?
Samuel didn’t strike him as that kind of kid. Jake shoved a hand through his hair. The last conversation he’d had with the young men crossed his mind.
“Come on. You can’t stand out here. I need to get you home.” Jake gently took her by the elbow and led her to his truck. “You need to get inside. Warm up.”
Rebecca pulled away. “I can’t leave Buttercup here.”
“No, no, of course not. I’ll call my assistant. Tommy’s comfortable with horses.”
“No, I don’t live far. I’ll get her home.” She strode back to the buggy, the folds of her wet dress slapping her legs.
Jake followed her. He reached into the backseat and grabbed a thick blanket. As he wrapped it around her shoulders and pulled it tight at her neck, his knuckles brushed against the cool, smooth skin of her jaw. She looked up at him with something in her eyes he couldn’t quite define.
Rebecca clutched the blanket and climbed into the buggy. “I’m happy you happened along. Thank you for s-s-saving me.” She nodded to him dismissively.
Jake laughed. “You really think I’m going to let you ride off alone? You’re freezing. I need to see you safely home.”
A look of confusion swept across her features. Jake hopped into the buggy and nudged her aside with his hip. “Give me the reins.”
Silently, Rebecca handed him the leather straps. “What about your truck?”
“I’ll pick it up later.”
“Do you know what you’re doing? Have you ever done this?”
“I’m an army ranger—I’ll figure it out. If I get it wrong, you can tell me.”
Even though he knew that wouldn’t mean much to Rebecca, he thought he detected a smile on her quivering lips.
“S-S-Samuel won’t be too happy to see you and me together again.”
Jake raised his eyebrows but didn’t say anything. Samuel was exactly who he wanted to see.
* * *
When the professor flicked the reins, Buttercup lifted her head and neighed, jolting forward and stopping.
“I think she’s still a little spooked from the run-in with the car.” Instinctively, Rebecca reached out, her hand brushing his hand as he held the reins a little too tightly. “Let me.”
The professor hesitated a minute, then scooted over a bit, making it easier for her to take control of the horse. “I guess I’m more an ‘insert key and turn, press gas pedal’ kinda guy.”
She cut a quick glance to this man, a stranger, really, who spent his time studying her community. Her neighbors. Her son.
The brisk autumn breeze ruffled the edge of the blanket draped over her shoulders. One side slid down behind her back. The cold from her wet skirt seeped into her undergarments. She stifled a shudder. Soon she’d be home and she could light the fire. Put this dreadful night behind her.
Buttercup trotted down the road, the steady, familiar clip-clop-clip calming her nerves.
“This is the first time I’ve been in a buggy,” the professor said.
“Really? I thought with all your research, you would have had the opportunity before now.”
He shrugged. “No. Maybe someday when we’re not all wet and cold you can show me how to do it.”
“Do what?”
“Show me how to get Buttercup to follow my commands.”
“There’s nothing to it, really,” Rebecca said, heat warming her cheeks. “It’s a matter of trust. Buttercup has been a wonderful horse.” She had taken the animal in when Hannah had moved away from the farm with Sheriff Maxwell.
Rebecca tightened her grip on the reins. “In my world, I don’t have the option of ‘insert key and turn, press gas pedal,’” she said, mimicking him.
He laughed, the sound pleasant after such a rough evening.
“I remember the first time I saw an Amish buggy.” The professor’s voice seemed nostalgic. She waited for him to continue.
“I was traveling through Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, with my parents and there they were, one buggy after another traveling on the side of the road. I couldn’t believe it.”
“What couldn’t you believe?”
“That people would actually choose to live without...” He seemed to be searching for the right word so as not to offend her. “...All the modern conveniences.”
“You can’t miss what you never had.” She gently tugged the reins to direct Buttercup toward her barn. The buggy bobbled over the ruts in the mud.
“At the time, I must have been around ten, I was fascinated with a certain TV show and I couldn’t imagine not being able to catch the next episode.”
Rebecca smiled to herself. Just the other day Flo had told her how the professor had reminded her of a character on one of her TV shows. Who was it? She wondered if he’d find it flattering.
The professor hopped off the buggy and jogged around to help her down. She had plenty of practice doing it all on her own, but it was nice to have a helping hand. Willard had been gone a long time now.
On the second floor of her house, she noticed a soft light glowing in Samuel’s bedroom. A mix of relief and fear tangled in her belly.
Samuel spent far too much time in his room. What was he doing?
“I’ll get Samuel to settle Buttercup for the night.” Rebecca stopped by the porch steps, a little unnerved that Professor Burke seemed insis
tent on seeing her to the door. “Thank you for coming to my rescue.” She gripped the railing tighter.
“I’ll have Samuel take you back to your truck,” she said, eager to go inside.
The professor glanced down the road. “No, I can jog back. It’s not that far.”
“But you must be cold, too.” She noticed the bottom of his wet pants. The leather on his shoes was discolored from the water. “Those don’t look like running shoes.”
He shrugged. “Actually, I would like to talk to Samuel before I left.”
Rebecca bowed her bonneted head and looked up at him shyly. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Shoot.”
“Why are we so fascinating to you?” She grabbed the blanket and pulled it tighter around her shoulders.
“The Amish?”
She nodded.
The professor ran his hand over his close-cropped hair. “My parents grew up in an Amish community. They were Amish.”
She jerked her head back. “Really? How interesting. They left the Amish community.” It was more a statement than a question.
“It was my father’s idea and since my mother loved him, she followed him.” He lifted his eyes, the moonlight glinting in them, making it hard to read the emotion there. “My father always joked, calling them fence jumpers. My mother always bristled at the comment.” There was something sad about his tone.
“So, Professor, is this why you study the Amish?”
He smiled that warm familiar smile. “Partly.” His answer came out clipped and she felt as if she had stepped out of bounds. “I think it’s time you called me Jake. We’ve spent a lot of time together.”
A smile tugged on her lips, but her feelings of fondness were fleeting. An empty road stretched behind him. And beyond that, her Amish neighbors.
The line of connection snapped as reality slammed into her. The last thing she needed was the neighbors chatting about poor widowed Rebecca Fisher entertaining the English professor. Her Amish neighbors would be requesting not to sit in her section at the diner in a silent form of protest. A shunning of sorts. The Amish’s unique way of guilting a person back into the fold. Back into following the church’s rules.
“I’d rather call you Professor.” The ever-present uneasiness tightened its grip on her chest. Would she ever be able to move past the shame her deceased husband had created? It was a physical pain she doubted she’d ever be rid of. If only she and Samuel could find acceptance in their own community. If only the Amish could dig deep into their vast well of forgiveness and bestow it on her.
“I don’t mean to cause you any grief,” Jake said, tilting his head. There was a kindness in his eyes she wasn’t used to seeing in a man. Willard had been cruel.
She blinked at him. Flo was right. He was pleasing to the eye. Inwardly, she shook the thought away. She had no business thinking in those terms.
“I’m not looking for your friendship.” She didn’t try to hide the exhaustion in her voice. “My coming to your office the other night was misguided. I was desperate. I thought you could help me understand what’s going on with my son.” Rebecca tapped the railing, a nervous gesture. “But I suppose that’s something I have to work out with Samuel.”
The professor put his hand on the railing near hers. For the briefest moment, she thought he was going to cover her hand with his, warming it. She ignored the disappointment that swelled inside her when he didn’t.
She had experienced a riot of emotions tonight and suddenly she felt extremely tired. And cold. So very cold.
“I can respect that,” the professor said, a gentleness to his voice. “However, I’d still like to talk to Samuel tonight before I go.”
Rebecca glanced toward the door of her house. “I don’t know.” Her meddling seemed to only cause more problems.
The professor bowed his head, then looked up and met her gaze. Apprehension settled in his eyes. “I know you don’t want to hear this, but I think Samuel might have been in the car that ran your buggy off the road.”
The blanket fell from her shoulders and her body swayed. “Neh.”
* * *
Rebecca’s face grew white and her lower lip trembled. Jake grabbed her elbow to steady her. “Let’s get you inside. Where it’s warm.”
She yanked away her elbow. “Neh, I’m fine.” He understood her anger, but he wasn’t going to let it stop him.
“What’s...what’s going on?” Samuel stepped onto the wide porch and rushed to his mother’s side. “Are you okay?”
She spun around and pointed at her son. “Go inside, Samuel. Professor Burke is leaving.”
Then Rebecca straightened her shoulders. “Please.” She softened her tone. “Go inside. It’s been a long night.”
Samuel’s gaze implored her. “Did something happen?”
“Do you know what happened?” Jake watched the young man closely. In the year since he’d been meeting with Samuel, the boy had gone from quiet and reserved to angry and fearful. He had assumed Samuel’s attitude change had to do with his friend Elmer’s death. However, as the harassment on the farm and toward Rebecca continued, Jake began to wonder if something else was at play.
Samuel looked everywhere but at Jake.
“Do you know something?” Jake asked again.
Samuel ran his hand up and down one suspender and stared at his boots for a moment too long. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Samuel turned to his mother. “What happened? Did you have an accident?” His gaze ran the length of his mother’s dress, no doubt searching for assurances that she was all right.
“A car spooked Buttercup. I was thrown from the buggy.”
Samuel shed his defensiveness and a worried expression crossed his features. He looked much younger than his eighteen years. His gaze drifted to the street, then he seemed to school his expression. “You shouldn’t have been out this late.” He glanced around; renewed fear pinched his mouth. “Where’re Katie and Grace?”
Rebecca touched her son’s arm. “They’re fine. They stayed with Aenti Gloria.”
“Were you in the car that spooked the horse?” Jake asked, carefully studying Samuel’s expression.
Worry settled in Samuel’s wide eyes. He pushed his straw hat back farther on his head. “No. No, I wasn’t,” he said adamantly.
Rebecca stepped closer to her son. “I know you weren’t in the car with them, but you need to be careful. You know the community is still watching us after—”
“After my dat.” Samuel pulled away from his mother. “Don’t you think I know that?” His eyes narrowed. “Is that all you care about—what other people think?” He held out his open palm. “You were tossed in a ditch and yet you’re still yelling at me for riding in a car.
“The elders look the other way when the youngie drive. It’s not fair that I’d be treated any differently.” Samuel stormed toward the house, but stopped with his hand on the doorknob.
“We are different,” Rebecca said, her voice quiet. “We are. We have to try harder.”
Jake resisted the urge to reach out and touch Rebecca’s arm in a gesture of comfort but he feared it wouldn’t be accepted.
“What ever happened to forgiveness? Why can’t they forgive and move on?” Samuel pounded his fist on the door.
Rebecca climbed a step and stopped. “I’m saddened that some people can’t seem to forgive. It will take time.”
“Were you dropped off without incident tonight?” Jake had to ask, bringing the conversation full circle. Last time he saw Samuel, he was hopping into a car with his friends.
“Yes, Uri dropped me off. He’s a good driver, mem.” Samuel took off his hat and scratched his head, leaving it in unkempt tufts.
“Uri was driving?”
“Yah, what does it matter?” Samuel crossed his arms over his chest, not waiting for an answer. “It doesn’t help when you and the professor are asking questions and snooping around.” His voice grew harsh. “I’ll never be accepted by my friends. Profess
or Burke here accused us of selling drugs.”
“You what? I...” Rebecca lifted a shaky hand to her lips.
Jake glanced at Rebecca. “We need to talk this through.” The look of distrust in her eyes tore at his heart. “But for now, I need you to trust me. Please go inside. Warm up.”
Rebecca slowly nodded, the defeat evident on her face. Samuel turned to go with her, too, when Jake called out, “Hold up.”
The young man slowly turned around but didn’t say anything. Rebecca went inside and closed the door.
“Your mother is worried about you.”
“I don’t know why.”
“You’re an adult. I’m not sharing anything that you confided in me. So, if you need to talk...”
Jake’s mind flashed to Samuel’s friend Elmer, the young Amish man who had been in a lot of pain and had turned to drugs. Jake had pushed Elmer to go to his parents with his issues. A memory stabbed his gut. Maybe if Jake hadn’t forced Elmer, the young man would still be walking God’s green earth.
“I don’t have anything to tell you.” Samuel shuffled his feet and kept sneaking glances over his shoulder.
“If there’s something going on, you can tell me. You’re not alone. I can help you.”
Samuel laughed, a harsh sound void of humor.
“You’re just interested in your research. A good research paper. That’s all we are to you. You don’t really care.”
Jake furrowed his brow. Was that what Samuel really thought? “I’m here if you need someone to talk to.”
“Night, Professor Burke.” Samuel disappeared inside.
Jake stood on the bottom step for a long moment. He turned toward the house when he heard the door handle click. Rebecca stood there, looking hesitant. “I’ll ask Samuel to take you to your truck.”
Jake shook his head slowly. “I’ll be fine.”
Rebecca nodded and closed the door. Jake strode down the drive to the road, to his truck parked down the way. He prayed the fresh air would clear his mind.
FIVE
Rebecca stood at the window and watched the professor until the darkness swallowed up his profile as he jogged toward his truck parked down the street. She hated to think what she would have done if he hadn’t happened by. She probably would have had to claw her way out of the ditch.